The JAFIO Report

How to read this post: every time you see JAFIO, you must say "Just Another Fucking Iranian Observation", then look yourself squarely in the mirror, wink, and tell yourself, "Rock and Roll Baby…."

Hey! At Least we're not Dutch!…
This week the entire country the Netherlands or Holland lost their minds as a long distance skater forgot to, or was coached to, miss a required lane change in the Olympics. The error cost the skater the gold medal. JAFIO, but it could be those skintight fitting suits? And the possibility that skating around an oval ice-rink for hours on end is somewhat stup…

NowRuz forevah, yo…
The UN finally acknowledged NowRuz (aka NoRouz) in a meaningless document that was immediately filed deep in a warehouse where the Holy Grail, and that big box from the first Indiana Jones movie are kept. At precisely the same time Bruce Bahmani's head exploded (See Link)…

Iran Leads in Science!….
In a study released this week, Iran was recognized as one of the top leading countries (China being first) in Scientific development. Based on a ratio of scientific papers submitted in the past 10 years, Iran has significantly increased it's scientific output and prestige in the scientific world. Most of Iran's scientific contribution has been in the field of nuclear chemistry. Hmmm…

They Call Him Flipper….
In Florida at the Sea World amusement park, one of the trained killer whales did what killer whales are supposed to do, and tried to eat one of the trainers. Further investigation determined that this particular whale was in fact a rare Caspian Sea killer whale, originally caught off the coast of Rasht by US Navy Intelligence vessels posing as Gilani Caviar fishermen. This past summer the whale had been observed to be highly distressed, and had tried to kill another trainer at that time. After this latest incident, the keepers at Sea World finally realized that the whale now re-named Nahang-Ollah was extremely distraught over the elections in Iran. Changes to the whale safety procedures included changing the radio station in the pen where the whales are kept, from Fox News to NPR…