Souri

Souri

Better yet, I believe J should put it on the top of the main page, as the motto of the site ;-)

Nobody would look! I think maybe it should be above the "post comment" button, with a check box that has to be clicked like the Microsoft software license agreement!

......

 Hi! Natalia,

     So sorry for what happened to your son.....it is sad! The robber must be very desperate! So sorry!! ......I will go to Swapmeet and have my Menudo there today. Thank you for your kindness and stay safe!

Delaram Banafsheh (Yolanda)

"Cactus in the Desert"

Souri jan,

I totally agree

:o)

Me too

I have decided I can't wait. I will be having a mini Thanksgiving Day today. Of course, first I will stop at my favorite Mexican restaurant and have Menudo and Orchata. I will raise my glass of Orchata to your well being.

Sorry, to hear about the bad news of your colleague. I wish him/her better days.

Well, last night my son was robbed near where we live. Thankfully, he is okay. His left eye has seen better days.

I will be doing my best to cheer him up today.

Best wishes!

.....

Thank you, Souri,

     Your blog has brought out the best stuff! Thank you so much! I don't know how to make a blog 'cause I really don't have the self-confidence, another thing is that I am a terrible writer.

Thank you and take care! 

Happy Thanksgiving to you, too if you observe Thanksgiving!

Delaram Banafsheh (Yolanda)

"Cactus in the Desert"

......

Dear Natalia,

        I am counting down to Thanksgiving by hours! Wednesday is a short day for me, I can leave work at 1: 23 pm......OMG! I am counting by minutes! ......The quote is just beautiful! I have learned so much on IC!  Yeah!!!! :O)) I forgot to tell you that one of my colleagues got laid off, so last Thursday we had a farewell party, we had a lot of Mexican food, I picked Pozole and Horchata....it tasted great!

Please take good care of yourself!

Delaram Banafsheh (Yolanda)

"Cactus in the Desert"

LOL, Natalia and Yolanda and Humility

Great idea!!!

Better yet, I believe J should put it on the top of the main page, as the motto of the site ;-)

Yolanda

Not a bad idea. One could  print it out and tape it to one's computer monitor.

Just as one's temper begins to rise on this web site, one could look at the quote. :o)

Happy Thanksgiving!

********

 Hi! Humility,

         Thank you for the following paragraph:

It's easy to be rude, condescending, overbearing, and vicious towards others. The measure of one's character is how one controls these animalistic impulses, rise above them, and act considerate, thoughtful, and respectful toward others! I would like to remind you that these are not signs of personal weakness, but indeed a sign of inner strength!

    Great job! It is absolutely beautiful! I have saved the paragraph and e-mailed it to myself as my motto! 

Thanks,

Delaram Banafsheh (Yolanda)

"Cactus in the Desert"

Humility jan

Thank you so much. I find you a very nice and sencitive soul too. The conversation between you and Holly was very interesting. I'd learned couple of things from you two. Thanks to both of you.

Humility

Thank you for yet again, expressing your views in such a clear and well put manner.

Again, I agree with most of what you are saying under general circumstances. The one point I think I view differently is related to your statement "...these are not signs of personal weakness, but indeed a sign of inner strength!". I happen to believe that shying away from confrontation, especially within our culture, often stems from the same root causes that being 'parkhashgar' stems from. Some react to the root cause by going down the path of the instinctive counter attack, and others down the path of the instinctive survival by hiding/avoidance. If in your experience many more qualify than not, for having reached that state of inner peace and strenght, then you have been more fortunate in your encounters than I :)

Thank you again and I wish you a very pleasant evening and Sunday.

HollyUSA

Thank you for your kind and thoughtful response.

I agree with the majority of your point of view, however, I would like to respectfully clarify my position.

I am totally for a vigorous and productive debate on any issue. If you get a chance, please take a look at my blogs for the past several months regarding the elections in our Beloved Iran, and judge for yourself.

Having said that, I fully, completely, and totally believe in maintainiing a standard of civility in our discussions and discourse. Again, please take a look at my blogs for the past several months, and see for yourself.

Maintaing civility, and being respectful of others, is a wonderful trait that we should all aspire to. If someone is acting in a disrespecful way, and is attempting to conduct him/herself as an uncivilized brute, then we shouldn't attempt to bring ourselves to their level. Otherwise, what is truly the difference between us and them!

I want to end this comment by saying this: It's easy to be rude, condescending, overbearing, and vicious towards others. The measure of one's character is how one controls these animalistic impulses, rise above them, and act considerate, thoughtful, and respectful toward others! I would like to remind you that these are not signs of personal weakness, but indeed a sign of inner strength!

I hope that I have made my position clear to you. Please let me know if you have any additional questions.

Sincerely,

Humility

P.S. I would like to thank Souri once again for being such a sweet soul. We need more people like her at this site! 

Humility

Thank you for taking the time to explain. I agree with you that in the general sense, viciousness does not advance any point. And before I go on, I would like to make it clear that I am not defending or condemning any particular person here, and that includes Azadeh. I have very little knowledge of her views as I said in her blog last night, having read very little from her during my time on this site. In addition I didn't get to read the comments posted after my last one last night. However, two facts remain in my view 1) Not everyone does, or can be expected to communicate their thoughts and feelings within any of our own individual accepted guidelines. 2) What is considered 'vicious' is very subjective at best.

Thus far to me, a few people on this site (and that includes you, and I hope you don't take offense to that because none is intended) are overly sensitive and want to keep the peace at all cost. Personally, I believe that sometimes the boat needs to be rocked, that waves need to be made or change will simply not come about. Now that is per my own individual standards and therefore subjective. Does that give me the right to come here, a public forum, and repeatedly tell people that I consider overly sensitive that their comments and reactions are 'spineless'? I think not. I can think it, and it may even be acceptable to voice my opinion respectfully once, but anything beyond that I think is unproductive and inappropriate. The same applies to what I call coming across as 'harsh'. What I'm trying to say is that I think a little give in either direction of the extremes of our own sensibilities, is not a bad thing.

Of course there are people who are just constantly and systematiccaly rude, disrespectful and unproductive. And there will always be people who don't sit well with us one way or another due to our oersonal likes and dislikes. But we can always choose to ignore them. That has not been my personal experience with any of Azadeh's comments thus far. 

I wish I had seen Azadeh's response to me becuase "all Iranian men are chauvenists" still doesn't answer the specific question that I asked.

HollyUSA

I was up very late last night, and I followed the various discussions between you and  others.

I remember your last comment. There were at least 8 to 9 additional comments after your last comment,  before the blog was deleted. I left the last comment myself on her blog, and less than 5 minues later, the blog was deleted.

Out of these 8 or 9 additional comments  that I referenced above, a couple of them were from Azadeh herself. They were highly incendiary, and quite accusatory. I have explained the nature of her comments in my comment below.

In any event, in my opinion, it is quite sad that grown ups such as Azadeh and others, find it necessary to stoop to such a low level just to get a point across. I believe that viciousness does not really advance an cause. Contrary to that, it could potentially alienate even those who would sincerely want to support that cause.

I hope that this has clarified things for you. If you have any additional questions, please let me know.

Sincerely,

Humility 

P.S. In part of her response, Azadeh actually addressed your question. The part that I remember made reference to the fact that, in her opinion, all Iranian men are chauvinists!

I didn't see anything 'vigorous'

on Azadeh's blog last night before I went to bed and that was past mignight already. Myself and two gentelmen were having a very civil debate about chauvinism and harassment and it was all perfectly calm. My last post was to Azadeh in response to her reply to a question I asked of her and then I went off to bed. Nothing 'janjaali' happened up  to that point and today the blog was gone. If Azadeh responded to me I missed it so if you read this Azadeh jan, I'd love to know what you said.

I personally think that the other extreme to the cosistently abusive people on this site are people who can't tolerate any sort of disagreement at all. In my opinion niether one is healthy or productive.  I also think that unsolicited personal advice regardless of how well intended, is inappropriate and is bound to not sit well with some people, and understandably so.

There. That's my two and half cents!

Thank you Anahid jan

This is also what I think. I didn't like when MPD deleted his blog. He did it also with his last one with almost 72 comments in it. This is own his business, but I won't do it unless there's an important reason. I've deleted some of my blog with no (or just a few) comment in it and specially I did it after a while had passed, not the day after its posting (as Maryam Firouz would say : Yani gohe ziadi khordam? lol :))

Souri jan, do not delete your blog. Mine was different

Dear Souri, I noticed that you referenced MPD and me and the fact that we have deleted our blogs sometimes.  Every blog is unique.  On mine, two commentators had issues with each other and I sided more with one which I should not have.  I also started questioning the necessity of having my blog itself even independent of comments.  Just because I deleted mine, does not mean that you should delete yours.  People should be able to take a degree of disagreement on comment threads.

Wow !!!!!!!

So many things happened while I was asleep ? Thank you for informing me. This is very kind of you.

However, as I mentioned before, this has nothing to do with me and this blog. Believe me, if I was convinced that deleting this blog will resolve the problem, I would do it voluntarily.

But honestly, it is like your neighbours fight each other and you go break your own house's window!

I let them fight until they get their wounds healed. I did my part.

Thanks for your very nice intention.

Souri Jaan

Last night, Azadeh Azad re-posted as a blog a poem that was published last year as an article. The poem was the same poem that she referred to in her comment below.

In the commentary of her blog, there was a vigorous discussion regarding her negative attitudes towards others in general, with specific reference to some of the comments that she left in this (your) blog here.

I have to say that there were some commentators who tried to bring about some level of reconciliation to the whole thing. In essence, encouraging everyone to adopt a more positive, respectful, and civil attitude towards one another.

However, Azadeh would have none of that. She essentially questioned the motives of anyone that disagreed with her, and targeted them with words such as chauvinist, immature, childish, etc. She went so far as accusing all Iranian men as being chauvinists!

In any event, this morning, she deleted that blog. The blog was even featured on the first page when she deleted it.

This is the whole story. HollyUSA participated in some of the discussions there, and brought up some good points.

I hope that this has answered your inquiry. Please let me know if you have any additional questions.

Sincerely,

Humility

P.S. My suggestion for you to delete this blog was to put an end to this whole affair. Of course, the decision is yours, and I would respect whatever that may be!

Humility

I'm so lucky! I just came in the site to take a break from my work and suddenly noticed your message to me!

 Unfortunately I don't know what you are talking about! Would you please explain more? What did happen here? I don't see any new comment in my blog. And you say Azadeh had posted a new blog giving a link to my blog? What was it ?

Why she did that? and why she had deleted it? I don't get it at all.

My blog was not addressed to nor was about Azadeh. She came there asking a question and I had answered her question and that's all.

Other people having problem (beefs) with each other has nothing to do with me. Imagine if everybody posting a blog here, should delete it because other people come there to fight each other? I believe no blog would stand this test in this site!!!

This happened already to MPD and Anahid and maybe some other members. But this won't happen to me dear. Because I don't agree with this principe of deleting my own blog because of other people having a problem with each other. Everybody should control themselves and everybody should act responsible and respectful.

But, yes please I need more info about that incident if you would kindly provide it. Thanks.

"....old wounds and nastiness ..."

"....old wounds and nastiness which had long been healed and forgotten..."

Sorry can someone point these out to me? And also if you could explain how 'healed' just comes back inflamed at a mere mention I'd appreciate that too. All I see is some possible disagreement/misunderstanding between S & A and they both seem to be OK with agreeing to disagree. What's wrong with that? At least it moved along a step from where it was before.

I don't know, either I'm really thick skinned or there's something in this blog I'm not aware of. So I'd appreciate any information that would help me understand.

Souri Aziz

I read your blog together with all the comments last night. It was linked from a comment in a blog that Azadeh Azad had created last night, which she subsequently deleted this morning.

I hope that you don't mind me saying this, but I think that it would perhaps be best for you to delete this blog also. When I read all the comments here last night, I noticed that a lot of old wounds and nastiness which had long been healed and forgotten, were being opened up, and reminded to people all over again.

I think that your suggestion to people to 'edit' their comments and make them more appropriate is a good thing, however, that may not be possible. A lot of people, including myself, when we are responding to a comment, we click on the 'reply' button. Once you do that, the comments become un-editable.

Please think about what I have said. There is way too much animosity, enmity, and toxicity already throughout this web-site.

With love, affection, and respect,  

Humility

P.S. If you have any questions regarding this comment, please let me know. I would gladly respond to them :)

HollyUSA

That is KFC not JFC... You know,,, kentucky Fried chicken:) don't eat too much though... will affect your chances of finding your ideal man O:)

Thanks you to all

My dear Natalia: Thank you so much for your nice words. You are a beautiful spirit. Happy Thanks Giving to you too (I'll be in US for TG :)) 

To all the friends: Thanks for participating in this blog. I value each one's opinion. Many of you have contributed in a great way for enlightening us. I appreciate it.

Due to the conjectural aspect of the blog, I wanted to delete it after Mr Karimi would recognized his unfair move. I even left him a comment on the other blog asking him to address this issue. However I didn't get any reply from him.

This give me two reasons for not deleting the blog. First by respect to all the great inputs by the friends and second because of Mr Karimi's unwillingness to take back his words.

Also I wish that the "unkind" comments here, would be deleted by their author. As you mentioned yourself, there's no need to go back on an old issue and bring the worst in each other's feeling.

Please do kindly delete your comments where there's offensive word in it, we are not gathering here to insult each other. Thank you.

To those friends who sent me emails: I thank you so much for your kindness. By principe, I rarely  reply to  the IC friend's emails. Hope you will understand this and accept my apologises.

My respects,

Souri jan

As you have adviced me in the past. I will just let things be.

Life is just too short.......:o)

 I know that you do not live in the U.S. but I still would like to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving Day.

:o)

JFC!

I didn't know u're in the business of proofreading! Pardon my errrrrrr :P

You

Misspelled hitchcok.

I capiche more than you could ever imagine.

Kourosh

I agree with what you are saying. What I am saying is that a lot of our men and women approach it as a 'deal' and play the part for it and then bitch about it! The men in those scenarios aren't any less guilty than the women so I don't have any sypmpathy for them. Capiche?

Which part exactly was 'hitchcok' like?

HollyUSA

Now you are sounding like alfred hitchcock!

You make it sound like it is a given, as if both are entering into a  relationship where they should know that something very ominous will happen. I disagree. The whole thing should be about avoiding to cause a sense of resentment and manipulation, that is THE thing about  a relationship plain and simple. Anything other than this "plain vanilla" scenario is a waste of time and ain't even worth a try to make it longlasting. Those who think can't take it at  this level, should resolve to stay single, for life.

Deceitful & Manipulative

Being deceitful is not gender specific by any means. Plenty of men are deceitful too.

I agree with you, more women seem to be manipulative than men. But aside from culturally historical reasons for that, there seems to be, (at least from what I can see around me) some sort of bargaining game that is common amongst Iranian men and women (non Iranians too although ma hamisheh karhaye bad roo kheyli ziyadi khoob yad migirim!)

In the latter case, which relates almost exclusively to relationships, I think both sides are guilty. The women are willing to 'sell' themselves and the men are willing buyers. What do you think is gonna happen when you are on two opoosing sides of the same deal? Manipulation and resentment of course!