Yaadeh Bachegia Be Kheiyr Part II


by TheMrs

Notes: Is this better than the earlier version I wrote? It’s not the truth but it’s more acceptable. I mean I don’t want to look like I was condoning anything by sharing that one experience that I had. I know this is a serious issue and that others were traumatized. I never thought that my experience, which didn’t leave a negative hand print on my life, would hurt others who went through child abuse. However, shame on shiny and sweet people holding hands when they try to force THEIR experience on others as if life is some kind of pre packaged cereal you can purchase and distrubute to everyone, in the same store and with the same taste.


Last night, I remembered a very bizarre episode from my childhood.

I remember clearly that I had just turned 12. Because of the barrage of missles falling on Tehran on an almost hourly basis, my parents decided that Tehran was too dangerous. As a result, we temporarily moved to a smaller city.

I welcomed this move, a feeling I ended up regretting. Even though most of my friends had also moved away, mostly to Shomaal, and others had left the country all together, I didn’t feel like I was losing them.

Those of us who were left behind during those stressful days had a lot of fun. Those days, most of my family would huddle together at different locations around the city, based on which neighborhood was considered more safe, that week. So my cousins and I were having a blast. It’s only natural! No school, no teachers and family sleep overs! Who could ask for anything more?

In any case, the point is that it wasn’t all bad. We, the children, didn’t mind the war. So when my cousins and I found ourselves on a mini vacation, we enjoyed every minute of it.

Once we arrived at our temporary hide out, we went wild. There was a big baagh. We could pretty much do whatever we wanted. For the first time in months, our parents were some what relaxed and we were free.

One day, as I was playing soccer, indoors, with 2 of my boy cousins, a distant family member decided to join. He was hairy and scary looking. I’m guessing now that he was probably in his mid to late 20s at the time. I’d never met him before because he didn’t live in Tehran. I didn’t like him. He forced himself on our game. We felt we had no choice but to let him play soccer with us. I was annoyed.

It didn’t take long for soccer to turn into a one on one fight. He was taking it way too seriously and as his opponent I was getting attacked constantly. He was aggressive and mean. These attacks were peculiar because they resulted in me falling flat on the ground desperately trying to catch the ball, and with him (mardeh gondeh) on top of me.

The first couple of times I didn’t mind. I thought we were really playing. On the third try, he slipped his hand in my shirt. Oh Shit. I let him catch the ball and I was kind of shocked. Did what just happened really happen?

A few minutes later and on some false pretense, he got me to sit on his lap and he attempted to feel me up again. I was in an awkward situation because my 2 cousins were in the room and totally lost in their own game. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to do. I was embarrassed.I left the room as soon as I could.

This is the first time I’m talking about this. I never told my parents. All throughout the trip, the fact that he was there tormented me. I never recovered from this experience.

My relationships with men have been awkward. And I can’t seem to find the right person to be with. I jump from one man to another even though I’ve never had a decent orgasm in my entire life. I'm on my road to recovery, because I’ve decided to heal and move on. I want to make sure that all other victims of child abuse are heard of. Today, here, I want to solve this issue.


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persian westender

Merci for

by persian westender on

Merci for clarification.



Persian Westender

by Derakhshandeh (not verified) on

I was addressing Shirin and others who posted on Part I and II blogs questioning TheMrs why she is not vicitimized and why this is not pedophelia and why we are not outraged and so on.

I think TheMrs refered to them as "Angry Posters". So I am refering to them who are accusing TheMrs of something that she clearly says she is not!

I criticized TheMrs because I thought her comments about the 21 year old man would definately attract criticism from our holier than Pope people and she shouldn't be too concerened with them.


American Wife

by Souri on

I've got your email. I wrote this comment below, thinking really
that you are the author of all those uncalled comments to me.

You have always a way of humiliating me and trying desperately  to discredit me in every occasion. As these comments resemble too much to your way of writing, yes, I assumed that they come from you. 

Now, if you say you are not the author, I accept it from you and apologize for having assumed that.

Nevertheless, the content stay always valid for the ones who write those stupidities against me.

My apologies' to TheMrs and the moderators, for this short note.

persian westender


by persian westender on

If you have any problem with anyone's comment in this thread, please address them directly. Since you've commented with a sarcastic tone, I don't know whom you are talking to.




آخرین خبر




ناظم سایت گفت......سنگ پا پیدا شد،  آتیش بس خانوما .....

صلوات جلیل ختم کن!

ceasefire ladies... pumace stone found

Moderator 1234

Dear Participants

by Moderator 1234 on

Please return to the dialogue about the issue in the post.

American Wife

Site Moderators, Souri and anyone else following this

by American Wife on

ridiculous posting.  I have written to Souri directly via email addressing this issue and will say it publicly as well.  I make comments about many articles... some I agree with and some I don't.  I say it under my registered name.  I don't play games.  Sometimes I'm attacked and sometimes people agree with me.  It's what Iranian.com is all about.  This is the seond time Souri has accused me of being someone else.  Others have accused me of being other people as well.  I've been accused of being an Iranian woman "wanting" to be American.  My husband and I have been accused of being the same person!!  Do not bring me into your little debate.  If you have something to say to me, contact me directly via IC.  Unless you can prove it, do not make allegations like this again.


so typical.

by be careful (not verified) on

back to accusing people again. you have no idea who I am. once again, you THINK you know. be careful what you say souri. you're very close to being slanderous. "command the owner of the site to banish you"???? what???? maybe you can't read any better than you can write. i know i don't own the site. i wonder if you know that too. i have the same rights as anyone else here to make comments. you don't like it? tough. you make ugly comments. i make ugly comments. lots of people make ugly comments.


(the author of the comment below)

by Souri on

Just don't worry about me. Live your life and don't pay attention to me. What's this obsession about me. Your American way of insulting all the time, betray you, you know ?

As you already said, I am an idiot who is not happy in her life and comes here to make others unhappy. Now, that you know the truth, just ignore me, the same way I always ignore you (of course when you sign with your own user name).
Tell your other friends of OC to do the same. 

The other people whom I called "stupid = Mash mandali" or I said had a child, are my friends. We talk together and are able to handle this, although sometime trough the site and publicly. Don't forget that you don't own this site and also nobody pay a membership here. So you can't claim that because
you are bored or your friends are annoyed by my comments, then you can
command the owner of the site to banish me ! You don't need to worry about that.

BTW: TheMrs had already talked about her double names here, I just followed her. If I said "Why ? because TheMrs is Nazanincanadai ?"  this was related to the context. An Iranian, would understand the nuance. You, didn't get it and I don't blame you.

Just forget about me and keep on working on your good job here. As I usually do about you, American lady.


you keep on and on

by you just don't get it (not verified) on

and just don't seem to get it. you accuse people ALL the time, of something. either they are someone else, or they are stupid, or you insist they have a child when they insist they dont (like YOU would know???). you harp on Shireen for calling TheMrs Nazy and how you always only address her as TheMrs. Another lie from souri... "TheMrs is Nazanincanadai". i'm sure TheMrs is so thankful you decided to let everyone know. even if some already knew, you decided to broadcast it to everyone else. now you accuse the moderators of deleting you. THANK GOD they do. they are as bored with you as everyone else!

please guys... please post this. its not ugly. it's simply the way ALOT of people feel!!!!


Our Macho! Macho! Macho Men!

by Derakhshandeh (not verified) on

Our Macho! Macho! Macho Men! and Women! want to say that they are here too and in case someone has any question about pedophila or don't know how to spell it or what it is they can give a "shout out" to the ignorant ones!

Otherwise even if the guy "was" a pedophelia what benefit would TheMrs have to defend him? What confusion is there or would there be?

Now as far as TheMrs; well what do you expect?! say something like some man did something and try to explain sex starved men?

There are "some" liberal minds here but you should have known that there are plenty of too-goody shoes around and they are going to say "something". It would have been a surprise for them to not say something since they are gods gift to man-kind!



by fahmidam (not verified) on


Agar mardom nafahmidand eshkaali nadareh,
yavash yavash mifahmand.

Shoma harf-e khodeto bezan.


Who has deleted the conversation between Shireen and Me ?

by Souri on

The part of shireen's comment (here below) which was insulting to me, is completely erased and my response to her is also deleted !!!

Wow !! This is hilarious !!!!!!!

Now, may I have the right to think that there are some moderators who write here as "Shireen" ? Or, I will be again accused of accusing people ?



by amirkabear4u on

Forgive me everyone this just shows what a confused nation we are.

This is strange for everyone to behave like this and look what we are arguing about.

Pendar-neek, Goftar-neek, Kerdar-neek


Persian westender,

by Souri on

I see there is at least one person here who did get my point . That is enough for me ! I thank you for your great comment which is in fact a global summary of all I wanted to say. You said it in a more comprehensive and logical way that I, tried to do :D)

Your comment was in fact a synthesis of all was written in this blog. I can't
be more agree with you. thanks for clarification of my thought .

PS: Samsam jan; Maybe two persons got mypoint ? thanks for your contribution . Hope your experiences were not soooo bad :O)


Very brave

by Homy (not verified) on

Dear TheMrs,
I read your article and I'm really sorry for what has happened. Pleae don't pay any attention to the people who have made a meaningless, crule and very negative comments. Your story is something that has happened to you and you simply wanted to share it with us.

I must say that I believe that Iran's socitey is very very sick and disturbed. Young men don't get sexual education neigther from school nor from their family and they certainly don't learn to have respect for a girl or woman. THis is at least my opinion and some people may disagree with me, but that is fine. I believe that many problems in our society have a sexual background to it..

But there are also many many good men out there whom I am sure you can trust on and with whome you can build a healthy relationship..

Good luck


To others

by TheMrs on

Believe me when I tell you that if I register as a man and put on some version of this, no one would care. At least, they wouldn't be so judgemental. To add to this, I have previously talked about mouth and putz. People can't take that. They don't like me. I've deleted blogs before, some losers who think their comments are what the world needs in order to move toward a peaceful resolution in Iraq, were hurt and don't like me. I've commented on various blogs about unrealistic some topics are, and people don't like me. You on the other hand, are the wind beneath my wings ;)

So be it, I have a coffee and a cigarette waiting for me. Have a nice weekend.

Special shout out to American Wife: I don't agree with you 100% times either because I'm right and you're wrong, but hey, if I had to marry an American woman, I'd want her to be just like you.


To Angry posters.

by TheMrs on

A few clarifications:

- Aw childhood is sweet: How could anyone not get that I wasn't being seriour about this? What the fuck is sweet about war? Never mind anything else...Please, do yourself a favor and don't read any of my postings if you do not get this. You will get sick from the uncessary stress in your life cuz I talk that way all the time.


- Decent man: Yes, in my case, the dude wasn't really a bad guy. He did something bad. Suffice it to say that based on my estimation, he was not a monster. This might not be the case of Shirin's rapist. What's it got to do with me?


- Child molestation: The social reasons why this happens is worthy of a discussion. How the victims feel is worthy of discussion. BUT THIS WASN'T WHAT MY BLOG WAS ABOUT. So, put on your seat belts, boog bezan boro kenar.


- My parents: As I said before, I never told you what I told them and what their actions were so where do you get off talking about them? Gossip? Who said my parents gossiped about the incident? I said that something was said in the dark. In any normal human society, it would be a peculiar thing to hear. Now if Shirin's family is different and wouldn't think anything of something being said in the dark, well, that's just abnormal!

- I do sympathize with all molestation victims. Which normal person wouldn't? But if you are a victim and are judgemental and want to force your feelings on me, you should see a shrink.

- Khaahreh Zeinab.: I am someone's sister. And I have no problem with muslim names. Zeinab, Zahra, Sekineh 3 pestoon etc...Is that supposed to be insulting? Ok then....you. you...you JENNIFER.


persian westender

This is one of the most

by persian westender on

This is one of the most controversial and interesting blogs I’ve ever read (among non-political ones which I dislike).

At least, one point shouldn’t be missed. The event could be recalled as a positive memory, where the author unlike many others whom remain silent in this situation, is among the few whom spoke up against the abuser with the loud voice and right on. The story had a happy-ending where the predator was repelled by the impact of assertiveness. So”Yadesh bekheir” is not irrelevant. I only encourage readers to stop psychoanalysis (not to mention insult and stereotyping). This is a personal interpretation of a personal experience.

Although, it goes without saying that child molestation of any type should be strongly condemned, in this blog we are not dealing with a “clinical case study” and a profile of a pedophile. The label of ‘Pedophile’ has a strong emotionally charged connotation and easy to stereotype, while it has many other characteristics such as a history of preoccupation with sex with kids, or deliberately selecting the kids as victims( where the means of normal sex are available).

Instead, the readers may find this opportunity which is provided here to discuss this sensitive topic with responsibility and in the related context. I mean, for example the reasons why in post-revolution era, sexual deprivation of young male (and female) may have resulted or facilitated such behaviours.





آی تخم نا بسم الله !



آی بچه برگرد ! کجا میبری اون سنگ پا رو وروجک ؟ ببین چه جوری حموم زنونه رو بهم میریزه‌ها !!!



اصل مطلب

امیر کبیر نزدیک مدرسه دخترانه با یک بسته سیگار وینستون (not verified)

بابا، خود نگارنده گفت این داستان اصلا و ابدا ارتباطی به دنیای بچه بازان ندارد و اگر دقت کنید عنوان خاطره چنین است: "یاد بچگی ها بخیر". این یعنی چه؟ یعنی اینکه خوب بود،شیرین بود. حالا ما شدیم کاسه داغتر از آش و ول کن قضیه نیستیم و بالاخره میترسم یک دردسر هم برای نگارنده ایجاد کنیم.

بابا ول کنید و بروید به خانه تان و دنبال کار وزندگی تان.

صلوات بلند ختم کنید


This is just getting better and better

by A.P. (not verified) on

Now people on both sides are calling each other Zeinab khanom and Hajieh khanom. The title is very confusing and now this. So which side is a Shahi and which side is the Hezbollahi?


Hypocrite idiots

by samsam1111 on


What,s the deal? . Yes She was a victim & Yes if She was (God forbid) my 10 yr old, I would run after the molester , to the gates of hell , but , Every one can relay her /his dilema in any which way He/She desires . I , being a chic magnet , devile handsome dude was abused at ages 14/17 by 7 older women in early & late 20.s . from my older sister's 2 college friends, to the neigbors's wife in charge of cooking for me  while parents were away on shomal trip . So to me, it was not only fun but educational enough to help me cope with females when outa Iran, on my own, at 17. The blogger here is simply trying to present her story in a non-victimized ,take-charge manner or She just might be trying to forego a closure  with her violated past with a bit of humerous pride , yet some audience here , rather than conselling the so called victim & giving her room to express herself, involve in gotch Ya mentality . Here , We don,t have 1 idiot writing as 3, but 3 different idiots writing as 1 ,since inventory is max . One of them being an Ex-Seyed-Basijii ommati molester giving lessons on ethics to these 2 ladies . It seems that some of these haji & hajieh khanooms need extensive psycho treatment to deal with their victim bashing as is the case in Arab V-ran under Shaikhs .  Come on folks, let her find her truce with her painfull memoires on her own pace !!!. 

cheers & hehe

American Wife


by American Wife on

Thank you for you very heartfelt words.  I am truly sorry if I left you with the opinion I was making light of child molestation.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  Please believe that.  My reaction is simply a reaction to THE reactions.  In this case, I truly don't think TheMrs was molested.  I do NOT condone inappropriate behavior from men of any age, teenagers, 20 year olds or grown men.  I think there is a huge difference between improprity and molestation.  I just don't think she was trying to be insensitive to the critical social problem you speak of.  If I left any other impression, I apologize to you and any other victims of molestation (not that I'm suggesting that you are).  I think TheMrs. is a very intelligent woman.  I think her blogs are extremely acerbic but humorous sometimes.  Sometimes they cross the line and I've spoken out against them.  Sometimes I agree with her and laugh my ass off.  People have odd ways of expressing themselves and unfortunately, words can be misleading... giving a completely different impression.  That's the bad thing.  But the greatest thing is that we are able to express ourselves at all!  Don't you agree? I value the respect you've shown to me and want you to be able to understand and enjoy my opinions.  Even when we DO disagree, it is a measure of the respect we have for one another that we show our displeasure with curtesy.  You have certainly done your part...:-)

ps... on some other comments of yours, I agree totally...:-)


oh no,

by still tired of souri (not verified) on

i don't think i'm going anywhere. i like it here. its entertaining. just not by you. i see you here and there on articles that ARE interesting. you make comments on things you know nothing about. you imply things about the writer of articles that are misleading and frankly, lies. you tried to imply that poor liz was after her father's money. how disgusting was that!!!! the poor girl has enough to worry about and you start spouting off at the mouth about how she deserves her "heritage".


The psychanalist who see obvioulsy I'm not happy in my life :D)

by Souri on

Why don't you go away ? Who needs you here?

Am I talking to you ?

Many people insulted me and accused me of being a child molesting supporter in that blog. I didn't answer.

Here they asked ME, the strait question. I replied. It WAS about me.

Don't worry, next time it will be about YOU. Don't get jealous ...


Oh this is fantastic

by Anonypishi (not verified) on

Please do not delete this blog. The comments are quite interesting and many are hilarious.
But there is something I don't understand of Souri's comment. She talks about the restrictions in the society that made a man of mid twenty or older do the molestation; my question is, we have an open society here but why do we have so many child molestation cases?
A man of mid 20 or older is not a teenager in my book.


why don't you just

by tired of souri (not verified) on

shut up and go away. this isn't about YOU. why do you always have to jump in and make everything about you? you sound just like the know-it-all that mash mandali said you are. you obviously are not happy in your life and you want everyone else to be unhappy too. BOR-ING.


i think in this number 2

by cj (not verified) on

you're making fun of people who didn't like your number one. right?


Just open your eyes and ears

by Souri on

Nobody is making light of child abuse. This is your statement about us, actually to humiliate us as I said before.

TheMrs, just said her childhood was sweet. She said that incident however
discomforting, did not affect her life. Everybody jumped on her for not
saying that she has been going trough trauma and sadness, because of what that happened to her. 

Not so while ago, JJ shared his similar experience about same subject. Nobody accused him of not being sensitive, or why his
whole life didn't change due to what he had endured with that indecent
tutor ? Why ? Because JJ is JJ and TheMrs is Nazanincanadai ?

I never said restriction are only for men. I said there are restriction !

You interpret things in the way you like it . I can do nothing for your
perception. I just say what I think is right in my opinion.

Of course, those restriction are also for women in Iran. Do you know that
some women do these things too ? Or you want to blind yourself again ?
Do you know how many women goes with the boy of the next door ? I had a
distant cousin who made a child with  the neighbour's wife at the age of
15 !! Of course you won't believe it, because it comes from me. Do you
know how many women, the mothers, go get a "bath" together just as "
close friends" ? Do you know how many things like this happen in Iran ?

Men and women are both victims in Iran. Only we see more about men's indecent action, because they are in the exterior
while women's action usually are indoor.

Have you ever read the book " Zane Hamsayeh" ? This wasn't me who wrote that book, this was Gholamhossein Saedi.

Maybe you will say a 13 or 15 years boy, who goes with the neighbour's wife, is consenting ?

I condemn child abuse in all its shape. I never said, because it's hard
to control his sex drive, the 20 years old man HAS A RIGHT to sexually
abuse children or even adult.

My point was only to say that, if there were not because of those restriction, many of those incident would not happened.

The same goes for the difference between a serial killer and a usually
normal person who would kill on an impulse. Both are condemned and
should be punished.

But no matter what I say or TheMrs says here, it doesn't change anything for you folk, because you are already decided to demolish us in here. That's why I said, who care ?