FATHER

To JJ & All

who left message, khali mamnoon.  Although to some it might seem strange to write a letter to a departed loved one on a public web site, I find comfort in it.  Sometimes, both my wife and I feel as if we will explode from the eclectic and powerful emotions that we have had to deal with in recent months.  I find some peace in being able to release some of those feeling through the written word.  Thank you JJ for humoring me in my grief by publishing what I've written to and about my son.  Everyone finds their way through grief differently. This is the way that seems to have helped me most...little by little...day by day... to recover from the tragedy my wife and I have had to deal with.  Thank you.

To all those who left words of comfort, I want you to know how much your expressions of sympathy, understanding and love mean to the two of us.  I guess only those who have walked in our shoes know exactly how painful and difficult the circumstances we find ourselves in can be.  Your love is appreciated and reciprocated.  I would like Nazy to know that her words were expecially comforting and needed at this time of year by both my wife and I.  We are sorry also that you live so far from us, and that we can't meet you.  Your kind, tender and loving words helped to make our sadness less heavy during this Norooz.  Thank so very, very much.

May God Bless All of You.

gone

Well, I am the son and dad is the one who left. But for 27 years of separation, your words seemed to have come from him.

I often wondered how they felt every 4shanbe soori and every Eid without their son.

I'm alive, but it sure seemed as if Dad was talking to me.

Your loss is felt and your pain is shared. I hope you find peace and endurance in this heavy moment.

ChicagoDad you are one of us.

If I remember correctly you mentioned of your son passing away in 2007.  So what Nazy Kaviani is saying is true and we are not leaving you alone.  You are one of us so look for us and we'll look for you right there in Chicago. May the new year bring you more friends, more Iranian friends, more Iranian rituals and better news, peace and patience and better days.

Somewhere else!

I think there's not a greater pain for humans to endure than the loss of a loved one. Specially one's child. I truly thank you for sharing your feeling with us and I want to tell you my own short and similar story. I left Iran when I was 11 years old and due to family issues back then, my mother stayed in Iran. I've always kept in mind that very last moment I saw her for the last time. It was a beautiful and sunny day in Tehran, in the 'Gorgan' street area, now called 'Shaheed Namjoo'.  As I was leaving the house with my backpack I turned to say goodbye to my mother and aunt and causines. They were all smiling and wavying their hands. I remember my mother smiling to me, at that moment neither I nor she knew that that would be the very last time we would see each other. Then once abroad, I thought that I'd always go back and see her again, but it never happened. I couldn't go. Many years went by and because of my relocations, we lost touch. By the time we got in touch again, my mother was sick, although back then I didn't know how serious it was. I still remember that morning in Montreal when the postman brought me a letter from Iran. I somehow knew what the news were. As I started reading the letter that another close relative had written, I knew that that morning back in Tehran would never happen again, that she was gonne. That feeling so difficult to discribe, never left anymore. Years later, I finally managed to go to Iran and I wanted to visit where my mother had been burried. Once in Beheshte Zahra of Tehran, sitting by her grave, I couldn't cry, I did not cry, because something deep inside me was telling me she wasn't there, she elsewhere. There is not a day I don't remember her, her smiles, her honesty. When I look at those old pictures we took toghether in Tehran, in Parke Melat, in our street during winter, building a snow man..it breakes my heart. But, I keep telling myself that perhaps someday, I'll see her again, elsewhere. If God is just and fair that I know He is, he'll join us again with our loved ones. God is fair, and our essences and real beings continue existing in a better place. My friend, you will see your son again and in the meantime your your Son is with you not physically but spiritually. Your son will be happy by seeing you and his entire family happy and united. Your happiness is his happiness.

Ba sepas

Kamangir

Truth teller

Nowruz is a time in which people reflect on their lives and can also remember those that have gone before us. It is a time of joy, renewal and remembrance.

There is no need to be cruel to the author of this article.

Solh va Doosti (paz a vosotros)

Nadia

be nice

Truthteller,

Sadness is part of life as is Nowruz. So, if we are sad because of any reason, it does not magically disappear on March 21st.

So, be nice. Don't be rude.

Beautifully expressed pure emotions ~ Tks for sharing

" Death is a challenge. It tells us not to waste time... It tells us to tell each other right now that we love each other. " ~Leo Buscaglia

Dear Sir, your pure emotions expressed in your piece has touched me as well, please accept my sincere sympathy in the loss of your son. May you and your wife find peace and comfort at this time of Year as Now Ruz for us Iranians is Celebration of life ( May the memories of your life together with your son bring you and your wife joy). Life will not be the same but you have the memories that no one can take from you. regards ~ Homayoun

Dear "sadchicagodad", As

Dear "sadchicagodad",
As usual when reading your notes, my tears ran down my face non stop. According to Bahá'í teachings human nature is fundamentally spiritual. Although human beings exist on earth in physical bodies, the essential identity of each person is defined by an invisible, rational, and everlasting soul .
The soul animates the body and distinguishes human beings from the animals. It grows and develops only through the individual's relationship with God, as mediated by His Messengers. The relationship is fostered through prayer, knowledge of the scriptures revealed by these Teachers, love for God, moral self-discipline, and service to humanity. This process is what gives meaning to life.
I will preyer for your son, he is in a nice place.

Stop Making People Sad!

Norooz is supposed to be a happy time of the year for Iranians. It isn't supposed to be a sad time of year, so stop trying to make everyone sad with your own personal problems.

I am speechless

How painful a tragedy to lose a child.

How beautifully you expressed your sorrow and touched my heart...

I wish you and your wife a world of patience.  

with deepest sympathy I offer you my condolences

IRANdokht

My deepest condolences...

Dear Sir,

I'm sorry for your loss, may you find hope in the midst of sorrow,and comfort in the midst of pain...extending deep and heartfelt sympathy to you and your family.

Respectfully,Mona

Growing Heaven's Wheat

In Iran, when someone passes away, the family's first Nowrooz entails special and different-than-usual details. The family of the deceased are excused of their required rounds of visits to others, staying in their home, where others are duty-bound to come and visit them. Iranians pay respect to a home and a family that has lost a loved one, because it is undestood that Nowrooz is not a time when you leave the sad, the grieving, and the mourning alone.

Well, Chicago Dad, you're just too far away from me and even if I knew you, I couldn't come to visit you and your wife, to tell you in person what I must now tell you in written words on a public forum. I can't hug you and hold you and cry with you, touching your shoulder and hanging on to your wife's hand while I try along with you to make sense of your loss and to wish a less painful way forward for you.

I am sorry for your loss which I know too well is unimaginable for anyone who hasn't suffered the same. Even the news and the idea of it creates wave after wave of pain and sadness for me, thinking of your pain and sadness. I know your boy is in heaven, growing the wheat of heaven, and putting the Nowrooz spread of angels out, jumping over the fire, and all the time keeping an eye on you and his mother.

I know something else, too. I don't know when and how this happened for you, but I can read and feel that you, too, have become an Iranian in the process of your grief and the way you express it. Your letter to your son is intertwined with many things and sentiments Iranian. Could it be that as this world lost a beautiful budding Iranian, from the pain and the loss was born another Iranian in you, to keep his place in the traditions, sentiments, and most importantly, next to a woman who must be equally trying to make sense of things and to go on? I think so, and I think you are doing an admirable job of it. You are now our "Honorary Iranian" Chicago Dad Jan, and a very good one at that.

I am proud of the Herculean effort you two are putting into getting on with the business of life, and I wish the two of you a year full of strength and patience with which you can attend that business. All the power to you. You make me proud. Happy Nowrooz to you.

You have touched my heart

and my tears have also washed my cheeks. I am sorry for your loss. How can emotions so pure be put into words. May God give you and your wife patience till the day you and she join your beautiful son and and your family is whole again. 

very sweet.

Awwww, so sad, and so loving and sweet. Like you said he is right there though, you feel his presence because he is right there with you. Yes.