ACTION

As we come up on yet another NoRooz, we once again wince in anticipation as to whether this will be a Google-ful or Google-less one.

Each year, people better than me, have called, emailed, blogged, begged, tried to bribe Omid Kordestani's secretary, and even tried to ambush Omid at parties to convince our mightiest sword at Google to convince that small, evil, mean-spirited graphic designer in the basement, whose privileged job it is to put up the holiday logos, to stop playing with himself for 5 minutes, and put up a God-damned Haft Seen Google logo for once.

Jesus!

Today's Google logo is in the ancient Celtic symbols.

To put up this logo, and not a NoRooz one, is absolutely unfair.

First, you cannot clearly read today's Google logo in this Celtic font, unless you chug some Guiness and squint. (Sorry about that one!)

Second, the traditional St. Patrick's day celebration does not in fact celebrate Celtism, but Catholicism via St. Patrick, who culturally implies and is more aligned with traditional Irish culture (not Celtic culture which although rich and valuable in it's own right, is nevertheless  pagan and non-Catholic).

So the shamrock, a leprechaun, and the color green is most relevant for St. Patrick's day, and a logo decoration. Not Celtism, as Harry Potter-ish as it may appear.

Third, with this undecipherable Celtic logo, Google has reduced the primary effectiveness of it's own Logo in favor of Celtism. A very very big marketing No No.

Celtism, is an Irish-American favorite, so clearly the Director of Domestic Holiday Logo Uploadage at Google, is being influenced by an Irish-American Google employee. Probably gave them the idea over one of those free lunches on the Google campus.

Clearly, today, Google is showing a very very very biased tip towards the ancient Celtic culture. As if we Persians will somehow not notice if they don't do the minimum same for us.

The logo I have added to this piece was created by the fine folks at the Persian Student's Association of Stanford University. Although it does not take a rocket scientist to design such a logo, apparently one did anyway. And they submitted it dutifully like every other year. (Sorry guys, stop bragging and get in line, you aren't the first to send Google a Haft Seen logo) But this one is very nice and will certainly do.

This logo will also do what the Celtic logo is not doing, which is to prominently promote Google in the process of reminding and honoring the 300 million people in the world of their most cherished holiday, NoRooz.

As opposed to barely 80 million Irish people left in the world. The entire world. The entire universe, even including Pluto!

So, I do not see any legitimate, business, or cultural reason NOT to use the PSA "engineered" Iranian Haft Seen logo on this Saturday's Google home page. I'm sorry, US Home page.

Taazeh, it's on a Saturday! Which is not even a business click-infested weekday! So there is even less negative exposure for Google. If Google believes that putting the NoRooz logo would somehow be considered to be negative.

At this point, if Google does not literally "Put up the Haft Seen", they are saying that NoRooz is a negative. Too negative for Google. Google! The company that has all but put a down payment on the planet! On a non-business day no less!

Taazeh, this, after the US House has just passed Resolution #267, which recognizes NoRooz as a positive and valuable day. If Google doesn't do it, then they apparently disagree with the US House as well as every single Iranian online.

So as Iranians say, "Bebinim 'o' Tamasha Konim", which translated roughly into English is Bing!