The same music playing on and on and on

We lack slightest penchant to ever stand up together


The same music playing on and on and on
by bahmani

For 2500 years we have been relatively organized as a people called Persians or more recently, Iranians.

While the civilization we apparently gave birth to, that doesn't even call us once in a while, is too busy I guess applying all that fancy democracy as the preferred optimal governance method. We've merely gone from a 2500-year long monarchy system and rule, through boring father to son succession (What? No Queens?), to the next worst dress you could pick out at Ross, namely Oppressive Dictatorship. Sorry, Religious-based Oppressive Dictatorship. In gaudy Red. With neon-green chiffon trim. Big-Panty line showing from the back.

Is that visual enough for ya?

I am always hoping though, that in the next Hyperspace Jump, we can hopefully make it to the planetary system of self governance or popular rule through freedom. You know, the one that everyone else who seems to be the slightest bit enlightened, gets to enjoy. Just like India!

Man! You know things are sad when you aspire to be like India!

And it's not even a sure thing though, since like maybe half of us, even with the current bitter taste of current Iran in our already bitterness filled mouths, seem to now want to go back to another monarchy again. Albeit it seems thankfully, a secular one this time.

Maybe it's all that Will and Kate coverage in the media.

But to answer a recent question in this forum, yes, obviously given the result, I think everyone can pretty much now agree that Iranians in 1979, made a huge mistake in allowing God to hijack their country, and the "Other Iranian Hostage Crisis" to continue, now going on for 30 more years since that mere childsplay 333 day more popular one.

And God does not appear to be losing his grip, flinching, or even blinking anytime soon. If anything he has shifted his weight a bit to the left, spread out his feet just a bit wider than his shoulders, bent his knees a bit, cracked his neck, and knuckles, cocked his other, more menacing eyebrow at us, as he grins and motions us arrogantly with his other hand.

Come forward. I dare ya. Punk!

Iranians as an average, have a general lack of the slightest penchant to ever stand up together, nevermind actually fight good for our collective liberty. Many know this well from our continual soccer hell, and nationally established metaphor, as the lack of the ability to play on a team.

In fact Iranians while under the worst human rights conditions that would knock out the common cockroach, not only survive, but actually thrive, with enough time to make and send each other PowerPoint presentations and worship personal achievement, like search engine billionaires who prefer corporate pastry over their wives, while others inside-trade their common stock, in order to fly into space for the purely common fun of it. How Common!

Damn! Here comes that bitter taste again! Akhhhhh!-Tofff! Anyone got a mint? All you got is Wintergreen? Never mind, I'll take anything to get this taste out of my mouth... Well almost. I do likes me some Cherry...

Given the current single-minded focus on pure self preservation for pure personal good, over the slightest self sacrifice for the slightest common good, it is unclear when or if Iranians will ever make a collective shift from the nightmare of this Groundhog's Day, and gain true freedom anytime soon.

I mean if Vali Nasr has all the time to answer every single question from the US government, or Reza Aslan has all the time to explain to Jon Stewart how Islam really works, you'd think... Nah! There's no money in it.

And given the many droning articles that go on and on and on and on and on about freaking Mossadegh in this publication alone, and the constant itch of sweet agony that obsessively compulsive or yet more IADD pining over the past offers, clearly no one is looking forward!

No one in the slightest, would even dare to suggest that they are even thinking of being the next Mossadegh, and everyone is standing around with their Cialis in one hand, Viagra in the other, dick-limp-waiting for someone else to walk by and do it.

Or ideally a real-life hero to romantically emerge through the smoke. Preferably tall, dark, on horseback, hung accordingly, and a full head of hair. Preferably Black, or Silver-grey would be OK. But definitely Rostamish.

So given our all too predictability, our current hostage takers du jour easily note this to self, and then set a simple 1-ring reminder event on their iPhones, to forward that note to their Orcan henchmen, to remember to not forget to exterminate anything that even slightly moves or sounds or looks the slightest bit like a hero. With an added post script of, "And Ali-jan, it might get cold, so don't forget to bring some extra extreme prejudice".

This is why the Basij-Alis use such foul language, and spit a lot, on the few pigeon-protesters or anyone else they can get their Ali-cat-claws on.

Because we are that pitifully obvious, sadly predictable, and entirely uncreative about gaining our rightful-God given freedom. And as much as we claim to love Academia and with all the PhDs we got, we don't even review or refer to established textbook resistance techniques. Not Che, not Mao, not King. Gandhi? Too obvious. Plus he was Hendi, and even though we really aspire to be India one day, we can't really have our protests inspired by Hend. We just don't like that smell of cocoanut.

We're also just too busy self preserving. And thriving. And cheating. And stealing. I mean, that and soccer practice, who has the time?

Akhhhhh!-Tofff! Mmm! Cherry? Nice!...

This is why the Iranian dance floor is always sadly empty, even while the same music plays on and on and on. Think of it another way, this might finally explain why "I will Survive" is the average Iranian's favorite song. I mean for God's sake, it has been playing in our heads for 2500 years now!

PS: Our next favorite song statistically, is "Kavir" by Googoosh, which also explains a lot. If you do as you do, and ignore this piece completely, try and think about it on your way to Costco to buy those big Anars which are now back in stock. They always bring them around Fall. But make sure you don't tell anyone. All the more for us!

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Dear Mr. Bahmany

by omeedvar on

I have read some of your blogs, and enjoyed very much. Although my English writing is not as strong and sophisticated as yours, being much older than you, and having lived most of my life in Iran, I would like to express a few points.

Despite a dominant culture of mardsalary, and mostly boring father to son succession monarchy system, we have had Queens like Pourandokht, and Azarmidokht in the past.

As you mentioned, Iranians are not good in teamwork. They are individualistic, and they shine in sports like weight lifting, and wrestling. After thirty-three years of miserable life under Jomhoorye Islami, they still cannot cooperate with each other, to change their situation, and make a better life for themselves and their families.

 Considering our very complicated situation in Iran, I think the most practical way, at present time, is to unite for a secular constitutional monarchy like Sweden or other European countries. Make a new constitution free of religious or other dictatorships, where shah is only a ceremonial figure, and a democratically elected prime minister runs the country for four years.

I have noticed that majority of Iranians including many who believed in the revolution, in recent years, confess that they have made mistake. After experiencing three decades of IRI, they think Pahlavis, despite their shortcomings, have served Iran relatively well. Reza Pahlavi seems to be open minded, and has done nothing wrong personally. He and his family have lived with dignity under difficult situation after the revolution, and always defended Iran and Iranians with different ideology.

Believe me, if a miracle happens, and Tomorrow Iranians will be asked to vote for a President of a democratic regime in Iran, everybody wants to be the president, does not accept others, Kill each other, and become another dictator! Only time and a true system of education may bring a real democracy in Iran, whether monarchy or republic.