For a united Iran and Toran

The love affairs between Ashcan and Shahrzad. Ashcan said that he has met a nice beautiful gorgeous girl in a party in Tehran. Ashcan was the first lieutenant in the army and was performing his military duty or service in the Iranian Imperial Army. As he had the doctorate in Medicine also MA degree, he was first lieutenant. He was tall handsome and from a middle class family.  Ashcan told me after the first day I knew her; she called me and asked him to get together to the cinema or movie theater in Tehran.

She was a very nice girl and very pretty also. She asked him to see her in a restaurant and from there; they can go together to a movie theater, which is also close to the Café house. I think the name of Movie Theater was Diamond. It was in the middle of Tehran. The movie theater was showing the movie Trap and the young people liked to see that movie.  He continued he drive with his car to the café, he parked the car and went to the café or restaurant. I saw the awesome girl was sitting with another nice girl behind a table, which had three chairs around it. It seemed that they reserved one chair for me and they put their bag on it. I went closer and said hello to them. Shahrzad gave her hand to me and told me that is my friend Shirin, she is Armenian and is my best friend. 

Shahrzad was very white and had very light brown hair, her friend; the Armenian girl was dark blond also. She reached her hand to me and we said to each other How do you do.  It was a very nice time for me. To speak with two such beautiful girls, both were academic and very well educated; may be in Europe and America. Shirin was also the name of an Armenian girl who was the wife of Khowsro the king of kings of Iran. Also sort of Shahbanu of old Iran or empress of Persia. The conversation was very sweet for me and very interesting.  I have studied only in Tehran and I know only Tehran, but both girls had experience about almost the whole world. From Europe, America, Australia and Africa.  They have a lot to say and I was quite and listen to their nice and beautiful speaking.   Shahrzad was telling her friend, that we know each other just one day, but Ashcan is so good and so nice and so friendly and so polite and intelligent that I wish to be with him every minute of my life.  I think I know him for a long time. She continued such a nice, tall and handsome and medical doctor with good moral and nice attitude is very rear. I was so comfortable and was so happy that she admired me so much.  And tried to humble myself and say that I am not as good as you say, I am just a normal person. You see too well and you are making me ashamed, as you are so good you see other people also good and nice. I wish I was really so good as you are introducing me to your friend. I thanked her and was surprised why she admired me so much. This was like a very fast Love (as in Iran without sex desire).  In Iran sex is cheap and not good before marriage, and normal girls do not have any sexual relationship with any boy until they marry. Not only they should stayed virgin, but their lips and body should also not be touched sexually by a man. 

  Shahrzad was working in the Rudaki Hall in Tehran, it is like an opera and is very beautiful, and the king of kings of Iran went there also with the queen Farah.  They had a royal place, an extra place there.  She came from Paris and had finished her study there; I think she had Master degree in French and English languages and literature from the University of Paris.  Sorbonne or so.  I think she was translator and editors may be. She had also a nice sport car, may be very expensive for two persons that she brought from France. Her face was beautiful oval form, her eyes were big and nice with green color, and as I said her skin was very white, and the hairs were light brown. Her body was tall and slim and in a very good form.  I think I was about half year in my duty, military service and my job was working in a military hospital and I had a lot of responsibilities. 

 I wanted to be a good friend of Shahrzad and she was extra ordinary also very friendly with me. As if I am the best man in the world. Shahrzad invited every day me to a performance and or a party and I went every day after I had finished my work to her.  She took me to the houses of all his friends and relatives. It was a very nice and beautiful time, that I can never forget it. The way that she acted showed she is in a deep pure love with me. The sort of the Persian deep love.  Shahrzad was a high class girl, that means she or her parent were very rich.  Her father was a rich merchant that had at that time billions of dollars.  The people told me that her family is multi   billionaire. They had a huge house in the Middle of Tehran, which costs that time millions of dollars. A very luxury house and nicer or bigger than a luxury hotel.  The whole house builds by murmurs. 

 The most expensive stone with nice colors.  As she had mastery in French, English and Persian and studied the literatures of this language, she was employed by the Rudaki Hall in Tehran and her languages should be very excellent, as she should edit the plays and translate them into Persian or other languages.   As I said I was from Persian Middle class and traditional family and I was never been in other countries, even not other Iranian states.  So we were trained that we should like or love the girls like boy and we should not show any sexual interest before marriage to them. Something like a sister we should love other female friends. Sorrowfully or luckily I did the same action with Shahrzad, I was looking at her as a precious gift and treasure and never tried to touch her or to kiss her.

I was trying just to enjoy her company and her speaking and her seeing. It was very nice to have such a brilliant girl as friend. I tried also not to take her hands in mine or have any other close bodily contact with her. Because in Iran to show sexual interest to a friend is cheap and bad. So I thought if I try to take her hands in mine, it is impolite and she will be upset like other Persian girl.  Shahrzad also admired me a lot and I was for her also important, but she never told me a love word.  I afraid to say love words also and thought may be she will get angry with me and our relationship am cut.  But Shahrzad was for a long time in Europe and America and may be she thought differently as a normal Persian girl who was only in Iran.  She has seen other action, cultures and people who are completely different than us and they act also differently.  But I was only in Iran and from a modern religious family.

 And I just learned very well and read a lot to pass the exams.  You know that medical school is very hard and it is a lot of Latin words you should know by heart. And a lot of English texts and books you have to read.  Only very good students can pass the entry exams of the medical school in Tehran.  You should be very smart student to pass all these exams.  So I had only friends and never a lover or a girl friend.  I had learned so that I have to act to the girls or female friends like that you act to the male friends. I had a lot of girls in my class and we help each other by learning and we learned together often.  But we have no sexual desire about these girls, they were future doctors of Iran and they were just our friends with respect and dignity and not with love and sexual interest.  Sort of Love without any sexual interest.  So I never even thought to take her hand in mine or huge her. 

 I thought if I do this she will be angry and will go away from me right away.  Or if I take her hand in mine, she will take it out of my hand with anger and may be bad way.  So that I will be ashamed badly.  As a cheap man, who wants sex from a friend?  I was twenty six years old, but I had no sexual or even love affairs. I thought these thing is sin and cheap and is not good at all and if you act against a girl she will be very upset and thinks you want her as a sexual doll or object and so she can get a bad name; something like cheap girl.   But Shahrzad studied in Paris and may be she thought a little bit differently. But I had no courage to risk this. Even in the time that we walked together, I took some distance with her. I mean few inches.  I had no experience for love and I do not know how she was thinking.  Shahrzad was a nice good girl who studied very well in her filed and she read a lot of books and had a lot of information about the world and concerning the life. She speak a good high class Persian or English, because French I did not know a lot. I do not know if she could understand this point that I am a modern religious person. My mother did not have Hejab, but she was very religious, she did not like that her son or daughter get involved in a sexual activities or disaster.

  She even thought to kiss a girl and or to take her hand is a sin, as you may think sexually about the female who is not your sister.  And Ashcan like many other Iranian young men had accepted this type of attitude.   Ashcan was in a sort of love with Shahrzad, but as Shahrzad did not give any love signal to him, he afraid to start, because he did not want to lose her.  Ashcan was happy also with just the friendship with her. They were for month’s just good friend and see each other every day, even holidays. In all these times Shahrzad show me that she trusted me deeply and is happy with the condition.  As I do not want to use her like a sexual object or a sex doll. I love her thinking and her action and her being, and she showed she is satisfied with these. 

So we were good friend and we have deep Love and respect for each other.  Now I think sometime, may be I did mistake and I should try to get closer to her and encourage he to love me like a girl friend or a lover. We were hours and days together and we spoke about books, writers, knowledge, science, politics and the condition of the society  and the concerning of the world problems and I never tried to destroy this deep friendship with my beloved Shahrzad and do something that she thinks I am not a serous personality and a cheap play boy.  I thought first she wanted to learn about me , my thinking , my knowledge , the way I think and my interest. After that she will compare by the picture of the future husband that she have in her mind and see if she can accept me.

She wanted to know me fist very well and have enough interest about me and then she will give me a signal that I can offer my proposal.   Generally that is in Iran very normal that the young people even if they want to marry each other, they do not hold the each other hands or they do not kiss each other in a love way. Because the other people say the girls who does this is useless and cheap. And as I said she should keep her virginity plus the virginity of her lips and body and not only the virginity of her sexual organ.  She should not have been touched by a lover before marriage.  A girl who is touched by a lover is not good and the people do not like that type of girl. But in the west the couples who love each other live with each other like husband and wife.

The conservative Iranian say the west girl are second hand, their body and their sexual organ has been used by other and they are not true wives in the life. In the measure of East the girls from West are sort of hookers who do not get cash money. So with this thinking, can you imagine how Ashcan should behavior himself regarding the beautiful friend or close friend? But not girl friend in the Western meaning. How can Ashcan do something which may be bringing the friend in a bad action or mood? With all these old tradition and culture from the old time; it was very hard may be for both of them.  Shahrzad told me that you are the best possible man in the world; and you are so good and so nice. But still she did not say something that I love you and I wish to be your wife. 

 Or if you have any desire of marring me; you can speak with my parent through your parent which is a normal way.  She was very friendly and she admires me so many times that I afraid to damage her imagination about me.  Many time I tried to ask her if I can have any hope or possibilities to have her as my wife.  But I could not do it. I thought that show selfishness. I was trained in a very old fashioned way. Be firm and cold.  The people say Ashcan is such a serious man, that he even danced with a girl together and chip to chip.  The society makes from a young man with twenty six, an old serious man who is like a seventy years old man. And I acted like really like an old conservative person.  May be in the time that she told me; that you are so nice and so good and so friendly, I had to huge her and kiss her month. But tradition not let me do that; may be even Shahrzad expected me to act this and kiss her, but I did not do it.  

But in reality even I did not hold her hand in mine; I was deep in love with her.  I loved her very much and to imagine being one day without her was like a nightmare for me. I could do anything to get her and I was so hard and hot in love with her that I see her everyday even in dreams.  I feel her always in my side. She was spiritually always with me.  I wanted to say loud to her Shahrzad I love you, but I afraid she get upset and leave me. I thought she did not decide to have me as a husband. Even one day without her was for me like hell. We started to see each other almost one year ago and we went together with Shirin the movie The Trap and now I was completely in her Love Trap and could not move and come out.  I could not speak even about my love to her and concerning my willingness to do everything to make her happier.  We saw together all Tehran and around Tehran. All museums, all nice places, all parks, all movie theaters, all operas and all of our friends saw us always together.  We saw all the places from the Shush in the deep South of Tehran , rail way station, old Bazaar,  to the North cities of Tehran and all their sightseeing and nice libraries. We were like two doves that are always together.  Shahrzad was nice to him and he thought that she will soon or late chose he for the marriage proposes.  He thought she is spiritually his. 

One day Ashcan called me and invited me to be with them for the lunch. I have found a nice work and wanted to invite Ashcan for lunch or dinner also.  It was my term to invite him, as I had a new good paying job. First I told him, come in my house and my mother will prepare a nice food for all of us. But Shahrzad has said that she does not want to disturb the mother and she prefers to meet me in a restaurant near Tajrish.  I went to the restaurant and saw that Shahrzad with Ashcan have a nice place close to the window and reserved a chair also for me. Ashcan had no time to change his uniform and sat with his uniform with her, she had a very nice dress and we sat all together and speak about every thing.  They looked to each other with love and unity and I thought they are very deep involved to each other. I could not even imagine that one day they could bear not to be with each other. Shahrzad had a very white nice long dress may be she brought it from the very expensive Parisian boutique and had a lot of nice pearls and brilliants  in her neck , her hand , ear and her feet.  She even not chose any gold color materials, only white gold and pearls with brilliant have been used. Even her shoes were white. Like Snow white full of white and white colorless shining of real pearls and brilliants. 

It was one of the best times of my life and very sweet day for me. I liked Ashcan very much. We were with each other from the fourth grade of elementary school with each other. We went to an elementary school named Kakh which means palace; it was in Sasan Street. Later in six grad we went both to other school.  We saw after we finished the school each other every other week.  My friend was now a doctor and he found a nice friend, closed friend for the life also. A real lady who was nice friendly, speak good and had a lot of knowledge in her mind.  She was not only a beautiful dull.  I was very happy to see two nice persons and with a nice bodies and nice faces academic and talented. Both of them were very intelligent. 

Shahrzad was very friendly to me also and spoke with me a lot. She started to say that we are in the same line.  Ashcan and I finished together the high school. He passed in the same year the entry exam for the medicine; I could not pass as my English language was poor.  So as he was in the medical school as student, I was learning English to pass for the next exam.  After one year that I learned English I could pass the entry exam for the university, but as I worked for English a lot and I have forgotten the science subject, so I could have enough credit to be accepted in the Language section, which in reality were my worst subjects.  So in the time that he finished the university, I was still student in the MA degree program.  But as I finished the school I had a good job as a translator.  Any way I could not study in my good subjects. I had in biology, chemistry and physic A or in Persian between 19, 18 and 20, but in English I was D or between 9, 8 and 7.  And I got my degree in my worst subject. So Shahrzad told me as I have a degree like her in European language so we can work together also later.  That day was a very nice day for me.  To be with nice and intellectual people and speak about good things.  And discussed about world politics and so.  I was very happy that I have such nice friends. 

We remembered us the time that we went to the Kakh School and read about Korush and Daryush, and other materials. In the way back home we spoke with each other about the life and we played volley ball with other friends we had.  Parsapoor was a good student also. I think his father was a colonel.   I do not remember his first name. Now after sixteen years we sit together with a lady in white.   I was so happy that my friend could find such a great treasure for himself.   That day has gone very fast, later much time Ashcan or even Shahrzad called me and we went together many times out of city and had a nice time. So many times we had also dinner in Shahrzad house, my house and Ashcan’ house.

The other boy was I think Mir Fakhrai who was also very good student in our class.  We played in a team with other boys together.  Mir Fakhraie was a good boy, very polite and very friendly. But after the school; I had contacts only with Ashcan. The time passed very quickly and I was waiting to be invited in their wedding party. So I thought I can get one of her friend also as my future wife.  We were not young any more, so it was the time that we should be married. 

One day Ashcan called me; I thought he will invite me for the wedding party.  I think they were about over one year every day together.   He said he wants to come to see me. I thought he will come with Shahrzad as they were never being separated from each other.  But as he rang and I opened the door, he was alone.  I told him, where is Shahrzad?  He laughed bitterly and said, let me come in than I will say the story.  He said, she is upset with me.  May be you can speak with her and try to solve the problem.  Ashcan continued that every day after his work, he went with the uniform to her house and from there they make a program for the rest of the day.  He did not even come to his house to change his uniform. As you are in the civil clothes more comfortable than in the uniform. You have to salute and be careful walk properly and be in a sharp discipline.  And she waited also every day for me. She prepared with love a snake and after a short rest, we continued the rest of the day until late night together.  After that I brought her to her house and drive to my house and so I counted the minutes until next day that I could see her. 

One day my work in the hospital was very serious and I could not come like other days. It was a lot of work and they did not let me to got and call her by telephone.  And telephone was not near, too.  You know that army work especially in an army hospital is very serious and you can just leave.  The discipline is hard.  And Shahrzad the daughter of a rich merchant could not even understand this.  So I went two hours later to her house or may be three hours later, as the traffic was heavy and jam, too. I rang the bell of their FF and she took the receiver and I said salaam Shahrzad that is me Ashcan.   I am very sorry that I came late; it is an army office and they are more disciplined than civil places.  She said very cold what do you want?  So go to your important work and continue to work there.  Go away and be happy.  May be she did not believe me and she did not trust me.   May be she thought I was with other nice girl and could not disturb her and call Shahrzad.  Sorrowfully she cut the line and did not let me in to explain the situation. 

He was almost crying and was very upset.  I said Ashcan, my dear this rich girl is very spoiled and they expect a lot. They cannot think that we need to work and you as an army officer cannot do what ever you want. They are too comfortable and cannot bear any difficulties.  They think the whole world should work for them.  May be she wanted even play with you.  And showed you she like you very much and after a while cut with you and have a fun.  May be the whole thing was just a play or with such a small excuse, she should not cut.  She wanted to make you as a big lover and than let you go and see what will happen.  But he said Amir, please try and do your best. Shahrzad like you, too and always said to me keep Amir as a friend for ever, he is a good man, and he is no jealous and not greedy.  He is opened minded and is a very good friend.  Try to contact her and try to bring her back to me.  I said I will do this work for you, but think for a very rich girl like her to live with you; it is not easy too. You will have a lot of problems.  She had everything as a child and she is used to a very luxury life, we cannot offer a luxury life for our wives.  Be realistic, it is very hard to have a super rich girl happy. You see that is the beginning.  They do not understand the difficult life we have; we have to work to pay our bills, she works for fun.  The whole money that she gets from her job, she spends one day.   You know that Ashcan.  May be she had no problem in her whole life, and now to marry with a man like you from middle class family.   She will later only command you and nothing is important for her.  What ever you have and you bring in the house is cheap for her.  You see each dress that she has costs thousand of dollars, all these brilliant and pearls.  Who can pay for all of this luxury? 

You did not do anything wrong, only in a military base you could not come without the permission of your colonel. And she cannot even understand this.  But other think was this, Shahrzad know that Ashcan is a handsome man, with a high degree in MD and had good future.  So always many girls love to be with him. And he can have enough money later, too.  So she thought he can have easily a girl friend later, when she is older. As they were in the same age. So later if the Shahrzad is fourty old woman, Ashcan is in his best year. And the women will go after him and will get him. I do not that was only a guess I did. I was not in her mind and I do not know what she really thought.  Do you think that the cut was really for the two hours delay after one year to be punctual?  Or other problems were going parallel with this excuse?  But for me Shahrzad was very cruel to him. First she made him so in love with herself and after all those nice time, she cut so fast and so with cruelty their connections. 

I called many time Shahrzad‘s house and many times I have spoken with her mother or brother. They told me indirectly that Shahrzad love him very much, but now she does not want to see him any more and the time is over for her. She does not love him any more. The love is finished.  And in the time that I spoke with her, she said only few short sentences and did not let me to explain the whole situation.  To wait two or three hours for him was a hell for her.  That was a great criminal Ashcan did?  I thought I should try to go to her place and see her there. May be she can speak with me more. But she was even colder as I saw her in the Rudaki Hall.  She told me just hello and has gone fast away, as she is very busy.  I tried very much, but all was in pain, I had no success to see her and to speak with her properly.  One time even tries to drive after her and speak through the window of the car with her, but she saw the other side and ignored me.  She was as cold with me as I have come two or three hours late, too.  But I did not give up, I tried to see in the parties and tried to be close to her and speak to her, but she was cold and hard, just said hello and good by.   As she was in cruse with me, too.  I do not know really the reason. Because she was the same age as Ashcan, and she or the women in the same age are more mature than men. That was the problem. With other words Ashcan was a young boy for her?  Or the differences between their classes were the other problem. Any way after one month trying I called Ashcan and invited him to my house. I told him, there are no possibilities I see that she can come back to you. I did everything and she ignored me very cold. 

Ashcan my dear friend was very up set and angry.  But what can he do. She decided to burn the poor Ashcan; so hard.  He loved her very much and it was difficult for him not to see her. They were more than one year every day together and now, she left him in so much pain.  It was very heavy for him. That was the Shahrzad who took the first steps so fast and make him so in love and now in the same speed, she left him. In the time that they were together, that was Shahrzad who with her womanly way took him in her Love trap and now let him alone.  He was so used to see her, and she cut the relationship.  For me she was very Taft and cruel, but I do not know, other people opinions.   I said to Ashcan do you love her very much. He said more than anything in the world. I love her very much and very deep. I told him if you love her so much you must respect her decision what ever it is. You love her, let her be free and do what ever she wants. You cannot change your love to and egoistic possession for having the beautiful girl for yourself, sometime the love is to let the other side to go and feel free or happy. 

 Ashcan looked at me; I think he agrees that he should let her go; if she does not want him.  I know that is hard for you, but you know what ever we love we cannot keep for ever. If Shahrzad wants to be not with you, respect her idea.  You love should be unconditional and you should love her for herself and not for yourself.  Cut the egoistic side of love then you are happy. 

 Like the parent, they love their children, but they let them go away and forget them.   I do not know if Ashcan did kiss her and hugged her or even give more space to their relationship, Shahrzad could go so easy away?  May be even Shahrzad wanted sexual relationship with him. And he was so pure and traditional that keep quite and did not even try to kiss her lips and touch her sexual points. Any way I could not solve this puzzle, may you have a better Idea.  May you know why Shahrzad left such a nice pure, honest man so easy and with a very funny excuse?  My be you can guess better than me.  May be you women or girls can understand better than me.