I got it! I finally discovered the reason why Iranians are so anti-“West.” Yes you are anti-west--at least 90% of you are. I laid it out last week. Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah, I found out why you people have such irrational hatred for the West. It’s envy. You’re envious little nobodies who so desperately want respect in the world. You yearn for the days when you had empires and ruled the world. It’s easy to tell that it’s envy. Just listen to yourselves. You can barely contain your excitement about having influence in some hellhole like Ghana or Sudan. But at the same time, you criticize the “West” for having influence in a place that someone actually gives a shit about, like Saudi Arabia.
The majority of the Iranian society—inside and outside Iran-- today is a Frankenstein combination of wondering nationalists, uber religio-supremacists, leftover 1960’s and 70’s leftists and conspiracy theory freaks, with a dash of anti-Semitism mixed in—just enough to make themselves believe that pushing the Jews into the sea may actually be a good thing. So, what do they do to compensate for their lack of an empire to brag about? They yell at the biggest empire on the block—the one that they believe has taken their rightful place as the boss of the world: the U.S.!
But you're not going to get respect by climbing embassy walls and taking hikers hostage. So, let me give you a couple of pieces of advice. It will help you in your quest to regain your lost glory.
1. Know your place in the world. And stop it already: you are not the children of Koorosh and Daryush. In fact, if those guys were alive today, they would probably shit their collective pants after seeing what a bunch of Imam Hussain chest beating, embassy wall climbing fanatics you have become. And then they will get on their horses and get as far away from you Islamo-communist freaks as they can.
For the most parts, you are the children of this guy. I hate to break it to you, but your culture for the past 600 years has been the product of Majlesi’s teachings. He created the modern Iranian clusterfuck of Shia culture. Pretty much every social ritual that you go through today is the handy work of this opium smoking, wine drinking (possible little boy fucking?) akhoond. Sorry, but it’s true. So, again, know your place in the world and know who you are.
2. If you want to be an imperialist, you have to start small. Baby steps people- baby steps! The first step to being an imperialist is to be industrious. Americans didn’t get where they are today by reading poetry and beating their chests on Ashura. This is not an “irfani” world. It’s a dog eat dog world. People don’t respect you for your ability to recite poetry. They respect you when they see your aircraft carrier. So now, put down any—or all—of the following items that you may be holding: divan-e-Hafez, sikh-e-kabab, aftabeh, The Communist Manifesto or nahj-ol-balagheh. Did you put it (them) down? Good! Now go grab a hammer and start building something. Build a chair. We can start with a chair and work our way up to one of these.
3. Enough with the afternoon siesta already. To be an imperialist, you need to be alert and work a little bit so that you can do things that I described in number 2. The current imperialists work two jobs and average 8-10 hours a day. They have a half hour lunch break and if they get sick, they take a couple of industrial strength pills and come to work anyway. And they’re lucky if they get one week of vacation a year. You need to do the same. No driving home in the middle of the day for ghormeh sabzi and an afternoon nap. Stay at work and keep building chairs (see number 2 above). And no more month long vacations and trips to Dubai either. One week is enough.
Trust me folks. If you follow my recommendations, you will be an imperialist in no time, and by no time I mean a hundred years or so. Because, let’s be realistic here. It’s going to take a long time to get from this to this.
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i love the picture!
by Fesenjoon2 on Sun Feb 12, 2012 01:13 PM PSTit's so quintessentially contemporary Iranian.
2050
by Veiled Prophet of Khorasan on Wed Feb 01, 2012 06:49 PM PSTHow do you make this stuff up? Just look up derogatory terms and apply them to Iranians? You call Iranians racist then make the most racist post against them. It is like pot calling the kettle.
It sounds to me like you got a thing for Islam. And get angry when people "insult" it. Well if so don't just look at Iranians: we are not the only people. Most of the world is tired of Islam.
By the way how do you to know about pre-Islam Iranian people. The greatest historians do not claim to have the knowledge you boast. Do you have a time machine and go for visits? Why should anyone put you above Professor Frye?
Anonymous Observer,
by Iran 2050 on Wed Feb 01, 2012 06:22 PM PSTAnonymous Observer,
I am on the same page with you. No questions. I am border-line Atheist myself, the difference is I say there is no evidence of a presence of a “god-like” element but at the same time like Bill Maher says, we simply don’t know if there is one or not. The absence of evidence doesn’t mean the evidence of absence. I strongly believe that ALL religions throughout history were 1- an answer to human beings’ question about where we came from 2- was invented by people or groups to control the masses.
At the same token, religion has been used for positive things as well. Some of the nicest and harmless people you meet in your life are devoted Muslims, and Christians, and Jews and Hindus..and the list goes on. Look at the U.S. Many people turn around their life by resorting to religion. As result, people’s religious beliefs should be respected in a democratic and free society.
The problem is that many Iranians are bigots and intolerants when it comes to other people’s beliefs and race and religion and ethnicity. In addition to Iranians always been super religious, even in the pre-Islamic days, Iranians have always been imperialists and racists. That’s a very bad combination. That’s why Iran has been a global issue. For 2500 years now, Iran wants to dominate the world. That needs to STOP, NOW.
Many Iranian bigot look at Islam (And not even true Islam, but some made-up crap by the Akhoonds) as EVIL and the problem with Iran, not religiousness and not bigotry. So they make idiotic and intolerant statements such as “We need to remove Islam from Iran” and things of that nature. In a democratic society, NO ONE has the right to “REMOVE” any idea or ideology. That can’t even be done, frankly. They want to replace Islam with Zoroastrianism because they say Islam is evil!
That’s the problem.
Dear Ao and VPK jan
by Anahid Hojjati on Wed Feb 01, 2012 08:54 AM PSTIran under IRI is stuck in centuries ago in many ways but then I am not sure telling them to build chairs, is to save them from problems they have. So if a poet writes against stoning, don't you think that is more important for Iranian society than building more chairs? problem is not with poetry in Iran. Problem is with any science, art, activity in Iran or any other oppressed country which serves the oppressors.
thanks VPK jan. Yes, have passion, will ...Fill in the blanks according to your passion.
Dear Anahid
by Veiled Prophet of Khorasan on Wed Feb 01, 2012 08:45 AM PSTI have poets; engineers; professors; painters; and entrepreneurs in my family. There are some who got a "day job" and do art for hobby. My mother wrote a book once she retired. What matters depends on your passion.
Not on what anybody tells you because it is your decision. The only thing that I told my kids was: do it right or don't do it at all. If you want to be a poet then be a good one. Same for anything else. And you are the best judge of how good you are!
It is not my job to tell others what to do. It is not their jobs to tell me. Yes we have a rule of supply and demand. If a profession is not in need you won't find jobs in it. So fewer people go in it. When I was in college I wanted to study "Theoretical Physics". I took a lot of graduate courses in it but reality forced me to go in a different path. Reality has a much stronger impact than anything other people might say. Good luck and my best wishes to you. By all means pursue your passion and shine on ...
Dear Anahid
by Anonymous Observer on Wed Feb 01, 2012 08:49 AM PSTPerhaps I'm advocating ideas that belong in the past few decades (or even centuries) because that's where the Iranian society is stuck! I mean, where else on this planet you have a country that: 1) is being ruled by a theocracy, 2) hangs and stones people in public? Those are things that happened centuries ago in modern industrious societies. So, in that sense, we are still stuck in those times.
Not that any of his has anything to do with poetry, but we are a backward people nontheless. And we need to come to terms with it.
Dear AO
by Anahid Hojjati on Wed Feb 01, 2012 08:37 AM PSTRead what you have written once again. Yes being industrious is good. I bet I have done a lot more than you for progress of science and technology. So I am not against science and technology. I even decided aginst studying iterature and i studied engineering. However, just being happy to build a chair so someday you can build spaceships. You are advocating idaes that belonged to tens of years ago. People can build chairs and write poetry. Also when building chairs, they have to ask themselves what that chair will be used for? will it be an electric chair for execution or a chair for a scientist to sit on or a dining chair?
Advocating mindless building of items without putting thoughts into it and not doing poetry because it will prevent you from mindless execise of muscles to build a chair, this is so 18th century. Go ahead my friend. Advocate this all you want but you take no prize in that.
Responses to others
by Anonymous Observer on Wed Feb 01, 2012 08:27 AM PSTKazem, AI, Simorgh, VPK and Maryam: Thanks for your thoughts, contributions and comments.
RG Jaan: Isn't that the biggest f**king mystery? The first destination of choice for these Neanderthals is the U.S. They give their left testicles for a visa to come here. What a bunch of ....
Anahid Jaan - now you're being paranoid
by Anonymous Observer on Wed Feb 01, 2012 08:25 AM PSTHow can I possibly have anything sinister about poetry?!!! I'm not anti-poetry. I'm anti using potery as the cornerstone of our existence, which we tend to do. That's all.
More responses
by Anonymous Observer on Wed Feb 01, 2012 08:23 AM PSTIran2050: I am an atheist. I really believe that religions--all of them--are causes of many of ills that plague the human race. But that's just my opinion. I cuold be wrong. Many people believe that religion gives them peace and helps them confront difficulties. if that's the case, good for them. Who am I to tell them otherwise?
As for Iranians, I think that our problem is that we are fanatical about relgion. We see the whole world through that prism. And that's a much bigger problem than religion itself. Example: our worldview is shaped around the "Hossein mazloom" ideology. We always look at ourselves as Hossein who is battling some evil (in this case, the "West"). And as long as we have this worldview, we will never go anywhere.
MRX1: Dude, if it wasn't for Shah, Iran would be another Afghanistan. Shah's White Revolution changed Iran's economy from being an Afghanistan like "Khan" landowner society into a modern agricultural economy. Even at that time, Khan hired paid mullahs badmouthed the Shah for the reforms. And some morons still badmouth the poor guy for those reforms. Khalayegh har cheh layegh!
2050
by Veiled Prophet of Khorasan on Wed Feb 01, 2012 08:16 AM PSTWhen did I say there are not different versions of Islam? Anyone knows there is Sunni; Shia; Sufi and other variants. Don't you put words in my mouth. You don't pay attention to people and make statements with no basis.
Obviously there are different version. Within Sunni there is Wahabi and other sects. Within Shia there are different "Marja" who go from liberal to conservative: duh! You post is yet another illustration of talking without knowing.
Dear AO
by Anahid Hojjati on Wed Feb 01, 2012 08:01 AM PSTthanks for writing that you read and enjoy my poetry. No profession should take itself seriously. However, I am worried about Big Brother type mentality. I don't like people going around telling others what they should focus on or not. Besides people are different. even same person could be different at different stages of life. For almost two decades i probably did not write one poem. But why someone keep telling me what I should spend time on? besides do you tell a tree not to provide a shade? Do you tell sun not to shine? so why do you tell a poet not to write poetry? it is in her/his nature and attempts like yours make me think there is something less honest behind your bashing poetry. Some sinister plan. I am sorry, this is that conspiracy theory at work. we iranians are good at poetry and now people are telling us nt to do it. Something weird. You may come from total different place but admit that some people might look at your anti poetry attempts differently.
A few responses
by Anonymous Observer on Wed Feb 01, 2012 08:06 AM PSTSorry for the delay in responding to comments folks. But I've been busy building chairs. I built a whole dining room set. :-)
Faramarz: correct. As much as we ridicule the Persian Gulf Arabs for being too reliant on oil, we are really not that differenet. Aside from Turkey, what about Sweden? What do they have? How about the Swiss? Have you seen a Swedish child selling flowers and gum on the streets? The bottom line is that our culture is the problem, not "imperialists."
Anahdi jaan: here's what I think: I believe that no profession, political ideology or nation should take itself too seriously. Poets, doctors, lawyers, engineers, police officers, pyschologists and even animal behavior specialists should be made fun of. BTW, do you know any good animal behavior specialist jokes? :-)
The problem with poetry in our culture is that we take it too seriously, and we put too much value on it. I like poetry. I read and enjoy your poetry all the time, I also enjoy Hafez, Saadi, Ferdowsi and many others' poetry. But unlike some of our countrymen and women I do not elevate poetry to one of the cornerstones of my existence. I look at it as a form of art. I also do not believe that poets have more wisdom than the average person--which again, happens to be the prevailing point of view in our culture.
VPK, It’s ironic and
by Iran 2050 on Wed Feb 01, 2012 07:29 AM PSTVPK,
It’s ironic and hypocritical on your part to admit there are different versions of Zoroastrianism and Christianity but not Islam! And then claim some of things some people do in the name of Islam as “true Islam”!!!!
Just an illustration on where your logic, or lack there of, fall!
One word
by Dr. Mohandes on Wed Feb 01, 2012 06:36 AM PSTI guess Possessing a "pizieh farakh" on the part of some of our Hamvatans Can lead to disasterous consequences.
Salute AO!
Anti; pro West
by Veiled Prophet of Khorasan on Wed Feb 01, 2012 04:39 AM PSTThe whole thing about anti or pro West is very simple minded. First of all there is no single "West" to be anti or pro. Next "West" is a combination of lots of nations and people. Some did good things some did not so good.
What does it mean to be pro or anti West? Individual actions matter not some amorphous "West". It is like saying I am against "men" or "women". There is too much generalization not just about West. But about many things and it makes things meaningless.
AO, Great Issue to bring to our attention
by Maryam Hojjat on Wed Feb 01, 2012 03:58 AM PSTIranians anti-West do not realize that it was the West who discovered Persian civilization through archialogy & excavation of ancient sites which never crossed Iranians' minds.
A few things
by Veiled Prophet of Khorasan on Wed Feb 01, 2012 01:56 AM PSTپندار نیک جون
Roozbeh_GilaniTue Jan 31, 2012 11:02 PM PST
حالا تو چرا عصبانی شودی؟ تو که گرین کاردت رو، اونم از نوع انگلیسی گرفتی عزیز. سلام ما رو هم به اون زنیکه خله برسون..
helping 'scums' getting green card= collective interest
by مآمور on Tue Jan 31, 2012 09:46 PM PSTسفر ایران میروید دنبال کارهای شخصی هم هستید؟؟ مثلأ سری به باغ چای یا برنج؟؟ املاک مورثی؟ همین کارهای بقول خودتان personal businessوآیا این کثافتها را در حین رتق و فتق امور (در شهرداری اداره مالیات!!!!) ملاقت میکنید ؟؟؟
I wear an Omega watch
A lot of work
by MRX1 on Tue Jan 31, 2012 06:34 PM PSTnice piece (I enjoyed it) but you actualy want people to go and build some thing like a chair when all they have to do is to pump oil out of the ground and buy all the chairs they want from the chinese.
Frankly with the level of lazyness that persists over there I am shocked about the level of progress that was achieved by Great Reza shah and his son. once can only wonder without them what the place would have looked like.....
the old "islamo-communist" neanderthal in the middle...
by Roozbeh_Gilani on Tue Jan 31, 2012 04:29 PM PSTof the crazed chest beating crowd, would give it all up for a green card and a "good life in US". Believe me when I say this, as I meet these scums on every trip to Iran, and it is amazing how these animals immediately start asking me about "how much it'd cost to get a green card" the moment they find out I am visiting home from US!!!!
Good one AO!
"Personal business must yield to collective interest."
AO, you should read this blog of mine
by Anahid Hojjati on Tue Jan 31, 2012 03:53 PM PSTit would do you good.
//iranian.com/main/blog/anahid-hojjati/poems-jokes-names-what-will-be-next-mulla-nasreddins-stories
2050
by Veiled Prophet of Khorasan on Tue Jan 31, 2012 01:48 PM PSTI am very familiar with the relation between Shia and Sassanid Zoroastrianism. You do not have to explain it to me. I have read a great deal on all these topic. What I wanted and you side stepped was how much do you know.
Zoroastrianism has been around for at least 3000 years maybe longer. It had many different variations and Sassanids took one and made it "official". Very much as Catholics or Orthodox Christians did. When you say Zoroastrian I think you mean the Sassanid version; right? My point is that is just one of many variations. Then after Islam it got more changed. Because Muslims didn't allow leaving Islam Zoroastrians got reluctant to accept new people. They became more insular and protective of themselves.
Regarding my "problem": who are you to diagnose my problem. Maybe I find your logic to be flawed. You make generalizations about "Iranian" people. That is laughable and I use your posts as examples of how not to reason. You do not know me but go ahead and tell me what I am. Just as you tell Iranians what they are. Sir, I rather pay attention to people who know me than a stranger on IC got it.
VPK, I don’t know how
by Iran 2050 on Tue Jan 31, 2012 01:01 PM PSTVPK,
I don’t know how many more times am I supposed to explain the Shia – Zoroastrian relation to you, but OK, no worries, I’ll do it again for the hundredth time.
The concept of Vali Faghih which says power legitimacy comes from god is Zoroastrian (Kings receive Farah Izadi from Ahura Mazda), the concept of a “savior” coming and save the world is Zoroastrian and Christian (Soshians in Zoroastrianism), the concept of mourning for Imam Hussein is in fact a copy of Sowashoon in Zoroastrianism…and those are the bases of Shia religion. The list of similarities goes on and on.
Your problem is that you do not want to accept reason and logic. Everyone who says something meaningful and logical on this site has an issue with you. Have you ever asked yourself maybe I’m wrong instead of fighting other people’s logical arguments? It’s OK to admit sometimes that one is wrong. It’s a learning process.
Excellent AO!
by Artificial Intelligence on Tue Jan 31, 2012 12:40 PM PSTYou captured it! Our society/culture today can not compete with West because of all your great points. There must be a fundamental change in our culture if we want to be "imperialists".
Excellent AO!
by Artificial Intelligence on Tue Jan 31, 2012 12:40 PM PSTYou captured it! Our society/culture today can not compete with West because of all your great points. There must be a fundamental change in our culture if we want to be "imperialists".
AO
by Simorgh5555 on Tue Jan 31, 2012 12:29 PM PSTBy and large accurate and very funny
Dear VPK, I share your concern
by Anahid Hojjati on Tue Jan 31, 2012 10:34 AM PSTSome use of Arabic words has been common in Persian poetry but I am against too much use of it. When I mentioned dictonary, I did not mean Arabic to Persian dictionary but Persian dictionary. Many words that one encounters in Persian poetry and are not as common; at least for those of us in Diaspora, are not Arabic. However, an unfortunate trend in Farsi poetry and literature in general after 1979 is that Arabic is used more in Persian literature but then they insist to lower use of English words. I am against this and I say that level of use of arabic in Persian language should be held to pre 1979 levels or less.
Even pre 1979 some poets used more Arabic in their poems. I guess then it is a matter of personal preference. But many of the popular Iranian poets in 20th century used a language for their poems which did not have too much Arabic and the Farsi was not so difficult either. I am talking about Forough Farrokhzad, Fereidoon Moshiri, Siavash Kasraii, and many others.
Anahid Jan
by Veiled Prophet of Khorasan on Tue Jan 31, 2012 10:23 AM PSTIn this post I am just going to talk about poetry. The rest I will not even bother with. I am not a poet but like most Iranians appreciate its value. My problem is with "difficult words". But only when they are obscure; in unknown tongues.
Recently I read a poem named "Darakhte Asurigh". This is from days of Parthians. Now when I have an easier time with that than some recent poems it is odd. Why: because some post Islam poets use so much Arabic it might as well be Arabic.
I do not have a problem with common words like "fekr" or "harf". But using never heard of words makes it hard. And no I do not hate Arabs. I don't want to conquer Arabia. I just want to read my poems without an Arabic to Farsi dictionary!