Sic Semper Tyrannis
Science flies you to the moon. Religion flies you into buildings.
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Let's Meet A Half Iranian Genius
10-Nov-2011
Allow me to introduce you to Lady Laleh Bakhtiar, a half Iranian Catholic convert to Islam. Since her conversion, Ms. Bakhtiar has devoted her life to putting lipstick on the pig that is yet another piece of trash Abrahamic religion called Islam. She has taken it upon herself to reinterpret Islam based on what she learned from her master teacher--and Kenney Rogers look alike-- Seyyed Hossein Nasr. She even has a website called The Sublime Quran to which Sublime denies any connection as he does not practice any religion, not even Santeria. She also has a book by the same name that is featured on the site. The book is a lovy dovy translation of the Quran, and is decorated with flowery patterns to calm the reader, and to take away the resulting psychotic urges that arise whenever one reads a violent, blood and gore text such the Quran or the Hebrew Old Testament—kind of like pink paint on the walls of a mental asylum for the criminally insane.
But Ms. Bakhtiar’s most important accomplishment is in the area of bullshit acrobatics, where she has managed to find a way to manipulate the words of the master bullshitter--Prophet Mohamad--himself which direct the faithful to physically hit women who do not obey their husbands, brothers, fathers, uncles, cousins, nephews, sugar daddies, baby daddies, male neighbors or generally, any other male that happens to walk by their homes. Indeed, she has managed, after years of “research” to “discover” that the Quran really doesn’t mean what it says in plain language, and doesn’t say that one needs to beat a woman who doesn’t straighten her act after a “stern” warning. According to Ms. Bakhtiar, what the Quran really says is that one should just “abandon” the woman. That’s right folks—every single Arab Muslim scholar for the past 1400 years has been wrong. They should have all just waited for a half American, half Iranian, American born ex-Catholic woman, who only studied Arabic for three years, to enlighten them about the meaning of the Quran from the comfort of her Chicago office. That should go over really well with these guys.
Upon hearing Ms. Bakhtiar’s interpretation of the Quranic verse, leaders of the Muslim world collectively responded by saying “whatcha talking about crazy woman?” The leaders then made a referral of Ms. Bakhtiar’s case to the Islamic Society of North America (“ISNA”)[1], where that organization’s Canada chief, Mohammad Ashraf, seen here showing the size of his engorged penis[2], issued a declaration saying this about her new translation of the Quran: “[o]ur bookstore would not allow this kind of translation…[T]his woman-friendly translation will be out of line and will not fly too far.” (He actually said that! I’m not making it up. See the link.)
Reactions to Ms. Bakhtiar’s book have been mixed in other parts of the Muslim world. In the UAE, Chief Justice Falah Al Hajeri, the author of this beautifully written, landmark legal opinion said[3] “obviously this half witted woman needs some sense beaten into her by her husband. Does she have a husband?” In response to Justice Al Hajeri’s question, Molana Abu Baker Khan, the head of Afghanistan’s Department of Women’s Affairs, seen here in performance of his official duties, said “we have a brother here who can marry this Zaeefeh. She is a bit old, though. We usually like them younger, around nine-ish younger, but this brother’s legs were shot off by American Marines when he was doing ‘jihad fi sabil allah,’ so his options are limited, and she should do.” In Iran, head of the renowned Hozeyeh Elmiyeh Ghom, Ayatollah Haj Seyyed Chaker Hossein Noor Aabadi commented by saying “I believe this Zaeefeh may have some valid points, but she should nonetheless be stoned to death, as any reinterpretation of the Quran is considered blasphemy under Sharia law. Plus, she’s a woman…I mean…as they say in America: come on.”
Lastly, reached for a comment under an onion cart in a Karachi open air market where she had blown herself up the day before, the severed head of a female suicide bomber stated “Ms. Bakhtiar is correct. As a Muslim woman, I have all the rights of my male brothers. Even though I only count as a half witness and secondary to my son and my brother in law for inheritance purposes, just like any brother, I can be ordered to blow myself up in a crowded market by any great Muslim leader such as brother Osama Bin Laden, brother Hassan Nasrollah, brother Ali Khamenei or brother Khaled Mashaal. They can order me anytime from their home or office after they finish their ample lunch.” She then added “is it cold in here? I feel a bit chilly from neck down.”
Ms. Bakhtiar’s next book is entitled ‘The Earth IS Flat.’ It will be in bookstores in March, 2012.[4]
[1] No such “referral.”
[2] Not really showing the size of his penis. :-)
[3] Fake quote. Real legal opinion though. Check out the link.
[4] Not true. No such book.
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A view from brother Salman
by salman farsi on Sat Nov 12, 2011 02:01 AM PSTSister Laleh's efforts to offer a female-friendly interpretation of Islam is misinterpreted by the Islam-bashers in residence of Iranian.com. Sister Bakhtyar (formerly Ardalan) may be giving an unorthodox and perhaps I should say somewhat nonscholarly interpretation of Islam but she is within her rights to do so. Our Islamophobic opportunists like AO and our Bahaii friend, Truthseeker ( exposed by my late friend Freethought) use this opportunity to advertize their baseless and historically inaccurate utterances.
Sister Laleh may be inaccurate but that is outside the sphere of education of AO and TS9 to comment about.
For an Islamic democracy
Raoul1955
by Anti-War111 on Sat Nov 12, 2011 01:44 AM PSTYou are an American on an Iranian site congratulating another Iranian for defaming an Iranian as well as propagating Islamophic hate-speech. You are one dubious individual all around. Which US government agency or Neo-Con think-tank do you answer to?
As for Anonymous Observer, it appears he has fantasies of being the Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly or Sean Hannity of IC.
AO
by Raoul1955 on Fri Nov 11, 2011 05:30 PM PSTI LOVE your humor. So funny and so beautifully written. I just wonder how you found all those photos.
You must be a professional comedian!
.
by Tiger Lily on Sat Nov 12, 2011 11:47 AM PST.
VPK
by Tiger Lily on Fri Nov 11, 2011 04:19 PM PSTOne, just one of the reasons dcitonaries are updated is because they record differences in usage.
So AGAIN, look up what the word 'fatwa'. Also the look up the word 'means'.
As for her book. The one on Sufism was a huge bestseller in 1976 (as I remember being told) and revised several times later. As I've said before, it's a very good introduction to Sufism and and excellent resource to understanding the basics to Classical Persian literature, architectecture, music et al.
It's our heritage and yes, quite right, may be she is the one to reform and reform, breaking right out of the 'circle of knowledge'.
I don't know her, but it is quite apparent to me that her motives are in no way , anything other than benign.
I'm sure you can get a copy at your local library.
Dear Tiger & Rea
by Veiled Prophet of Khorasan on Fri Nov 11, 2011 04:01 PM PSTI don't need to look up Fatwa; I have seen how it is applied. A dictionary meaning has no value. What matters is how people use it. Not what some academic writes in a book. Fatwa is an instrument of terror without a doubt.
As for selling her book good for her. I may even get one myself. It gets pretty decent Amazon reviews. A few complaints by on the whole I gather people liked it.
Maybe she will be the one to start a reform of Islam and why not.
Fatwa
by Tiger Lily on Fri Nov 11, 2011 03:31 PM PSTNow all go and look up the meaning the word.
I'm hoping that you can manage an online dictionary.
Btw Rea, thanks for taking a broad view. Sticks out a mile amongst regurgitaed debris. Thanks.
Re: Fatwa
by Veiled Prophet of Khorasan on Fri Nov 11, 2011 03:14 PM PSTI am also surprised pleasantly and hope none is issued.
Actually Rea, I am quite surprised
by Anonymous Observer on Fri Nov 11, 2011 02:51 PM PSTthat she doesn't have a fatwa against her yet!
VPK, AO
by Rea on Fri Nov 11, 2011 12:49 PM PST"How the fickle wind blows ... :)"
by Roozbeh_Gilani on Fri Nov 11, 2011 12:25 PM PSTWell indeed you are right truthseeker9. It almost makes me feel write a blog about that ex Tudeh party member aunt of mine, turned Haji khanoom in her 60's......
"Personal business must yield to collective interest."
;)
by Truthseeker9 on Fri Nov 11, 2011 12:24 PM PSTcomment!
Don't make it the last comment my friend TS-9!!!
by Anonymous Observer on Fri Nov 11, 2011 12:15 PM PSTKeep commenting my friend. Always enjoy your contributions. Forget about the psycho who wrote the weird blog. That's a cyber terrorist threat if you ask me. She is threatning a cyber attack on a site and threatning to bring it down because of ideological reasons. That's just terrorism and it should be dealt with accordingly. If I were JJ, I would immediately get her IP address and report her to the FBI.
On Sufis, I'm sure you know that they are also the victims of IR. They have been harassed and in some instances banned from practicing their beliefs. That gives them even more credibility.
AO jaan
by Truthseeker9 on Fri Nov 11, 2011 12:06 PM PSTI never commented about the subject of the blog, she has a right to her beliefs. It was more the irony that despite people practicig religion or "meditation", they still forget what it is for - to make you a better person, less aggressive, etc, not just to make themselves feel better. Seldom do I see kindness from such people towards anybody except those that agree with their views.
The other one has returned and writing weird blogs ... some say threatening. You go figure, why these people practice a religion or meditate! :)
Always enjoy your blogs, this was not about you at all. Apologies for spamming Your blog, last comment ...
Dear Rea
by Anonymous Observer on Fri Nov 11, 2011 11:58 AM PSTRead my comment below to TS-9. I think that what she's doing is kind of disingenuos. She's well meaning, but in reality she's doing more harm than good.
TS-9 Jaan
by Anonymous Observer on Fri Nov 11, 2011 12:01 PM PSTI can't speak for anyone else, but if you look at the bottom of the comments before it was discovered that she's JJ's aunt, I did mention that I believe that she's well meaning. I do stand by my blog and everything that I said in it. I believe that she is being disingenuous in her "research." I think, as I also said below, that phrases such as the one in the Quran that she focuses on, should not be sugar coated. I believe that they can be explained away by saying that they were designed for a different time and different culture. So, what she is doing will actually cause more harm than good.
In terms of Sufism, I am for anything that softens the violent nature of all three Abrahamic religions. Sufism in my opinion is meditation. I haven't read anything by Ms. Bakhtiar on Sufism. But in general, I don't mind it much. For the record, I do not mind people practicing any religion so long as they don't use it as a tool to hurt or oppress others. It's part of my belief in personal freedom and freedom of thought and speech. So long as you read your Quran, Bible or Torah, but don't try to rule my country as a theocracy, suicide bomb me, shoot an abortion doctor or tell others that God gave you real estate 6000 years ago, I frankly don't give a f**k what you do in your private time. You can worship a rock as far as I'm concerned. I am against the notion of religion, not people who practice religion in peace. But all of that is just my opinion. People are free to disagree with me.
Thanks again for your comments my friend.
Dear Rea
by Veiled Prophet of Khorasan on Fri Nov 11, 2011 11:38 AM PSTShe'd translated 1000 pages from a language that is not her own. For the sheer size of it, I say chapeau to her.
What is the point of her doing this? There is a general belief that Quoran should not be translated because it loses its meaning. As you know I am not a Muslim but I know a fair bit about Islam. This will not get very far.
To add she is interpreting Quoran which is highly subjective. The job is left to "experts" who have devoted their lives to learning about Islam. So you would see how Islamic scholars would refuse to take her seriously. Imagine me writing a book on Shakespeare. And expecting English professors to use it as a text. I will never be taken seriously. Now add to it the fact that she is a woman. Based on Islamic rule a womans mind is half that of a man. Do you think they will accept her.
Well I don't mind Sufism or or worshipping trees if u want
by Truthseeker9 on Fri Nov 11, 2011 11:41 AM PSTMy comment was directed at one or two people who are famous for being aggressive and rude towards other people on this site, then claim to be part of a "healing" tradition. I'm for freedom of choice, this was more personal as they are disrespectful to other peoples beliefs and spam their blogs, while whitewashing Islam. Outside of this site I have friends of many religions, and it seldom that religion even comes up as they are respectful people.
Anyway, the tone of this blog has really changed since it was discovered the subject is related to JJ. Now she's gettig the lovliest comments!
How the fickle wind blows ... :)
Rather impressive
by Rea on Fri Nov 11, 2011 11:09 AM PSTShe'd translated 1000 pages from a language that is not her own. For the sheer size of it, I say chapeau to her.
As for trying a new interpretaion of the 1400 years old writings, why not ? It takes courage and imagination, she obviously has both.
Personally hope that when I get into my late 60s, I'll still have a spark or two left in me. As this lady does.
Fesenjoon, Samsam, COP & Anahid
by Anonymous Observer on Fri Nov 11, 2011 11:13 AM PSTFesenjoon: dude, you should do a blog about the workings of the IR's propaganda aparatus since you worked for them and know how they operate. And as far as Nasr, yes, it is ironic. In our days, radicalized Islam has become the authority - not necessary the norm, but the authority. That's what people like Nasr are faced with thses days.
Samsam: Happy Veterans Day to you too bro. More importantly, happy V-Day to my cousin who is serving in Afghanistan and to my other cousin who used to be a Marine. Although she doesn't like the term "used to be." She always reminds us: "once a Marine, always a Marine."
COP: It's devotion dude. It causes people to all kinds of things to justify what they are devoted to.
Anahid: I had no idea she was his aunt. I wouldn't have "peeleh" with her had I known. Although it's a good thing that I cleaned up the first draft of the blog, even though I still talk about her being married to a Taliban in this one!
RG and VPK - Thank you for the compliments on the blog
by Anonymous Observer on Fri Nov 11, 2011 10:45 AM PSTI'm just glad that I didn't publich its earlier draft. If I had, JJ would have definitely blocked me for saying "namoosi" things to his aunt!! I'm glad I cleaned it up!
JK & Tavana
by Anonymous Observer on Fri Nov 11, 2011 10:43 AM PSTJK - You bring up a couple of good points. I do not believe that failure of modernization was the fault of the "higher classes." If anything, the "higher class" under Shah tried to modernize to quickly. It's actually the opposite. The ecclesiastical class of the Iranian society was (and is) the one that was (and has always been) against cultural modernization of the society, especially modernization of the lower classes, as that is their base of support and they want to keep thm in check through superstition and attachment to the mosque.
Tavana - I like your comments dude. You have your points and you make them politely and are done with it. I actually enjoy reading them. Keep them coming.
AO is not going to get blocked
by Veiled Prophet of Khorasan on Fri Nov 11, 2011 09:13 AM PSTIf it happens I predict many blogs in his support. For all our differences I respect his tireless work to return banned people. A good act begets another act. If he is banned I will be among those demanding his return.
JJ's auntie
by anglophile on Fri Nov 11, 2011 08:54 AM PSTWatch out boys if you say somethjing silly about JJ's aunt (Ms Bakhtiyar) you may be blocked :))
Ao ;)
by Tiger Lily on Fri Nov 11, 2011 09:41 AM PSTDid think I'd better step in fast! ;)
My interest in that branch is its enormous influences in the creative parts of Iranian culture rather than political; anything from Classical Persian literature and music, which are virtually impossible to understand without it, to patterns in mirrorwork. Some of its structures also serve in Bahaism and are exactly the same or very similar to their counterparts in Hinduism.(Her book doesn't touch on those, but as I said before, concentrates on Iran)
And yes, they do meditate, as well as dance, chant (depending on which sect) etc., and are therefore in quite a few Islamic countries banned and meet in clandestine conditions of fear, even today.
And I fully agree with your statement about religions/cults. It's when they impose it on me, cause harm, demand privileges and reverance etc, that's when I go Ewwwwwwwaaaaawwww!
'Will visit your link and no doubt have a good chuckle.
TL - I really don't mind sufism as much
by Anonymous Observer on Fri Nov 11, 2011 08:13 AM PSTI view it more as a type of meditation than religious practice. I mean, you can chant Ali instead of another mantra. But I believe it to be the same.
I also do not mind people practicing a religion. After all, how is that any of my business? People are free to do whatever they want, so long as they don't impose it on me. At the same time, I am free to make fun of them. I actually think that everyone should be made fun of so that they don't take themselves too seriously. I am surprised that no one is making fun of atheists like me. So, if you allow me, here's a link to a site with atheist jokes. We deserve it:
//nomorehornets.blogspot.com/2007/05/atheist-jokes.html
PS- thanks for the heads up on JJ's aunt. Wow, didn't know!
Be good!
AO, se shod
by Anahid Hojjati on Fri Nov 11, 2011 08:01 AM PSThala be khale JJ chekar dari?
JJ - Is this really your aunt dude?!!!
by Anonymous Observer on Fri Nov 11, 2011 07:58 AM PSTSorry man...uhhhhh..I didn't mean it....hmmmm...she's a nice lady....
shit, now if this is not asking to be belocked, I don't know what is!
TL
by Truthseeker9 on Fri Nov 11, 2011 08:06 AM PSTI thought you were'nt into any religion or khorafat whatsoever. It's quite interesting that you have admitted an interest in Sufism in particular. :)
Which charts are especially interesting and really quite useful? This is one isn't it?
//www.sufienneagram.com/overview.html
Here are some of her books:
//www.sufienneagram.com/bib.html
Especially love this one
volume 3: Moral Healing Through the Most Beautiful Names
I'll try it on my cat, name Minky isn't good enough.
Very good introduction to Sufism
by Tiger Lily on Fri Nov 11, 2011 05:34 AM PSTI've got an old copy of "Sufi, Expressions of the mystic quest", which serves very well as an introduction to Sufism (with a guidance towards many influences in architecture, literature, music, symbols in the Visual Arts, crafts etc. concentrating on Iran). The numerous charts are especially interesting and really quite useful.
I wouldn't dismiss her outright, just because of whatever else she also says.
Btw, isn't she JJ's aunt?