Hajiagha goes to khastegaree (Episode 8)


by Anonymouse

         Episode 8: Afsoon 


Afsoon and Hajiagha meet online.  (((Text in 3 parentheses means thoughts to him/herself)))

Email exchanges.  One email per line below.  Hajiagha sends only telegraphic messages in his emails.


Hajiagha: Nice foto … good portrait …. abstract ….. how bout  …. meat in person …??

Afsoon: Yeah it may be a good idea to meet each other before going any further.  How about Star Bucks?

Hajiagha:  Star Bucks ok ….. cofee strong ….  dinner ??….   …?  My treet ….


They meet in a Mexican Restaurant.


Hajiagha:  Hello. (((Bingo!! She is NISHE. Just like her photo.  I will be on my best behavior tonight.  Let me reel her in, nice and easy)))

Afsoon:  Hello.  (((What was I thinking?)))

Hajiagha: Waiter! 2 Margarets. (((I am SO going to impress her)))

Afsoon: I like Mexican food. Do you like fajitas? (((What the hell.  It’ll be a free dinner. Maybe Margaritas will make it amusing)))

Hajiagha:  Yes fajitas are the jelez velez ones? (((Think. Think!)))

Afsoon:  That’s right. (((What time is it?)))

Hajiagha:  We’ll order those.  They look fancy.  So what are you doing in Canada? (((Should I ask her about racism?)))

Afsoon: I am a Beautician. (((What do I do? What do YOU do?)))

Hajiagha:  Nice. (((Bah! Bah!)))  So how long you’ve been here? How do you like Canada?

Afsoon:  About 8 years. I am happy here and I going back home in summer for a visit. (((Maybe I should return Amir’s call later)))

Hajiagha:  (((Nashod))) Yes me too.  Canada is nice, no one bothers you here.  I like the fishing and the outdoors.

Afsoon:  So what do you do?  (((Let’s go through the usuals.  Some of these dumb looking nerds are rich)))

Hajiagha:  I am an Architect.  (((Yes I am)))

Afsoon:  Oh that is nice.  (((Hat-man.  You are an Architect and I am Faezeh Rafsanjani)))

Hajiagha:  Yes I became an Architect from Tehran University.  I am now an artist. (((I can imagine having her as my wife.  She IS pretty. I AM the man.  Sex-eee!)))

Afsoon:  Is your fajita good?  (((This fajita IS good)))

Hajiagha:  Yes it reminds me of eating noon panir with lavash noon.  Not bad.  (((I should ask her about cooking)))  Are you a good cook?

Afsoon:  No not really.  I can make a nimroo.  (((I can cook but NOT for you)))

Hajiagha:  I like nimroo (((If you marry me, I can eat nimroos every day.  You just massage me.  Ummmm umm)))

Afsoon:  Do you cook?  (((Can I chow down this fajita in 2 bites?  Would that be un-lady like?  I need to get the hell outa here)))

Hajiagha:  Yes I cook good soups.  (((I will cook for you my love.  Anything you like))) So do you like big weddings or small weddings?  By the way, did you see Ahmadinejad’s son’s wedding photos?

Afsoon:  No I didn’t.  I just remembered, I need to go buy a dress for a concert. (((Damn it! Why did I just say that? Idiot!)))

Hajiagha:  Moin’s concert?  We can go together.  (((Oh goody.  I can show her off.  I’ll impress everyone)))

Afsoon:  Maybe.  (((There goes Moin’s concert.  Glad I didn’t mention Mansour’s)))

Hajiagha:  We can go to another concert.  Which concert are you going to? (((Ghoorboonet beram.  We’ll go anywhere you want, jeegar.  Heck lets plan a cruise)))

Afsoon: I am not sure yet.  I have to talk to my friends.  (((Ok.  Time to say good bye)))

Hajiagha:  We can all go together.  (((Even better.  Me with few hot chicks!  Guys won’t believe it.  This must be my lucky night!)))

Afsoon:  Ok thank you for the dinner.  It was very nice.  I have to go now. (((Zoom Zoom.  Tezol)))

Hajiagha:  Wait a minute.  I like you.  You want a doggie bag? (((Is it possible she didn’t like me? I was nice and told her I liked her. Should I have talked more about bad or good things of Canada? Sucks to Canada.  It always confuses me)))


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I'll try

by Anonymouse on

I'll try to remember his other expressions.  He has been kind of quiet lately. Maybe he is busy.


You know how Seinfeld

by n.zanincanadai on

You know how Seinfeld changed the way we talk? Like "slow talker" "man hands" "double dipper" "can't spare a square" "sponge worthy" Haji agha is doing the same. Every time I read "sucks to canada" I burst out laughing. Please use some more of his expressions. Thanks