Hajiagha goes to khastegaree (Episode 9)


by Anonymouse

         Episode 9: Maryam 

Maryam and Hajiagha meet online.  (((Text in 3 parentheses means thoughts to him/herself)))

Email exchanges.  One email per line below.  Hajiagha sends only telegraphic messages in his emails.


Hajiagha: Ehh …. What do do?  …. you most be ? …. young as  ….? … ?….Vancouver …? …

Maryam: You mean what do I do? I am a Dental Hygienist and yes I live in Vancouver.

Hajiagha: So …. so .... Canada ok? ….  No racism ??….   …?  I remmbers …. no one opotunity … my art work …

Maryam: Doesn’t Iran discriminate against Afghans? Let’s not get into that.  So what about your art work? Are you an artist?

Hajiagha:  Yes staring artist … not money …

Maryam: You mean starving artist?

Hajiagha:  Yes hungry … hehehe … no me ok … good job … not going back Iran … meat in person?

Maryam: I hope you mean meet in person! Yes let’s meet.


They meet in an Indian Restaurant.


Maryam: Hello (((he seems nice)))

Hajiagha: Hello (((she is too simple.  Her dress is like chador namaz)))

Maryam: So shall we sit?

Hajiagha: Yes. Waiter!

Maryam: You look shorter than your photo (((narahat nashe?)))

Hajiagha: Well your hair is shorter than your photo (((I don’t like her.  I want more modern and hip woman, like myself.  She is so simple)))

Maryam: Photos never tell the whole story that is why it is better to meet in person (((short comment bothered him.  Get it together Maryam)))

Hajiagha:  God damn! This curry is hot!! Water, water!!! (((My tongue burnt, what the F***?)))

Maryam: Didn’t you notice the little pepper picture in the menu? (((Chera heyvoon bazi dar miyareh?)))

Hajiagha:  What pepper? (((I wanted to eat fast and get the hell out)))  So you said you are a Jeanne?

Maryam:  Hygienist!! Hehehe. (((his teeth are crooked, but we can fix those)))

Hajiagha:  I don’t like dentists in Canada.  I like them in Tehran University who fixed my tooth. (((How much does she make?)))

Maryam: Our office is ok.  We cater to cowards!! Hehehe (((I should ask him about his job))) So what did you say you do for living?

Hajiagha:  I am not a coward.  I went to the war.  I work in a mall in their security department (((hot hot! What the f*** is this?)))

Maryam:  Oh you went to war?  Interesting. (((maybe with both our salaries we can have a good life together)))

Hajiagha:  Yes I am brave but hate it in Canada with racism and British system of justice.  Children young as 13 selling drugs.  Govt killed 500,000 pigs. (((I am not going to hold back with her)))

Maryam:  Oh? Canada is ok, not that bad (((shorroh shod.  Again with politics.  What is it with these Iranian men talking politics on a date?)))

Hajiagha:  Yes sucks to Canada!  I tell everyone not to come to Canada.  I tell them every day but they still come.  (((Canadaaaaaaa)))

Maryam:  So why you keep doing it?  (((I should ask him about his hobbies)))

Hajiagha:  Hot! Hot! Your food ok?  I am having a dickens of a time with mine. (((Maybe I should stay)))

Maryam: Mine is ok.  So what are you hobbies? (((Bebin che ghesh-ghere-ghee rah andakhte)))

Hajiagha:  I like fishing.  Sun bathing.  Horseback riding (((she is no good)))

Maryam:  Did you learn horseback riding in the war? (((I think I like him)))

Hajiagha:  No the war was in the desert.  Some soldiers used Camels but they were with the Commando units (((Why couldn’t she wear a more sexy dress for me? Ah!)))

Maryam:  That is even more interesting.  Tell me more (((We should go for a walk after dinner)))

Hajiagha:  They offered me the Commando job but I said no because I am an artist (((That woman by the bar looks good)))

Maryam:  Fascinating! So what job in the war did they offer you? (((he is brave and will be able to protect me)))

Hajiagha:  They offered an officer job and I accepted.  (((I should go)))

Maryam:  So how did you do it?  (((brave AND sensitive)))

Hajiagha:  Well, I told them I am a Cartoonist for Gol Agha and they offered me the job right there and then in the desert (((this is not bad.  I keep feeding her gibberish and she eats them line, sinker and hook)))

Maryam:  A cartoonist.  You are an interesting man.  (((brave, sensitive AND funny)))

Hajiagha: Cartoon is my first passion.  Anyway, I got to go. They called and asked me to go to the mall for work tonight (((bye bye)))

Maryam:  Oh so soon?  I was hoping we could go for a walk after dinner (((brave, sensitive, funny AND hard worker)))

Hajiagha:  I am sorry. I would stay if I could, but I have to go. I’ll call you. (((khalas)))


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by Nehi nehi (not verified) on

The indian video was really funny! Thanks for posting it.


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by n.zanincanadai1 (not verified) on

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by IRANdokht on

I am so glad you told me! I had skipped it thinking it might be a picture of an indian restaurant sign...

That was hilarious!!! I can't stop laughing!! LOL



Thanks for reading

by Anonymouse on

Did you see the movie clip too?  I thought it was really funny ;-) specially the middle parts.


what a nice girl

by IRANdokht on

I hope she finds someone as nice as herself, too bad she's not picky enough... she got lucky this time.