Get your fortune here. Ask any yes/no question.

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Get your fortune here. Ask any yes/no question.
by Ari Siletz
07-May-2011
 

Found this fortune telling software on the net and asked a few questions that may be of interest. Only yes/no questions are allowed. The software is supposed to respond exactly the same way to the same question every time, but it really doesn't. However, the answers below are certified to be authentic.

Iran questions:

Will the IRI fall by next year?
No, that will not happen until long after all of us are long gone.

Will Ahmadinejad survive his quarrel with Khamenei?
Sure, why not?

will Emam Zaman appear before Khamenei dies?
Yes, unless the person involved is a Sagittarius.
(Note: Emam Zaman's zodiacal sign is Leo. Khamenei's:Cancer )

Will the US invade Iran?
Concentrate hard, then ask again.

(note: I concentrated hard)

Will the United States invade Iran?
The answer is YES!

Will Iran have a democracy right after the US invades that country?
Yes, if you keep secrets well.
(Note: Apparently the IRI will stay even after the US invasion.)

Will Reza Pahlavi become king?
No! Proceed with caution.

Will Reza Pahlavi become President?
Yes, if the person involved recently had a fight with their mom.
(Note to RP: now you know what to do!)

So bottom line: if RP has a fight with his mom the US will invade Iran and make RP the king of IRI! Stranger things have happened, like the time 

Some Iranian.com business:

Is JJ an NIAC stooge?
Absolutely not.

Is NIAC an IRI lobby?
Yes! Yes! Yes!

Are you in love with Maryam Rajavi?
I can't tell you firmly enough--YES!!

Will IC comment abuse policy change for the better?
When the dinosaurs come back to roam the earth.

Will dinosaurs ever come back to roam the earth?
Absolutely.

Bottom line: All is fair in love and IC slander.


Some modern day ayatollah questions:

Is it permitted to have sex with genetically modified animals?
Only when you learn to like Brussels sprouts.

Is it OK to talk on the cellphone while committing adultery?
No way.

Should gay men who are strangers wear hejabs in front of each other?
I want to say yes, but I really shouldn't.

Can I keep a dog if a sighe is performed?

Oh my gosh. Did you watch 'The Suite Life of Zach and Cody' this week? If so, yes!

(Note: sadly, I didn't)

Final note:

The auto fortune teller has been used by professional analysts as a handy tool for writing informed articles on a variety of subjects.  This trial version is not, however, intended as a replacement for the full expert package.

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more from Ari Siletz
 
Bavafa

Ari jaan, your site is hell bent in denying me my Jearlet

by Bavafa on

I tried your recommended diplomacy

Is my beautiful wife going to be kind enough to buy me a learjet?

No, bite as much as you can chew

Mehrdad


Ari Siletz

Bavafa, a little diplomcay!

by Ari Siletz on

Is my beautiful wife going to be kind enough to buy me a learjet?

Yes, indeed!


Bavafa

This site sucks

by Bavafa on

I ask a question and the answer was much to my dismay

The question was:

Is my wife was going to buy me a Jearlet (i.e Learjet)?

NO, it is not good for your health

This was certainly the answer I had hoped for!!!

Mehrdad


Ari Siletz

Clever exchange Ramintork!

by Ari Siletz on

Am I going to die, ever?


You can do anything. ( apparently to die is one of life's personal acheivements! at least on that we are all equal)


ramintork

Really Fun, I did my own questions

by ramintork on

Will Iran be Free? Absolutely not. ( must be a conspiracist software)

Would I continue to work like a slave for Investment banks?

Baby, you've got me totally sprung. Yes! ( Alas this tragically sounds very true, if I'm fortunate enough to keep the job!)

Does anyone like my Art work?

Yes, if you work hard at school. ( I'll keep doing in the style of DaGod school).

Am I going to die, ever?

You can do anything. ( apparently to die is one of life's personal acheivements! at least on that we are all equal)

If Jesus shows up with Imam Zamam would he lead?

Yes, my dear. ( at least this sounds more promising!)

Is my boss from a different star system?

Certainly. ( As I suspected!) 

 

 


Anahid Hojjati

MM, Faramarz should just say no to mehriyeh

by Anahid Hojjati on

even though we joked about it in Faramarz's past blogs that we will be on his Khastegari team, but Faramarz should not go for Mehriyeh. Nor should he want Jahizieh. These are all so old fashioned. Besides, Faramarz just wrote that he is in love, he did not write whether he is ready to say Goodbye to being single.


Ari Siletz

MM, asked Hafez about Osama's last thoughts

by Ari Siletz on

دمی با غم به سر بردن جهان یک سر نمی‌ارزد         به می بفروش دلق ما کز این بهتر نمی‌ارزد
به کوی می فروشانش به جامی بر نمی‌گیرند         زهی سجاده تقوا که یک ساغر نمی‌ارزد
رقیبم سرزنش‌ها کرد کز این به آب رخ برتاب         چه افتاد این سر ما را که خاک در نمی‌ارزد
شکوه تاج سلطانی که بیم جان در او درج است         کلاهی دلکش است اما به ترک سر نمی‌ارزد
چه آسان می‌نمود اول غم دریا به بوی سود         غلط کردم که این طوفان به صد گوهر نمی‌ارزد
تو را آن به که روی خود ز مشتاقان بپوشانی         که شادی جهان گیری غم لشکر نمی‌ارزد
چو حافظ در قناعت کوش و از دنیی دون بگذر         که یک جو منت دونان دو صد من زر نمی‌ارزد


MM

Faramarz - Happy for you.

by MM on

Do you still want us to negociate the term of your mehryieh? 


MM

Ari, This site is fun. 

by MM on

Ari,

This site is fun.  Probably as good as the fal-e Hafez fortunetelling sites (*). But, you and the other commentors asked the good questions already.

(*) //payvand.com/hafez/ or //www.falehafez.com/

 


Ari Siletz

Roozbeh, only yes/no questions

by Ari Siletz on

Higher than 63?

You'll get whatever you want, unless you are currently dating someone you don't love.

Explaining the meaning of this answer is really Faramarz's territory.

 


Ari Siletz

Faramarz

by Ari Siletz on

Happy for you and a bit envious that you got to her first.  A bit of advice though, if you hear a helicopter make up with her right away no matter whose fault it was.


Roozbeh_Gilani

According to your fortune telling SW, what are the chances of..

by Roozbeh_Gilani on

که دکتر مموت (جیگرش رو برم) و رهبرش، دور از چشم کور خس و خاک ها، مجاهدین منفور و کرم‌های یهودی اینترنتی، و به برکت ساندیس خور های لوس آنجلس نشین  نیاکی یکی‌ دو تا  بمب تخمی (ببخشید هسته‌ی) از پاکستان یا این کمونیست  های منفور کره شمالی بخرند، قبل از شهادتشون یا فرار پر شکوهشان به سوریه یا مسکو؟


Faramarz

Ari

by Faramarz on

Jennifer Aniston is not my type at all. She reminds me of all those sorority girls at Kappa House that used to ask me and my friends, when we crashed their parties if we were Greek (fraternity sorority system) and we innocently would say that we have been to Athens!

But I have to admit that I have found the woman of my dreams and as of last weekend, and she is available!

She is kind and giving. She doesn’t mind living in a cave or a villa in Abbotabad! She is not into shopping. She is not on the phone all the time gossiping and she takes a bullet for her man!

I am in love, finally!


Ari Siletz

Will Jennifer Aniston's new boyfriend be Iranian?

by Ari Siletz on

You have no idea how completely positive I am that this will take place.

Anyone we know?

Definitely

Faramarz?

Are you kidding? That is absolutely absurd.

Admin?

Baby, you've got me totally sprung. Yes!


Anahid Hojjati

Some questions from me and answers I got

by Anahid Hojjati on

 

Should I cook more?

No, unless you are a Democrat.

------------------------------

will i ever go to Iran while IRI is in power?

I'm afraid I am going to have to say no.

 --------------------------------------------------

Will I ever write a masterpiece poem?

Yeah, baby!

 --------------------------------------------

Will Jennifer Aniston find a good man?

Yes, my dear.

 ------------------------------------------

Will Us recover from it economical problems in two years?

Yes, but you'll regret it.

---------------------------------------------------

Will Fred post only one blog on IC one day?

Unless today is Wednesday.


پندارنیک

Wikineaks

by پندارنیک on

 

 

XXXXX.....(((()))))

unɟ s,ʇɥƃıu ʎɐpɹnʇɐs

xxxxxxxxxxxx......../////////


Anahid Hojjati

wow, very funny

by Anahid Hojjati on

Thanks Ari. This is funny. My favorites are: 

Are you in love with Maryam Rajavi?
I can't tell you firmly enough--YES!!

Will IC comment abuse policy change for the better?
When the dinosaurs come back to roam the earth.

Will dinosaurs ever come back to roam the earth?
Absolutely.