My father died today - a Eulogy

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My father died today - a Eulogy
by Azadeh Azad
21-Apr-2010
 

Today, my father died at three in the morning in a private hospital in Tehran. He will be buried tomorrow. He was 88.

My dad was born in the village of Yush, of Nour county in Mazanderan. He had been brought to Tehran at the age of 9 months, his place of birth was registered as Tehran and he never wanted anyone to know that he was born in the birthplace of Nima Yushij – after all that was a "village" and he was very "urban." He was a typical middle-class urban Iranian, a civil servant of the Shah’s time.

In his early youth, while working as a civil servant at the Tehran Railway Department, he was studying to become an engineer but then the WWII broke and he was stuck with a Technician degree. Since time immemorial, he told us about the occupation of the Railway Station by the Russian and British forces, how he was afraid of the Russians and made silly jokes to gain their trust and overcome his own fear, and how he admired "the English" for eating only potatoes everyday behind closed doors and still keeping a stiff upper-lip. He himself looked and behaved like an Englishman, as my mother put it.

After my mother, my dad was the most powerful member of my family of origin. I remember him as a tall, blue-eyed and light brown haired handsome man who was always dressed impeccably, three-piece suite, white starched shirt and neat ties. He spoke a bookish Persian, was conservative by nature (didn’t take risks,) was very diplomatic and had a great sense of humour. He was also a kind of maverick. He came from a Bazaari family, but he hated the Bazaaris and went to Dar-ol-Fonun college to do his studies. A few years after the War, he got married and I am his first child. As a child, I remember him burning the midnight oil and studying to become an engineer.

My father was not a gifted or multi-dimensional man. In fact, he had only four dimensions: he was diplomatic, good with electrical gadgets, good with managing the money, and good for having long naps!!! Contrary to my mother who was an avid reader, my father hardly read anything – except the newspaper headlines. He was authoritarian and disciplined, a hard working and ambitious man, and very honest. His honesty had a religious root. He was a practicing Muslim and always made sure to pray first before playing poker with his male relatives :-). He was half-modern, half-traditional. The education of his children was the most important thing in his life, especially his daughters’.

My father was a cold and reserved man who was not very much able to love. Yet I adored him in my childhood and sometimes missed him when I moved to Canada. His idea of parenting was "to watch the children" as opposed to loving them. I constructed my whole personality in opposition to his and that of my mother. Yet I learnt a lot from both of them. My dad taught me how to work hard in order to achieve my goals instead of counting on luck or using other people. He taught me how to stick to my values instead of changing them opportunistically or being ashamed of them – he would pray in front of tens of unbelievers when it was time to pray. He also taught me honesty, "because that’s the least complicated way to be" (on the top of "dishonesty being a sin.") He remained a mid-ranking official, as he repeatedly rejected bribes of millions of toumans to hire, as his employee, the son of this or that rich family.

My father advised his children not to get involved in politics. But we all did. He never expressed any opinion for or against the Shah. He only sometimes whispered stories about the Majesty's twin sister trafficking drugs via railway along the country.

My dad and I were always very different people and he was no hero of mine, but he did his best as a father, as a husband, as a citizen and as a human being. I miss him a lot.

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more from Azadeh Azad
 
faryarm

Dear Azadeh

by faryarm on

I was saddened to read about  loss of you dear father from so far away..

He sounds like a Gentle Man of the old school..

I remember my first heartfelt loss of a loved one, when i lost my Uncle (Amoo) he was only 47; he passed away at the end of my summer holiday in Iran, after which i had to leave Iran and go back to school and satrt getting ready for GCE Exams.

In English, I had to choose a verse or poem and express my feelings about it.

This is what I chose, as i had poured over any thing i could read to find some meaning

If I remember correctly, It went:

"....all the sorrow and the grief that exist come from the world of matter—the spiritual world bestows only the joy!"

I believe  that your father's spirit ,is joyous; and as it is said in Persian Ruheshan Shaad.

My deepest sympathies

Faryarm 

 

source


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Anahid Hojjati

Dear Azadeh, please accept my condolences

by Anahid Hojjati on

 

Azadeh jan, You have written a powerful Eulogy for your dad.  I could imangine him when you started writing about his blue eyes and his suits.  I like where you wrote:"...He taught me how to stick to my values instead of changing them opportunistically or being ashamed of them – he would pray in front of tens of unbelievers when it was time to pray..."  


MM

God bless him. My condolences.

by MM on

I know how it feels when you are here and a dear family member passes away in Iran and you cannot be there.  It is very painful.  Cherish his memory.


Bavafa

My deepest sympethy

by Bavafa on

Little one can take from reading your piece, it is obvious he has done a great job as a father, husband and citizen.

I am not religious so I say, may his soul rest in peace.

Mehrdad


Khar

My sincere condolences

by Khar on

to you Azadeh jaan and your family! our beloved are not gone they always will be with us in our heart...

No More Tears in Heaven;

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=d3UB5Fr80SM&feature=related


IRI

He is in a better place

by IRI on

Sorry to hear the bad news. God willing this would be your last pain.


Jahanshah Javid

Touching, honest

by Jahanshah Javid on

Lovely, sincere... Brought tears to my eyes.

My deepest sympathies.