bahmani

At the height of selfish self promotion, PAAIA the Public Affairs Alliance of Iranian Americans, or as I like to call them "New but unimproved Diet NIAC" without Trita Parsi, literally ruined my dinner.

I can kid PAAIA, like I kid Trita Parsi because it's not like they would ever think of sponsoring free speech on this site with any ads or anything. And then pull them because of this critical opinion/editorial. I mean why would anyone interested in reaching into the wallets of Iranian-Americans ever consider advertising in the widest read Iranian-American website in the first place?

Although this article could certainly explain why!

Now, I don't ask for much, I understand that each day is a blessing, and it is always too much to ask that Iran and Iranians be free, and for us to behave like humans. One can hope. But to cause such disappointment that one's appetite is taken by the mere opening of an errant and lost email, is beyond forgiveness.

So you're going to hear about it. Sorry, therapy is too expensive, and I don't think there is a psychoanalyst qualified enough to treat the Iranian condition. Plus, we all know that all of us on this site and any who wander in momentarily are stark raving totally crazy.

Don't worry about PAAIA hearing about it, they've been inbreeding for so long, they no longer have ears.

On January 5th, PAAIA sent an email expressing that it THINKS that Iranian Americans "at Large" are concerned about only one Iranian American being held unreasonably and without word in Iran by the "authorities".

Let me preface by saying that the disdain PAAIA has demonstrated for Iranian Americans, especially those that ask too many questions, is proven by the use of the term "At Large" to describe them. "At Large" is what you refer to an escaped criminal or wild animal. So calling Iranian Americans "At Large", well, let's just say I hope I did not ruin your dinner.

Second is the uncomfortably respectful tone in which PAAIA addresses Iran as "the authorities". Addressing someone as the authorities, means you accept to give them authority, which is the legitimate right. How can you object and acknowledge legitimacy at the same time? YOU CAN'T!!! This is like saying "I hate Cake!" with a mouthful of it.

Third is the choice of their so called concern. Clearly someone must have pressed them on this particular choice. Because there are so many far more deserving than this. Amir Hekmati, a former US Marine, who did a tour in Iraq, then started a linguistics service and was a US government-military contractor, went to Iran last summer to visit his relatives and grandmothers.

Unfortunately with a bio like that, had he asked me, I would have been forced to say something along the lines of, and I'm just paraphrasing here, "ARE FUCKING CRAZY??????"

Shortly after he arrived in Tehran, of course as any of us would have predicted, he was promptly arrested, charged with being a CIA spy, and in fact he then confessed to the accusation, although we all know what that's worth.

Now I don't know if Amir is a US spy or not. Hell, if 2 Jewish-American Hikers aren't spies, who is?

But I do know that given the choice of standing behind one of the many many many many many many more important political prisoners unfairly detained for far lesser crimes in Iran today, many of whom you can easily read about on this site each and every day, the one that MOST Iranian-Americans care about, is not sadly, ever going to be Amir the former US Marine from Phoenix.

The arrogant suggestion that somehow Amir is more important than ANY other Iranian political prisoner, is simply stunning. Are Iranian-Americans really that much more important than Iranians? Really!

Finally, after stoking the fire with the ridiculous stick, like always PAAIA's email ended with a jaw dropping closing, the not as believable expression of "extreme concern" over Amir's detention. They then called on the authorities once again, this time to "safeguard' Amir's rights "consistent with international norms", not law, norms. Last time I checked the international norm of what you do to an accused/admitted/confessed/convicted spy is throw him in jail. Iran of course will execute him too.

PAAIA then "urged" the US State Department, to continue. "Yes, yes, get along, that's a good wotsit, Harrumph! Ahem! Carry on my good man! Wait! You missed a spot! Be careful, that's imported you know!"

PAAIA should stop "Stroking the Shaft of Success" or whatever they call the same old road trip of tired Iranian lottery winners, for a minute, and really consider changing it's name, and call itself PAAIAM, (M for members), because to be fair, it is a members only club. But you can't call it a country club though, because as you can see, they have no country.

So I think PAAIAM is a good name. As in "Beshin PAAIAM Khoob Goosh Kon Ziad Harf Nazan!"

Now, I'm hungry. I wonder if there is any dinner left.