Next Life by Woody Allen (plus my note!)

Borumand_M
by Borumand_M
06-Apr-2008
 

In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people's home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm! I rest...

..........

My response to WOODY!

Excuse me Mr. Woody, you had a good idea but that's not going to end there! Then you become in two pieces an sperm and an egg! As a sperm you swim up the urinary track. Good luck with that! :-) and eventually you become bunch of DNA and rest and then bunch carbon and hydrogen etc. After a few hundred times of being recycled in and out of likes of Hitler and Changeez khaan and Cyrus you would spread back in space where you came form, rotating in a disk that would make the solar system! One step further back you end up meandering through cosmos in a mostly vacum and then you end up in a million degree hot furnace in the core of a star that belongs to a generation of starts before our sun in Milkyway!

How do you like that?! Ending up in hell! How is it working for you? Now we aint finished yet. Then you gotta go back all the way to big bang. And eventaully you may just become a "quantum fluctuation"!!

I think you better stick with your art Woody, Fruity!

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I call BS

by Andrew (not verified) on

There's no known source of the piece, it doesn't resemble his other writings in the slightest, and my google searches have only pulled up postings on journals and chain letters. Clearly this is a sham quotation, like the George Carlin and John Cleese pieces that also floated around the interwebs.

I'm convinced that there's somebody actively trying to sully the reputations of great comedic writers by relying on stupid and gullible people to pass along cheesy chain letters.


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Woody Allen

by Steve (not verified) on

Very curious as to source of Allen material. Anything available??


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You need not apply!

by Concerned Iranian (not verified) on

Woody Allen was not looking for a response from anyone. He wrote a piece to reflect his whimsical thoughts. Why do you have the urge to respond to everything you read? Sometimes the best thing you can do, is simply read and enjoy!