The American Nobel prize winners in humanity, economics and diplomacy. President George w. Bush and his vice president Dick Chaney, decided that they have had it with the little Iranian monkey in the front window president Ahmadinejad. It was decided to attack Iran by air, sea, and land. There was one major problem, the American forces which were comprised mostly of the unemployed minorities who had been hood winked by the pie in the sky promises of large tax free cash bonuses, free prostheses for their missing legs, and arms at the premier military hospitals. It turned out that the military bosses with their deep wisdom had out sourced these tasks to the Chinese, who were the lowest bidders and were free with their use of lead in their prostheses. The lead content had added great weights to their body weights and in some cases had caused squashing of their wives, girl friends, and in even some cases their gay boy friends. The reenlistment had dropped off sharply, and there was a manpower shortage everywhere due to the unreasonable miscarriage of the justice and promises. The cowboy brains, no insult to the genuine cowboys intended, decided to utilize the great American man power pool of the incarcerated. Vice president Chaney stated that there are over two million people in the American jails doing nothing, but working out with the weights and raping the new young arrivals. We should send the most violent ones to serve their country by fighting in Iran. It will save us a load of money, and we might even be able to reduce our budget imbalance. Following the heavy aerial bombardments by the smart and accurate bombs which hit parts of Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Dubai, and the Arab Emirate. The Arabs decided to stop supplying the Americans with oil, Bush had to take the bus to Crawford Texas for a time. In the mean time, the American military personnel with heavy criminal backgrounds, found the native Iranians very charming and friendly. They became almost the members of their family. There was a great deal of intermarriage, and the military was melting into Iran. The PX was busy supplying the booze to the great black market in Iran which was managed by the friendly revolutionary guards. . After a short time, there was nobody left to fight the friendly natives who were now also the in-laws. After ten years of perseverance and the usual media propaganda and lies, it was decided to declare a victory, like in Vietnam, Iraq, Afghanistan, and Nicaragua and send what was left of the original troupes who were not smoking opium or using dope on regular basis home. The government was broke, and they all had to pay their own way. America, the winner of the war had to give equal opportunity to the Iranians, same as they had done to the Vietnamese , the Cambodians, and the Cubans. Long lines started forming in front of the Red Chinese embassy in Tehran, they were now the American interest organization; they had been supplier of clothing to the Americans and the atomic technology to Iran, nobody could have chosen better, or fairer The Americans had out sourced their diplomatic functions and the Red Chinese were the lowest bidder. Ghomese, Isfahanis, Azaries, Yazdies and all other select groups from Iran started pouring over the borders. Everyone, wanted to escape the Islamic clergy and the hanging judges, the glory of bull had evaporated and the real stink was out in the open now. Most had sent their children and grandchildren ahead of time, and now they all could unite and make up for the lost time and the opportunities. The Azaries took over all the quick food shops and retail food supply stores. The Ghazvinies and Isfahanies headed to San Francisco area. A major damage was done to the same sex marriages. The male brides were shown a more meaningful life style. The new brides found out what they had been missing. They had a hard time siting comfortably without a round pillow with a hole in the middle, similar to the ones for hemorrhoid. They had gotten a taste of the new good life and were praying for a Greek invasion, to show them the absolute high. American, being a competitive nation, it caught up soon with the new standards and developed its own style. It became hard to tell the difference between an Iranian and an America, but the Americans were not as good liars as their counter parts, they mostly lied in politics, and financial matters. The Americans exchanged a great deal about deceit with the Iranians and enriched their lives. The world will not be the same old crooked place as it was before, it will be operating on a much higher level on both side of the ocean. The hangover will last and make us all wiser and more cynical.
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I enjoy all your witty pieces
by cookie monsta (not verified) on Mon Jun 23, 2008 01:51 PM PDTbut I would suggest paragraphs. Easier on the eyes.
BRAVOO!
by Cameron Batmanghlich (not verified) on Mon Jun 23, 2008 11:43 AM PDTYou sure are one smart cookie!
Loved it ...
My hat off for you.
Cameron