Whipped in Tehran

KouroshS

No, you did not have that coming to you.  Actually, I agree with anonymous fish. Your advice makes a lot of sense.

Besides you said that you have been single for 8 plus years. You never said that you had never been married or never in  a long term relationship.

People live and learn from past relationships. One can even learn from watching the disastrous relationships of others.

I for one have found both your and anonymous fish advice very helpful.

Best

actually

i think that BEING single can sometimes give you a perspective that a married couple doesn't have.  it's very easy for me, being married, to say, well hell, i know what I'M talking about... i'm married and THIS is the way it is.  but that is exactly the problem.  i'm looking at it FROM my perspective and generally it's from a position of defensiveness.  going from an extremely passive long-term marriage to a VERY passionate one with one whom i consider my absolute soul-mate was a hard adjustment.  i was used to getting MY way...lol.  so was he!!!!  compromise compromise compromise.  so easy to say yet so hard to do.

anyhoo... in this i agree with you.   :-)) 

The MRs.

I know, I had that coming. That was not just an advice. Who am i to give any advice? Even if you have been married for many years you may still not be in a position to give advice. That was just my opinion and it has been tested and approved.

akhe folan che rabti be folan dare? It is what is right and what works. Been approved by those who have been married for years. You don't need to be angry and dismiss it Just because i am not married or have no proof in my doogh:)

Don't worry. I am so relaxed. I have been a veteran reader on this site and over time, I have learned not to take you too seriuosly LOL shookhi:)

Kourosh - Are you single 8 + years??? Did I miss something.

How about calling it much ado about nothing!!! Akheh babam jan if you are going to give advice, at least it should come from something that has a proven track record or something. How about you come back when you're not single anymore? Maybe your theories are nice on paper and not working in practice?

Next time, have some game :) kidding baba relax, I didn't mean you don't work out your issues or keep things inside and not communicate and bla bla bla. All I'm saying is that sometimes, people are more complex! They play games...And for the record, I've been with my lover for quite a while. So I have proof in my pudding.

have a good night

Keep trying:)

I don't know what anyone can call this... analysis, theory... but just imagine that all this is coming from someone who has been single for 8 straight years now and counting:).

absolutely

once again, i totally agree.  it's just that i haven't been able to master that theory myself...lol.  i think you nailed it on the "pride" issue.  i would have to admit that this might be exactly MY failing.  and it's so typical (and easy) to say, "well, you do too... etc." 

i have to say that i am very impressed with your analysis or theory or whatever you want to call it.  it should be understood and discussed before marriage is even contemplated.  better late than never... :-)

Ananymous fish

Well. Perfect or imperfect world, my point is that man and a woman must be able to have the ability to constantly communicate and not let things drag on or fester, and to be able to have issues resovled, without the possibility of parole:)) and not holding grudges. I mean, if two people can work together and make the necessary compromises, to make their relationship work why would there be "issues" to begin with? It can be done. there are couples who have done it. If not, recognize it early on and set each other free.

Unfortunately though a lot of people chalk that up as a pride issue and refuse to even consider it, and that to me is not right.

KouroshS

in a perfect world, you're absolutely right.  but it's not a perfect world unfortunately.  it's difficult to solve each and every problem on the spot.  but damned if you shouldn't try.  it's the WORST thing for a relationship to have issues that just fester.  they will ALWAYS come up.  sometimes even when you THINK you've resolved them.  nonetheless, i agree with you 100%.

The absolute Wrong approach

Giving someone the satisfaction! of being right all the time, does precisely what it intends to prevent, of creating the image of a woos in their partner's mind.
I think it is a pretty DUMB action on the part of women to want to test a man they are with for various stupid and f..up reasons. Every argument or minor disagreement must be settled right there and then and it needs to be done in order to impart dignity and respect to the relationship.

If a woman does not want a weak or a naive man, then she'd better have her eyes and ears open and make wise decisions before hand, rather than attempting totally idiotic and useless and maskhare technics, just to see if he can stand up and be a man! Get real.

Perhaps it is a dream within a dream........

Though at times reality is stranger than fiction.

:o)

Why not just pretend you

Why not just pretend you are actually whipped and give her the satisfaction of BELIEVING you're listening to her? sometimes you get away with a lot more that way.

I'm not sure if I understand Sina's interpretation of his own theory. The way I see it, sometimes women, maybe they're unaware of this, want to whip a man just to see him stand up for himself. If they're chosen someone similar to themselevs it's obvious the guy's not going to do anything terrible. So they whip him over meaningless thigns just to see him stand up and be a man. Cuz a woman always wants a man (lesbinas excluded). Because no woman, I repeat, no woman EVER wants to be with a woos.

the issue of whether he is or is not in iran

really isn't important in the context of his "stories".  it's just when he makes political comments or opinions and bases them on his living in iran.  it DOES affect the flavor of the blog and people's response to it.  for example, my living in southern california and pretending to be living in tehran and acting all knowledgable about conditions there is deceitful.  that's all.

this story just doesn't make any sense to me.

Daryush jan,

I don't know why people react so "strange" about your being in Iran ;-)

Anyway, this kinda relationship you have with Eli, AND Sina, reminded me very much of the movie Atash Bas. Being in Iran, you probably have seen it. Just for the one in million chance that you might have missed that handsome fellow and the cute gal, and a story with lines similar to yours, watch it, it is funny!

Interesting for discussion of issues regarding relationships

Daryush, what you wrote does not convey anything from Iran.  What you wrote is being experienced by Iranian-Americans and other Iranians in diaspora. However, your writing is interesting for discussing relationship issues.

Actually MP

As you said " I would like to read more about his environment and people's reaction to this love affair."

It is a reasonable request  whether the story is true or fictional. Like you said, it would attract the readers into continuing to read his writings.

For me, I'm just enjoying reading it. I can actually visualize what he describes.

Perhaps, he will add more of what you wish.

over and out......... peace

Lack of some crucial elements in the stories

I never said the write of these stories has, or should, or need to PROVE where he lives, HOWEVER in MY humble opinion if I am reading a true story (according to the writer) about a person that supposedly lives in Tehran and has a forbidden love affair with her divorcee neighbor in that restrictive and highly inquisitive society, I would like to read more about his environment and people's reaction to this love affair. And yes, over there it is everybody's business what he does, unless things have changed so much that nobody gives a damn anymore, which in that case I guess it's fine for the storyline to go back an froth between Eli, Daryush, and their friends, but I won't be around to read anymore, because I'll be bored with it.

I’ve already praised Daryush on his writing skills, it is the lack of some crucial elements in his stories that I have a problem with.

MP

What gives? Why should it matter whether he can prove where he lives?

I am just enjoying the tales of Daryush and Eli. Better than reading a romance novel. :o)

Happy Easter!

Whipped?

How can you be "Whipped" by Eli when you say that you are only friends. If I recall you only are lovers 2-3 times a year and only because you get deperate.

So therefore, she can't make any demands. I find it interesting that you say "disobeyed" because she is not your mom.

I think it is time that you stop and anaylze your true relationship with Eli because it sounds like you've already made a match.

My humble opinion, of course.

I'm still reading

That's what I call writing a lot and not telling much, and by that I mean there are people here that claim that you don't really live in Tehran and you're just a pretender, but that's not the point. You write stories, and they are interesting writings, but you can't go on like this forever or we will, or at least I will, lose interest in reading more.

I want to know more about the environment that you have this forbidden love affair so I can better relate to the characters. I don't think you can do that, but as the writer of these stories you have to do that, whether you live there or not.