Top 10 ways to tell if You are a Dictator?

Share/Save/Bookmark

Top 10 ways to tell if You are a Dictator?
by eroonman
25-Jul-2008
 

So far, 2008 has spawned an unusually high number of self appointed leaders, visible in the media, and even more so, within Iranian communities around the world.

These wonderboys and wondergirls, take their cues from and often refer to our grand tradition and long history, as justification. Forgetting our other less mentioned grand tradition and history, namely that Iranians hold the record for being the longest running dictatorship plagued people in the galaxy. We are the Miss Canada, Miss USA, Miss World, and Miss Universe of the politically oppressed. We have been oppressed for so long, that when Cyrus the Great invented basic human rights, he didn't give us any.

These folks though, take it upon themselves to squander Iranian energy and wealth towards achieving their well-intentioned dreams. And in many cases these are actual dreams. So eager are they to "Save Us All" singlehandedly, that they immediately toss aside all reason, obvious procedure, and established methodology, and run headlong into the brick wall of naivete.

So for all you who think you have leadership potential, and worse, "A Cool Idea", take heed and put yourself through this simple 10 point test. If you are any of these, take a breath, take a valium, sit down for a minute and read a Constitution, US, French, Dutch. (Note: Do not read the Iranian Constitution, that is written by people like you, who failed this test.)

Top 10 ways to tell if You are a Dictator:

1- You go ahead and start your "Community-Based Organization in secret, with you and  a few trusted friends representing "the community", and keep the news to yourselves and only invite American politicians, and the non-Iranian Press to your grand opening. And you think no one suspects.

2- Your idea of fund raising is to invite silicon valley millionaires and their fat silicone injected wives to a $9 buffet and call it a Banquet or Gala.

3- You don't see any upside in inviting the general public to any of your events. To further keep the riff-raff out,  you charge a $70 membership fee.

4- Even though you were a league leading scorer, you think that makes you qualified to coach the national Iranian soccer team.

5- You are rich, and your wealth comes primarily from ANY stock related transaction during the 90's, and you haven't done shit since.

6- You are an engineer, or a programmer. Look at the words "engineer", and "programmer" again, carefully.

7- Your idea of being an inspiration to others is to buy a Space Vacation from a Russian website.  

8- Your book is about you growing up in Iran as a middle class girl at anytime before, during, or after the revolution, with constant references to your grandmother's cooking and her unsolicited nuggets of wisdom.

9- Your stated  "Mission" is Iranian women's rights, but deep down you know it's really because you're a lesbian.

10- You get wet when anyone mentions 501(c)(3).

Note: Apologies for the bitter cycnicism, I honestly can't take it anymore. 

Therapy is Sacred!

Share/Save/Bookmark

Recently by eroonmanCommentsDate
You know it's coming...
-
May 02, 2011
Open letter to Ulmann
2
Jan 04, 2011
Arab-Islam? Have Faith!
2
Nov 06, 2010
more from eroonman
 
default

Fantastic satire. Thanks. I

by asdf (not verified) on

Fantastic satire. Thanks.

I was married to an engineer. They are one dimensional, rigid, and robotic ;with only one chip in their hard drive-- one set of operating system, incompatible with other existing programs--...LOL

If you remove that one chip, they stop functioning...Their rigidity makes them tyrannical to self and others.


default

JESUS christ

by JESUS OF NAZARAT (not verified) on

the guy is writing a satire, just enjoy it and move on. Don't need to defend yourself because you are an engineer or a programmer.

I think he has lots of funny points in his article that made me smile. Then I went back and read another one of his writings and I liked it again....

90% of us don't even bother to write a letter to magazine editors when the insult and assault us, but one wrong word in a blog and we unleash the criticism.


programmer craig

I never said Iranians

by programmer craig on

I never said Iranians engineers are bad people, just that they tend to
make bad dictators. Maybe most Iranian engineers aren't really
engineers, maybe they are really dictators who studied engineering!
Maybe you are the only real true engineer!

 

Funny :)

 

Possibly true as well!

 

What the hell is wrong with programmers, though?


default

Therapy

by Insane-catcher (not verified) on

Your write-up demonstrates your profound psychotic state. Why don't you stick to the only way to tell if you are a sane person: therapy!


eroonman

You just made my point... sort of...

by eroonman on

Issue a Decree? Are you sure you want to use those words defending your profession and arguing against my suggestion?

My experience with engineers iadds them to the list. You may be the one exception I have been waiting my entire life to meet. If so, I stand corrected. But I am not so sure by the way you listed the many obvious reasons why an engineer is so cool. Almost as if to justify superiority.

I never said Iranians engineers are bad people, just that they tend to make bad dictators. Maybe most Iranian engineers aren't really engineers, maybe they are really dictators who studied engineering! Maybe you are the only real true engineer!


default

What’s your problem with engineers?

by Engineer (not verified) on

I looked at the word “engineer” again, carefully, and I don’t understand why you consider engineers to be dictators. Here is what the dictionary says:
- A person trained and skilled in the design, construction, and use of engines or machines, or in any of various branches of engineering.
- A person who operates or is in charge of an engine.
- A person who operates or is in charge of a locomotive.
- A member of an army, navy, or air force specially trained in engineering work.
- A skillful manager

I work in North America as an engineer in design; for everything I do there are several layers of check and balances that has to be met before a project reaches a completion point. Here are some, but not all, stakeholders we have reach agreements with:
External: City, County, State, clean water and air agencies, US Forest, Park and Recreation, Environmental agencies, land conservancy, private property owners, utility companies…
Internal: maintenance, traffic, geotech, hydraulics, construction, right of way, environmental, landscaping,…

You better explain what you mean by engineers being dictators, or I’m going to issue a decree proclaiming your blog a dud.