eyeranian

Okay...too much FYI dude :o)

Life needs some mystery. Let's send that part of the information to the Bermuda triangle. :o)

Solh va Doosti (paz a vosotros)

paix et amitié

Nadia

2 thumbs up

2 thumbs up

Nadias

You are assuming sleeping with her was better than not, which is not always the case. :o) 

Oooooooooooooh I comprende now.

Dude sometimes, you win some and lose some. It must of set you back a lot of cash. Better luck next time!

You know, it could have been worse. Like her not sleeping with you.

Solh va Doosti (paz a vosotros)

paix et amitié

 Nadia

For Persian Westender & Nadias

Thanks for both your replies.

Persian Westender:

I promise to be honest with my replies even if they occassionally include "cut and run" suggestions. Sometimes that is the best, if not easiest way to deal with a relationship that is beyond repair. Again, I stress SOME times and not always.

Nadis:

1- No, I was not having a "physical relationship" with her yet and that was our first time, thus the special arrangements. Sorry if I did not make it clear.

2- NN asked for my advice, so I am assuming she wanted a male point of view and that is what I offered. If she meant something else, I am sure I'll get an email shortly!

You need

 to take a step back and anaylze the woman's meaning.

First let us examine one of your comments which I found a lack of logic.

 I once booked a beautiful (meaning expensive) suite with a separate living room, white marble Jacuzzi in the living room and glass shower in bedroom so we could make it a special night after dating this girl for a couple of months. To make a long story short, she was appalled at my suggestion of using the Jacuzzi together and even made me leave the bedroom to take a shower. Meanwhile, there was no shock or disgust at having any kind of sex, as long as it didn’t happen with the lights on. Guess she just had different values.

You said yourself that you had dated this woman for several months and obviously had a physical relationship going on. Why did her reaction suprise you? I'm sure that she behaved in the same way that you mentioned on many occassions. To expect her to change simply because you had certain expectations, is not logical.

**********************

Now on to traditional values from a women's perspective, as I only see men on this thread at the moment.

Traditional values can mean that the woman does not sleep around. She holds herself to the old code of conduct. As per her question:

 “Why is it that many Iranian men believe that Western women have no concept of what traditional values are?”

For whatever reason, there is a wide held belief by many men of varying ethnic groups that all Western women sleep around. Heaven forbid you should also be divorced. This assumption gets even worse.

***********

Right on target.

Your following statement is very sound logic.

 the “men” you are meeting are the kind you don’t want. If your values are not compatible, be it traditional or otherwise, or even if they are and these guys are just using it to get out of a relationship with you, get out. They are doing you a huge favor by just saying it, instead of having affairs, disappearing, playing games, etc.

She should not even consider these men, if they cannot understand her values. They are simply incompatible and things will not change the longer that she spends time with them. Both the man and her will get fustrated. It is better to just keep going on with life. One day, she will meet a most compatible man. :o)

First of all, and aside

First of all, and aside from content of your advice, It’s good to see that you are embedding the advices, in a cross-gendered format now. I’m a bit disappointed with seeing relationship issues are majorly represented by the same gender, in the adviser and the advice- seeker format. I rather to see for example, Kobra Khanoom to get involve in issues of male persons than the female, and would answer male questions with direct interaction with the male mentality( and the vice versa for male adviser). I believe at least with regards to some particular matters, It would be more constructive and interactive.

Secondly, why blogs of this kind mostly deal with vague and incomplete questions which drag not only the advisor to a guessing game about what would be the meaning of this particular concept; but also engage the readers to defy or disagree on the topic which was not to be meant in the first place. In this case, if you exactly knew about the concept of ‘traditional values’ you would’ve saved time and energy, particularly where the space of blogs are limited. There is no room for further inquiry in this system. (Although I agree that any form of brainstorming would be effective about gender relationship).

At the end I’m hoping you’re not one of those advisors who promote ending of relationship as a handy solution. To me some time its like “ be jaie halle masaleh, soorat masale ro pak kardan….”!

Good luck

Very entertaining

lol.Thanks