Faramarz

DM, thanks for the offer

But I did not eat the rice out of the package, I still had to cook it for about 45 minutes. When you say from scratch, that means that not getting even Sabzi khosk makhsoose sabzi polor from Iranian store? You mean actually going to store and getting the sabzi for sabzi polo.Very nostalgic and romantic.

Souri Jon

Happy New Year to you too!

My good behavior warmed a few hearts, I am sure! Thanks for your comments.

Mr. Rahmanian,

She didn't leave me for a better resume. Relationships are complex my friend!

Anahid Jan

Then I need to show you how to make the thing from Scratch! Eating out of a box brings bad luck. I think these people! Eat some kinda Beans or something...Black eyed beans? Pink cheek beans?,,,

Faramarz

Stay single and Prosper. we will call you Driving solo, to ditinguish between you and FS.

See? i gotta a solution for everythingbe mola.

Faramarz, now you know why I only leave short comments now

Good luck,

LOL Faramarz (

Happy New Year 2013 ;-)

The good behavior of the people, warms our heart and make us thankful.....  And the bad ones, just make us to recognize and appreciate the good ones!

DM, by the way, I made sabzi polo va Salmon for new year

On another blog, you had asked me about what is good to eat at new year. I made salmon with sabzi polo. However, the sabzi polo was with help from mahsoolate Sadaf. Somehow it seemed appropriate to eat this food for this new year too.

On the subject of this blog, Thanks to Internet, facebook and IC, we can all be experts. Morning, I advised people on senitive spots on facebook. In the evening, I have become relationship expert, now all I need is for my life to catch up with my computer.

Yes and Yes

Nazy Jaan,

Khappy New Khyear to you too!

I was heavily active on your Prince and Frog stories because the whole dynamics of Iranian relationships (specifically those in the Western setting) used to fascinate me. You remember how many posts I placed under my then handle of "Bag Lady". LOL. Those were the days. BTW, I miss Ajab Rajab. Remember him?

Agree that a 32 year old who needs advice has issues that are a bit more than just finding the right lifetime partner. But I said "If I were....". Hard to imagine an Iranian American woman asking for advice from her Mom at 20 let alone 32. :)

I acknowledge the notions to which you refer, the objective of finding the right match for a son or a daughter, in the context of the Iranian society. But as you know - and you and I have discussed a number of times in the past - while romance and love have their place- the issue of marriage is a totally different bag of goodies as far as the Iranian society is concerned.  Possibly when there is 'wealth' and a certain 'caste' differentiation - the union challenges are more paramount.  Upper echelons tend to 'play' more but don't wed with the 'wrong type' from the 'other side of the tracks.'

I tend to think though that when a man or woman is given a great many choices, they are less likely to settle for the standard 50-70 year marriage contracts that our parents 'enjoyed/endured'.  So, the thought is  - these days - for a parent to tell the kid to go out and explore, thinking that 'living knowledge' can be had that way. Possibly yes.  But you know and I know that life is a crapshoot. Even people who live before marrying, end up divorcing within 6 months of saying "I do."

I think you might agree with me that at the end of the day - an Iranian parent - if he/she had his/her druthers would 'like' to steer the partnership of son/daughter towards a 'mutually beneficial' union which, in their view, would have the highest possiblity of success (financially, health wise and procreation wise).  The whole notion of virginity is less to do with 'morality' I think and more to assure the uniterrupted 'womb', further assuring that the woman would in character and physique 'mold' around her man. If from the same clan, the partnership's longevity is 'somewhat' more assured. Because of aberoo - becasue of bedeh bestoon - because of family involvment. Possibly. Not guaranteed.

There is evidence - that common points of reference do help a couple forge and maintain a longer union.  If that comes from being from the same clan - well - much weight may be placed on that fact alone. 

I have heard these days in Iran wealthy parents encourage sigheh - aka namzaadi so that the girl is not 'stuck' in aghd rasmi. One of my close relatives insisted on a one year sigheh after which she was free to move back with her parents and the fellow had no claim on her or her parents' wealth.  Essentially he lost his place of accomodation as well.  These sorts of 'dealings' also are the sign of the times - the economics issues which, for better or worse, appear to trump 'love unions' of some.

The story that Faramarz shared here was about an Iranian American woman who seemingly was rather open minded about relations. I found it curious that she would have to go home to go to sleep. This particular dichotomy in and of itself gave away, to me, the duplicity of the woman. I would like to think that when my daughter is of an age to engage in sexual relations with a man, she'd be open about it and would not feel that she'd have to come home to me for me to feel better. I'd like to think that she would consider me slightly smarter than an imbecile. Having said that at her tender age when she asks me when sex would be OK, I have told her when she can pay her own rent. And I am sticking to that pact. :)

Nice chatting.

A Better Resume, Perhaps!

Did the guy's resume have anything to do with Shide's decision to leave Faramarz? Women do seem to be more practical than men!

Doctor Mohandes

I promise to behave myself!

That’s my New Year’s resolution!

You and I are going to be the Two Musketeers!

I will be D’Artagnan, and you will be Aramis!

Nazy jan

Avalandesh Ke... Happy New year:)))

Doyyomandesh

In today's world (kheili ketabish mikonam dige)(with guys like me and Faramarz around ... j/k) You just never know whome you are dealing with out there, so as bad and immature and unadultish(hehe) it may sound, sometimes,. some of us still needs some guardian angel type thingy to make sure we are taking steps on the right path, particularly if marriage is our ultimate intention.

 I am also under the impression that men and women in iran are actually bucking a new trend and are doing theis best to do away with all this Arranaged marriage of any kind. I guess one must be so darn traditional to just give up on the idea of casual relationship, and settle for anything arranged. But then again, as Anahid said, There is still work there to be done in order to create a relationship.

Areh Kholase Faramarz joon. Going back to your Isssues:)) worreesh nabash.  The ladies here have our weather:)))

Aslan... You know what???

The moment Your crazy roomate's Girlfriend had you swear and wanted your word to promise to be A good Boy, You should have known what was coming  Your way man!!!

I hate it, and Absolutely Hate it when one treats others like that. That is so humiliating i could not care less what is being promise. Even if it an Ticket for going to heaven!!! You MUST reject it, Yani che?

I have a girl for you if You promise to be a good boy and behave?? Nakahsteem!

Now, I must take my BP medicine as there might be some cardiovascular complications here:)))

Dear Solo

Happy New Year! Chetori?

In fact even today, the controversial thing among Iranians would be to say to "dam-e bakht" girls and guys to go explore relationships and enjoy themselves. Advice to girls on how to preserve their virginity and to plan a family by virtue of a wise choice, remains the standard party line among Iranian families. Things have changed a lot, but we still see new versions of arranged marriages in Iranian families these days, as Iranians see value, dignity, and significance in marriage, something they don't see in casual relationships.

In the example I wrote, I think a 32-year-old woman is pretty dumb if she still listens to her maman joon about what to do with her life. Aside from feeling indignant that my good friend was dumped by the 32-year-old woman in favor of a more-established economic situation with a distant relative, I am actually fairly relieved for him not to be stuck in a lifetime relationship with her.

.....

Thank you for your story again and I enjoyed reading all the posts also......I read 2nd half of your story again....here is the last sentence of your story:

She gave me a sweet smile, hugged me, kissed me on the cheek, got into her car and drove away and I knew that I will never see her again.

It reminds me of James Blunt's song, You are beautiful

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=Msoioc49III

So this story is non-fiction, right?

Thank you for sharing!

Crazy Man!!!

My distant relatives are either dead or cougars! I’ll introduce them to Dr. Mohandes! He has the perfect attitude to deal with them, the cougars, not the dead one!

Nafahmidam. Chi shod??? TAlk about Bardashte Ghlata... I would rather die in a cold box and lonely at that. than to even go remotely near the idea of having the perfect attitude...to handle anyone. To hell with that man. Esta loco!!!

I gotta say man: She was a damn good Judge of a character...in thinking that you are... kkkk krazy....:))))

Nevertheless. You successfully completed the mission You were on Soldier:) You Made us all men (on this site) So proud. If there were Purple or any color heart Type thingy for such bravery, Maan, You know it, You had my vote.

Now go get some more of them tiger... Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.:)))

I actually had to go back and count ...

the number of comments left by men vs women. 

I can't speak for all women, but for me personally it was the lightness of your tone which compelled me to leave a comment.

I also agree with Monda, you don't need help, you are cool as you are. :)

Sorry ... no pity for ConSultants

ConSulting is the art of Coning and Insulting ... therefore you shouldn't expect any sympathy from a working man, my friend. The consultants' blood is "Halal" ;-)

"A good consultant borrows your watch to tell you the time. A bad consultant can't tell the time and doesn't return the watch!"

Frigid weather?

I suppose you're right: the weather must be female. ;)

Thanks for the hot chocolate. I'm tucked up and snuggled up and luckily there is no fan in sight. Will let you know when I need one during local warming. 

Btw if dimples are PC for cellulite, what do you call wrinklers?

"Stuff happens and some, one way or another, get stuffed"

: )) Faramarz you don't need help

You are Cool the way you are baba - Not because I may be biased either : )

I ditto Mehrban and Princess on your character. It's always a pleasure to read your memories.

Now you got Me looking into youtube for a fitting song to one of My memories. See what you do?! I have a pile of reading to complete until tomorrow, now I'm all distracted. Sheeesh, you men!  

What's wrong?

Faramarz: You write:

Solo Khanoom,

There is more to life than a new washer and dryer. If I were to advise a 32-year old daughter, I would tell her to get out there and make it on her own and don’t surrender her future to a PowerPoint guy or a distant relative. You only live once, this is not a rehearsal and don’t play victim for god sake!

Victim is an overused word, so have no idea what its relation is to the discussion at hand. 

We are all adults here and realize that life is a lot more than appliances (old or new).  I think we also need to be cognizant of the fact that the majority of women in the world wish for children.  There are exceptions of course, rare as they are. Additionally the majority of Iranian women would not consider having children without a partner. Which brought the discussion and the choice for the 32 year old woman between the Power Point guy and the Distant Relative.

Whether there is more to life than having babies, owning a washer/dryer and a hubby is acknowleged. It is a universal wish of the majority of the people in this world (man and woman) to forge a partnership and procreate.  You wish to dispute it - be my guest.  Don't trivialize human instinct though simply because it does not suit your agenda.

Help!

Shazde Dear,

I am outnumbered here!

You are supposed to help me and not watch me suffer!

Mehrban,

Thank you. I placed a kiss on the red dot under your right eye in your avatar!

Maziar Khan,

I am glad that you picked up on the 1 AM curfew and loved the Rashti joke!

Princess,

Thank you. Why do you think this particular story resonate so strongly with the women bloggers on this site?

Mr. Rahmanian,

Thanks for reading and kind words.

Divaneh Jaan,

Thank you. My whole room smelled like Clinique products for months. As you know, women have a way of leaving things behind so you remember them even when they are not there! It’s a primal thing like the tigers and lions. They mark their territory!     

Long live good memories

Thoroughly enjoyed this Faramarz jaan. I fully agree with you that marriage is not always the best outcome. Kissing and departing is a far better option when you both had fun and know that any likely marriage ends in failure. Mind you, with she departing at night, how did you cope with the morning syndrome?

Dear Faramarz:

I liked the story. I liked the photo as well.Happy 2011.

delete

double posted 

Enjoy your stories

Sometimes some things are good, precisely because they short-lived. 

I, too, enjoy your stories and other posts in general. And I second Mehrban's sentiments. 

Happy writing and happy New Year! 

faramarz khan

enjoyed reading the story.

that's what happens usually if you( or she) kisses on the first date,relation ends.

the other one you mentioned leavig you around 1 in the morning reminded me of a Rashti joke : and the father said thanks god she doesn't smokes!!  cheers  Maziar

Who said anything about a "problem"

Exactly that it seems that you (the cyber Faramarz) has very little problem with life in general.  And that is great!  In my book it is better than great, it is enviable.

“I am the son of Prophet Mohammad!”

... and it shows!

“I am getting married next month!

... I asked her if she wanted to come to my place and spend some time with me."

Happy 2011 to you too my bro

Keep writing : )

Happy 2012!

Mehrban,

I am as well adjusted as Jack Nicholson on “One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest!”  But some of my dates are not doing as well!

But seriously, why would a healthy social life with many friends be considered as a problem?

MM Jaan,

Thanks for Willie Nelson clip. I had never seen it before. He is such a class act.

I sleep on a queen-size bed! Lots of space!

Nazy,

Thanks for your kind words. We all have great, innocent memories and I do cherish them dearly!

Monda,

You didn’t say anything like drama and betrayal. My apologies for over-generalization.

Solo Khanoom,

There is more to life than a new washer and dryer. If I were to advise a 32-year old daughter, I would tell her to get out there and make it on her own and don’t surrender her future to a PowerPoint guy or a distant relative. You only live once, this is not a rehearsal and don’t play victim for god sake!

About distant relatives - memories - settling down

If they are distant in the nesbee way, that means that they did not even know you when you were young, at best they saw you at deed va bazdeed. If they are distant relative in the sababee way, they think you are any thing like the one who became part of their family which in reality may not be the case. So I am not saying distant relative does not work but that is just one way to know people and after that you still have to build a relationhip with them. You can't out of blue settle down with them because their family is nice. Also who says, making memories is wrong, and who says that everyone is looking to settle down?