Who Crashed Iranian.com's Servers?


by Faramarz

Scene 1: CSI has been called in to a crime scene at an apartment in Las Vegas. The victim is Kimchi, a 28-year old Korean-American cocktail waitress. She has been killed by a single blow to the head.

Her room is full of posters of Iranian singers, Dariush, Andy and Arash. There is an old picture of her with what appears to be her love interest, a young Iranian man called Hamid.

Grissom: “I love chelo kabob a lot, but I think that she is infatuated by Persian men!”
Catherine: “Those Persian boys are bad! I used to date one of them.”

CSI recovers two laptops from Kimchi’s apartment. One belongs to her, but further analysis at the lab and the matching of the serial number to the Interpol database reveals that the second laptop was stolen from a man named Jahanshah Javid back in August on a TGV train from Paris to Marseille.

Scene 2: Nick is interviewing Kimchi’s manager, Dokhi at The Wynn.

Dokhi: “Kimchi was a beautiful girl. She dated this guy Hamid for almost two years when they were both in college. They wanted to get married, but Hamid’s mom was against it. She wanted him to marry a nice Persian girl. They eventually broke up. Since then she has been going to Persian clubs and concerts looking for romance. But it has all been quick affairs with the wrong guys. She joined an Iranian on-line community, Iranian.com about six months ago and she seemed happy for a while. I know that she met one guy through Iranian.com, Asghar Ghaatel. They met a couple of times here in Vegas. He told her that he was separated from his wife. I am not sure what came out of that relationship.”

Scene 3: Six months earlier in Vegas.

Kimchi has been glued to her computer ever since she discovered Iranian.com. She blogged constantly and made comments about all subjects. She also dropped hints here and there that she was interested in meeting some of the bloggers. In particular, she was attracted to Asghar Ghaatel. She found his postings very clever.

Asghar wrote about social and political issues, but over time his material became more and more explicit. Some of the readers objected to his crude language. He had some heated email exchanges with JJ and was ultimately asked not to come back to Iranian.com.

Kimchi and Asghar met in Vegas several times. In their last meeting Asghar told her that he is going to work things out with his wife and cannot see Kimchi anymore. Kimchi was heart broken.

Scene 4: Four months earlier. Kimchi is on the same trans-Atlantic flight as JJ.

She had learned about his itinerary through one of his regular customers who works at the British Airways. Their flight lands at Paris Orly in mid morning. Kimchi follows JJ as he gets on the TGV train to Marseille. She sits a couple of rows behind JJ and watches him as he falls asleep. As the train approaches Gare de Lyon station, JJ is sound asleep. Kimchi quickly grabs his backpack with his laptop and camera in it and heads for the door.

She takes the next train back to Paris and then heads home to Vegas.

Scene 5: Back at her apartment in Vegas a couple of nights ago, Kimchi texts Asghar; “I have a present for you honey. I have JJ’s computer with all his files. Call me.”
Asghar calls Kimchi and tells her that he would drive to Vegas from LA in the afternoon and will be at her place right after she gets off her shift at The Wynn.

That night Kimchi and Asghar rekindled their romance. She told him that she did this to prove her love for him. Asghar played along, but revenge was the only thing on his mind. He was thrilled to have JJ’s computer with all the admin passwords and access to everything. He quickly connected to the Iranian.com hosting company and started deleting files and crashing the system. In a matter of minutes he wiped out years of Iranian.com archives. All those Iranian of the Day models by Ghormeh Sabzie were gone. So were all those 1970’s clips from the Royal family by Dariush Kadivar.

Asghar Ghaatel was elated! He finally took his revenge.

Around 4 am Asghar got out of the bed and started putting his shirt on.
Kimchi woke up, “Where are you going?”
Asghar: “I am sorry I have to go.”
Kimchi: “After all of this, you are going to walk out on me? I won’t let you do it.”

As Asghar tried to leave, Kimchi grabbed on to him and started hitting him. Asghar pushed her off. She fell down and hit the back of her head against the glass table. Asghar panicked and left her apartment, not knowing what had just happened.

Final Scene: LAPD arrests Asghar Ghaatel outside a chelo-kabobi in Westwood.

Grissom: “I am going to have an extra gojeh with my koobideh today!”


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Anahid Hojjati

This is hilarious and has some elements of truth

by Anahid Hojjati on

Dear Faramarz, I loved your sense of humor. Your writeup, even though fictional but has elements of truth such as some non-Iranian ladies being attracted to this site and getting interested in some of the bloggers. However, our bloggers are much nicer than Asghar Ghaatel. I liked how you related JJ's computer getting lost to your story. Great job.