Jahanshah Javid
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Ohhh, she said yes!
17-Nov-2007
I posted a "poem" a few days ago, which I think it's pretty decent compared to the cheese bomb that's about fly into your face. I wrote this (ehhm) "poem" 18 years ago. I was no teenager. I was how old? 27. This is no poem. This is a very private moment when you are not thinking of anyone other than the object of your affection. You are not thinking that this will be published some day (that may not be entirely true; why did I save it?), that it would be mercilessly judged -- especially on these pages! I myself was laughing pretty hard as I was typing it. I mean it's so embarrassing on so many levels. What saves it though is that I meant every word. It's the honest zoozeh of a heartbroken man. (Never mind he was back in love a few months later!)
... I need to poke fun at myself. It keeps me semi-sane.
Burned
Ohhh, she said yes,
God bless
She'll have tea
With me
Ohhh, I didn't know,
Her conscience,
Was as pure as snow
I couldn't guess,
Her heart,
Was humanity's nest
Ohhh, what poetry
Ahhh, what prose
Ohhh, I touched her dark shining hair
More did I dare,
I felt her warm eyes
I kissed her cold hands
Ohhh, after years and years,
There were no more fears,
For loneliness,
I shed no more tears
Ohhh, goodbye my ruined home
Ahhh, hello my precious stone
**
Ohh, was she mine?
Or was it a crime?
God give me time
I see the Devil's sign
Ooh, I did it
Aah, I begged her consent
Ooh, I as so proud
Flying in thick cloud
The bright sun, the wise moon
Neither could same from doom
**
Ooh, "Tell me now,"
I told my love,
"Don't let me down,
Hold me, hold me
My love."
Oooh, no,
Oooh, no, no, please
Aaah, no,
Aaah, no, no, I'm down on my knees
Ooooh, ooooh
It was true
It was through
She turned away
She had nothing to say
Ooooooh, the fire's burning me
Aaaaaah, can anyone hear me?
Burned to the bone
Burned to the bone.
21 May 1989
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JJ I always enjoy your
by Honest_Opinion (not verified) on Sun Nov 18, 2007 01:19 AM PSTJJ I always enjoy your writings here but between the 2 of us in this poem you sound totally like a horney rooster. I hope at the end of all your adventures there was a happy ending. I admire your courrage to share this with us.
PARHAM NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
by Rosie T. on Sat Nov 17, 2007 09:55 PM PSTDON'T give him any ideas! He'll start churning out more of these!
The one about the BRIDGE
and the POMEGRANATE
and the GREEN LAUGHTER
and the PILLOW
IS A MUUCH BETTER POEM!
Hahahahahahaa, Laughing soooooo out loud it hurts!
Misoosam! Misoosam! miboooooooooosam..etoon!
Rosie
Kidding?
by Parham on Sat Nov 17, 2007 08:59 PM PSTI actually liked this one better than the other. Much, much better. In fact, this is a frikkin' good poem! Damn...
Blitz me. Blitz me again! :-)
You Are So lucky!
by Concerend Iranian (not verified) on Sat Nov 17, 2007 08:51 PM PSTAren't you lucky you have a day job? Imagine if you actually had to make a living writing these poems.
love is sucks to day's love is all about money
by love is sucks (not verified) on Sat Nov 17, 2007 08:38 PM PSTthen love? In past years in Canada love for me is kind of the sucks most women here in Canada are like hoockers they are looking for money not love
oh I love you with my hart
oh my beauti...
oh come on man nice dreams you guys have here
Rosie T. I shall have to search out your blog.....
by Sasha on Sat Nov 17, 2007 08:38 PM PSTHey! That is awesome news indeed. I shall check it out. I did see your comments on that letter from a Bahai to the leader of Iran. It is sure turning into a heated discussion but very interesting.
Catch you later.....
PS The greatest love poem I ever wrote:
by Rosie T. on Sat Nov 17, 2007 08:25 PM PSTLove me leave me love me leave me
Love me leave me love me leave me
Love me leave me love me leave me
La la la la la....
(It sounds best when read out loud).
Gertrude Stein
SAAASHAAAAAAAAAA,, I WROTE A BLOG!!!!!!!!!
by Rosie T. on Sat Nov 17, 2007 08:21 PM PSTI wrote it last week. It's called Ruhollah and Me. It was featured. Check it out. I also wrote a lot today under the article on Keshavarz, More than Lolita in Tehran today. (AND some more stuff in our...secret...place....over the past couple of weeks :D ) .
I've been a busy little bee...
Robin
The most enchanting...
by dd (not verified) on Sat Nov 17, 2007 05:34 PM PSTThe most enchanting... amorous...romantic...
bewitching...imaginative and captivating poem I have ever happened upon in my entire life!
Hehehehe!Lol
Don't worry I've written a few of those myself way in the past... at the time it felt so real and right and apropos!
LOL...I'm sure if the love(s)of my life would see those poems
now they'd be coughing up huge bubbles with laughter!
Rosie T. when will you...........:o)
by Sasha on Sat Nov 17, 2007 03:04 PM PSTSo Rosie when shall ye write a blog. I would like to see what interests you so.
Yes, it has been a long time since we chatted. I still think of you. I have a couple of passively written blogs in the works that I will post next month. :o)
Best wishes
Aaah, zanincanadai, don't you know that men like jj...
by Rosie T. on Sat Nov 17, 2007 02:11 PM PSTALWAYS fall back in love in no time? The hyperactive ones...they need to keep moving...
0:D
JJ, A little too much aaah
by n.zanincanadai1 (not verified) on Sat Nov 17, 2007 12:51 PM PSTJJ,
A little too much aaah ooooh. But it works so well. Such a rythm and flow to it. Have you heard that one that goes something like this:
Hanuz ham 3 shanbeha,
kenaare nardehaayeh baagh
man entezaar meekesham?
I am pretty sure I have it wrong but it's close. Anyway, your poem totally reminded me of that one. Yours is more optimistic...I wish you hadn't said you were back in love in no time.
Sasha!
by Rosie T. on Sat Nov 17, 2007 09:47 AM PSTI miss you!
Rosie
How sweet.........:o)
by Sasha on Sat Nov 17, 2007 09:25 AM PSTHow sweet tis the poem indeed.
Seriously, it is rare to see a man express his affection for his beloved one. Even more rare for him to share it with the world. Naziy is right. I posted two poems I wrote and deleted them a couple of weeks later because they were just so personal. Rosie T, knows all about them. :o) Even my family was shocked to see them. Apparently, people seem to think I am void of passion.
It is good to see this side of an Iranian man. He feels, he loves, he hopes, and he is not void of passion. :o)
Rosie T. is right JJ's poems are getting better and he should be encouraged to continue this aspect of his life.
Courageous
by Nazy Kaviani on Sat Nov 17, 2007 08:04 AM PSTThough I am not an expert on the subject, I suspect there might be several things lacking with your poem's form, flow, and content. However, I think whatever it lacks is easily compensated by the heart that wrote it. I give you a good mark for romantic effort, as it is so endearing and surprising to see men express their feelings. I also give you a lot of credit for your courage for pulling out something you wrote when you were so young and sharing it now. Many of us would push "delete" on things we wrote only last week, let alone 18 years ago!
I wonder...
by Midwesty on Sat Nov 17, 2007 07:50 AM PSTwhat you meant about "the wise moon"?
...and yes I said yes I will Yes.
by Rosie T...... (not verified) on Sat Nov 17, 2007 07:35 AM PSTThe ending of Molly Bloom's soliloquy, her stream of consciousness memory of when she agreed to marry Leopold, the closing words of James Joyce's "Ulysses":
"...I was a Flower of the mountain yes when I put the rose in my hair like the Andalusian girls used or shall I wear a red yes and how he kissed me under the Moorish wall and I thought well as well him as another and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes. "
Your poetry is definitely getting better!
Nistam
by Daryush on Sat Nov 17, 2007 06:57 AM PSTmo keh nistom. haalo kako ino khodet niveshti yaa az jaayee zedi? beh hagh e faatemeye zahara keh asan khub nabu. asan nagi sanginteri
my opinion
by Mina (not verified) on Sat Nov 17, 2007 06:40 AM PSTWell, it started very badly, then in went even worse
in the middle and ended terribly, but other than
that it was very good.
estefragh
by An65 (not verified) on Sat Nov 17, 2007 04:46 AM PST...that is the only word that can descrbe this!