Jahanshah Javid

President Barack Obama's inauguration speech, Washington DC, January 20, 2009:

My fellow Americans,

I stand here today with a great sense of pride as your 44th president. It has been a long, difficult and tremendously rewarding journey. But here we are, together, as the greatest nation the world has ever seen; a nation that has spread more hope, joy and freedom than any in human history. Look around the world. Look at our international community of nations in every corner of the world. What system of government has become the universal standard for achieving the greatest human potential of every citizen regardless of race, religion or belief?

Today all governments are measured according to how democratic they are, how much freedom their citizens enjoy, equality between men and women, freedom of speech, thought, religion and political participation, rule of law, separation of church and state and the pursuit of happiness. These are all rights and values we have practiced and perfected for over two centuries. We have been so successful that every other nation wants to be like us or surpass us in practicing democracy.

I believe we can maintain our democratic values and continue to be an inspiration to a world that is thirsty for freedom and prosperity. Together, as Democrats, Republicans and every other citizen of this great nation, we can correct any missteps and diversions from what is good, right and rightful. We can repair any uncertainties about our standing in the world and reassure our friends and allies and reaffirm our commitment to human rights in every aspect of our foreign and domestic affairs.

At a time when terrorists employ every means to commit senseless murder and destruction, the United States of America will take the strongest, most effective actions to deter and confront their evil ways while adhering to the highest ethical standards. Terrorists have no respect for human life and dignity. We do. That is our difference; a distinction that should always be perfectly clear and unambiguous to our friends and citizens.

It is these noble human values that have brought us to this critical point in history. It is these moral values that ended slavery and freed women. It is these liberating practices that allow every person to grow and reach his or her highest potential. I have the honor to be your president today only because of our respect and belief in democratic values, regardless of race, gender or faith. My mother and I are Christian, my father an African Muslim. My middle name is Hussein. Many had doubts that a person of African decent could ever become the president of the United States. Not I. I have always had complete faith in our democracy. And despite all the odds, it did not let you and I down.

Now come let us celebrate our freedom. I invite all of you gathered here on this chilly day in the nation's capital to join me on the White House lawn and share a hearty meal to keep us warm and strengthen our bond as Americans. I am delighted that the best chefs from Hosseiniyeh Meydoon e Shoosh have agreed to cook the world's tastiest Gheymeh Nazri with the freshest ingredients, including 5,000 sheep and 1,000 camels. Nah! Just kidding, just kidding... there were no camels sacrificed for this magnificent feast. Gheymeh is only made with lamb. Only the enemies of Imam Hussein cook Gheymeh with camel meat. Savages! All together now... let me hear you loud and clear... YAA HOSSEIN e MAZLOOM ... (cry hear) ... YAA SEYYED o SHOHADAA ... (cry louder) ... boo hoo hoo...

At this point Ahmadinejad wakes up from his dream.