Never give up hope

Balatarin
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Never give up hope
by javaneh29
01-Dec-2008
 

As some of you may know, Im not Iranian by birth but lets say I grew up in Iran. The family that kind of adopted me there became lost to me in the aftermath of the revolution when we, like many families had no choice but flee Iran. The last time I saw them was in Spain in the early 80's. With me in the UK and them somewhere unknown to me, for my own protection, and we became lost to each other for the best part of nearly 26 years. I had given up hope of ever finding them again and that feeling of loss cast a deep shadow over my life. I was constantly and ever aware that I was missing something and have spent much time trying to track them down all over europe and the US.

I assumed they had changed their name and this was why I was unable to find them. I never quite could accept that I would never find them and remained consummed with the possibility that I might if I kept looking. I never stopped looking in all these years.

You have to understand that my family there took me into their lives without hesitation, prejudice, or any expectations and guided through childhood with unconditional love to becoming a woman. I love them dearly for everything they gave of themselves. My amo was a gentle, kind, patient and wise man, who always had time for me and everyone. Ameh was loving, my guide through life there, I learnt so much from her about everything. My cousins were my friends and companions, teaching me farsi albeit with much hilarity over my mistakes! They gave me the family had I never had and had always dreamed a loving family could be. Hardly a day went by that I didnt see them. I cant describe what they mean to me and I couldnt believe they hadnt been looking for me and my family either.

You may recall I wrote a blog about the Shahs generals ... amo was a timsar in the Imperial Army. I hoped somethng might come out of that and Ebi Jaan, you were so very helpful pointing me to military sites, which I trawled through but without much luck.

Last Saturday night, sleepless as I often am, hubbie z'ing the night away, I sat on the net for hours and I finally found a link.... a photo in a zartusti newsletter, of a woman that looked like what I thought ameh would look like 30 years on. I felt inspired and carried delving into the very wee hours. I kept looking at this picture and I knew it was ameh.

I sadly learnt that my amo had died 4 years ago and this was bitter news. But true to his nature he had spent his years in exile, helping others immigrate all over the world, built a zartushti temple and much more. It was just like him and I cried some for the loss of such a great man and that I would never again see him. I hope he knew what he meant to me.

 I found more and more info and convinced it was them, I sent an email to who I thought was one of my cousins children on facebook of all places!!!" It has its uses afterall. I explained I a was related and asked them to pass on my contact details to their parents and aunts and uncles and grandmother.

The next day I had an email from my little Shirin who was 10 last time I saw her. She said 'Im really sorry but I dont remember you' and I emailed her right back and told her yes you do know me and sent her one of the few pictures I have. Within minutes she wrote back, crying, saying they had searched for all this time for me and had given up hope. They had even kept a jacket I had bought amo 26 years ago. Then the emails came flooding in from my cousins!!! OMG I couldnt stop crying and laughing at the same time. My little Shirin called ameh who was 'shreiking' down the phone with excitement. It was a very emotional few hours.

We're going to get together real soon and I cant wait to be reunited with them. I just cant wait. I want to go now!!!!!! right this minute!! I have some pictures of them now and and its if these last nearly 30 years never existed.

So I say never give up on something you believe in! And the internet is a wonderful place. Im a very happy Javaneh :)

Balatarin
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Wow

by Bahareh (not verified) on Wed Dec 03, 2008 08:04 PM PST

Javaneh jan,
Your story made me cry but it was a happy cry. I am truly glad for you. Wow, a British born and yet so Irooni.

As my cousin always says to me "omidvaram hamishe khosh khabar bashi azizam".


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bajenaghe naghi

javaneh jan

by bajenaghe naghi on Tue Dec 02, 2008 11:10 PM PST

lovely story and i am so glad to read the happy ending. i hope you will see them very soon. 


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Thanks for your response

by sheila / (not verified) on Tue Dec 02, 2008 09:25 PM PST

Thanks for your response Javaneh joon. :o)

I recently met up with some old school mates and friends of long ago and we were all so overjoyed at finding each other (laughed so hard reminiscing the past that 2 of our friends F & S fell out of their chairs hanging on to each other!)
It was sooo funny, makes me laugh remembering it right now, hahaha lol!
Should have been there!
Enjoy yourselves at the reunion and congrats to your family and the young bride and groom.


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How Beautiful

by d (not verified) on Tue Dec 02, 2008 07:37 PM PST

I can't stop crying. I think we all have stories like you to tell, of separations. I only hope that we could all be united with those who we've lost touch with over the years. I'm so happy for you.


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javaneh29

Thanks for all your

by javaneh29 on Tue Dec 02, 2008 07:23 PM PST

Thanks for all your comments guys´. I cant tell you what a joy it is. I spoke to my cousin today and it was as if those years disappeared. We are making plans to meet up asap.

Sheila .. Its a long story but the basics are this: Im british born to british parents. My childhood was not such a happy one and at 16 I ran away to Iran and never came back . I had a friend there.

I met my first husband there and we married and these are his family but they took me into their lives and gave me all the love I never had from family before.  I was more like a daughter to them and they were like my parents .. trully the most loving people. I lived there for 4 years until the revolution. And in those four years I grew up with the support of the family behind me. It was the first time I knew what family was all about.

From this point on I adopted Iran as  it had adopted me and moulded my life.. so to speak. I dont consider myself british although I have a brit passport, I have an irani one too!

Hope that answers some of the questions! I am proud to be able to tell this story as it is a tribute to my amo and ameh and my cousins. My name is Javaneh in real life, not a screen name.

And American wife yes the wedding was wonderful and my daughter looked radiant. If I can ever work out how to upload more then picture I will post some.

Javaneh


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American Wife

what a delightful story!!

by American Wife on Tue Dec 02, 2008 10:30 AM PST

Definitely brought a smile to my face and a lift in my heart.  I am so happy for you!

How about the wedding?  Has it come and gone already?  Keep us posted!!!

:-)


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cannot imagine how you feel right now!!

by Sheila / (not verified) on Tue Dec 02, 2008 07:37 AM PST

Javaneh joon,

I'm So happy for you, cannot imagine how you feel right now!!
If you don't mind: are you British or from another country and just ended up living in the UK after the revolution, and how come you ended up in Iran with ammeh and amoo and the cousins??
( this may be too personal a question, but you give a little info and not much else, makes one wonder...
By the way we only know you as Javaneh and we'd hardly be able to recognize you by your picture if we were to meet, so your privacy is still safe!)
Obviously feel free not to answer if you don't want to!

Makes one wonder chi shod, ki bood, chetor shod?
--like one quarter of a story!

The very best of luck at your reunion I'm sure there is going to be a lot of hugghing and kissing and laughter going on!


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Nazy Kaviani

What a great story!

by Nazy Kaviani on Mon Dec 01, 2008 10:40 PM PST

Javaneh Jan:

What a great story and what a happy ending! I feel so inspired now to go look for people I lost many years ago! Please share your photographs and stories when you do get together. I'm so buzzed now!


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ebi amirhosseini

Javaneh Jaan !!

by ebi amirhosseini on Mon Dec 01, 2008 07:26 PM PST

So happy for you! As the Farsi saying goes:Jooyandeh,Yaabandeh ast!.

Sad news that Timsaar has passed away,what an irony, the hospital he was in before his death is 2 min away from my home!.Have not talked to my Dad yet,but I'm sure of the connection.

Happy reunion my new found Hamshahri !


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Darius Kadivar

Wonderful !

by Darius Kadivar on Mon Dec 01, 2008 06:22 PM PST

Here is to You Javaneh Jan and your loved ones to be reunited again.

Beautiful story you should maybe one day write a book about your experiences.

Kisses to you all,

DK


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