Americans Suck Dick For Gas Money

Kalvoks daily Dombalan. (VLAD'S DAILY GLOAT)

A Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office spokesman says
43-year-old Kelli Still appeared at the home of an acquaintance near
University Drive and Ellsworth Road. Deputies claim Still intended to
barter oral sex for gas money. Instead, Still is accused of using a
pair of scissors to stab Michael Hamilton several times.

When deputies arrived, both Still and Hamilton were
bloody. Still was eventually booked in the 4th Avenue Jail on
aggravated assault charges.

What happened to the country that is the
"world's only superpower"? In just a couple of years you went from
"world's policemen" to "world's clowns" to your new role as "world's
train station whores." For guys like me, or French people like Gilles,
or just about anybody on this planet who hates your dumbfuck guts, you
give us free comedy entertainment every day. And if I am eating a
business lunch and I decide, "I think I want my dick sucked now," then
I know that I only need to call up some American woman, offer her gas
money, which for people who earn money in real currencies like the Euro
or Ruble, gasoline is not all that expensive, so that means a blowjob
from an American woman is also just pocket change for us.

Really, don't you Americans even have one drop of dignity? It
hurts to live in an empire that is collapsing, but jesus christ man,
you have to have just one little tiny milligram of dignity. No, that's
asking too much of you pigs.

The story is the perfect snapshot of America today: sucking a dick
for a tank of gasoline, then she attacked the john with some scissors
because that is all Americans know how to do: either on their knees
sucking a dick, or with a knife trying to kill you. What a bunch of
fucking animals, we should sterilize you freaks. The end of this story
is perfect: the dick-sucker is now in jail, and the whole world is
laughing at her, just like we laugh at the loser America.

And I thought it was funny when the bloodthirsty retard George
Bush told his retarded countrymen that the 5-year war in Iraq is "worth it,"
and the man is not attacked by angry mobs and set on fire. No mobs,
because Americans are too passive, too brainwashed, too peasant-like to
argue with a bloodthirsty son of an oligarch. That is good for me, good
for Russia, good for France, good for the entire world that does not
want your fucking presence. Thank you for continuing your
self-destruction in Iraq, dumbfuckers! That means you will keep going
down the toilet, piece by piece, into the sewer of history where you
belong. I only wonder how long the smell you made will linger.

--Vlad Kalashnikov