My Unusual encounter with Madame R!


by Monda

After reading JJ's blog on his palms I thought "Hah! That's something I have never considered in my adult life!" - therefore would qualify as my novel experience of the week (I have put myself on a schedule with novel experiences due to my obsession with premature death). I also thought if a respectable intelligent person such as JJ considers palm reading Fun then I should at least give it a try.

The other day I made an appointment with the only Palm Reader listed in my Yellow Pages. Mapquesting her address it was a mere 35 minute drive. The conscientious fuel-user that I am I thought I should take a friend along. It was a tricky process who to invite for the ride - someone who had nothing better to do at that time of the day - who would not laugh at my crazy idea! Also thought I would get "a better deal" on two readings rather than one. The frail voice on the phone did not quote me a price; she wanted to get to know me first. I put my oldest jeans, the blandest black sweater and old boots, no earrings, no ring. I asked her on the phone about internet connection at her place (so I could type her revelations as I deemed necessary). She said there was. She gave me her version to her address, suggesting to call her in case I get lost or find bad traffic. Four phone calls to her and finally speaking to her daughter, I arrived an hour late. The turns she had mentioned, I later discovered, did not exist since the 80's.

I parked my daughter's Toyota (thinking if she saw my VW I may be slightly overcharged) in the narrow covered drive way behind this spotless shiny white SUV. The house is white 1950's style ranch with about a dozen antique gnomes of various sizes at the entrance. I rang the white old bell while squeezing my laptop under my arm. After a minute this small-framed 90 something lady in colorful flowery patio dress under a pink flannel robe, with many necklaces, rings and earrings opened the door for me. With a sweet smile she confirmed that finding her place can be frustrating. Her piercing once-brown-eyes behind the gold color faux designer frames penetrated every inch of me. Pointing to my laptop, she clarified there was a Net connection, but typing, writing or recording were restricted. As she guides me to the seat within a foot of the entrance door, I was feeling scrutinized by 20 pairs of Jesus and Mary eyes. She touched my shoulder. I looked up from the saints, "you are a good person with a heart of gold, I won't charge you my regular $200"... $200??!!

I'm sorry Madame R, I didn't know how much you charged, on the phone when I asked... "

I know what I said on the phone... you work hard and have a daughter you are worried about, plus Christmas is coming and you need to buy gifts for relatives and friends... you give everyone so much, you need to give yourself more"... Feeling speechless I looked up at her...."So how much did you bring with you?"

"Umm 40? "

Then almost whispering her sweet crackling voice in my left ear, "Why do you worry so much for your daughter, you have done very well ... she'll be just fine" ...

My knees instantly locked at 90 degrees while sitting on that white patio chair offered to me under the gaze of the Saints. Holding my sweaty palms she chuckled, "Why are you so worried about death? you will live a Long happy life!... Look at these lines, you'll live to be about 100 without hardly any health problems"...

My face so lit up that I could feel the heat myself. That was the best relief I had felt in weeks - reminder of few intense emotional/ physical soothers of late. She continued "You have reason to worry right now, but things will be just fine, Soon... you're living around so much anger... but that paper will be signed soon, like next year or so, you'll walk out of this mess nicely ... right now you need to stay put but you don't need to carry all the anger from your husband for too long... he's old enough to take care of himself ... there's Nothing you can do for him... he is afraid and angry about losing you ... But you need spiritual cleansing then you will know that you need to pay more attention to your self".

Finally I could ask, "Spiritual cleansing? What do you mean Madame R?"

She replied, "You never had anyone who gave you the love and attention that you needed... your Mother, where is she right now?"

"In East Bay? why?"

"Well she was never there for you and is not here for you now... your father loved you very much but he was always in a smoke... Yes you miss him very much but he was always in a smoke....."

"In a smoke? what does that mean Madame R? ..."

"Oh I don't know, I see that he was always in smoke, in a fog?... don't know". (My dad used to be a chain-smoker, severe gambler and a workaholic. But I remained quiet for more.)

I wanted to know more about my future.

"You were born with lucky signs, see these lines?....."

I translated: I will never be poor because I "have a heart of gold"... she saw lots of gold around me, "do you have a lot of gold?

"I was thinking of the panj pahlavis that presumably my mom has kept for me in Iran, and some old gold jewelry that's sitting in my old jewelry boxes."

She continues, "you don't need to worry about money... you touch people like an angle and that feels like gold to you and them...."

I suddenly felt like embracing this incredibly sweet woman. She hugged me back gently.

She continued, "you have not been loved the way you deserved it but there is a man who will give you all the love you have missed in your life. You and him love to travel, will plan many happy things with your daughters around....."

"Madame R I only have one real daughter, my stepdaughter hasn't really spoken to me for a year?"

"I don't know I see two real daughters around you and grandchildren... you and your man will always be true to each other, you know what I mean? You will be always truthful to each other... very happy times.. nothing in the past matters anymore. He has a good head..., this man is very wise and unlike you he is very stubborn and patient ... doesn't show his emotions for you but does care for you a lot ".

"Another marriage? another daughter? I'm 53!"

"You don't look 53 to me... honey age doesn't matter... I don't know what marriage is, when a woman and a man give their souls to each other that's marriage to me, when you give your souls to each other... you know what I mean? you need spiritual cleansing... call me when you're ready". "You have lived in a unhappy marriage for a long time because you don't know what it means....".

No debate there, after 19 years.

"Some of the friendly people around you right now are jealous of you, be careful, only stick with your Real friends and you know who they are... these jealous people may hurt you... use your head, not your heart all the time... you're too trusting and impatient (I consider myself one of the most patient people I know! What is she talking about?!)... Don't rush, you will live a very long life! You will see that man soon and will go on many trips together... he's different, he loves you, you'll see..."

Smiling Madame R wished me a happy holiday. "Come see me again some time, maybe with your man next time... now go before the very bad traffic and fog". I hope she remains well and lucid until "My Man" comes along :o)

On the 101 ramp there was a 3 car accident right after I exited at a 7/11 for gum. I looked up at the clear sky and the beautiful full moon. No Fog - until I arrived home. 


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more from Monda

Dear KM

by Monda on

I say go for it, indulge us!

khaleh mosheh

Dear Monda,

by khaleh mosheh on

Thanks for a wonderful story. Your Madame R sure sounds wonderful. 

I considered writing about my visit to a Madame R- (not a Palm reader but a lesbian transexual)- Yes it was a lonely time of my life. 

But I am worried that my account may be blocked and the whole thing turned out to be a disappointing flop anyway. This coupled with my story telling abilities being mediocre on a good day has stopped me doing so and quit whilst I am in front.


divaneh, she was simply impressed with my pure energy

by Monda on

Madame R is more of a psychic than a palm reader really.

She told me a lot more Personal stuff, hence not included in my blog. 


Good deal

by divaneh on

She said all those things for 40 bucks? That's a bloody good deal. Most fortune tellers wouldn't go more than two weeks in the future for that amount, never mind 47 years.


baare digeh baa ham - yaa inja yaa LA

by Monda on

Wait! You weren't supposed to be in town, remember darling?!  



by sima on

Why didn't you call me? I've always wanted to go to a fortune teller.

A few years ago I went to one with my step daughter but was so frigid and tight-lipped the poor fortune teller couldn't find anything to say to me. She must have wondered why the hell I bothered if I was going to sit there like a lump of dead wood. I paid $40 too.

But I want to go to another one. Call me next time for chrissake.

Yeah, and how did she know you had a daughter and that your dad has died? And yes I see the lucky stars too. You're going to be very successful in an unusual career. And you're going to help me!


Ari! That's exactly what my daughter suggested!

by Monda on

I not only envy your math skills but admire your sense of humor :o)) And story telling.


MPD didn't we already establish your little math dyslexia?

by Monda on

How do we know she wasn't projecting her own desire for doing acid with a man, onto me?


ID joon, burst my bubble haa why don't you?

by Monda on

You're right in figuring out her generic vocabulary.  I was wondering about that too.  With her time span in this profession she must have picked up some emotionally triggering words.

I don't know if I'd go to Her any time soon.  But my cousin in NY was telling me that he has a reader that he really believes in. 


merssee Shazde!

by Monda on

khastegi safar az tanetoon be dar rafteh enshallah?  If so please write a longer story next time.

Ari Siletz

Wonderful story

by Ari Siletz on

Monda, please go back to Madame R and this time let her tell you about your second daughter and this man who will take you on a journey. Then tell us the story in your blog.

Here's a fortune teller story: In my twenties, a fortune teller told me she sees me sitting in a very fancy chair ready to receive a crown of 18 carat gold. I laughed then and I tried to laugh again many years later, but my mouth was numb with novocaine at the time.

Multiple Personality Disorder

You're 53!

by Multiple Personality Disorder on

I thought you were 35!  Forget about the trip then!


Disclaimer:  This comment is a joke and should not be taken seriously.

Descargo de responsabilidad: Este comentario es una broma y no debe ser tomado en serio.

Avertissement: Ce commentaire est une blague et ne doit pas être pris au sérieux.



by IRANdokht on

Monda jan

We have so many palm readers in this area, I couldn't just pick one out of the yellow pages, but if I did I hope she turns out as sweet and friendly as your Madame R :o)

Except for "your daughter" comment, most of what she said sounds a little too generic. Your face already shows how sweet you are. Most of the people can tell a person's warmth by their body language and the look in their eyes, so she didn't have to guess too hard there, but how did she know you have a daughter?

I would have gone with you if we didn't live this far :o)


Shazde Asdola Mirza

I know that at least one part is true

by Shazde Asdola Mirza on

"... you touch people like an angle and that feels like gold to you and them ..."