Niki Tehranchi
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Language Decoder Part II
03-Jul-2010
Language Decoder – Part II
I wrote a while back about real estate agent double speak. You know, the kind where you read about a house with “an old world feeling” and then upon actual, physical inspection, the only “feeling” you get is that you need to replace the plumbing.
Here is my version of the Husband Language Decoder. Maybe you will recognize some of the following expressions and their real meanings in your own relationship. And if you have other examples, please feel free to share! Oh and if any of you gentlemen like to come up with Wife Language Decoder, I would like to read that too :-)
What Hubby says: I'm on the freeway, I 'll be home in 15 minutes.
What Hubby means: I still haven't left the office, I'll be home when the dinner is burnt.
What Hubby says: Do you need me to pick up anything before I come home?
What Hubby means: I am trying to figure out if tonight is "vegetarian night" so I can stop by In-n-Out Burger before I get home.
What Hubby says: I'm scared to hurt the baby, wait til she's a little bigger, I'll feel more comfortable with her.
What Hubby means: There is no way in hell I am getting up in the middle of the night to change her.
What Hubby says: Have you seen my green with white polka dot tie?
What Hubby means: I expect you to get up from bed, put on your glasses, turn on the light and help me look for this missing item at 11:59 p.m.
What Hubby says: There is an important legal conference I must attend in Las Vegas.
What Hubby means: There is an important PPPPPAAAARRRRTTTTAAAAAYYYY TTTTIIIMMMMEEEEE I mus attend in Las Vegas.
What Hubby says: Oh that's great news that your mom is coming for a visit.
What Hubby means: Time for me to go to an important legal conference in Las Vegas!!!
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I added some more based on one of Natalie's poems ;-)
by Anonymouse on Mon Jul 19, 2010 12:38 PM PDTI am YOU
Everything is sacred
He says, I think I may be getting arthritis in my hands
by Niki Tehranchi on Wed Jul 07, 2010 09:18 AM PDTHe means No, I don't want to give you a massage!
Disappointing referees
by Niki Tehranchi on Tue Jul 06, 2010 02:32 PM PDTI don't remember there being so many bad calls in previous WCs. Referees need to come to 21st century and start using instant replay already!
Disappointed my dear?!!
by Monda on Tue Jul 06, 2010 08:44 AM PDTI thought many teams including Holland, Germany, US, Brazil, UK, ... played Beautifully! OK I admit I was disappointed by some teams (Italy for example OR Argentina) but it was still really nice experience to watch them play. I hope next WC, you get to create the proper ambience to thoroughly enjoy yourself. (I have no feeling or patience for baseball either, too bland for me... perhaps you and hubby can swap child caring during your favorite sports?)
Disappointing World Cup
by Niki Tehranchi on Mon Jul 05, 2010 04:16 PM PDTDear Monda: In our household believe it or not, I am the only WC fan. Hubby only lives and breathes for the Lakers and Dallas Cowboys. I joke (well half-joke) that the only reason he proposed to me is because he was bored, during the summer holidays, where it 's after the end of the NBA champiosnhip and before the beginning of NFL, and the only thing left is boring boring baseball. But what a disappointment the WC was this time around :(
The Battle for the Remote
by Niki Tehranchi on Mon Jul 05, 2010 04:12 PM PDTDear Anonymouse: that one my hubby actually does to me. Never mind that I pretty much only follow one show religiously once a week, hiding away in another room, trying to be really quiet, hoping that he will manage for one hour with the kids without me. But he always manages to find me and ask me in that passive aggressive way of his: What are you watching? Oh man, I can't think of any question that is more loaded than that one in a married household hahaha
The Mrs are we married to the same guy?
by Niki Tehranchi on Mon Jul 05, 2010 04:08 PM PDTIt's uncanny :-)
Here is a funny clip from Ray Romano talking about the excuses he makes to get out of the house (Anyone need some DMV registration? Anyone needs to sign up for jury duty?):
//www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBTDFEpsTRU
(The kids part starts at 1:15)
We NEVER go dancing
by Anonymouse on Mon Jul 05, 2010 03:22 PM PDTShe means we're going dancing tonight!
Everything is sacred
What are you watching?
by Anonymouse on Mon Jul 05, 2010 03:21 PM PDTShe means change the channel!
Everything is sacred
hope your friends enjoy watching the reruns of world cup
by Monda on Mon Jul 05, 2010 01:25 PM PDTwife meaning: if you won't let me watch the games, then get together with your friends elsewhere.
Oh and... he says: I'll
by TheMrs on Mon Jul 05, 2010 12:50 PM PDTOh and...
he says: I'll do it later
he means: keep dreaming, I'm not cleaning the garage anytime soon.
He says: Do you need me to
by TheMrs on Mon Jul 05, 2010 12:48 PM PDTHe says: Do you need me to go to the grocery store to get anything?
He means: Give me an excuse to leave the house and have some "me time". I really don't want to get involved in who had what first and who isn't sharing what with whom.
I've learned: To race for the car myself so I can go to the store for some "me time".
He says: Don't worry, I'll take the kids out to the park. No problem
He means: I'll take them out now, so later when I want to watch TV and relax, I can say "hey, I took them out, it's your turn to put them to sleep".
I've learned: To say, ok but you're still putting them to sleep, it's your night. (clarify from the start)
yay! marital bliss.
We need to socialize more...
by Niki Tehranchi on Mon Jul 05, 2010 10:18 AM PDT...with MY friends, I am tired of YOUR friends :o)
We need to socialize more
by Anonymouse on Mon Jul 05, 2010 07:07 AM PDTShe means the in-laws are coming over!
Everything is sacred
Don't sleep in too much you won't be able to sleep tonight
by Anonymouse on Mon Jul 05, 2010 07:05 AM PDTShe means I've planned a day full of activities!
Everything is sacred
You don't express your feelings!
by Anonymouse on Mon Jul 05, 2010 07:04 AM PDTShe means I'm bored!
Everything is sacred
Hubby says I took the kid out today
by Niki Tehranchi on Sun Jul 04, 2010 04:37 PM PDTHubby means, I put him in his car seat and drove around aimlessly for an hour
:)
LOL
by Latina on Sun Jul 04, 2010 02:41 PM PDThahahahaha
I will have to participate later!
by Anonymouse on Sun Jul 04, 2010 02:27 PM PDTSorry no time now but how about one for now:
What are we doing this weekend?
Hubby means, stay home watch world cup, wifey means go to mountains first, beach second, fireworks third, shopping fourth, .... ;-)
Everything is sacred
:)
by R2-D2 on Sat Jul 03, 2010 07:50 PM PDT//www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzwhH83W-fo