Here's why I'll be with my girlfriend tonight and not my wife.
Two phone calls this afternoon:
Me: Hey sweetie, my mom called and she wants the kids to stay over tonight. What do you say I pick up a bottle of wine and we open up the hottub.
Wife: No, John, you know Tuesdays are difficult days. I had carpool this morning and I'm just too tired. . . .
Me: Hey sugar, you want to get a drink tonight after work?
Girlfriend: Why don't we just go to my place?
My wife reads in the kitchen until I fall asleep to avoid having sex with me, or if I am not tired, she waits until I am in the shower and then gets into bed and goes to sleep.
Prior to marriage: Real sex is unequivocal to anything else, including food and oxygen. Porn is only there if you're in-between girls. Up to four years of marriage: Sex is great and when you finish with the foreplay (usually 30 minutes of begging), you have a pretty good time. Porn is okay
After four or more years of marriage: Sex = Been there, done that, nothing new. Porn is now the better since at least you're seeing something new and fresh. Sorry girls, we love you forever, but even eating steak and lobster gets old if you do it too much.
My take on marriage: It's a great way to complicate an otherwise amicable business relationship with sex.
I can remember my last blowjob like it was yesterday. Actually it was six years ago the day before I got married. Sex then was four to five times a week. Now I have a four year old son who sleeps in my bed with my wife more nights a week than I do. Sex now maybe once a month. Triple that for vacation sex. I have noticed that the rate goes up for a short period of time but drops off quickly when large purchases are made (house, Landrover, shopping sprees, new floors, etc). I am thirty eight, not happy, and slowly methodically plotting my way out. I always love the look in the eyes of my friends who say that won't happen to them.
When we were changing for the reception after the wedding and I tried to kiss her (and after 3 years of mind-bending sex), my wife of 45 minutes said "No more of that. We're married now."
My wife was a frigid, shriveled bitch. Before we were married, we had plenty of sex, but as soon as we passed the six month mark after our wedding, she stopped being interested. My wife only fucks when she "feels sexy." Translation: when I give her jewellery. She is just a withered old bag at the age of 35.
My granddad told me an insightful story before my wedding. He said for the first year of marriage to put a penny in a jar every time I had sex with my wife. Starting in year two, take out two pennies every time we had sex. He said there'd be money in the jar when I died. I think he's going to be right.
I've been married 15 years and my wife and I have lived most of that as brother and sister. There has been no sex AT ALL for the last four years. Get a girlfriend or get used to it. Marriage is all about learning how to do without sex.
My wife reached a point where she only uses sex to get something, and she doesn't happen to want anything at the moment.
My GF was damn good to me, in and out of the sack. We probably had sex, on average, 10-15 times a week. Anywhere and everywhere. Even a once a day BJ on average. Things were great.
That was, until we got married. A day later, everything had changed. Got it once on the honeymoon, and she told me to "hurry up and finish". When I ask her why she never initiates anything, never even flirts anymore, when she used to before, she says "I was trying to get you to marry me then".
I have been married 3 times. Yup, slooooowwww learner. Each time it was good/great sex before marriage and lucky to have any sex after the first year of marriage.
No more sex. Period. She's too busy spending my money putting traventine in the entryway, redoing the kitchen with Corian, redecorating the bedroom, having parties, and all that other shit, or talking to girlfriends incessantly about the same.
Wife is overweight, no sex, doesn't cook anything not in a can. 3 kids. I am stuck. I can't even cheat on her since we do a mail order company out of the house. No alone time, no peace.
I think I am going crazy.
Oh, another fun aspect - wife is a born again Christian, so if I bring up the sex issue she uses the bible to justify herself. I argue that, and kazam, I am Satan, and no sex for Satan. If I do not argue, no sex for me either.
I used to pay a lot for sex, like my whole salary.
Then I got a divorce and now sex is easy, fun and free!
My little sis is married and has two kids under 6 years. She says that sex to her is "just one more person wanting something from me".
I walked into a large bedroom when my wife was changing into her outfit to get on the plane to start our honeymoon, admired her gorgeous half-naked figure with a 'you wanna knock one out right here and now' look on my face, and she said, "Oh, no. None of that nonsense. We're married now." I mean she changed *instantly* from this funny happy woman into this scheming bitch who just had plans to buy and redecorate a big house and throw parties in it with my money.
Here is a typical married woman:
I give birth to your kids and you complain we don't have sex? How do you think they were born, osmosis? Who takes care of them, drives them to school, picks them up for after school activities, drives them to sports, takes them to their friends houses, plays chauffeur, cleans, cooks, goes to PTA meetings and then caters to your sorry whiney ass when you get home. To top it off after you eat, fart or burp you walk out the door and go out with your buddies.
You want sex? Go fuck yourself! I'm too tired.
Taken from //www.nomarriage.com
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