Delara and Me

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Delara and Me
by rosie is roxy is roshan
24-Apr-2009
 

Self-portrait from prison by Delara Darabi, with red symbolizing her attempted suicide.

"The paintings in front of you are not wordless images and colours, they are the painful photo realities of our life...The only face I see in front of me every day is a wall. For three years, I have been defending myself with colours, forms and words. These paintings are an oath to a crime I did not commit. Unless the colours bring me back to life, I greet you who have come to view my paintings from behind that wall."      --Delara Derabi, age 20, handwritten note posted on the wall of an exhibition of her paintings in Tehran 

I would like to pose a question, especially to the publisher of iranian.com: Who is this "our" of which Delara speaks?

 ____________________

I submit this blog completely independently of Stop Child Executions or anyone associated with them.

_____________________

As many of you are aware, three days ago I wrote a blog expressing my outrage at the clearly intentional suppression of all submissions on Delara Darabi sent to the publisher from SCE and other website members, with the exception of blogs, during the four critical days of the campaign to save her life. This began last Thursday when the day of her execution was set for Monday. and despite continued requests made by various people up to as late as Sunday, when.Delara's execution was postponed for two months, none of the materials were ever published.

//iranian.com/main/blog/rosie-roxy-roshan/leaving-here-because-delara-changes-and-self-portrait-delara

In my blog I stated my full intention to leave this website in protest of these deplorable actions and I stand by my decision. I was one of the main participants onsite in this campaign, and while I have good reason to believe there is a relationship between this past week's events and the chronic non-featuring of much of my best work, my decision to leave is a matter of conscience. To remain on this forum as a blogger, or even as just an occasional poster, would convey a message that the publisher's actions were, if not acceptable, at least somehow tolerable. They were not. As I also stated in that blog, an apology is owed to Delara, to the readership of this website who were deprived of knowledge of her desperate plight, and to the entire Iranian people, who in the past weeks have been victims of a full-scale attack on human rights on all fronts.  

As the days pass, and my state of shock abates, I have come to the view that the publication of Delara's paintings done in prison, as a photo essay, with an accompanying poem of hers, would constitute an acceptable apology. These materials were sent in on Thursday by SCE, and they were never published. In fact, when they failed to appear, I sent on Saturday to the publisher a link to his own website, where her paintings had appeared as a photo essay two years ago. And here I must stress again that Delara only appeared as Iranian of the Day late Saturday when a close friend of the publisher's sent in a separate submission. Had she not done so, Delara would not have appeared anywhere on this website except in the blogs section, where general readers very often do not go.

//iranian.com/main/2009/apr/delara-darabi

Several members have encouraged me offsite to remain here. This is not remotely possible without such an apology.  I was not raised to devote my work to a place whose management is unethical and indifferent to people's wellbeing. Especially to a place whose claims to a mission of human rights and free speech have been shown to be so hypocritcal that they can only be described as Orwellian. However, in thinking about those supportive words to me, I have realized that I do have to stay for a short time because I still have some things to do here, which are to explain in a series of blogs: 

why the campaign to save Delara is so very important, and extends far beyond "just" saving her life; what I feel the role of this website should be in this campaign and similar matters and what I feel should be the publisher's responsibility as leader of the largest online Iranian community in the world; as well as some observatons on the response of many in the regular blogging community to this campaign, including to my last blog.

So  I will stay onsite for the next couple of weeks to fulfill what I perceive as my responsibilites to this young woman, to Iran, the country which for the last several years I have been devoted to, the soul of which Delara embodies, and to this website.. For now, I post the poem she wrote that made me commit myself to her cause, before I even knew anything about her.

And ask that we all ponder, along with Delara, what is the meaning of freedom.  

تا زمانیکه آزادیم
آزادی  را آرمانی دست نیافتنی می پنداریم

و برای رسیدن به چیزی که قربانی زیر پای ماست؛

دستها یمان را دراز می کنیم

آزادی ! همیشه در بند نبودن معنا نمی دهد 

آی آدم ها ! بیایید بند های اندیشمان را بدریم ها

ودر بند ازادی نباشیم

زیرا که خود در "بند"  ماست 

TRANSLATION OF DELARA'S POEM

While Free

we suppose freedom is an ideal, Unattainable.

and we reach out

for what is already sacrificed under our own feet!

Freedom!?….Never being entrapped is meaningless!

Oh People! Let us rip the chains of our thoughts

and not be captivated by freedom

for …that itself is our "captive

_________________________________---

That Delara at the eleventh hour became Iranian of the Day, that she was granted a two months' stay of execution on Sunday afternoon, that the publisher and I are known by some to have differences between ius--all these things are true but they are irrelevant. That this blog stands as a testimony to "freedom of speech" is just a word game. Unless there is an apology.

You can't play Scrabble with people's lives.

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more from rosie is roxy is roshan
 
rosie is roxy is roshan

sokoot

by rosie is roxy is roshan on

Khaamoosh.


rosie is roxy is roshan

There were too many words here.

by rosie is roxy is roshan on

several days later upon hearing sad news

i change my last two posts to silence.


anonymous fish

i'm so happy you were there

by anonymous fish on

you're so tangled up in blues with iranian.com and it must have been a burden off your shoulders just to be able to see so many people face-to-face and to reconcile in some way with JJ. 

iranian.com isn't going anywhere and will always be here for you... just as you have always been here for it.  we all need to step back from emotional tangles every once in awhile.  for my part, i'll always send you off with a toast and welcome you back with a hug.

fuck the fish....:-)


rosie is roxy is roshan

My expereince over the weekend, and I don't know who's reading

by rosie is roxy is roshan on

this at this point except you but I hope someone is, is that I finally met face to face the person here who has supported me uniquivocally since the very frist day I got here through thick and thin, through the most extraordinary turmoils imaginable, unflinchingly, and that is MPD, and we spent the day together, My oldest, closest friend here.

and then I got to finally speak to, after a very very long silence, the person here whom I have sacrificed so much of my life for since I came here..and that is Jahanshah...

and then I finally got to meet the two people here closest to him who have had to be caught in the crossfire and endure the fallout from all these battles, battles,endless battles, battles that I never wanted to fight, and that is Nazy and Foaad..

and this last battle was the end...

and I will tolerate some fool fish saying that my writing is in any way equivalent to the average writing that comes out here and that if ALMOST ALL my best work goes unfeatured, that that is undestandable and I should go eat humble pie, and I will listen to that person say that "we" are tired of "you" and that I should be ashamed of myself for working around the clock for four days barely sleeping, the ONLY person other than David visibly working for Delara in those four critical days on this website, frantically posting everywhere I could with her as my avatar to try to get people to DO something in the BLACK-OUT on all information about her that could've reached the general readers. while DESPERATELY writing Jahanshah over and over for the publication of those materials, and contacting everyone I knew even BARELY to plead with him...that I should..shame on me..for using her for my own agenda..

I willl tolerate all this crap..but there is one thing, one thing, I will not tolerate

and that is for someone to say that I EvER badmouthed Jahanshah Javid here or did ANYTHING detrimental to harm that man or his work, ESPECIALLY at the end of 07 when he and I were working TOGETHER on this website when it was utter chaos and the regular writers were fleeing, abscoding, left and right, in droves...

for ANYONE to say that I EVER did anything to harm that man or his work...

that part I own't tolerate. That's intolerable.

and even now, even now, I'm not speaking badly of him. It's ofsomething that he DID. That was WRONG. I'm speaking for the FIRST TIME about something that he DID. 

I have never done it before. And I will never do it again. Because..I won't be here to do it.


anonymous fish

i know... i know...

by anonymous fish on

at first i wasn't going to get into the personal aspect of the whole thing but the more i thought about it, the angrier i got.  you don't need me or anyone else to explain yourself but this was just so simply over the top, i couldn't stop myself.  and then for it to come from bottom feeders!!!!  no balls my dear... simply no balls. 

anyhoo... i can't wait to hear about your experience from last weekend.  it sounds like it was a wonderful event!


rosie is roxy is roshan

Fish, right now you're far more eloquent than I

by rosie is roxy is roshan on

 

 because I'm far too angry at that post below.  On top of aome GOLDFISH lecturing me about being humble about the BEST of my consistently superior work not being featuredm and saying that I am using Delara as an agenda when I am simply saying that my efforts here are in vain,  to say all that and on top of that to say that I ever..ever..did anything to harm Jahanshah here..You wrote:

and don't think for a second that rosie doesn't have the greatest respect for JJ.  to be blind TO his faults or errors would be the greatest mistake of a true friend.  anything less is just a suck-up.

true friend. that's right. damn straight.


rosie is roxy is roshan

I wasn't going to come back here at all but I thought

by rosie is roxy is roshan on

I should check if there were comments. To the first fish, thanks foryour post. Sorry I won't be able to continue the dialog. The third fish I'm ignoring. The second fish:

glug glug glug glug glug

 

 


anonymous fish

aaahhhh...the symptom of reposting

by anonymous fish on

under different anonymous names is clearly reflective here.  such similiarly expressed sentiments.  :-)

listen guys.  rosie is extremely concerned about this issue.  whether you agree with her approach or not is beside the point.  this is a very dramatic situation which unfortunately HAS taken second, third and even worse place behind some other issues which really shouldn't be the priority of a concerned iranian.  i mean, come on.  look at some of the featured posts lately!   THIS is about one of your hamvatans and a clear indication of the brutality of your regime!!! 

i can't understand how you wouldn't automatically rally around this cause.  and yes, i know there HAVE been several blogs about it.  but i truly see rosie's point.  there really doesn't seem to be an all-out exposure of her plight.  whose to say WHAT efforts caused the two month delay.  would you deny that perhaps rosie WAS a part of that successful effort????  and would you wish her to discontinue her efforts?

regardless of personal issues between rosie and JJ... such as they are... i don't think rosie has ever used that connection to further her exposure.  if you HAVE read her over the last year and a half, you'd know what her passions were.  conversely, it's not like this hasn't been a forum for anyone and everyone else to expose their innerchild or to express bitter feelings or to describe their sex life or lack thereof.  surely rosie is entitled to her own little peccadillos as well!

listen to WHAT she is saying... not HOW she is saying it.

and don't think for a second that rosie doesn't have the greatest respect for JJ.  to be blind TO his faults or errors would be the greatest mistake of a true friend.  anything less is just a suck-up.

peace out.


default

Rosie dear

by Anonymous Analyst (not verified) on

You ARE a drama queen in real sense of the term. I see that you have some penchant for all things (or most things) Persian. That's fine but in your drive to be more catholic than the Pope you are sinking. deeper in that part of you that your therapist must have made such a good job to pull you out of. I advise you to make an appointment to see him soon. Things don't look good.


default

Give us a break!!!

by Fed Up Reader (not verified) on

Since the beginning of the blogging not all of your work has been featured.

I have seen some of your posted comments to another blogger stating your complaints about the owner of this website as far as 2007.

Do you realize that not everyone's work is featured? What makes you so special that everything you write must be featured? Don't you think to highly of yourself? Time for some humble pie..

I think that it is deporable the way you are using Delara's case to mask your real intent. Have you no shame?

You said that he posted a lot of the blogs on Delara.
If Delara's case and others like her are really important to you then why don't you actually volunteer with SCE organization? Use your writing abilities and time more effectively.

By the way, I and many readers on this website read your posted comments to anonymous fish about how you feel about the owner of this website.........very interesting...........


default

Rosie, why are you such a dramatic?

by Anonymous8 (not verified) on

do you understand that Delara was not innocent? she confessed to killing a person at 17. even the US allows for exceptional circumstances. she claims this was false and she did this was because they would not execute her. so abusing this 18 years mark seems to be common already. we don't ultimately know if she is a killer or not but the courts have decided she is.

there is also tension between the IRI government and courts. the government would like to end the practice, the courts keep handing down sentences and the government intervenes to reverse them. it has happened 500 times in a struggle between the two systems. if a person really is a killer, and she gets off that would hurt the chances of repealing this law in practice. so dont think this is straight formula. shes not a martyr.