Sheila K

Dr. Holakouee, why can’t these women simply say, “I married the a..hole cause I wanted to get out of Iran? …AS IN DESPERATELY!” Like many Iranian women, and some men, I have come to adore Dr. Holakoueeand his noble cause in doing the impossible: healing our troubled psyche. Walt Disney once said, “It’s kind of fun to do the impossible.” Is it Dr. Holakouee? I think he’s the tower of knowledge, and wisdom in Farsi, and he’s always gracious and very consistent with his programs. But I wonder if he’s capable of doing the “impossible.” Can he build a little Disney of happiness and honesty in our heads and take out the temple of self deception? Maybe… it’s a small world after all! At every chance, I listen to one of his programs through Internet. I consider it a meditation, a cleansing of mind, a “hamoom” of mind (what he often considers therapy to be). While I enjoy the meditative state of his logic and reason, I often get disrupted with one his nuisance and bizarre callers—all of a sudden my state of calm and consciousness is interrupted and invaded and soon I find myself trapped in a “hamoom omoomie of minds.” It’s no longer about cleansing my mind, but I have to watch others clean up theirs with a painful process of kiseh keshie of lies and self deception. I can’t help get annoyed by some of his female callers, my comrades and fellow sisters. This is about one particular group that I’d like to call “mail order brides.” I say that with genuine love and admiration. I wished we had a real amnesty programs for Iranian women to escape from Islamic regime with dignity and pride instead of marrying off to someone they hop in the plane with. In lieu of political and legal protection for oppressed Muslim women, being a mail order bride as their last alternative to flee the Islamic tyranny should be considered a compliment, not a disgrace. Please note that being successful in becoming a mail order bride is not an easy task. I hear the competition is fierce now and that the supply super-exceeds the demand. I am just saying the big problem with these women is that they lie, big time! And I can’t stand it and I am baffled at how Dr. Holakouee is able to calmly confront them with reason. I am really fed up with these women’s lies. Why can’t they just say, I married him (or the a...hole in many cases-sorry I am just being honest) because I so desperately wanted to get the hell out of Iran. What is wrong with saying that? It’s the truth and a common practice in our community for the past three decades. So let’s just be honest about this one little thing, OK? I recently heard one caller (who knew her husband for a week prior to their wedding and shipped to the states three months later) say that they have absolutely no issues except one little problem. The husband regrets being married! In other words, he wants to return the merchandise. Supposedly, the husband didn’t like the responsibility but if he did, then he’d choose her to be his wife. At least he is being honest about his own self-deception. Why can’t she do the same? I mean, she went on and on and on about how others may have caused their marital problems and that she loves him and is willing to tolerate everything and be a good wife and so on---nothing but more lies. Many of these “little girls” who desperately leave Iran and achieve the falsehood medal of “zerangi” and “balad boodan” feel forced to settle for a guy they didn’t love and live in a false state of family. Cause if they don’t, then they lose their status in Iran. I believe the problem is that they physically flee the country, but not consciously. As in this famous saying—with my little twist, “You can get the girl out of the country but you can’t get the country out of the girl.” It’s so sad to know that these women, my comrades and fellow sisters, give up the real cause, which was getting the hell of out Iran to pursue liberty and happiness. Instead, they bring babies, one after another and settle down [even though what they really wanted was to go bar hopping and night clubbing every night of the week dressed like Paris Hilton and have lots of sex with strange men]. They settle and blind fold themselves so that the husband [who had enjoyed his sexual freedom as a single Persian man but in marriage has to vow for monogamous celibacy against his sub-conscious psyche and travel across the planet for the search of “hooryeh eh paak o pakizeh” to reward his painful deed of ezdevaj] will love her and will treat her as a never ending virgin. What a joke! I mean wake up people or should I say, Grow Up! I used to know of a mail order bride and a medical doctor by profession, who use to say to me that when she married her husband, she was more virgin then others (az baakerasham baakereh tar boodam). That’s just being a freak! I continue to listen to Dr. Holakouee and I hope you do too. He’s not paying me to say this. Next time, I will review the other side of the spectrum: the men’s deception. The men who marry the “hoory” from Iran but in their psyche (like most other men) they much rather have a real slut of a wife both in bed and out. Boys, isn’t that the truth? To be continued…