Souri
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12-Feb-2009
-تحقيقات نشان داده كه فقط 20% مردها عقل دارند.. 80% بقيه زن دارند !
-مردها بر اثر كمبود عاطفه ازدواج مي كنند بر اثر كمبود حوصله طلاق مي دن.
ولي نكته جالب اينه كه بر اثر كمبود حافظه دوباره ازدواج مي كنند !
مردها سه تا آرزو دارن :
- اونقدر كه مامانشون مي گن خوش تيپ باشن !
- اونقدر كه بچه شون مي گن پولدار باشن !
و مهمتر از همه اينكه :
- اونقدر كه زنشون شك داره دوست دختر داشته باشن !
- بيشتر مردان موفقيت شون رو مديون زن اولشون هستند و زن دومشون رو مديون موفقيت شون !
-مرد اولي : امان از دست اين زنها !؟ زنم تمام دارائيمو برداشت و رفت !
دومي : خوش به حالت ! زن من تمام دارائي مو برداشت و نرفت !
- زن به شوهر : من احمق بودم كه باهات ازدواج كردم !
مرد : عزيزم چرا عصباني مي شي ! خب من هم عاشقت بودم اينو نفهميدم !
- اگه مي بيني اينقدر دوستت دارم
اگه مي بيني اينقدر منتظرت مي شم
اگه مي بيني تو دنيا با هيچ كس عوضت نمي كنم باور كن اكس زدم و تو توهّمم !
- يه ضرب المثل آموزنده هست كه مي گه :
مردن براي زني كه عاشقشي از زندگي باهاش آسون تره !
-مرد به زن : عزيزم ممنونم ازت ! تو اعتقاد به دين رو به زندگيم آوردي! چون من قبل از ازدواج معتقد بودم جهنم اصلا" وجود نداره !
| Recently by Souri | Comments | Date |
|---|---|---|
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| Where is gone the Babak Pirouzian's blog? | - | Sep 12, 2012 |
منهم به ایران برگشتم | 23 | May 09, 2012 |
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| Habibollah Golparipour: Prisoner of the day | Kurdish Activist on Death Row | Nov 28 |
On Marriage! ...Best one is Sam Roger's
by Souri on Fri Feb 13, 2009 12:58 PM PSTازدواج مثل شهر محاصره شده است: کسانی که داخل شهرند سعی دارند ازآن خارج و آنها که خارج هستند کوشش دارند که داخل شوند!
فرانکلین
*
زندگی زناشویی مثل تاتر است: مردم صحنه زیبا و آراسته آن را می بینند
درحالی که زن و شوهر با پشت صحنه درهم ریخته و پرماجرای آن سر و کار دارند.
فرانسیس بیکن
* تا وقتی آدم ازدواج نکرده اورا غیرکامل می خوانند، بنا براین معلوم می شود که بعد از ازدواج کار آدم تمام است!
باب هوپ
تا قبل از ازدواج فقط مرگ می تواند دو عاشق دلداده را ازهم جدا کند اما بعد از ازدواج تقریبا هرچیزی می تواند باعث
جدایی آنان شود
امرست موام
*
ازدواج با یک مرد مثل خریدن کالایی است که مدت ها مشتاقانه از پشت ویترین
تماشایش کرده اید اما وقتی به خانه می رسید از خریدنش پشیمان می شوید..
جین کر
* ازدواج برای کسانی که تصور می کنند صبح روز بعد از آن ، آدم دیگری می
شوند موضوعی ناامیدکننده است.
ساموئل راجرز
* مجردان بیشتر از متاهلین درباره زنان اطلاع دارند چون اگر نداشتند آنها هم ازدواج می کردند!
اچ.ال.منکن
*مرد با ازدواج روی گذشته اش خط می کشد ولی زن باید روی آینده خود خط بکشد.
سینکلر لوییس
قبل
از ازدواج، مرد قبل از خواب به حرف هایی می اندیشد که شما گفته اید اما
بعد از ازدواج ، مرد قبل از این که شما حرف بزنید به خواب می رود
هلن رولان
*
هیچ گاه ازدواج نکردم چون سه حیوان خانگی داشتم که دقیقا نقش یک شوهر را
به تناوب برایم ایفا می کردند.یک سگ داشتم که هر روز صبح غرغر می کرد.یک
طوطی داشتم که تمام بعداز ظهر بدو بیراه می گفت و یک گربه که همیشه دم
دمهای صبح به خانه بازمی گشت!
ماری کورلی
* زنان با این آرزو با مردان ازدواج می کنند که مردان تغییر کنند... که نمی کنند.
مردان با این آرزو با زنان ازدواج می کنند که زنان تغییر نکنند.... که می کنند
* خیلی بامزه است: هنگامی که زنان از ازدواج خود داری می کنند
اسمش را می گذاریم عشق به استقلال اجتماعی اما وقتی مردان از ازدواج خودداری می کنند به آن می گوییم ترس از مسوولیت اجتماعی!
وارن فارل
*
اگر می خواهی برای یک روز معذب باشی مهمان دعوت کن. اگر می خواهی یک سال
عذاب بکشی پرنده نگه دار واگر می خواهی مادام العمر در عذاب باشی ازدواج کن
" ضرب المثل چینی
dear AF
by Souri on Fri Feb 13, 2009 10:42 AM PSTYes, I did click on that link...not once! Actually I'd read all the comments. I laughed because, it was supposed to be a "woman thing" and turned out to become more of men taste!!
Now a real old story about Potato:
During the occupation of France by England in the old time, French people were not used to eat potato. The English wanted them to eat potatoes so they could sell more of their abundant product (potato)
They didn't know how to do. Then one of the King's advisers suggested a trick. He said to make a field of potatoes, guarded by the king's guards and announce that nobody has the right to approach the field and pick those legumes.
Naturally, you can imagine the number of people who were interested by curiosity ........ and that is how potato, become the main meal
of the French!!
I hope you got the point of this, despite my bad English..
why do men like smart women?
by anonymous fish on Fri Feb 13, 2009 10:17 AM PSTbecause opposites attract.
:-)
souri... you're so right.
btw... did you see my post on ladies fashions? yes, i AM shamelessly promoting it...:-) every hit on the link is support for breast cancer and it's a subject near and dear to my heart.
zion... i think you'd get a chuckle too!!!!
Yes Samsam
by Souri on Fri Feb 13, 2009 08:36 AM PSTNowadays I'm really off with all those "baad" va "mabaad".....people hurt each other and hurt all of us. I need some fresh air. thanks for the comment
Souri jaan , khoob oftaadi beh joke goftan inn rooza
by SamSamIIII on Fri Feb 13, 2009 05:41 AM PST::)) , there should be a joke button & only you should moderate it .
cheers!!!
//www.iranianidentity.blogspot.com/
So true.........
by Souri on Thu Feb 12, 2009 10:30 PM PSTbut you know what they say:
Life without wife, is a kitchen without knife.
Rightfully said!
.....
by tsion on Thu Feb 12, 2009 09:58 PM PSTA group of threen men met at a bar. 1 was Italian, 1 was French, and the third was Jewish.
They began to speak of their wives.
The Frenchman said, "I wiped butter all over my wife, and she screamed for twenty minutes!"
The Italian said "That's nothing!. I rubbed pasta sauce on my wife, and she screamed for an hour!"
The Jew said, "Well, I rubbed oil all over my wife and she screamed for six hours!"
The Frenchman and the Italian looked at him is amazement. "Six hours? How did you get her to do that?" they asked.
"I rubbed my hands on the drapes."
----
but you know what they say:
Life without wife, is a kitchen without knife.
Zion
......................
by Majid on Thu Feb 12, 2009 08:02 PM PSTقبل از ازدواج............بخورمت خوشگل خانوم
٥ سال بعد............کاشکی ه سال پیش خورده بودمت!
A quick one
by iraj khan on Thu Feb 12, 2009 07:47 PM PSTWhat did Adam say to Eve when he met her in the Garden of Eden?
"Madam, my name is Adam"
Marriage !!
by ebi amirhosseini on Thu Feb 12, 2009 06:24 PM PSTGetting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want then, When you see what the other person has, You wish you had ordered that.
------------------------------------------------------------
Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No but the thought of long life will never come
------------------------------------------------------------
Why do couples hold hands during their Wedding?
It's a formality just like Two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
------------------------------------------------------------
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
------------------------------------------------------------
It ' s funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It ' s like asking someone,
If suicide is better or being murdered.
------------------------------------------------------------
It is difficult to understand GOD.
He makes such beautiful things as women and
Then, he turns them into Wives.
------------------------------------------------------------
If you are married please ignore this msg,
For everyone else: Happy Independence Day!
------------------------------------------------------------
Before marriage,
A man will lie awake all night Thinking about something you say.
After marriage, he 'll fall asleep before you finish.
------------------------------------------------------------
There' s a way of transferring funds
That is even faster than electronic banking.
It 's called marriage.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Girlfriends are like CHOCOLATES - Taste good anytime.
Lovers are like PIZZAS - Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Wife 's are like Dhal & RICE - Eaten when there' s no choice.
------------------------------------------------------------
Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don' t take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
------------------------------------------------------------
Prospective husband:
Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women ' ?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why dogs don ' t marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog' s life!
------------------------------------------------------------
There was this guy who told his woman
That he loved her so much that he
Would go through hell for her.
They got married and now he is going thru hell.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Fact of life:
One woman brings you into this world crying &
the other ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!
-------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why doesn 't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per the law You cannot be punished twice For the same offence!
LIVE & LET LIVE!
Ebi aka Haaji
Souri khanoum Daashtim?!! I hope the ladies ......
by ebi amirhosseini on Thu Feb 12, 2009 06:14 PM PSTمی دونين چطوری ميشه خانمها رو توی سنين مختلف با توپها مقايسه كرد؟
يه خانم توی سن ۱۸ سالگی مثل توپ فوتباله... ۲۲ نفر دنبالش هستن...
توی سن ۲۸ سالگی مثل توپ هاكيه... ۱۰ نفر دنبالش هستن...
توی سن ۳۸ سالگی مثل توپ گلفه... ۱ نفر دنبالشه...
توی سن ۴۸ سالگی مثل توپ پينگ پنگه... ۲ نفر هی از خودشون دورش می كنن و به طرف مقابل پاسش ميدن...
توی سن ۵۸ سالگی مثل توپ جنگيه... كسی جرات نمی كنه از ۱۰ متريش رد بشه!
Ebi aka Haaji
Adam & Eve
by Majid on Thu Feb 12, 2009 04:11 PM PSTWhen God created Adam after a week he walked to the God and said...
- Sir....this is not gonna work!
- Why? what's wrong?
- I'm bored.... I walk arround by myself, I eat by myself, I sleep alone, noone to talk to......I'm bored!
- Hmmmm, you got a point!....OK, let's see....How about this?
I'll make another one, except this time I'm gonna improve all my shortcomings....I'll make this one beautiful, smarter than you, caring, selfless, productive, independent with a heart of gold.... and I'll call her Eve!
- Sounds good to me, what's gonna cost me?
-An arm and a leg!
- NOPE! no can do Sir, gimme something for a RIB!
i hope this isn't one you've posted in farsi...:-)
by anonymous fish on Thu Feb 12, 2009 04:00 PM PSTThe doctor is explaining to his patient's family that he needs a brain transplant. After explaining the procedure, the doctor shows the family a couple of choices.
#1 was a man's brain and it was priced at $500,000.00. Ahhh ... said the family, assuming that the high price was indicative of its worth.
#2 was a woman's brain, and IT was priced at $75,000.00. Hmmm... said the family, nodding to themselves and thinking that that is just as it should be.
But someone asks anyway... why such a low price for the woman's brain? And the doctor answers...
"It's been used".
:-)
Liked it
by Orang Gholikhani on Thu Feb 12, 2009 12:18 PM PSTSmart Jokes :-)
orang