Temporary Bride

I am almost ready.

I believe that I have mastered demure yet stylish hijab with duly painted eyelashes, painstakingly breezily draped scarf and perfectly placed wisps of face-framing hair.

But I want a second opinion. A little market research. Survey Monkey was made for moments like this.

POLL: Please review attached photos and give your opinion. Too slutty? Do I look hot?”

THE RESPONSE:

“Potentially too revealing.”

“If God wanted us to see your hair he wouldn’t have made it clear in the Qur’an that you should wear a headscarf”.

“Please be careful sweetheart. I’d hate for you to be put in prison,” wrote my mom.

FOLLOW-UP POLL: But how else am I going to score some dates in Iran unless I reveal the seductive contours of my scalp?

(I’m joking of course. Everyone knows that no one dates in Iran. As a single girl I’ll be free to taste exoticism in the flavours of painted tiles, ancient bazaars and orange blossom sorbet by day and be largely under house arrest in my hotel room at night. I know. I’m in for a lot of ‘me’ time.)

THE RESPONSE:

"If you go on some dates take a chaperone. You don't want to end up in a temporary marriage so that some guy can get his freak on.”

Were they kidding? I promptly googled temporary marriage:

"Temporary marriage may be used to satisfy one's sexual needs. There are no requirements of having a witness, a written contract or permission from authorities."

It all sounds rather civilised to me.