You Like It Too, Come On

Balatarin
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TheMrs
by TheMrs
25-Jan-2009
 

I’ve been wanting to blog about porn for awhile but there are so many obstacle to such a blog. First and foremost, what else will be left? No I’m not referring to my dignity, but once I blog about porn, will there be anything else to write about? What if it’s the end of the road? Secondly, I don’t want to end up debating the politics of it, ruins the mood if you know what I mean.

But against all odds, I’ll sail forth.

Where do I begin? I feel like a kid in front of pizza, candy AND chocolate all at the same time. What to watch? What to discuss?

Yes, I’m a woman. Yes, I’m Iranian (well mostly anyway) and yes, I love porn. So much so that I don’t understand people who don’t love pornography. Who doesn’t want to watch attractive people fuck?

The first time I saw pornography was when I was probably about 13 years old. I was at a friend’s house and she put on a vhs tape from her dad’s dresser. It was disgusting. Some poor woman was walking down the street and got raped. And this was in the classic 70s style porn, hairy bodies and all. I don’t know what to classify that sort of thing. They were acting it out so it was porn but it’s sick. I don’t know how anyone can get off on that kind of thing.

Fast forward a few years to my late teens. No, the aforementioned experience didn’t put me off completely. And Yes, I did go many years not thinking about sex, I was a late bloomer. In fact, as stupid as this might sound, I didn’t know about the mechanics of sex until I was probably 16ish. It just never occurred to me to think about it. I was busy with other stuff.

Anyway, one night I was baby sitting 2 bratty kids I COULD NOT STAND. They did their catholic prayer; I think they called it catechism or something. Brushed their teeth and off to bed. I turned on the TV and flipped through the channels. Holy Mother of Sweet Jesus! Some black guy was, well I don’t know how free I can be with my language here, he was involved in a pre coital activity involving fingers. I nearly fell off the sofa. I of course, being the good Iranian girl I am, turned the TV off and did some home work. Perhaps if their god damn dog wasn’t staring at me, I would’ve watched more. Then of course, it occurred to me that the kids’ parents probably watched it and I almost puked (ogh’d) on the carpet. The parents were both fat and the father was hairy. And they both indulged in very garlicky food. To think that good porn was wasted on them is almost criminal.

I had other brushes with this film genre. Eventually I decided I liked it.

The problem now is that all the women have fake breasts. Sucks! No pun intended. Because I get distracted trying to figure out they’re real or not. And then, I wonder how they feel (I’m not a lesbian, I’m just curious). Do these women ever miss their natural boobies? They must! How could they not?

Also, some of the conversation is really tacky. When the actors try to act out the Sopranos or something…come on, just get naked and do it, if I want to watch the Sopranos I watch the real thing.

The Internet is also a problem. My lover and I were flipping through some site a while back and they have the most disgusting categories. Of course that means I HAVE TO WATCH. I want to know how 80 year old people do it. One time, I clicked on the Virgin category (like you wouldn’t?). And there was a Bijan Mortazavi song playing. I couldn’t believe it. I was laughing so hard I don’t remember what happened with the couple.

No matter what, I cannot stand to watch home made videos. First of all, who wants to watch regular or ugly people with tube socks getting or giving head, in the dark? Not me. And inevitably, very few beautiful and self respecting people would put up their home videos for public consumption.

Gay porn is a whole other world. We all know girl on girl is very mainstream these days. Many couples may have even had threesomes. But gay porn is something else. I can say with confidence I know exactly how 2 guys do it. Isn't that something? I'm sure one generation back, most Iranian women had no knowledge of this sort of thing. I have a very heterosexual female Iranian friend who really enjoys gay porn. She told me once it's like having 2 good looking guys at once. I wouldn't quite take it that far, but it's very...interesting to watch. I watch that sort of porn with glasses and intensity. I can't miss a breath. It's like studying for the LSAT or something. If I blink, I might miss something.

Don’t judge me.

**No editing done.

Ps Note about horny noises mentioned in comment #1: Porn is nothing without horny noises. Even fake ones. I've watched it on mute with my parents in the next room and it's very boring.

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anonymous fish

free spirit

by anonymous fish on Tue Jan 27, 2009 04:09 PM PST

i hear ya chickie poo.  no way, no how.  they say that women's erotic zones are in her head.  of course that is somewhat of an exaggeration but i totally agree with you.


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Faramarz_Fateh

Lots of Jews in porn

by Faramarz_Fateh on Mon Jan 26, 2009 03:30 PM PST

There are lots of Jews in porn....both in acting, directing, producing and distribution.  Porn used to be profitable until mid 90s.  Now, fortunately there is not a whole lot of $ in it.  So maybe there'll be less of it as time goes on.


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Niloufar Parsi

kaveh

by Niloufar Parsi on Mon Jan 26, 2009 02:24 PM PST

pls send us the link! sounds facinating!


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Kaveh Nouraee

Porn is Overrated

by Kaveh Nouraee on Mon Jan 26, 2009 01:40 PM PST

Jahanshah, of course they're going to be better than average looking! If anyone wants to see ugly people doing it, they just have to grab a pair of binoculars and look in their next door neighbor's window.  :-)

But, yes, porn nowadays is way too fake and mechanical. One of the worst pornos was called "Persian Nights In L.A.". It even had Persian "dialogue", too.

(Don't act like you haven't heard of it, people. It was one of the most-rented videos at Tower Records & Video in Rockville, MD. I'll bet some of you even have a copy.) LOL


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rosie is roxy is roshan

I was the one who brought up velayate faghih to him this

by rosie is roxy is roshan on Mon Jan 26, 2009 10:56 AM PST

time Faramarz, I asked him a question about it; I an wondering how you are going to bring up whether the pornographers are Jewish or just AmericNS... :O)


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Faramarz_Fateh

Velayate Faghih and porn

by Faramarz_Fateh on Mon Jan 26, 2009 08:15 AM PST

I am waiting to see how Mammad is going to weave VF into this subject.

 


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rosie is roxy is roshan

Every human life is unique..like a snowflake..

by rosie is roxy is roshan on Sun Jan 25, 2009 08:48 PM PST

made of breath and blood.

That's what makes it all so amazing.

Rosie


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Free Spirit

What's love got to do with it?!

by Free Spirit on Sun Jan 25, 2009 08:37 PM PST

For me everything. No offense to anyone but if I am not in love with the man then nothing is going to happen.

What can I say..........I am still a romantic.

A peace offering for the Mrs. :

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=OaMwvCVO01s


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rosie is roxy is roshan

Seven deadly scenarios.

by rosie is roxy is roshan on Sun Jan 25, 2009 08:27 PM PST

Numero Uno.  Here's an interesting scientific study, such studies are quite well-known: //www.newscientist.com/article/dn10213-women-become-sexually-aroused-as-quickly-as-men.html 

Numero Dos:  However, here's an interesting case study. As a teen, this individual was given free reign to be a smut fiend by his parents and grew up to be pure of heart and mind. Lack of tabbo factor probably relevant: Each life story is unique.  //iranian.com/main/blog/jahanshah-javid/playboy-heaven

Numero Tres: This lady got off on god. We are all addicted to everything in this day and age. Who knows what we'd get off on if we weren't?   Saint Theresa of Avila, wrote some of the greatest ecstatic erotic poetry ever, all for god. Each life story still unnique. //teachers.sduhsd.k12.ca.us/ltrupe/ART%20History%20Web/final/chap19BaroqueRococo/Bernini-St%20Theresa%20in%20Ecstacy,%20detail.jpg

Numero Cuatro: On this website, real porn CANNOT compete with war porn. Gozoongas will never hold a candle to Gaza.

Numero Cinco: And they are shy to speak about porn anyway. Very shy.

Numero Seis: Nilofar you never ccease to amaze me, How do you find time to organize boycotts? Perhaps it energizes you. And last but not least, as for moi..

Numero Siete: whatever.


 


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TheMrs

JJ: You have to be careful

by TheMrs on Sun Jan 25, 2009 06:30 PM PST

JJ: You have to be careful not to cross the line to desensitization! Perhaps that's the case here? Khoda naseeb nakoneh :) But to each his own. As for love, in the words of tina turner, what's love go to do with it?

KB: Again, I don't want to cross the line here but smells are a part of life.

 


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KB

Here is something to consider the next time you watch porn

by KB on Sun Jan 25, 2009 04:36 PM PST

I was listening to a porn movie photographer/camera man on the radio once, and he said something that has put me right off porn and frankly off my breakfast too. He said that, as well as watching and listening, if you could smell porn then porn would probably not exist.

The smell of gay men porn (I have nothing against gays so dont start accusing me)… …. Jesus on a bicycle…

All the same The Mrs, thank you for your honesty in your post, enjoyed reading it. I have to say however, I can not help but feel that we are doing something naughty/taboo just by taking part in this blog, which I think was the intention?!


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default

another good one

by Anonymous fish unregistered (not verified) on Sun Jan 25, 2009 03:41 PM PST

but just FYI, catechism is the study of the religion. kind of like "sunday school". we "studied" catechism. in sunday school, in weekday Mass, in parochial summer camp. egad!!!!!

please don't reply with the indoctrination insults... heard them all and invented a few more ourselves...:-)

but as to the subject of your blog, it's good for about 1-5 minutes. then boredom sets in.


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Niloufar Parsi

JJ

by Niloufar Parsi on Sun Jan 25, 2009 03:30 PM PST

that's just the bad kind of porn you are talking about. it all depends on what one calls porn. it's the same with war movies. there are good ones and there are bad ones.


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Jahanshah Javid

Nah...

by Jahanshah Javid on Sun Jan 25, 2009 02:12 PM PST

Not for me. You noted noted some things that are unappealing in porn movies: lots of fake boobs and lots of better than average looking men and women (unrealistic).

What turns me off most is that porn movies are not passionate or loving. It's all about banging and often subjugating and humiliating women. It may turn on my basic instincts, but the aggression and lack of sensuality quickly make me lose interest.

Thank you so much for sharing. Very interesting and provocative.


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Niloufar Parsi

nice one

by Niloufar Parsi on Sun Jan 25, 2009 12:27 PM PST

i enjoy porn too! i think everyone does as long as it shows someone they don't know. it's a turn on, and i think more than anything else you wanna see how others do it and if there are tricks you are missing out on! and i like it more life-like than those beautiful 'hairless' people totally faking it - fake boobs and all - with those silly noises that are supposed to be 'horny'. amateur porn is better!


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