Iranian of the Day

My favorite part was when

My favorite part was when her douchebag boyfriend was like "I went up to talk to her and offered her a gin and tonic, pretending it was water" Just that alone spoke volumes about "D" and "Merriam"

I have nothing against dancers, nothing at all. But if you want to be a dancer, why not join a dance company and learn dance, and not just bumping and grinding.

Mariam

I know Mariam personally. She was my roommate in college. To this day, she remains to me a wonderful person, and has one of the biggest hearts that I have ever seen. For those of you who may not agree with her ventures, have we all not heard the saying "Let the one without sin be the first to cast a stone." Everyone has a fundamental right to their indivduality, and should not be chastised for doing what they enjoy. So all you who are so quick to judge, why don't you take a few moments and reflect on things in your life, that if became public, you would be scorned for as well. I admire Mariam because she works very hard to support herself, and still has plans of eventually returning to grad school when the time is right. There is a common misconception about grad school. That if you are going to do it, just do it. Well, I am a law school graduate, and I have seen many a person more than capable of taking on the task of law school, but in other ways unprepared despite their aptitude and intelligence just because they rushed into it because they thought it was "what they are supposed to do." So, everyone, before you judge my friend, do a little self examination of yourself and those you supposedly hold in such high esteem, and you will see that no one of us on earth is without faults and downfalls.

Renee

Observer: What can I say....................... a lot

My comment to Mariam was out of personal experience. In 1999, I became very ill, so much so my mother drove me 2 hours to get to the hospital. I do not remember much about the first few days but later on when I was back to my senses the doctor told me I was very lucky to be alive. She told me I almost ended up in ICU. Being so close to dying puts things in perspective. I wasn't thinking about how much more money I could of made or career goals. I thought about what really mattered in life. There are no guarantees in life but you have to like the person you see in the mirror every morning.

I can tell you that I like who I see in the mirror every morning now.  

I know I may seem naive, sweet and that I can not hold my own but trust me there is a feisty side of me.

Natasha

PS: If you plan on writing any dissertation on any subject, remember that objectivity is of the essence.

Unbelievable

I can't decide whether to register or not. Well, actually after this comment, I definitely won't. What a bunch of vicious losers you all are.. in one way or the other... you're all the same. Don't you people have jobs? Don't you have families to spend time with? Don't you have ANYTHING better to do with your time then to bitch bitch bitch. I come here every once in awhile... a couple times a week? I see the same names over and over again. At first I thought, how cool, a group of people who share the same heritage, who can debate and discuss like adults. ADULTS? What the fuck. I don't know Mariam personally but I know the group she hangs out with and goes to school with. You want to criticize the young people because we grew up in the US and therefore we must be corrupted by the big bad wolf. Please... spare me the bullshit sandwich. She dances... so what. Belly dancing is an art????? Give me a break. Maybe once upon a time... but the belly dancing I saw at an "authentic" Persian restaurant recently...it was as lewd as any go-go dancing you want to criticize. Except it was done by a 40+ woman. Ug..ly. And these "fine" Persian women you want us to emulate. I don't know but a handful of my friends mothers who havent divorced and remarried SEVERAL times. And for what? MONEY. They didn't learn that here in the good old USA either. So. Good job you guys... another reason that Iran will NEVER become anything better with people like you in charge. You're hateul... you're hyprocrites to the max (I might have to come back one more time just to write my dissertation on that alone). YOU make most of the new generation embarrased to be Iranian. Just to leave you with a little food for thought.
Caspian... you're a bitch, pure and simple
Kaveh... you're getting just a wee bit too santimonious
Mom... you might have potential
Sasha... way too naive, you're going to get eaten alive
Colonel... you scare the shit out of me. Hope you don't have kids.

But most of all... I want you to think about this. You people need to get a life. Get off your collective fat asses and do something constructive with your lives. Instead of spending every single spare minute you can squeeze out of your pathetic lives here... judging and making fools of yourselves.

perfect

wife for hagi agha!

But I thought you loved drivel, Caspian Sea Mermaid!

My dear, be not so quick to judge. My "drivel" was not about the video per se, as I said, but was more in response to all the other comments that came before mine, whether they were complimentary and encouraging, or admonishing and discouraging, or just plain crude. There was a lot of discussion about the validity, or appropriateness, or end result, or impact, or approval--or whatever--of the choice Mariam made to dance in the club. I was extrapolating on other posters' points and talking about how people make choices and what the potential ramifications are of some choices and how we end up places we don't mean to be if we are not beginning with the end in mind. Individual choices affect more than an individual, obviously. They also affect families, friends, and even society itself over time. Mariam has all the freedom in the world to do and be who and what she wants, as do you and I, (to the extent that we can make it happen--money, time, age, and so on). My points were about what happens when we do not truly understand the import of freedom---freedom to make conscious choices that are not only for our good, but for the greater good. An unpopular notion these days--even in Communist China! But I do think that is a discussion that was legitimately raised on this thread. I do not think there is any rule that says, "You can only talk about Mariam's dancing here or else." Reread all the comments to see how varied they can be in their approach. But maybe you don't like to hear anyone talking about values because it sounds like preaching? Sorry if that is the impression I gave. I was just talking about my own observations and I believe that I am within my rights to do so, even here on this thread. Mariam is a pretty young woman, good at what she does, a bit naive about some things, but who isn't when they are young? I am almost thirty years older than she is, so it makes sense that I would be thinking about different things than what just is on the surface, doesn't it? If you see it as a rant, Caspian Sea Mermaid, so be it. I can live with your cyber insults. I bid you peace.

what a girl but watch out for mother nature cutie!!

well, Miryom is free to do what ever she wants. Studying at law school is difficult and she figured out a much more pleasant way to make money. She is not the only one and there are more girls like her around the globe. What she needs to know that her beauty and her fantastic body hummmm is only good for couple of more years. She will find out very soon as soon as her boyfriend/husband drops her out of his life. It is OK to play around for a period of time but she should build a career that lasts her a life time. good luck

what about the moms who go

what about the moms who go to cabaret tehran dressed like prostitutes with their pimpish husbands and boyfriends. leave maryam alone please.

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Representing an entire culture/people?

It's true that Mariam has the right to live her own life in America--and there are plenty of kids who don't want to abide by their parents' norms and move out on their own. She isn't the first and she will definitely not be the last. On the other hand, I would be sad if my daughter or son lived the life that either of those kids--Mariam or her boyfriend--live, working at club Ten or whatever it's called.

Belly dancing is indeed a beautiful dance form. And although go-go dancing is not lap dancing, it is true that almost all women's dancing is meant to turn men on sexually, not to enrich them culturally. It is using one's sexuality as a tool, and a money-making one at that.
There are millions of girls in America whose favorite TV show is the gross "Girls Next Door" and who think nothing of immorality--who think, in fact, that people with strict moral principles just are too uptight for their own good. But any breach in the system starts to create larger and larger cracks in the integrity of the structure and pretty soon the whole damn wall is falling apart and cannot be repaired.
I am NOT saying Mariam is immoral; I am talking about it in general. I don't know her and I can't judge her (but she IS great at belly dancing and I bet her students love that class!) But I am saying that it's all too easy for people to get on a slippery slope. You meet a guy, you sleep with him, you meet another guy, you sleep with him, you get offered money to strip, you figure why not earn more for something that's not that big of a deal, why not get plastic surgery, why not go with a married man, why not pose nude, why not use my body to earn money so I can get ahead...and NO I am not saying that Mariam is doing any of that! It's just that this is how slippery slopes get people to slide right down them....they start out walking innocently and naively into a trap that is taking them nowhere but down in life. Nobody starts out the day deciding to become an addict or a stripper; it happens little by little without them being aware of the changes that are occurring within that ultimately affect them at the very core. That's why it is so important to figure out what our values are beforehand--what do we want to be true of us? And then we have to figure out how to live in such a way that others will see those things to be true of us, too. We have to make decisions about what we will or will not do before the actual situation occurs. But in America, of course, it's all situational ethics nowadays. Nothing is absolute anymore except the right to do what "feels good to me."

I am not advocating executing people who do immoral things in life. I am not advocating censoring the hell out of the society. But the glorification of what used to be cause for shame is a sad turn in this country, or any country. There is something to be said for living with integrity for its own sake--not because you are afraid of what others will think of you, but because you care very much what you think of yourself and what you say about yourself by the way you live.

I hope Mariam can open her dance studio and put her go-go dancing days behind her, regardless of how innocent her intentions may be. As someone once said, perception is reality. Don't live for other people's opinions, but don't discount the opinions of those who truly love and value you either. There is value in wise counsel from people who know us and have our best interest at heart.

I'm a mom and I've been a wife (whose husband decided being faithful was overrated) so of course I have strong feelings about these topics.

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Mariam: Well said

Mariam,

I am glad that you are happy with your choice. At the end of life it is truly what matters. I am also glad that you will not allow any hateful comments deter you from your path in life. Just because your goals are not within societies norms does not make them any less important. We all have a different path to follow in life.

Wish you success

Natasha

I looked at this clip but

I looked at this clip but could not hear the comments (speaker broken). So I do not know what was said. However, I found her to be a very beautiful girl with an infectious smile who is doing what she likes best. Some of you "traditional" Iranians might not like what she does, you probably regard the job of an estate agent, a medical doctor, an engineer or perhaps in her case a "good" wife and a cook much more appropriate.


What gives you the right to judge other people so harshly? How can you, based on a video clip, say someone is not a good person? Is in your book a mullah or anybody else who prays 100 times a day, a good person? Why do we Iranians think that only what we, ourselves, do or think is right and others who do not conform to our way of thinking are either misguided or stupid? What could be more stupid than that?


So get off your high horses and allow (not that anybody is waiting for your permission) people to be different and respect it.

What gives bloggers the right?????

I'm sitting here reading all these comments and sickened by my own race! How can you be so harsh with your criticism and hurtful words! Just like you guys, I don't personally know Mariam but I too saw the bebin.tv program about her life and found it interesting and refreshing!
Refreshing that she had the heart and courage to follow her dream and passion as opposed to the majority of YOU people who strive to be "successful" (whatever that means) as lawyers and doctors.. but probably leading miserable lives and getting temporary satisfaction on making those happier than you sad for a day! Pathetic!!!!
She loves what she does. Don't call her immature or loose...she is a dancer! If any of you had her talent I highly doubt you would be so judgemental! I'm glad she agreed to let us into her life...as far as I'm concerned SHE is real- because first and foremost she is true to herself and doesn't give a fuck about what other people think!
But I'm reading your comments and it's hurting MY feelings as to how you can be so cruel towards someone who is HUMAN (with feelings)--& most likely will be reading your comments...is it easy because you aren't saying these things in person and to her face...does that give you the confidence to be so mean?
Mariam is the one with the confidence and courage while you pussys are conveniently hiding behind your mask of anonymity while spewing words of hate...probably because you hate yourselves!
Again, how PATHETIC!!!!!

I can't believe how much

I can't believe how much some Iranians are close-minded. Mariam you rock. don' listen to the bullshit some people say

When Maryam Opens her Studio/ Stars in a show

I won't hate her for NOT giving props to Iranians who didn't support her.

It's ok to go to the theater or las vegas and see a show where dancers/Lopez/Aguilera perform, but for her to say she chose it as a career because it's her passion is slutty? Piss off!

She's beautiful and talented. Her boyfriend had better appreciate her!

So I'll repost since that seems to be the way to go

lol.. this is some good conversation...
just a quick note... go go dancing is not stripping... I think some people here might be getting the wrong idea...
yes this girl dances in skimply clothes... probably wearing almost nothing... but she's not naked... not sure if that even makes a difference...but wanted to make sure u guys knew...
but my thoughts...I think it's great that we got to see this... not all people, Iranians, included become doctors or lawyers... and I think it's great that whoever is behind bebin.tv brings "controversial" issues up... i've never seen iranians actually produce these kind of shows... so keep it up guys...
first the persian homeless, now this...
The one thing I took away from this is that Iranians are not all doctors and lawyers...and whether we agree with her choice, the girl is doing what she likes and wants...
at the very minimum... we now know there are persian dancers in clubs...
I guess maybe what ticks people off is that maybe as Iranians we're not used to seing these sorts of things... but then we also "don't have homosexuals in Iran"...
I guess what I'm trying to say is that there are millions of Iranians worldwide, inside and outside of Iran, is it really that far fetched to believe that not all of them want to be mohandeses, doctors and lawyers...
and yes, maybe her choice is not one that many of us would take...but SOOO WHAT...
no sweat of my back... she hasn't affected me... and last time i went to a club, I was concentrating on the girls at the club, and not the dancer on the stage...

she is a loser and so is the boyfriend (let her be forgotten)

for all of you, that are defending this girls choices and saying she is "so called brave enough to choose her own path"... well bravo.

yes, dancing is fine and so is teaching it,but is go-go dancing or using ones body to in a sexually seductive way to make money ok???don't you people have any bounderies??? oh, yeah,we are in america now,so hey we are free to do anything we want because WE ARE FREE... (WHAT A JOKE)

Why do todays youths paths always end up in what most normal people view as "white trash path" or " black trash path"

ok if she didn't want to follow the path her parents had set for her to have a bright future as a doctor or lawyer or something like that , then why wasn't the other option some other respectable paths, such as a composer or musician or helping the poor, or the orphans or things like that???

why, why are we always defending the poor choices that young people make...as if we are all brain washed into believing anything goes.... WHY IS NOTHING A POOR CHOICE? WHY? today go go dancing tomorrow being a hooker.

no one ever wakes up one day and say I'm going to be a coke snorting, AIDS infested , single mother of 4 living in a motel with a crackhead boyfriend who beats me. these thing happen gradually ONE STEP AT A TIME INTO A DEEP DARK HOLE OF WASTED LIFE. life that it's lot, lot easier to get into that out of........

and hey Mohammad (guy who made the tape and put it on the net). I'm sure you are not going to be there when this girl crashes and burns one step at a time. BUT KNOW THIS .... YOU AND OTHERS WHO COULD BUT DIDN'T DISCOURAGE THIS GIRL FROM GOING DOWN THIS PATH ARE ALL GUILTY OF EITHER TAKING ADVANTAGE OF HER OR NOT HELPING HER.

oh, yeah, i know anyone that tries to talk about VALUES & DECENCY on this website will get crucified but, may peace be in all of your souls

Go-Go dancer? It's not even topless! What a rip off

What is this? Junk news! Where is Sarah Shahi with her dildo when we need her?

Go-Go dancer? It's not even topless! What a rip off

What is this? Junk news! Where is Sarah Shahi with her dildo when we need her?

My parents didn't raise me

My parents didn't raise me as a Iranian, they raised me as a human being.
I'm proud of my parents that thought me ethics and humanity.
That might be too foreign for you being raised in such a high cultural Iranian standards.

Mariam,
You are just ahead of time, go for the artistic route in the next 100 years, maybe then people have catched up with reality.

Please spell check this message you idiot, cause I'm just too tired.

PS Their is a reason why Iranians are the biggest bloggers in the world.

Hesam, get your facts straight

Go Go dancing is not lapdancing... so I encourage you to take your own advise and get the facts straight...

the girl dances at clubs... NOT STRIP Clubs, dance clubs...

so just like you said... it is very much like belly dancing... as a matter of fact... most belly dancers go up and dance infront of an audience, and people go up to them and put money in their shorts and or tops...

where as go go dancing at clubs, NOT STRIP CLUbs, doesn't even involve this sort of touching....

she dances while people around her dance at the club... people can only look at her, and no she's not giving people lap dances....

maybe that's what the problem is with all these coments...enghadar bisavadin hamatoon ke stripper o gogo dancer ghati kardin....

she is exactly like a traditional belly dancer...she dances in front of an audience... THATS IT

for touching you'll have to go to a strip club buddy... i'm sure u know what thats like

Let's Get Some Facts Straight

1. Maryam is NOT Iranian. She's an American born from Iranian parents.
2. Bellydancing is not Gogo dancing. Bellydancing is an Arabic/ancient Persian style of dance where the dancer performs in front of audience. A Gogodancer on the other hand is a light-prostitute! who lapdances and tries to bring guys sexual arousal by teasing and touching them while dancing.
There's nothing wrong with a respectful Bellydancing and Gogo dancing is dirty in every culture no matter how you justify it.
3. Maryam basically says how she herself feels deep-down about what she's doing by saying "Iranians think what I do is...so and so.." and she does it because she wants quick money to pay for her high expense without actually working a real job for it. She prefers using her body and sexuality to make money which is again not considered decent in any culture.
4. She's free to do what she wants and feel "smart and educated" doing it as long as she's not harming anyone but herself.

To SH , Atefeh

Atefeh must never be forgotten. Colonel was the one who brought her up first on this board. He obviously truly cares about Atefeh. He was ambivalent about Maryam's choices but he wrestled with his conscience and made the connection with Atefeh, and concluded that it was hyprocritical for him to mourn the one and condemn the other. He called for all Iranians, no matter how conservative their personal morality may be, to subject themselves to the same self-scrutiny he was willing to undergo, and to stand behind Maryam. His call for solidarity was passionate and clear. It is documented right here (except maybe the part about f-ing up the boyfriend.... ;D ).

Personally, I find your extension of the connection between Maryam and Atefeh to the Shah's political victims to be an astute one, but I can't for the life of me understand how you can seriously suggest Colonel doesn't care about Atefeh, or how you hope to change hearts and minds with such unfair statements.
Atefeh.
Rosie

Maryam, don't even wasted

Maryam, don't even wasted your time on this site. I can't believe the comments I'm reading. To everyone who wrote negative comments...you're a bunch of idiots.

First of all, look up the word "stripping" in the dictionary. To "strip" is to remove clothing or covering from. To "strip" is to remove all excess detail from; reduce to essentials. Correct me if I'm wrong, but not once in the video did I see her remove anything. Her "essentials" were always covered. Stripping is not dancing, and dancing is not stripping.

I consider myself a very educated person who continued with higher education, and in that sense fit the "iranian norm". I'm the "good little iranian girl" that older iranian parents always love. However, it is because of you people here that I find myself straying away from iranians. You guys are extremely ignorant, close-minded, and judgmental. How unfortunate that you guys fit the stereotype of iranians.

Now, let's think about bellydancing...
Iranians accept bellydancing. Bellydancing is part of our culture. Hmm...let's think of their outfit. Of course their entire stomach and back is uncovered. Their chest is barely covered. They wear long skirts, but have slits up to their ass. They dance extremely seductively for an audience, and they get paid for it. So, I guess they're all sluts who strip, right?

The only way Maryam differs from bellydancers (which iranians aprove of), is that her clothes and dancing aren't as seductive and she doesn't have old perverted "nadid-badid" iranian men drueling over her while their wives sit next to them.

Maryam...you're beatiful, and have so much going for you. The last thing you are and ever will be is a "white-trash, coke-addict stripper".

Kaveh, Colonel, Maryam

Motshakeram!

Love,
Rosie

Dancer

All I see are 2 GEEKS!

This is my reply to all who saw my video

First and foremost, I would like to say that I understood when agreeing to film this vpod for Bebin Television, that I would receive mixed reactions. I am fully aware of the consequences that come from being so open about my life and my dreams. I filmed this v-pod a year ago, and I can honestly say I do not regret it in the least bit. I am very proud of who I am, both as an Iranian-American and as a dancer. I adore my family and embrace my culture, and I am so happy that my parents raised me to be open-minded and appreciative of everyone regardless of whether they follow society's norms. I understand that my profession has created a great deal of buzz within our community. I am not inappropriate. I am a performer, a choreographer, and a dance instructor. I do not see myself as any different than other dancers trying to break into the industry and fulfill their dreams. What makes me so bad for doing what so many ballerinas, belly dancers, hiphop dancers have already done? I love to dance, and I love to teach dancing. I am so happy to have the opportunity to help bring an awareness of the Iranian culture and Middle Eastern culture to so many girls who would not necessarily have learned about it if it were not for their love of dancing. At the end of the day, as long as I know I am living true to my heart, my parents love me for me, and I am following my dreams, I sleep happy and extremely thankful to God for His blessings. Happiness and success comes from within, and I would rather be happy for who I am, than to live my life as someone I am not just to avoid criticism. Thank you all for your feedback. I appreciate each and everyone of your comments. Merci.
Love Always,

Mariam

Not cheating

I corrected the spelling on a couple of words and added the paragraph about the boyfriend, who I thought I had mentioned originally. I'd be perfectly fine if my post stayed in its original spot.

Bravo Maryam - go after your goals

I hope you guys aren't watching the Iranian music videos from LA - She dances in a lot of them. In fact, she and other professional dancers make lots of the Iranian arts as fun and vibrant as they seems.

She's a talented dancer and one day, when she opens her own dance studio and continues instructing, I hope all of you rhythm-lacking por-az nazar bastards won't bring your kids, wives to learn how to dance.

Maybe you'll buy DVDs from Jennifer Lopez or Britney Spears or I don't know who else. But in true iranian fashion - You won't support a fellow Iranian who wants to make it as a dancer. She's probably better off without you guys and your "support" anyway.