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Kopol vs. Topol III
Battle of the bulge
Parts (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6)

May 30, 2002
The Iranian

Looking cool
By Siamack Salari

Diet is progressing well. I was in France yesterday and stumbled upon a sushi bar. Two wooden trays full of sashimi later (washed down with Asahi beer) and I was extremely pleased that I had not succumbed to rice chips or pasta.

You see the worst thing about dieting is being on ones own in a place far from home. In times past I used to go and find a Chinese "eat till you puke" restaurant and gorge myself. Varinder would be none the wiser by the time I got home - even the receipt would not be a giveaway. Now that I am on such a public diet, there is another voice in my head, actually lots of voices, the voices coming from all of the emails of support, empathy and very kindly, sponsorship, which I have received.

One email in particular drew my attention. The author will remain anonymous. In it he explained how fit he was, how he trained and even wrote out a whole list of do's and don'ts when exercising. There was also an attached jpg picture file showing a cool looking, musculated individual, from the waist up, wearing sunglasses. He had a six pack, a tan and proper pecks.

I replied very quickly explaining that I too wanted a body like his. A few minutes later I received a reply to my reply suggesting I use my dumbbells to tone up and reduce loose skin as I lose weight. Before designing and exercise regime, however, he needed pictures of me wearing nothing but a pair of shorts so that he could see what I looked like and which exercises to focus on.

I placed a camera on the tripod in the kitchen, undressed to my underpants and pushed the self timer switch. Then Varinder surprised me.

"What the hell are you doing standing like that in the kitchen?"

"Taking a picture of myselfÖ"

"For who?"

I explained the email.

"So let me get this straight. You want to send a semi naked picture of yourself to a complete stranger over the internet?"

"He is offering to help me!"

"There is no way I am going to let you subject innocent readers of The Iranian to naked pictures of your body."

She walked out of the kitchen with a bewildered look on her face.

In the end I did find some clips (one -- two -- three) to send him. These were pictures V took of me one morning in the kitchen when I was having a snack attack. She was threatening to send them to Jahanshah but never did. She claimed it might ruin his breakfast.

On a final note, I have lost a further kilogram and weigh in at 102kgs (as of Wednesday the 30th). Please help with emails of support and sponsorship for the benefit of the Iranian and to stop me publishing further semi naked pictures of myself.

The scale doesn't work
By Jahanshah Javid

I swear this in not an excuse.

I did my running routine for three of the past five days. Or was it two? Anyway, I have been eating very little as well.

But for some reason when I went on the scale today... it was obviously broken. (You need QuickTime to see and hear. It's free)

I mean how could that be? I exercised and I resisted all (edible) temptations (my daughter likes to torture me. But I'm strong. I shall not give in).

I just bought the damn scale. How could it be broken already? Ah! I knew it. Made in Switzerland. They make the worst scales. I read an article about it... somewhere.

So given all my hard work in the past five days, I currently weigh about one hundred and eighty... no, ninty-one pounds. Yeah, 191. I've lost about... two pounds since last week. I'll have the proof for you next week after I get a new scale.

I'll be running (around) in Washington DC this weekend.

Until next week,


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