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The Newlyweds (2)
06-Oct-2008
Subject: [Hi brother]
From: Pejman, pejman4444@hotmail.com
To: Payam, payamp@phtechnology.ir
February 3, 2:35:03 am
___________________________________
Hi Dear Brother,
First, I apologize for this tardy response to your letter. What with the wedding, honeymoon trip and our return to Toronto, getting acquainted with my new life, I have not really had the time to digest all of it myself, let alone write you an account of it.
The wedding can best be described as a circus. The successive faces of various amoos, khalehs, dokhtar-dayees, friends, business associates etc. whirled around me like we were all on some sort of a giant merry go round, until they all started blending and blurring together. As the wedding guests lunged towards me, with their wide, grimacing mouths and teeth as sharp as their designer suits, I could not tell whether they were going to kiss me or bite me. Their glistening eyes slid from the top of my head to the tip of my toes, measuring me up like I was the prime attraction at the circus freak show. I don’t remember any of the faces or names apart from Nassim’s immediate family of course, her parents and younger sister Kati.
The wedding was a grand ballroom affair at some fancy hotel in downtown Toronto. Yes, contrary to our hometown, the more downtown you go here, the fancier it gets. After a while, the combination of the strobing lights, the overpowering smell of all the flowers (they were invading from everywhere, from the ceiling down to the walls and the tables, like some sort of a bacterial infection), and the throbbing of the music beats from the amplifiers, all made me dizzy. Feeling suffocated and a bit nauseous, I succeeded in escaping the circus and I started walking down the hotel hallways. I walked and walked, opening doorway after doorway that each opened onto yet aother long corridor, until the sound of the reception was but a distant grumble. I kept walking until I came to some French doors that opened onto a mercifully deserted balcony overlooking the city. At least, I thought it was deserted at first
After I leaned down over the balcony, trying to catch my breath, I heard a giggle behind me and a teasing voice telling me :
__ « Don’t jump ! You still have the honeymoon to look forward to. »
I turned around to discover Kati, sitting with her bare feet tucked beneath her, her ballgown flowing over her chair, a shawl tossed over her shoulders to protect against the coolness of the night. With one hand, she was holding a cigarette, while with the other, she was offering me one from her silver cigarette case.
I gratefully acepted and we sat there for a little while, smoking in silence, admiring the admittedly gorgeous city view.
You must remember Leili, our neihgbors’ young daughter, who perished under the rubble of an Iraqi bomb when we were children ? Kati is the picture of what I imagined Leili growing up to be. The same long, dark, curly hair, the slim waist and graceful hands, and the honey-toned skin of someone who likes to live her life outdoors. But what hit me the most were those eyes, dark like her hair, but shining with what seems like hundreds of gold specks, that deep yellow gold of Iran that shines like the sun. Until I met Kati, I never thought that I would see a pair of eyes made of gold like Leili’s.
Anyways, after the wedding, Nassim and I made our way to Mexico for our honeymoon. I have as you know never been outside of Iran so I was looking forward to experencing the culture and history that I have read about Mexico. But it seems that the rich Westerners who travel to that country like to remain in the protective bubble of their 5 star hotel resort, keeping contact with the natives as minimal as possible, unless it’s to fetch another Margarita or turn down their beds. I don’t know why we bothered to travel at all. We could have gotten drunk and swam in the pool just as well in any hotel in Toronto, I assume. But Nassim seemed so excited that i did not want to shed any shadow on her happiness.
Well now we are back in Toronto and I suppose I have to think about what step I, or rather, my character, «the ideal husband », would take next. Nassim has hinted oh so sweetly that her father expects me to work alongside him in his building business. (It seems buildng is the thing to do in Toronto nowadays, every corner you turn, there is some sort of new, monstrous condominium tower being built). Well, I did notice that she and her parents kept introducing me at the wedding as « Mohandes » though I have no idea where they got that title from. I did manage to finish one year in architecture school before dropping out so maybe that’s what they are hanging their hat on. Come to think of it, maybe that is all one needs in our community to receive the title of « Mohandes » especially if one has the money to silence any would-be critics. Well, I will write you again when I know more. In the meantime, please send my regards to Baba and Maman joon and give them my news, naturally with the type of spin on it that could make them happy and that you are so good at delivering.
Oh by the way, you will soon receive an envelope containing a sealed letter which I wll ask you to please deliver unopened to Mrs. Sedigheh M…. at 186 Khiabane K…, Plaque B-2. It was given to Nassim and me to forward to Iran by a young Iranian woman who was in Mexico on her honeymoon also. Her husband, an Iranian-American from Los Angeles, befriended us and we had dinner together a couple of times. One of those acquaintances that can only be struck in that sort of vacation environment but that would be unthinkale in everyday life otherwise. Like Nassim, he has « imported » his spouse, Firoozeh, from the good old Mother country. On one of the evenings that we all spent together, Firoozeh secretly confided a letter to Nassim with the implied understanding that she did not want her husband to know about it. Nassim wanted to open it of course, with the type of foozooli that only a woman can have, but I admonished her not to and so I trust you will also respect this young woman’s privacy and deliver this letter to its intended as she would have wished >>> part 3
Greetings dear brother. Send all my love to Azadeh aziz and the kids, as always.
Pejman
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| The Newlyweds (20, Conclusion) | 27 | Nov 24, 2008 |
| The Newlyweds (19) | 5 | Nov 22, 2008 |
| The Newlyweds (18) | 15 | Nov 19, 2008 |
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turn down bed
by Rubi (not verified) on Wed Oct 08, 2008 09:27 PM PDTI have heard this phrase in hotels often, specially in East Coast USA, and is done in the evening. Here is a copy of definition:
Basically, they just pull back the sheets on your bed and usually put a little mint on your pillow.
Some hotels will also tidy the room up a little, put your jammies out, etc. And sometimes put new towels, shampoo, etc.
Finally, if your room has a sofa sleeper, trundle bed, etc. they will pull that out and get it made up for sleeping. That way you don't have to do it.
Hooked
by Jahanshah Javid on Wed Oct 08, 2008 10:20 AM PDTIt's a fascinating story. Poor Nassim, poor Pejman!
Who said the person is at fault?
by Anonymous Reader (not verified) on Tue Oct 07, 2008 05:11 PM PDTWho said “we” have not heard of the phrase 'turn down the bed'? As far as I know I said, “I have never heard this phrase…”, and asked what it means in Canada, so where is the implied arrogance? Who said the person is at fault? I guess one should not ask questions, or ask questions after a whole bunch of tareef o tamjeed, instead of being direct. Wasn’t it enough that I have already complemented her for her writings several times before?
Turn down the bed...
by Anonymous but not arrogant (not verified) on Tue Oct 07, 2008 07:39 AM PDTJust because "we" have not heard something does it mean the person using the expression is at fault?
The expression "turn down the bed" was even used in a song:
//www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTLR3zHxnr8
Dear Jaleho
by laleh haghighi on Tue Oct 07, 2008 05:12 AM PDTThank you for your kind words and I am happy that this story has held your interest so far. I hope it continues to do so.
Dear Anonymous Reader
by laleh haghighi on Mon Oct 06, 2008 07:30 PM PDTThank you for your comment and for following up from Part 1. I don't know what to tell you about where I have heard or read the expression "turn down their beds". You are correct the meaning is to clean up, at least as I understand it. About the immigration issues, I did not really think as far as you on that issue. It is simply a plot device. But I an understand how the unrealistic aspect of this and possibly other unrealistic aspects of the story would bother you and other readers to the point that you would lose interest in continuing. (Although I hope you do continue to read this story!) As for the groom's whining, all I can say is to repeat what I said earlier about all these characters are based in some way or others on real life persons or combination of persons I have met, some I have been closer to than others. It is not my intention to make these characters likeable or unlikeable, or stand in as symbols of all the Iranians living abroad, or of all Iranian women. It is hard to explain, but to me, they just are. I don't really pass judgment on them. If I do, it's not intentional. These are realities as I have perceived them in my experience and I wanted to share them with others in my community. Sorry for the long post but since you took the time to follow up, and to write detailed observations, I wanted to address your points. I sincerely thank you for your comments and hope to read more things from your perspective in the future.
'turn down their beds"?
by Anonymous Reader (not verified) on Mon Oct 06, 2008 04:10 PM PDTWhat does "turn down their beds" mean in Canada? I have never heard this phrase in the USA, I don't know why. The closest thing I could look up in dictionary is "to turn over; fold down". I guess it means maid coming and cleaning their room.
*****
As I said before the exchanges of emails are unrealistic, this one is even more, especially the guy coming from Iran going to Mexico for honeymoon so soon. I once contacted Mexican embassy from USA to find out if I, with an American passport, could take my elderly parents with Iranian passports to Mexico for a visit. The immediate answer was no way, with a ton of roadblocks.
Anyway this part was even lamer than the first part. The groom's whining about his predicament is so unbelievable that I just want to get up and slap him. He should be elated to have himself a wife, live in Canada, go to Mexico, and I'm sure soon he'll have a thing for his sister-in-law, the forbidden lust.
But don't get discouraged by what I said. I wouldn't say anything if I didn't like what I read. Something about it has gotten my attention, that's why I'm writing, and in your future installments if you don't see any comments from me then you know that I got bored with it.
Good Luck,
Laleh, Actually your
by TheMrs on Mon Oct 06, 2008 02:51 PM PDTLaleh, Actually your writing is not amateurish at all. It's great. Original idea, impeccable english. Obviously, I'm not a critic, this one is a bit strange & doesn't tickle me where it should. Doesn't mean there's anything bad about your writing. Somethings I like better than others, but everyone is the same.
I'm so glad you responded on the technical question. I asked our IT guy and he said that an encrypted zipped file with a password that only Payam would have, works. :)
Actually, this story is catchy beacuse we all have some parts of this experience.
Dear The Mrs
by Jaleho on Mon Oct 06, 2008 02:42 PM PDTI think the mere fact that you read the story carefully enough to make good comments is a proof that the story is GOOD for the purpose it is serving!
Maybe not logical as you indicated, contrived at parts, but hey, who said an entertaining serial story should be any of that? As a matter of fact, this is the firts time I read a short story in Iranian.com "to - be-continued," and I actually bothered to continue, let alone the first time that I read it I thought...."hope she writes the next one soon!"
For most others (except the story of a little doggie once, and a fish story another time), I tend to quit shortly after I start.
I think, one reason that the story is such that you and I DID read and follow it is the light hearted and unpretentious way the author is writing a story which is a GOOD REFLECTION OF OUR TIMES, so many movies are made in Iran on themes like this. There are many Iranians in Iran and abroad who share some kind of story like this, less namak va felfel of course since this is just an entertainment.
Hey, I am writing this as I drink my tea with dates, majoola dates, yum :-)
Dear TheMrs
by laleh haghighi on Mon Oct 06, 2008 02:33 PM PDTYour points ar very well taken. I know that my writing is very amateurish. I try to work on it every day to better myself. I know that I am blessed to have a forum like iranian.com where the editor believes in me and encourages me, though he has far superior contributors. I enjoy and acknowledge receiving all comments, whether positive or negative. You have taken a lot of time to go through the writing and point out what is wrong with it and for that I have to thank you for your time and your interest. It is much more useful and constructive for me than if you had remained silent or given it a dismissive one-liner. The gaffe about sending the letter via email and also at the same time forwarding a sealed envelope is a big mistake on my part. There is no sugar coating around it. The only way I can remedy is to edit the content a bit which I will do. As for the stereotypical or cliche characters, believe it or not I am basing these people on real life people I know. No, not someone specific. They are a combination of many people and circumstances I have been intimately familiar with. I am trying to portray them as having multi facets. Maybe after a few more chapters (that is, if you still have the interest in pursuing the reading) more layers will be peeled away revealing their background, motivation, thought process etc. The rest of your criticism is well taken and well put. Thank you.
IMHO
by TheMrs on Mon Oct 06, 2008 01:05 PM PDTI'm not one to insist on logic when it comes to fiction...but the story sounds made up for the purpose of some eventual nasihat. It’s not working for me.
Inconsistencies:
This guy’s sending an email but enclosing a sealed letter? How do you do that? He scanned it and send it as attachment? If so, then he DID open it. Are these letters or emails? What am I missing here? I would appreciate clarification on this.
“younger sister Kati” Doesn’t Payam already know who Kati is? Introducing her to us could be done in a more subtle way.
“Greetings dear brother” Who emails that way? I was waiting for the rest of the sentence to be “hurry hither and take this letter forth and summon the king”
“Just a quick note to let you know I have arrived safe and sound. The day after tomorrow is the wedding” He emails to tell his family he has arrived safe and sound? Toronto is full of stores with cheap calling cards. This is unrealistic. Remember, this guy is sacrificing himself for his mother! He would have called the family.
“I’m ready to play this character” I don’t know of a single human male who thinks or can admit to that line of thinking. He might play a character, but it’s not typically male to talk this way. Again, unrealistic. Especially since he gets to go to kharej and work with his wife’s rich husband. 99% of the men in Iran would love this. Is Pejman that exception? Hard to believe, hard to believe…“I apologize for this tardy response to your letter” …come hither thou shalt not speaketh
And what’s with the girl next door who died under the rubbles twist? As a reader, I’m confused. Is this where I have to feel sorry for Pejman or roll my eyes and say “puhleez find another cliché to make me feel sorry for you”?
Views on women.
“Me, who had all but given up on love, and vowed to remain single forever”, “I had all but given up on finding my Prince Charming”
Is this how a desperate woman sounds like? Pejman admitted he’s never amounted to much, so this chick goes all the way to Iran and imports a loser guy who hasn’t amounted to much? Not to mention Pejman is clearly mentally unstable, (he bracketed himself for days in his room as a teenager? WTF?) If that’s her standard, why did she have such a hard time where she lives?
I mean the assumption is that Pejman isn't one of the "frogs" the bride mentioned in part one. Then, what's a frog?
I think the women portayed here are a frail mother, gossiping friend, stupid irrational desperate bride, kati the slutty sister, a possibly abused stranger and so on...Very unrealistic portrayal of Iranian women.
Basically, even though this is a cute story, it makes no sense to me. The idea is cool, with the emails and all but the execution is probably harder than one would think.