ADULTERY

ok mr capt_.. you cheat on

ok mr capt_.. you cheat on your wife fine, but i have to tell you she cheats on you too perhaps but maybe your score is 4 to 2 in your favor. you are right.

truthfullness

Actually dude, you have it backwards. It is men who statistically cheat more than women. This trend is almost universal.

-YT

Anonymous<<>>

Age has nothing to do with ability of a man in satisfying a woman or the other way around. Even in USA, more and more young women in their 20's are attracted to older men in their 40's or even 50's. When asked about the age gap, these young women cite men's maturity, tenderness, established life, and [knowing what to do with a woman].

Biologically, men peak their sexual ability at age 18-22, where women peak at 35-40. Do not dispute this statement without researching it.

Another issue to consider is that, relatively speaking sex for men is more of a physical interaction, where for women  is more of emotional. Proof of this is in the way men and women achieve orgasm. For men there must be penetration, where as for women, simple touch and tenderness can achieve it. Another proof is  woman's ability to have multiple orgasm, where as men have ONE.

With all that said, culturally Iranian men see their wives copy of their mothers. as a result it becomes close to impossible for a healthy Iranian women to express her desires, fantasies and even fetishes[if any]. When a woman dares to say anything[case example., the essay] she is called a [jendeh].

Same men who are masalan [gheyrati] about these issues, joke with their own male friends by calling each other[khar kosteh, madar jendeh] and such. But when a woman talks or writes in a manor that is sexually explicit, these type of men scream[GHEYRAT] and morality. However the same men pay for a few minutes with a prostitute. This my friend is called hypocrisy, because no decent men is supposed to BUY sex, right?

TheMrs.

Firstly thanks for your explanation. Just between you and me, I am a bit [KHENG] .... ;-)

Secondly this gentleman say: [Those young girls who were auctioned off to older men with money will never find out their womanhood until after their first marriage or through having an affair.]

Didn't I say that before you know it somebody is going to connect a simple[bokon bokon] story to IR and Islam.

Regards

-YT

persian W

Very great comment! Especially this part :

1- I’m not a literary critic by any means, but this seems to me as too dry and mechanical , as if every other components of the story than the sexuality, are reduced to a redundant and useless matter. I assume It would be tasteless to talk about sexuality out of an emotional context particularly for women whom their sexuality less likely to emerge without a stronger emotional pretext .

You got it all.

This is what make me to think that the writer has no "real experience in this domain!! I mean, all these stories are based on fantasies and not real (which is nothing wrong) but lack the needed emotional context. That's what I was talking about, when I said:

If this writer tries to write a romantic story or a novel this is a
total fail. There's not romanticism neither a nice writing skill or
flaw in this story

to Arash78

Arash78,
Will you be virgin to your wife? Are you willing to hold on your sexual desire until you marry? or you will carry baggages and enforce your past experince to your future wife? don't you beleive that only a virgin is good for another virgin?
do you know that all Iranain girls/women wants to be the only intimate partner for their husband, regardless if they are virgin or not?

the truth is that most women

the truth is that most women cheat on their husbands specially living in the west.
the husbands who are so busy with work whether it is a chelo kababi or high tech jobs they never find out. the women smile and say to the man so happy you come home. he goes to sleep early being tired the woman dreams about another man and smiles how dumb her husband is.
so this is a reality check message for you men who think are happy marrying the most beautiful one you could find.
just don't cry

To "69"

Virginity before marriage is not an "archaic" tradition but a choice. I am personally much much more comfortable to marry a girl who has had no prior experience than one who carries a heavy baggage of past relationships, sexual experiences, emotional history...etc I also like to feel the exclusivity of being the only one who has slept with my wife and not to share this intimacy with a bunch of other guys in her past.

This is a personal choice I make and it has nothing to do with traditions. I was raised in the West and I am NOT from a conservative family.

And Iranian women have to understand and except this very fundamental need of men. One of the main reasons why a great number of Iranian men just refuse to get married nowadays, is that women are confusing real life with "Sex and the City"! If women go back to their more traditional, natural, decent, innocent ways, there will be much less problems in and outside marriages. Don't you think so "Mrs 69"?!

Argaith

to Argaith,
You are intellignet & really underestanding..
lucky your wife..

what you said is true, if iranian men could underestand it, they could enhance their life in every aspect of it...

What I find interesting

What I find interesting about this story / writing:
1- It is ground-breaking in terms of using a language which has been a taboo for Farsi literature
2- It is ground-breaking in terms of talking about a subject which always has been a taboo (even for men’s sexuality I don’t recall any example of a descriptive depiction of sexuality out of the context of ‘hajv’)( My dictionary is out of reach).
What I dislike about this story/writing:
1- I’m not a literary critic by any means, but this seems to me as too dry and mechanical , as if every other components of the story than the sexuality, are reduced to a redundant and useless matter. I assume It would be tasteless to talk about sexuality out of an emotional context particularly for women whom their sexuality less likely to emerge without a stronger emotional pretext .
2- I haven’t read all the previous writings from Parinaz, but for the few that I did I feel a bad sense towards men, even the ones whom the main character fell in ‘love’ with. They almost look like the “dastmale masraf shode” for sexual satisfaction of other party. They’re dumped.
3- premature ejaculation syndrome is treatable if that was the case. but if she really didn't like the guy, its a different story and why beat around the bush by sexual dissatisfaction excuse?

So what! time's change women are wanted same thing men wanted...

Usually can be life style changed but depend on us;

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZTa4CwDxfk

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ZogOjKdV7Y

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHQG-ykxdD4

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ual8Hbuk92Y

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkqRbeUdmg0

Is it just me?!!

I don't know...but somehow reading porn in Farsi feels wrong...

Parinaz story is more than

Parinaz story is more than common either in USA or in Iran.

Most Iranian men who marry young girls should know that their wives desire someone their own age and equally attractive as their sexual partner. Those young girls who were auctioned off to older men with money will never find out their womanhood until after their first marriage or through having an affair.

An 18 year old girl's libido is equal to an 18 year old not a 35 year old, less-than attractive fart.

It happens all the time whether we like or not.

archaic virginiy culture

Actually I consider myself loyal, decent, with family values. It is unnatural, and quite unfair to impose virginity on girls. If prior to my first marriage, I was involved with a boyfriend, then perhaps I had a better idea of carefully, and more knowledgebaly choosing someone, and decreasing the chances of a failed marriage. I am not just talking about sex, it is the whole relationship package. The mental cheating was temporary, and it lost it novelty after a while, and with my sexual frustations, along with other issues, I had to get out.

I betrayed!!!

I would like to congratulate to Parinaz for this work. Either this is a short story based on a real experience or only a piece of writing (perhaps based on fantacies), I admire her bravery as a woman who talks about women feelings so openly.

I am a man and I must admit that a lot us men don't know any thing about mutual pleasure during sex. I have come across a lot of women who seemed to hate sex mainly due to the experiences of other women who have not enjoyed it all.

As for us Iranians lot, I think our very traditional culture and the influence of religion have a great role in this, especially when it comes to a matter like this.

I wish Parinaz all the best and hope to read more of her work.

Argaith

Pleeeaase, keep backward eastern morality to yourselve(s).

Javadagha you preach your morality, I preach mine. You find your followings and I'll find mine. Don't ask what you don't want others to ask of you.

As an Iranian-American of course I value western morality and want to preach it to Iranians (and Americans). Same way I preach my eastern morality to both Iranians and Americans.

Not that Iranians (inside and outside Iran) really need me though. In Iran you can go and see for yourself or read tons of articles about young and old Iranians who are so western oriented and like all things western. All the rantings and sermons of Ahmadinejad and company has not been able to put a dent in it.

One of the western moralities is to tell you to; you do what you do and I do what I do. Some versions of eastern moralities, such as the backwards one which you refer to, like to tell others what to do despite what they do themselves. That I do not preach.

We have sunk so low

Javadagha is right. I am also sick and tired of all this promotion of immorality by the name of liberation, emancipation, modernity...etc

Look how low we have sunk. We have reached a point where an Iranian woman, perhaps a mother, writes a garbage like this, filled with vulgarity and obscenity in a public forum and we applaud her for her courage and for "liberating" us from our "morals" and "values"!!

Then there are other women in this forum boasting about fantasizing about other men while sleeping with their husband and proudly stating that they divorced their spouse because sex was "boring"!!What happened to family values, loyalty, decency, shame?!!!!!

We have turned into a nation with no substance, no character, no identity, no values. Just a bunch of cheap imitations of others. So weak and yet so pretentious.

Pleeeaase, keep western morality to yourselve(s).

Ari jaan; thanks for your search/comment.  When I was a researcher, we used to have fun proving or disproving many theories.  We have learned most of what we know or technological advancements from the behavior of the creatures which you mentioned.

 I am enjoying living in backward countries where morality is not about sleeping around or fantasizing as if there is nothing more important than sex.  Please do not judge backward countries by extreme examples or viewing Fox channel, I lived in the West, so pleeeaaase, keep western morality to yourselves. 

Javad

Javadagha, careful using nature as moral guide

Here's the full article. Since DNA tests became cheap a few years ago, there's been lot's of data busting supposedly monogamous critters.

mental cheating

When I was first married, I used to fatasize about other men, while sleeping with my hubby. I eventually got divorced, because sexually he bored me, but I never actually cheated on him, or even flirted with anyone. Next time around getting married, I knew what I wanted, and have not mentally cheated on my 2nd hubby. Looking back, I feel fine with it. I was a virgin when I got married first, and never experienced relationship with anyone, or knew what I wanted. I think only backward cultures demand virginity, it is like their world revolves around a tiny tissue, no wonder ALL those countries are so backwards.

Even animals have decency . . .

I did not read the entire article, but enough to say that it did not come across as original.   My thinking is that this type of behavior is not normal.    By cheating, the guilt will outweigh the joy (if the person has an iota of conscious).  There are young people who might read this sort of articles; JJ should consider, some sort of access for articles which promotes promiscuity.  

Yes to talk about it, try to solve it, or get the hell out of relationship without ruining the value of human decency.  Even animals act better.

A true story: 

When we were kids (7-8 years old), we used to have many creatures in our complex or our neighborhood in Sari.  Two pigeons were in love and always together.  This went on for 5 years (a long time for pigeons).  A neighborhood kid was wondering why the female never laid any eggs to have young pigeons.  So in his mind he came up with a solution.  He went and stole an egg from another nest and placed it in the nest of loving birds.  The female sat on it for a couple of hours, but when the male pigeon saw the egg, he flew away  . . . never be seen again … even animals have decency.

.

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Take a break :o)

Solo, my turn to cry "ouch"

D

Do you ALWAS read comments this carefully before you fly off the handle? or is it a chip on your shoulder?

Anon. fish says:

"my husband himself said that sometimes he doesn't read the whole article but just the comments."

And....your careful interpretion:

 "Anonymous Fish: I suppose if your husband told you to do it this way, it must be OK!"

I hope you understand the difference.

O Captain my captain and Azad

I wasn't talking about liberation and I wasn't even talking about cheating. I think I didn't express myself adequately, so here is the second try.

This is an erotic peice. Whether it's well written or not, fact or fiction, by a man or woman are all secondary points.

My comment was that I don't understand why erotic material from the point of view of an iranian woman seems to be mostly fom a negative view.

Why can't there be an erotic story or one about physical relationships where the woman isn't a victim? I named the few I've read here before, there's always something wrong with these woman. Can't we have a normal woman in an erotic peice.

To Fariba09

You said: "And, every time that i got turned on by a man, i was reminded of my womanness; and in turn, that has helped me to approach my hubby with a more confident view; which has led to better communication, and therefore better sex!"

What you're saying is extremely insulting and humiliating to your husband. You would never accept a similar reasoning by your husband if he stated that he goes to strip clubs or fantasizes about young girls to "communicate" better with you! What's wrong with you Iranian women?!!! Lust is lust and to fantasize about other people when you're married, is destructive and dishonorable. If you can not control it, at least don't sugarcoat it as something good and positive.

D

my husband doesn't TELL me to do anything.  i simply stated that he doesn't always read the whole article.  it's not justifying anything.  why would that preclude you from answering MY questions. 

again, why the hostility?

why does where i come from matter?  i'm american if that's what you're asking.  what does that have to do with anything?

Solo Jan

Although you told us all to shut up, But I have to hand to you. You nailed the issue.

Perfectly put. I tell you one thing, we would be reading the same story even IF she was happy with her marriage.

because the key is NOT to giving in into the temptation.

-YT

All Due Respect

For all of you ladies and gentlemen who see this story as story of a woman in pursuit of self exploration and liberation I have only one thing to say.

One does not liberate her/himself by sleeping with another MARRIED person. One liberates him/herself by coming in terms with ones sexuality, desires and wants.

TheMrs.

This thing has nothing to do with generational gap[bullcrap]. If the writer want to use sensationalism[kos, kon kir, wet dry etc etc] to attract attention to poorly written LUST story fine with me. But do not sit there and analyze the crap out a half-ass porn story and call it LIBERATION of oppressed Iranian women.

Agha jan........... Cheating on your spouse is the most inhumane [najavan mardaneh] act that a person could ever possibly do to his/her partner. The trauma that this act leaves on the cheated never, ever, under no circumstance goes away.

Lets just read the poorly written porn story and have fun with it. If not, before you know it, someone somehow is going to link this [bokon bokon] to IR and Islam    ;-)

-YT

Anonymous Fish: I suppose if

Anonymous Fish: I suppose if your husband told you to do it this way, it must be OK! So, I won't need to answer your questions from the other comment.

And you said you are from where, again?!