Selling sex

How the social ladder turns a boy’s basic need for love into a commodity!


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Selling sex
by Soroush Seifi
11-Sep-2008
 

The Reflections:

In my usual travels abroad, one thing has become clear, I always had the most “fun” when I was travelling in former communist and current socialist nations like Poland, Czech Republic, and Cuba.

I have difficulty explaining to you why my opposite sex in these countries seems to be more receptive to my approach and more likely to hold my hands and build bridges with me. However, I can re-iterate some possible answers that have crossed my conversations. Some friends suggest that it is perhaps the perception of someone from a rich nation like Canada that makes these people excited for my love. Yet equally valid could be the culture that may exist in the psyche of quite a lot of the people in these nations; that sexuality does not have a price and basic attraction is enough! Falling in love with the first look is a common occurrence in these countries.

In my opinion, the more modern and “civilized” nations that I have travelled to (Sweden, France, Germany, etc.) the more layered the expression of sexuality! More likely than not, in order to get love, a boy must first show power and dominate his future lover! In my very own Canada for example, there is a show on Comedy Channel Keys to the VIP, where guys are forced to act a certain way and present “game” to the opposite sex in order to attract them. Game is a form of domination.

Why Domination?

Based on my life experience, the psyche of people from birth seems to be influenced by parents, media, culture, religion etc. These forces of coercsion control how we form opinions about the world, how to live our lives, who to trust, and who to appreciate, respect, and only then eventually love. The decisions we make every moment are partially affected by what we were told and what we experienced in the past.

That is why so many little girls for example learn that it is important for their match to be a good provider. Many little boys get the parental advice: get a good job; become a doctor or engineer, perhaps in order to increase their chances of having more options in picking sexual partners.

“Game” as presented by Keys to the VIP seems to be a certain way of speaking and carrying oneself that resonate power and ability to dominate. If you can prove to a girl that you are better than she is (being better usually means that you have more “power” than she does; maybe more money) you can earn her love: she will cuddle with you!

Get Your Hands Out of My Pocket!

People have basic needs. Despite our sex, we all need to eat, be clothed and sheltered for the elements; but I think that above all, we need to be loved!

In studies done on apes for example, baby apes were more likely to drink from a bottle of milk coming from a source that was cuddly versus the basic bottle of milk.

I think that this is also the reality of what human beings need: holding each other and being intimate! We all see, feel pain, love, get heartbroken, smell etc. the same way! Cross-culturally, our family dynamics and friendships take similar turns and twists. Most of us simply want to be happy and the one chromosome that makes a boy different from a girl and the one gene that makes a black different from a white in reality, I do not think, does much in separating us; unless we allow it in our thought processes! Whether a beggar or a king, human beings seem to be more or less similar when it comes to these basic needs and basic experiences of the world that we occupy.

Put your love in the hands of the corporation, the capitalist, and solely materialistic entities, and they “separate and conquer” us. Instead of inclusion, we have exclusion. Instead of dancing together, we get house music (no offense to house music lovers, but it is so difficult to meet anyone while in such an atmosphere)! The corporate calls the basic and beautiful need of every human to be loved, “desperation;” we are told from birth that we should hide these needs. Sexuality in a conservative, religious, or capitalist society is a taboo and the expression of sexuality is put under certain constraints.

For example, only when those constraints are met, only if the boy has “game,” or if he is rich or acts like a good provider, can the girl express our inner desires and needs!

You are hungry, but you should not eat; you are thirsty but you should not drink, “what would other people think?” As a result, loaded terms such as “slut” are used to dominate women and control their sexuality. On the other hand, a male “slut” is unfairly celebrated as a “player” by various mediums.

Capitalist’s Shameless Act of Self Promotion

I must admit. I do come from a well-off background. That is why however that from a point of advantage, it makes me even more enthusiastic to express my findings about how I have freely gained an advantage over so many of my brothers around the world. In my opinion, many people with money, with access to media, religious elite, politicians and other powerful men since the dawn of civilization and the organization of society into a social ladder have shamelessly promoted certain materialistic qualities as worthy. Of course, they would: they are the ones with money and power, so these men promote the exchange of love for money and power!

That is why, rarely is kindness, innocence, true love, and enthusiasm are promoted as commendable descriptions about which mothers would tell their daughters. Instead, generations after generation, mothers would be more likely to utter the words, “you should marry a rich guy!”

Understanding is Empowerment

Perhaps next time you meet a secretary or waiter who is not very nice to you, you should realize that “sexual frustration” is all around us. He or she needs a smile, and yet hides that need under a wall of cultural, religious, and political inhibitions!

The capitalist and dominating mediums such as popular culture re-enforce “tough love.” People have to work hard in order to make the money, and as Al Pacino’s character – Toney Montana - in Scarface so brutally puts it, “in this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.”

I want to say that this way of life does not have to stand! Our bodies and therefore our minds are wonderful worlds full of needs and desires; do not keep yourself thirsty! Love is the easiest thing on Earth: it is about giving. Love gives way to life and if life is being achieved billions of times around you while reading this article, then so can love be easily achieved! Giving should not come at a price.


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Infinite consciousness

Love is the only truth...

by Infinite consciousness on Mon Feb 16, 2009 10:36 AM PST

The western world has dominated over this entire planet and with it, the indoctrinating belief systems - which can easily be traised. The social conditioning that has taken place in our entire life has distorted our vision and understanding of the necessities of human life. Divided and conquered we've been for thousands of years and if we do not look back to understand the hindsight that our history, so richfully provides, then we shall repeat the mistakes that have been made in the past. The new era stems for union and enlightenment - this world is distorted but we need to neglect the bombarding messages and act against this "conspiring body". The events that took place and take place might seem to be irrelevant to each other and non-connected, however, we must understand that not only they're inter-connected, but also orchestrated by the same few people - hence oligarchy.

There's so much I want to write but it will take eternities lol

I really like  your article and bravo - the divulging themes, are the ones individuals in this world need to understand, from this article...

peace and love :)


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lol, I just read this article again

by Soroush "Joon" (not verified) on Thu Dec 11, 2008 12:26 PM PST

It almost brought me to tears of joy...god, it's a good article I wrote I think! lolll, expressing yourself can really bring you happiness!

love babyyyy, loosen up people!


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In reply to ur personal attack against me

by Soroush (not verified) on Sat Sep 27, 2008 07:15 PM PDT

I refer you to another article that I wrote: "Freedom of hate speech"

//lawiscool.com/2008/05/12/freedom-of-hate-sp...

or here:

//iranian.com/main/2008/freedom-hate-spee...

Next time, if u want to take issue with something that someone says, perhaps u can consider writing to the matter rather than personal attacks. Usually people call people names that they are best familiar with. For example, a mean person would definately know what being mean is and so on.

I personally don't say much unless I have something good to say about others.

Nevertheless, agha Davood, I wish u luck.


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Soroush, you're a typical

by Davoud (not verified) on Fri Sep 26, 2008 01:05 PM PDT

Soroush, you're a typical bache nonor raised in a sheltered bubble. Stop confusing your adolescent idiocy for coherent thoughts.


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wealth does equal power, but not necessarily the other way aroun

by Soroush (not verified) on Tue Sep 16, 2008 07:33 PM PDT

d...

IN MY OPINION:

basically, you can ACT like you are rich. This ACT means you can say things and dominate others in the way that rich people do. I am more talking about various forms of domination and over-powering of women and lower men on the social ladder. Perhaps, those beautiful girls that you see with guys that are not rich continue to be a victim of this situation. Except that these males have been socially able to construct an image of themselves and in order to get sex, dominate those girls. It is always a power struggle. I am against this unnecessary struggle and waste of energy.

PEOPLE ARE TURNED INTO SLAVES, moving the wheels of economy in favour of those very handful of MEN - FOR THEIR NEED - OR BETTER YET - WHAT THEY HAVE BEEN TRICKED INTO THINKING IS THEIR NEED - OF PROCREATION!

My message is empowerment of women...allowing them to think and act based on their feelings of attraction without a socialy construction of family bearing and unit basis!

---------
on your second argument. The problem with claiming that "it's in our genes" is that that sort of outlook does not allow for "CHANGE" to occur. Genetic mutation takse millions of years, but social change takes decades maybe centuries! In other words, for us to change ourselves individually, and to become loving...it maybe in our interest to in fact OVER-STATE the social aspect and though the genetics might be there...we can HOPE for some change in ourselves.

The competitive and dominating "NATURE" that you speak of is more or less a thing that has been replaced by social dependency. Since you talk biology, I suggest looking up the phrase: "Hamilton's Rule."

Here's a link:

//brembs.net/hamilton/


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I think you overstated the

by dwsimard (not verified) on Tue Sep 16, 2008 05:58 AM PDT

I think you overstated the socializing aspect of influential mothers and overlooked some of the biological underpinnings with respect to a women's search for a mate who is a good provider.

A discussion of the biological theory of how women seek providers as a result of their idiosyncratic child-bearing capability which requires some level of support during the gestation period, at the very least, is in order.

I also think you overstate the desire of North American women to attract men who are excessively wealthy. There are many beautiful ladies who are choose other characteristics above wealth, and alternatively, there are many women who require a minimum standard of wealth to provide for some of the common necessities of North American life.

Before leaving as a mere critic, I will say that your notions are not baseless and without merit. I'm glad to see you come forth with this proposition in the face of this progressively increasing capitalist society. In Canada it is all work and no play.


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The argument for "easy love"

by Soroush (not verified) on Sat Sep 13, 2008 04:33 PM PDT

I want to make love easy, because if we make it hard, something that needs so much work, then people won't love...because "it is so hard" they would say. Then loneliness and sadness and anger and aggressive behaviour will replace the place of love. People will punch each other and rape each other because love "is so hard."

Love is all around us. It is what will give us life. As I write this, billions of occurrences of life is taking place. New plants, new copulations of animals, new holding of hands.

Let us make love easy! For the sake of peace at least and for the sake of the reality of what is actually happening on this planet.


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Smell u later :P

by soroush (not verified) on Fri Sep 12, 2008 11:41 PM PDT

smelling is smelling! the way u use ur nose ;)
good point though about "loose behaviour." I think any sort of self expression that doesn't interfere with other people's pleasure is positive!
---
house music, I mean it's a sort of everyone for themselves sort of dancing! obviously it's a big generalization I made there and it's more meant as humourous!

000000
north america is great if what u're looking for is money. the point is that u don't need to be struggling for money, if love was easier as it is in countries like Poland...u could have a life of a slower pace and more laid back! I'm against this sort of robotic running around from point A to point B and constant chase of this fallacy called "success." "To be or not to be, that's the question"


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Capitalism and House Music

by soosk (not verified) on Fri Sep 12, 2008 11:59 AM PDT

LOL....wtf....don't be hatin' house music...it has nothing to do with politics...do more research next time...

and by the way...don't be hatin' capitalism...without it you wouldn't be enjoying life in north america (specially north america)...deep down if you really hated capitalism you wouldn't be living in canada...


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TheMrs

Say What?

by TheMrs on Fri Sep 12, 2008 11:44 AM PDT

"We all see, feel pain, love, get heartbroken, smell etc. the same way! "

We all smell? I'm pretty sure I don't.

We all smell the same way? As in our olfactory organs function the same way or we all exude the same scent? Or that we all smell the same road? WHAT???

Something went wrong here, gramatically speaking of course.  I think you are trying to say that we all have the same capacity to see, smell, feel and be heart broken.

Khandeh dar bood. Mersi.

Leonard Cohen once said that no one ever gets the right amount. We either get too little or too much. It's called global frustration. It grows exponentially with religion and guilt and all that good stuff.

Eastern cultures have a particular level of comfort with "heez"ness. It is appreciated, expressed and understood in places like Cuba and Iran. It sometimes creates an environment where men feel more comfortable being loose with their behaviour and as a result become less reserved. The relaxed environment could be the reason for your comfort there. You can't say "joon" in the right context in the streets of Toronto, but in Tehran it could get you a number. An arab friend of mine told me he goes to Lebanon just so he can whisper (in a seductively patheic way) "ghamar" to the hotties passing by!

 


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Sex as a dominating force

by Anonymous eyeranian (not verified) on Thu Sep 11, 2008 08:49 PM PDT

Centuries ago when a king of a powerful country wanted to expand his empire he would ask the king of his neighboring country to let him marry his daughter so he indirectly could dominate his country.If that king would not not accept his offer then the other king would start a war.


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