Sherri's Story

Pedram is angry and hurt, because he feels Sherri is treating him like a teenager who doesn't know what's good for him


Sherri's Story
by Nazy Kaviani

* From the "Kissing All The Frogs" Series.

Sherri's phone rings incessantly. She won't pick it up and she pretends like it isn't ringing. It rings five times and clicks over to her voice mail, and just when it seems like the caller has given up, it starts ringing again. It is driving me crazy. I say: "Maybe it's an emergency." She looks at the Caller ID and says: "No. It's Pedram." Pedram? The young chap Sherry has been seeing privately for the past six months? I thought she had said that little arrangement was going really well. My mind is full of questions. She finally says: "Let me unplug this phone and I will explain."

My friend, Sherri, is beautiful. She is an athlete who has been running marathons since college. She is slim and petite, with beautiful long hair, huge eyes, and pouty lips. Married briefly and divorced, she never had any children and this is one part of her life with which she feels the most at peace. She is a university lecturer and earns enough to live in a posh high-rise, drive a nice European car, vacation far, and dress very well. Going out on dates has never been a problem for her as between her looks, her work and her hobbies, she is exposed to many men who ask her out. She says she just hasn't met the right guy to settle down with yet.

A few months ago she met a young Iranian man through work. The handsome graduate student and Sherri hit it off really well, and Sherri and Pedram started a sexual relationship. They would meet up at either his place or hers a couple of nights a week, have a meal, and sleep together. Sherri did not want any more out of this relationship, as she is 43 and he is 32 years old.

Recently, though, Pedram has started having feelings for Sherri, asking to see her more often during the week, talking to her about his feelings and his thoughts, and a couple of times he has shown signs of jealousy when he suspected Sherri was going out with other men. Sherri decided to end the relationship as she was not interested in having a romantic relationship with Pedram.

She says Pedram is a handsome young man with his whole career and future ahead of him. He should date and marry a woman closer to his own age so that they can have a family together, something Sherry does not want with Pedram. Pedram is angry and hurt, because he feels Sherri is treating him like a teenager who doesn't know what's good for him. He says Sherri doesn't look or act her age and if he doesn't see her as an "older woman," why should she? He further feels it is utterly condescending of Sherri to tell him what is good for him.

Sherri says Pedram is a refined man who has both looks and smarts, and that whatever he may feel for her is just a temporary state of infatuation which will pass, leaving him with a woman 11 years older than him. How would he feel in ten years, in twenty? What would he tell his family? She says she never let herself develop any feelings other than friendship for Pedram. The sex is great, she says, but that's not all that relationships are all about. She says she is looking for a partner with whom she can do things, go out, and hang out, and that man cannot be Pedram, for to be seen with him in public, she would feel forced to explain or to accept the looks and innuendos, something she can't tolerate.

Sherri reaches out to plug in the telephone. As soon as the phone is plugged in, it starts ringing again. There is a hurt man on the other end.

*Names, places, and other identifying attributes of this series' characters are made-up and a work of fiction. The relationship and the dilemma at the heart of each story is true and that's all that is true.



Recently by Nazy KavianiCommentsDate
Nov 22, 2012
Dark & Cold
Sep 14, 2012
Talking Walls
Sep 07, 2012
more from Nazy Kaviani


by did it twice (not verified) on

I had a sexual relationship with a younger man. I started loving him after a while.He didn’t want to be seen with me and didn’t want me to call him between our dates.I was feeling comfortable with expanding the relationship. He didn’t want it. That really hurt me.People think that an older woman is lucky if the younger man wants to have a deeper relationship with her but in a reverse situation the woman should count her blessings to have him just for sex and shouldn’t expect more.

Zan Amrikai


by Zan Amrikai on

I appreciate your comments.  You aren't a big baby, so don't apologize.  Here's the thing...I went into the relationship knowing it was not going to be "serious."  At that time in my life, I was really fine with that (out of a marriage and finding out what it is like to date again--after thirty years!).  This was because I am done having children (age and surgery!) and he wanted to have them one day...and I think that is everyone's right to want a family, certainly, but I knew it could not be me providing that.  So, I willingly entered the relationship for the other things we could bring to each other.  However, at some point, I realized I loved this person--which was sad, but also wonderful. I found that I had not been so injured in my marriage that I could no longer love!  But it was sad because I would have liked to be selfish and keep that man for myself.  For me, it came down to selfishness.  Could I have fought for--pressed myself upon this man--to ask for more?  Yes, but that would have shown me for someone who did not know herself well enough and one thing I am confident of is that I am honest with myself and with my friends. 

 Don't know if that makes a difference, but I wanted to respond--and I am sure I will be back later to read more comments!

This is an interesting, albeit seldom seriously discussed, topic.  Kheili mamnoon, Nazyjoon!


I don't think so:)

by KouroshS (not verified) on

Dear zan amrikai

I really like the way you analyze certain issues and get all the details out, but i must definitely disagree with you and many who agree with you on this point that when you let a younger man go, and set him free, when you go into the relationship KNOWING that it is not going to last forever, It is not because you love him so much, or enough to do so,. NO NO NO. so many million times NO.:)

Number one, It would not have been a selfish thing to do, had you gone into the relationship, willing to love this man. you grieved inside of you because you DID Not love him and that is the key term in here, hence you did not think he will have any future with you. You knew that off the bat, So what happened was that In a way, in a good way:). you used that to justify your decision. I am saying this because as you are aware, it happened to me. I think i have said that a whole lot more than i should have and i appologize, don't mean to be a big baby here.

But the point is that she told me the same exact thing. Because she knew i was impossible to get rid of, because of the strong feelings i had for her, so she came up with the most creative solutions of all..
Of course i don't know you or your partner, But my ex entered into our mini-relationship reluctantly, thinking all the thoughts that crossed your mind. Had she really loved me ENOUGH, Nothing would have stood in her way of making this a reality.
I am sure that the same applies to your case.

Zan Amrikai

Oedipal/Electral Issues

by Zan Amrikai on

Dear NBT, NDT, decided to bypass the firetraps in Chinatown and buy my handbag at TJMaxx instead (LOL--love your user name here so I am going to tease you about it--hope you dont mind!)

I didn't post about what you (I think it was you who had written this) had written about Iranian mothers connecting with their sons in a sexual way because of their own unsatisfying relationship with the father of the child/her husband.  I didn't mean to discount that there ARE indeed reasons why younger men may seek an older woman...just as there must certainly be father issues that generate the older man/much younger woman scenario...and even issues that create homosexual scenarios. I have witnessed that first hand in my family and others--where early sexual experiences coupled with dysfunctional family dynamics end up "creating" homosexual behavior as adults.  But that would be opening up way too many more issues for what Nazy meant here with Sherri and Pedram. 

Still, I wanted to respond to you about this because you did bring up a valid point.  There ARE things that happen that we end up trying to work out--or recreate--in our lives.  I find it horrific that we adults sometimes perpetrate such destructive behavior on our children, even if it is unwittingly--it does not take away the effect!  I used to cringe when my ex-husband would  tell our youngest how she was the only one who made him happy. I would tell him he was setting her up for certain relationship misery because he was teaching her to be responsible for her father's happiness and it would only mess her up for men...he of course thought I was nuts because I analyzed it beyond him "just saying what he felt."  I think it was warped and very selfish of him to do. 

While I think seven nights a week for sex may be a bit much (don't we all sometimes just want to lie around in flannel nightgowns and eat more than we should and just read or surf the internet or watch TV?) I do think more than once a day/night is GREAT!  ;^)

ZA the Wicked Woman of the West


Good story, beautiful writing...

by Monda on

Not uncommon scenario, in any culture, especially Iranian.

I did not read much about Sherri's feelings for Pedram. She may want to check into herself for her true feelings for this man and their relationship. Often age, money, looks and credentials feel like valid excuses for not wanting to commit.

I would also advise her to talk to a professional therapist as her defenses against a committed relationship may cause her grief later on.


Young or old, men don't have

by teapot (not verified) on

Young or old, men don't have much to offer to women except sex; Smart women already know that and will move on with their lives in a serial monogamous fashion. No need for Agha bala sar...


About 3 men it doesn't mean

by Ajab Rajab (not verified) on

About 3 men it doesn't mean she is such a cougar, it means that she doesn't know what to do and ends up with 3 guys none of whom she likes. The 3 men know she goes out with other men too since neither one is committing themselves to her. That's what I meant about these men being Divas!

About 32 year olds being so full of sexual energy, where did that come from?! They may do it few times on the first occasion but they go back to the usual once a week at most once they settle down!

By the way in addition to Ahmadinejade noee as an option, younger Ahmadinejads are another option! LOL! Seriously! If you want to go for an Ahmadinejad, which I would recommend, why not go for a younger version?!

You can also go for a younger guy (Iranian, American, Guetemalan or other nationalities) and just have some fun if you're financially stable with some skills and a career. This financial situation is a problem which is starting to become epidemic for many middle aged Iranian women which can be another story all by itself. It is sad but I see it more and more.

Anyway, I think many middle aged Iranian women are already doing this, they are just doing it in hiding and not telling us! God only knows how many times they have been serenated with a "folksy" Guetemalon folk song!


Some readers

by Not been there, Not Done that, Don't have the handbag (not verified) on

Zan Amrikaie,
Just saw your post and had to respond before my work day begins.

I am not making fun of oedipal issues. I am dead serious and while I 'borrow' the word from Freud, I have witnessed it first hand with many mothers and sons , young and old.

We are all defined by our past experiences whether we like to admit it or not. All opinions are valid.

You have certainly opened up new avenues of thinking for me.

Non-breeding women think differently for sure and operate differently as well. Once the child bearing years are over and we 'allow' an open mind to explore - anything is game and everything is welcome.


Zan Amrikaie

by not been there, not done that, don't have the handbag (not verified) on

My 'knockoff' days are over - men or handbags. :)

Agree on the increase in desire in latter years. Definitely can relate. I am talking frequency and longevity though darling.

Also, they say you can make love to a different man every night of the week but the same man 7 nights in a row - not bloody likely! Not in your 40's.

Not that I have tested this concept out except while on my LONG honeymoon - 5 months straight - every night. Now, that was love, lust and everything in between, and I was not 40 something and neither was he. ;)

Zan Amrikai

Laughing at Myself!

by Zan Amrikai on

OH my GOSH--I am laughing at myself! I just posted like eighty-five comments to different comments--and I haven't even had coffee yet!  LOL!  Nazyjoon, you have opened up a can of worms, or a Pandora's box.  And, lest any of you think, because of my posts, that I am somehow psychologically messed up because of my comments about frequency/desire, I would have to disagree.  I think it has a lot to do with where people are in their heads, what is going on in their lives, how happy they are, how much permission they give themselves to be themselves, to be sexual creatures, to experience desire, and so on.  I spent most of my adult life in a dry marriage; no, I am not "making up for lost time."  I am just finding out I wasn't as remotely as frigid as I feared--relationship dynamics play a HUGE part in sexuality!

Nazy, I think some of the readers miss that this is a real story with identifying details changed to protect the actual people.  And you know, having said that, I think it's too bad that some readers think this has to come down to an Oedipal issue, whether for fun or seriousness.  Freud may have had SOME things right, but geez, human sexuality and relationships are far more complicated than that man's interpretations! 

Zan Amrikai

Anonymous Mmonymous

by Zan Amrikai on

I have been with someone much more than eight years younger and I LOVED letting him have the reigns! Yes, I have more experience, and that means I could give him the benefit of my insight, but it sounds to me like your girlfriend/wife-to-be/ex-wife-to-be was just a jerk who couldn't love you unconditionally!  When women play the dominant role in the polarity, they need a man who plays the submissive role.  (Personally speaking: EW!)  I will take a younger, nicely dominant man any day!   LOL!

Zan Amrikai

Ajab Rajab, on age fabrications and three at once

by Zan Amrikai on

Just wanted to say that I do not lie about my age to men, and when men have lied to ME--and they have--about their age, I find it a huge turn off. 

You said something about three partners and how to manage the schedule? Hey, if there were not social/cultural/religious taboos and there were no STDs...LOL! 

I know you were talking about juggling three different men on different days, but wouldn't it make it easier to just have all three over at once?

LOL again!  My, my, we older women can be so evil and wickedly fun!

Zan Amrikai

NBT, NDT, didn't go to Chinatown to buy the knock-off bag :^)

by Zan Amrikai on

You said, "A 32 year old man's physical needs outweigh a typical 43 year old woman's abilities. Sherri being athletic and all may be too pooped for anything more than a couple of rolls in the hay per week. He on the other hand wants more of that, hence the booty calls which Sherri may be misreading as 'lurrrrrrrve'. "  Um, I don't know which older woman--and I am older than Sherri--you've known/been with but a "couple of rolls in the hay per week?"  Are you KIDDING?  How about per night?!  My sexual desire is much stronger at this age than when I was younger; I think most women agree, especially if they are in a happy place in their lives or with partner(s) who bring out the woman in them.


Zan Amrikai

Did It Twice, I was unclear, I see...

by Zan Amrikai on

Did it twice, I just read your post to me and I realized that my post could have been easily read different ways.  I see that it could be interpreted that when I said "I was the Sherri" that I meant I was the woman with a younger guy in love with me and all I wanted was sex. NO, NO, NO a thousand times NO, that is my mistake to have been unclear. 

I meant that I have been in a relationship with someone younger and realized it would become a problem as the years went by...(doesn't that just stink?!) so I never allowed myself to want more; I went into it knowing it was not going to be forever. I grieved inside of myself the "it never can be" of the relationship because I loved him enough to want him to have all I had had (children, etc) and that wasn't going to happen with me.  That is what I meant about loving a person enough to let them have their life instead of wanting to keep them selfishly for your own wishes for what could be.  That is what I meant about being the Sherri--I was an older woman with a younger man, that's all.

If he had been much, much younger, I would agree that the reason he was in it with me was to check off, "did it with an older woman!"   It's true, as Kourosh and others have said, that age is sometimes immaterial in love.  Women know, however, how unkindly society looks upon the older woman/younger man combination.  Can you even imagine what people would say of three young men living with an 80 year old sex icon? (LIke Hefner and his young "girlfriends!") 

I admit that looks play a very strong part in my initial attraction to a man, but they are never enough on their own.  NEVER. And of course they play a part in a man's attraction for me--probably the biggest part at the beginning--but, we would not have ended up having a multi-facted relationship if it was only about sex.

And I see again how my post could have been misinterpreted when I mentioned being with a younger man and then not wanting to be with an older guy. What I was talking about was the energy, the vitality, the openness to different experiences  that is absent in many older people (or many people my own age) it seems!

And now, back to reading other posts on Nazy's naz story!

p.s. all you guys who ask for the sex details are hilarious--i get a good laugh out of your comments!  ;^)


Sex stories

by Not been there, Not done that, Don't have the handbag (not verified) on


There were a couple of female writers on a few years ago - Nooneh? Sarvenaz? They had the erotic stories. If I recall they were more to do with the sex scenes and variations thereof rather than 'relationships' or anything beyond flesh. Check them out - you might enjoy them.

I always fancied those stories were written by very bored housewives filling pages and pages of soft porn in between laundry loads.


Sweet sex

by Not been there, Not done that, Don't have the handbag (not verified) on

Nazy Jan, In repsonse to your email from a man who is having 'sweet sex' with his 47 year old wife. I am in total agreement.

There is definitely a heightened intensity and 'sweetness' to sex in a woman's 40's. Frequency is another thing though. Clearly the quality of sex far outweighs the quantity certainly in that age bracket. No more are the parnters merely hormones on legs, but the giving and receiving is that much more whole, and thus fulfilling.

It has been my experience that sex is great at any age. Differnt though. As our taste buds evolve and change, so does the bedroom beast.


Father killer?

by Not been there, Not done that, Don't have the handbag (not verified) on

Many Iranian mothers have erotic relationshiops with their sons. Having been deprived of sexual expression from their husbands they turn to the son. Some of us have witnessed the 'desire' in our mother-in-law's gestures towards our husbands. Many mothers do take liberties with their sons and vice versa well before the son has any conscious memory.

Not all men in this category wish to kill their fathers but they are jealous of them simply because of the bond that develops between him and the mother.

There are also men whose mothers did not attend to them and give them the love and attention that a child needs. They were emotionally abandoned. So, perhaps they go looking for that love in their adult years.

I have only had one experience with a man of this sort - my friend and yes he always went for the older woman - he was looking for the mother he never had or had too much of. Over and over again, he would find her, love her and then reject her; presumably reliving a childhood scenario.


Bla bla

by Toofantheoncesogreat (not verified) on

Why dont people actually describe their sex life in more detail when writing these stories?..

It would like.. explain.. wether its.. love or.. you know.. just sex.. details! details! details!

Nazy Kaviani

Such great stories!

by Nazy Kaviani on

And the plot thickens! I would have never guessed there would be people in the house who would have first-hand accounts of the younger man/older woman relationship, and who would actually come forward and talk about it! Thank you so much for the lessons I'm learning as we go along. All the people beating each other up on the political posts should pay a visit here to see where the original thinkers of are hanging out these days!

The collective material gets more and more interesting and colorful! With his permission and some edition, I paste below excerpts of an email a kind user has sent me regarding this story. It has to do with No Handbag Jan's assertion about the sexual stamina of the 43-year old woman. Now, don't kill me, I'm just pasting what he said, O.K.?

"Women in their forties are in their sexual prime for they have learned all the moves and have also developed mentally and emotionally. Sweet sex has more to it than physical power. It has kindness and giving and taking. I love my 47 year old wife who is the best lover in bed."

A few of you mentioned children from previous marriages in the middle of younger men/older women relationships. From very personal experience, children from another marriage are usually a major source of conflict in Iranian relationships, even when the couple fit within the more accepted social frameworks. If you like, we can talk about that thorny issue, too. I have seldom seen complete acceptance of these children in a new relationship, unless the kids were very young when the couple met. Adding this factor to an already conflicted partnership just makes things even more difficult.

You guys are really fabulous!



by Anonymous Mnonymous (not verified) on

No I didn’t try to kill my father and marry my mother. I don’t know if you mean this as a joke or not, you probably don’t, but for some reason I can’t stop laughing. I admit I am not a confident person in many ways but I assure you I am not a father killer, either literarily, figuratively, or otherwise in a Freudian way.

By the way I strongly recommend to anyone in this thread to watch this movie, "Prime", with Uma Thurman, Maryl Streep, and Bryan Greenberg. It’s basically the story of my life except the ending, I won’t give it away.

I am still laughing :O)


Ok, got it now...

by Souri on

thanks for taking time to explain it all ! You know, this is me, dear. When I am not SURE, I always ask even twice so to not ASSUME anything wrongly !

You are great.


To Mr. Anonymous Mnonymous

by Not been there, Not done that, Don't have the handbag (not verified) on

Amazing story. I have had the opportunity of having befriended a man who married a woman 15 years his senior, with whom he had children. He said he divorced her - against her objection. She fought him in court and through many years afterwards. 20 years post divorce he still could not stop talking about her. He had Oedipal issues. Did you?

Your story touched me because it reminded me of my friend. He cried talking about that relationship. He hated what happened but at the same time it was as if he could not help having fallen for it. He wanted a mother. He has not so far been able to forge a relationship which is not akin to a mother/son arrangement.

Back in my days they called those women cradle-robbers. I wonder if they call them that nowadays. I am getting verrrrrrrry olllllllld.



by Anonymous Friend (not verified) on

Here are the numbers:

He is now 46. She is 11 years older. They got married 16 years ago:

46-16=30 he was thirty years old when they got married

30+11=41 she was forty-one years old when she got pregnant and got married


LOL Nazy on the stamina of

by Not been there, Not done that, Don't have the handbag (not verified) on

LOL Nazy on the stamina of the 43 year old. Surely you jest. I have been known to jog 30 miles a week. I consider myself a very healthy 40 some year old (no lying about my age). I have so much energy at times I could light up a microwave. Honey, there is no way I could keep up with a healthy 32 year old. I'd like to think I can. I have never had the chance. Once past , ahem, a certain age, men and women both slow down in the libido department. We can imagine it - but doing it 7 days a week? Most of us would end up in the hospital or the morgue!! Gone are the days of roghan kermanshahi!!

Nevertheless, it is possible if Sherri were to be a nympho - which apparently she is not because she is not taking the guy's booty calls.

Good story though.

It is news to me that older women marry younger men in Iran. I guess they call them 'kept men'. Why marry though? Why not graze? Cultural hangups I suppose.

I have personally never dated anyone much older than me. Can't imagine old flesh against mine, let alone an older mind against mine. Heck if they can't relate to the same music from my generation, I'd freak out. Quite frankly I would not know what to do with a 32 year old short of changing his diapers. The pocket rocket looks more alluring.



Anonymous Friend

by Souri on

Sorry, am I mistaken or did you say that she was 11 years older (almost 57) and she made  a baby boy with your friend ?

Is that possible ? I believe I didn't get it well. 


Learn from my friend

by Anonymous Friend (not verified) on

One of my friends, 46 years old, married a woman eleven years older than him. At the time she had three daughters from a previous marriage, and they ended up having a boy together. Their marriage lasted fourteen and half years but he finally burned out on raising the children and putting up with her ever-increasing demands. Happy to say that the two older girls finished college and the older one in married now, the younger girl is in college now, and the boy is in high school.

They have been separated for a year and half now, and while he was separated, and not before, he found a girlfriend thirteen years younger than him. So now his stepdaughters are all pissed off at him because the girlfriend is close to their ages. He wants to introduce his girlfriend’s mother to me since she is about my age. I told him that would be great because one day you might become my son-in-law.


Learn from a man who’s been there

by Anonymous Mnonymous (not verified) on

O.K., this a different story, so I’ll contribute my experience anonymously.

Pedram you are a stupid man (it’s O.K. to call him stupid because he is a fictitious character) if you get yourself involve with this woman anymore than what you already have. How do I know? Because I was stupid (it’s O.K. to call myself stupid because I am, was, stupid) like Pedram over thirty years ago, and my girlfriend, wife-to-be, ex-wife-to-be, was merely eight years older than me. The relationship NEVER worked because the woman always had the upper hand, always had more experience, always knew what was best, etc, etc., and always did the wrong thing at the end and justified it eloquently.

On the other hand the relationship lasted over thirty years, which is a lot, much much longer than any relationship I know of among my friends. Go figure.


Physiological explanation

by Anonymous Imposter (not verified) on

An older male deposits his sperms (sounds gross doesn’t it?) into a young female’s womb and he is content that he has fulfilled his physiological task of trying to produce an offspring. He is happy. His clan is happy knowing a young female can produce a healthy offspring.

The young female receives the sperms from the older male and her physiological task of producing an offspring begins. She and her clan are content that any offspring produced from this union will have a good chance of survival because of her youth and his elderly status in the group.

But consider this: a younger male deposits his sperms into an older female’s womb and he is saying to himself “What the f*** am I doing?”, “The female is old, the chances of survival of my offspring is minimal, she might die during delivery”, …and on and on. His clan are all pissed off saying, “What the f*** are you thinking?”, “Don’t you know your offspring has a lesser chance of survival in an older womb?”,…and on and on. As the older female approaches the age of not being able to carry an offspring the clan’s condemnations of their union increases exponentially.

This is a purely one-dimensional physiological explanation. Add to that several layers of cultural, historical, psychological, religion, environmental, etc., and the relationship between opposite sexes becomes what it is in this fictitious (yeah!) story, a young handsome graduate student chasing after an older female Marathon runner.


Nazy jan

by Souri on

I was about to write a long comment, half of which was exactly what you just said in #2 :D) . After correcting and check spelling and all, I just read your strong and complete comment here, so now I had to change it all.

I have a similar real story to tell here :

I have a very good male friend. He can never be in love with a girl younger than himself. He is very handsome (really),  very smart, engineer.....but he is always too sentimental (for my taste) and very vulnerable. His frist crush was me, myself. When he was only 17 and I was 23. I never accepted that love. Then he got married with a girl who was 4 years older than him. They moved to Europe. Some while later, his wife left him to move on with his best friend!! Then she came back. Then she left again for the same guy !

My friend got depressed, very badly. Then suddenly, one day, an older lady (15 years older than him) appeared in his life. She was the one who declared him first. They got together. They were so much in love.....The lady had 3 big boys, 2 of them were living with her and my friend in a beautiful house my friend had just bought for her!!

The only thing which was going wrong, according to my friend, was the social pressure on this couple. He told me, when we are in a gathering, in a party , in a restaurant...especially in the Iranian community, every body look at us " left left" and we feel like everybody is talking about us and making fun of us.

Anyway, it was going well for 5/6 years...then happened difficulties. My friend lost his job and his income crushed badly. The woman being in her 50's had some Meno syndrome!! too. ...I don't know why and how this happened that finally they got separate.

Now, it's a few years they are separated but they still see each other and travel together sometimes ...etc etc.

The moral of the story: you are right about the financial factor. I believe all that pressure would be still easy to handle, if my friend could afford the financial security that the woman was looking for.

Many relationship get stronger with the financial security, many others get apart without it !! This is also a new syndrome of the 21 century. 

We all need love, but some need security the most.



Nazy actually now that you

by Ajab Rajab (not verified) on

Nazy actually now that you mention it I was going to add "Univeristy Lecturers" don't live in posh hi-rises UNLESS they are Rafsanjani's divorced daughter-in-laws! But discussions got so stereotypical that I forgot to mention it :-)

I do understand that many younger Iranian men inside and outside Iran are in fact marrying older Iranian women. I've seen many such instances on my own. Those are the good examples. The sad examples can be explored in future comments. Like the kind of men Sarah Palin would attract if Todd leaves her with 5 kids. I know I shouldn't pile on her, but last week it was Ahmadinejad el presidente, this week is Sarah Palin el VICE presidente!

Permanent residency is in fact one of the reasons and some work while others don't. But you can't say all of these nuances from the beginning. You have to work you way up. You have to hear the generic responses and build upon it.

About having 3 guys, actually NONE are anything you can "hang" your hat on ;-) LOL. First guy is the one who has told her no commitment just screwing around and from previous story she forgives him and hangs around. 2nd guy doesn't want to go to third base because of nightmares that he is afraid that can follow! and the 3rd guy is just Ahmadinejad el presidente, but he has the almighty dollar that in pre-golden years is too aluring to ignore. Of course the 3rd guy can be just a hoax riding in Jaguars with chador namaz pijamehs, but who could tell?!

Believe you me, our middleaged Iranian men with graded English literacy are much more Divas than our Iranian women. Imagine that! No really!