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Just take a wild guess
10-Apr-2009
Bita:
"I thought I would never be able to take a sauna again after what happened. On our way up here, I thought I would burst into tears, but I’m only feeling numb."
Ebi:
"Well, you know, it's been more than a year now. You can’t just go on being depressed and miserable for the rest of your life. What happened, happened. We should start a new life all over again. I like to see us as happy as before."
Bita:
"Yeah, before Shirin's death."
Ebi:
"No! I mean like when we got married, long before she was born."
Bita:
"But, I was happier after I had her."
Ebi:
"Not me, though."
Bita:
"What do you mean?"
Ebi:
"I mean, well, I was happier before you got pregnant with Shirin. You were paying attention to me then. But, with her birth everything changed. You could only see her. You became cold and indifferent towards me."
Bita:
"You never told me that. I never knew you were feeling that way, Ebi! Were you jealous of Shirin? Hum? Were you? Tell me."
Ebi:
"I don’t know, Bita. All I know is that when she was around, I didn’t exist for you."
Bita:
"So, you must have felt quite relieved by her death, no? Were you happy by her death?"
Ebi:
(Silent)
Bita:
"Answer me, Ebi. Talk to me. Were you glad Shirin died in this sauna, trapped in hell? Were you?"
Ebi:
"No, Bita. Of course not! All I want for us now, is to be happy again, together again. I need your undivided attention. I want you to love me the way you did..."
Bita:
"...Before Shirin!"
Ebi:
"I didn’t say that."
Bita:
"But you meant that. How could you be like that. So insensitive, so selfish."
Ebi:
"Stop overreacting, Bita. I only meant that we..."
Bita:
"Ok, Ebi. I’m saying no more."
Ebi:
"Could you pour some water on the stones? It’s getting too dry in here."
Bita:
"Ok. But it also feels cooler than usual."
Ebi:
"What the hell are you doing, Bita. No! Don’t put the temperature on maximum. That’s how Shirin was suffocated. Do you want to kill us both?"
Bita:
"What’s going on with you, Ebi?"
Ebi:
"I ask you to pour water on the stone, you raise the temperature. That’s what’s going on."
Bita:
"Uh, no, no! That’s not what I meant. How do you know that Shirin died because the temperature was on maximum? When we both discovered her body here on the floor, the temperature was on normal."
Ebi:
"Oh, well, I don’t know! It was just a wild guess."
Bita:
"Or, maybe a slip of the tongue? Answer me, Ebi! I want an explanation. A good one, as a matter of fact."
Ebi:
"Uh, for God’s sakes, stop harassing me. I haven’t done anything wrong."
Bita:
"Not to me, Ebi; but to my baby. You heartless jealous prick!"
Ebi:
"Where are you going, Bita. Wait! What I said was of no importance. Don’t close the door on me; I want to talk to you. Wait a minute. What are you doing, Bita. Don’t lock the door! Let me out! Let me out, Bita! You want me dead, woman?"
Bita:
"Oh, just take a wild guess, Ebi! Just take a wild Guess!"
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Good experiment in Dialogue form
by Anahid Hojjati on Sat Apr 11, 2009 10:55 PM PDTMPD, your story was a good experiment in dialogue form.
An interesting story
by Multiple Personality Disorder on Sat Apr 11, 2009 09:18 PM PDTSpeaking of "...an experiment in story telling exclusively in dialogue form, without a narrator.", please read my "Boys on the Prowl" and don't be shy to post a comment. It's just an experiment.
Azarin jan, thanks for your comment
by Anahid Hojjati on Sat Apr 11, 2009 06:57 PM PDTDear Azarin, I think we both agree that Azadeh's piece was a nice story which is hard to do using only dialogues. Azadeh and then I made comments about story being witty rather than funny. What is important is that the writer; Azadeh, in this case has managed to move the readers. The fact that you and I discuss if it is funny or not, just adds to value of the story since it shows her piece has stirred our feelings and that is what good art should do.
Witty, that is what it is, thanks Dear Azadeh
by Anahid Hojjati on Sat Apr 11, 2009 06:47 PM PDTAzadeh jan, you are absolutely correct or at least I agree with you 100%. What you added at the end of story was witty rather than funny. I could not think of it when I wrote my comment. All I knew was that what you added at the end of story was clever; right for the story; unexpected but it was not funny. You verbalize it perfectly by calling it witty. Again thanks for the story and for your comment titled Witty vs. Funny .
Witty vs Funny
by Azadeh Azad on Sat Apr 11, 2009 01:46 PM PDTThank you all for your kind comments.
Anahid jan, thank you for the question and sorry for my coming late on the site to respond.
I think while it is clear that sense of humour varies widely among individuals, there are universal categories of *stimuli* that trigger humorous reactions in people. One stimulus that may make a story humorous is the presentation of a surprise or an unexpected future. When we are mildly surprised, the experience may result in our feeling delighted. Dear Monda expresses this very well when she says, "As heartbreaking the story truly is, your humor gave the sadist in me a good tickle."
However, I would call this subtle humour *witty* and not funny, as funny would suggest comic, while witty suggests cleverness and quickness of mind.
Overall, I think the confusion comes from the fact that English is our second, third or fourth language.
Happy Easter,
Azadeh
to Anahid Hojjati
by Azarin Sadegh on Sat Apr 11, 2009 12:07 PM PDTHi,
I think the hardest thing to do in writing is to write pieces that make the reader laugh, even if the situation is extremely tragic...like this one! It is a real art to succeed!...so by the use of the word "funny" I was trying to praise Azadeh's excellent work in writing dark humor, especially using only dialogues.
I think the same way that people are different from each other, so is their reaction to the same piece of art. There is no right or wrong assessment in these cases...but it's just my opinion.
Thanks, Azarin
I see some readers call the story funny
by Anahid Hojjati on Sat Apr 11, 2009 10:31 AM PDTI see some readers call the story funny. To me the element of horror is much more prominent. Do readers call it funny because at the end, the mother says: "take a wild guess"?
Azadeh jan, in your comment addressed to me, I see that you emphasize theme of mother and child and the dialogue form. And I agree. Your story is strong on mother and child theme and is obviously in dialogue form but what is your take in calling the story funny?
This reminds of Hitchcock's
by Monda on Fri Apr 10, 2009 09:43 PM PDTmovie way back when (AKA I can't remember when or which)! I like how you experiment with your storytelling form. As heartbreaking the story truly is, your humor gave the sadist in me a good tickle.
Ebi...
by ebi amirhosseini on Fri Apr 10, 2009 06:57 PM PDTZabaane Sorkh,Sare Sabz Bar Baad Dahad!!.
I shouldn't have opened my mouth!.
Lovely piece,well written.
sepaas
Ebi aka Haaji
Funny with a punchline!
by Azarin Sadegh on Fri Apr 10, 2009 03:51 PM PDTBrava Azadeh jan! Very funny, and very visual!
You're absolutely right! It's not easy to write a dialogue-only story...but you've done an excellent job with this story!
Thanks for sharing, Azarin
Story in dialogue form
by Azadeh Azad on Fri Apr 10, 2009 01:10 PM PDTDear Anahid,
Thank you for your comment. I pulled this story out of my files after reading Flying Solo's. Hence their common theme of mother and child. More importantly, this is an experiment in story telling exclusively in dialogue form - without a narrator. It is not that easy!
Cheers,
Azadeh
Is this fiction?
by Parsai on Fri Apr 10, 2009 08:21 AM PDT"I thought I would never be able to take a sauna again after what happened." sounds like a line from a Naked Gun movie.
Interesting story but very horrific
by Anahid Hojjati on Fri Apr 10, 2009 08:30 AM PDTAzadeh jan, This is nice story but a person like Ebi would have to be a monster to do something like that. In most cases, if a mother was focused solely on child, the marriage would falter and it would end in divorce. Also, it seems that in IranianDotCom, I just see articles about mothers being focused on their children and not paying enough attention to the husband. I have to say that there are many marriages that the father is focused on kids and not enough on the wife.