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Not Without My Camel
11-Nov-2009
It all started when Gretchen sued Ed for sexual harassment.
"Your honor,” she told the court, “this man touches me inappropriately, constantly flirts with me, and always suggests some sort of intimate relation."
"How long has this been going on?" The presiding judge asked.
"Ever since we got married."
Things only got worse. As the result of the suit, Ed lost his job at Frontières Sans Médecins, Borders Without Doctors, because they lost patients with him. He was able to land a job as a proof reader. He painstakingly corrected pages that had been intentionally left blank. It is well known most authors draw blanks very well. And sometimes they draw a blank with a blanket and call it a blankety blank. Ed also corrected those pages unintentionally left written, like all the pages in the books of Stephen King, Danielle Steel and Doctor Sanjay Gupta. When the economy soured Ed was given the axe. Since he did not know how to grind it he was let go. Then he was laid off. As part of his severance package the company amputated his pension plan.
Up to that point, Ed and his stay-at-home wife, Gretchen, had an uneventful, quiet life next to a noisemaker factory. Ed smoked chains because he was a chain smoker while Gretchen preferred Camel because she enjoyed smoking humps. After the layoff Ed and Gretchen had to do a complete role reversal to keep the roof over their heads and the yard in the back. Gretchen had to return to work so the family could put food on the table since they could no longer afford plates.
Soon, the pressures of the professional life took a toll on Gretchen. She began frequenting bars every day, because she worked in a bar. Along with other female buddies she would drink heavily, because some of them were overweight, after which she would stagger home late at night and stone-drunk, singing violent rap songs that demeaned men by calling them pimps, hoes, and worse yet, two-bit neo-cons.
On Friday nights, to have a good time she would go to a gentlemen's club, where distinguished gentlemen drank martinis and discussed foreign policy matters such as whether to invade first and ask questions later or whether to just invade, no questions asked. From the gentlemen’s club she would go next door to a strip joint. Most of the strippers had run away from home as young boys and some as old men. Some of them had been sexually molested by women drivers while hitchhiking, and the rest of them were waiting their turn impatiently.
Gretchen was quite taken by a particular stripper, a boy by the stage name of Electro. Gretchen was attracted to Electro’s magnetism. He was a physics major who had dropped out of college unexpectedly when he had fallen off the dorm balcony and out of the campus. Now he was only strip dancing to save enough money to go back to college to get his security deposit back, and to finish his degree in order to be successfully unemployed like other college graduates. A few times Gretchen followed Electro out of the joint, cornered him in a dark corner and tried to do things to him. Lucky for Electro, the bouncer happened to be bouncing nearby and she protected Electro from being charged by Gretchen, just so that she could do those same things to Electro herself.
Sometimes Gretchen would come home disheveled, with her clothes torn, her stilettos broken and her face bruised in a bar brawl. It was obvious she was going down a slippery slope fast. Nobody objected though, since she was skiing at the time.
Every day except Thanksgiving the slightest incident would provoke Gretchen to beat Ed into a pulp. On Thanksgiving she would beat the stuffing out of him. Ed often tried to hide the bruises with Gretchen's cosmetics. But he was no good at applying makeup and always drew lipstick arrows pointing to the bruises. Every time someone noticed his bruises with their arrows Ed would make up some story about how while watching his soap he had slipped out of the shower, rolled out of the bathroom into the hallway and down the stairs, hitting the railing and bouncing off the opposite wall before tripping over the skateboard and falling face first on the anvil that just happened to be at the bottom of the stairs. He blamed the anvil on Gretchen, who had not paid attention, like most wives, to the shopping list Ed had written for her, buying an anvil instead of Advil. But nobody believed him, not because of the impossibly elaborate plot but because Ed lived in a single story house.
Friends suspected something was going on. One suggested Ed should stay with his mother for a while but Ed refused to take the advice because his mother was dead. She had been poisoned by the gas released from the sewer next to where she lived. Ironically she had always said "live by the sewer, die by the sewer." Besides, Ed did not want his family to know there was something sinister happening behind the happy facade of Gretchen beating him up in public. Nor would he want to go to the locally abused husbands' shelter because like most men who had been dipped in egg and covered with flour he was suffering from battered man syndrome. He believed the daily beatings were only a phase that would soon pass in a few decades if he just kept cooking and cleaning and repainting and reroofing and rebuilding the engine and ignoring her porno magazines which she kept in the closet behind her gun, hand grenades, ballistic missiles, and skeletons.
Ed longed for the day he could have her shoulder to cry on again during those times of the month that he was feeling weird in a way that women just did not understand, such as whenever his favorite teams lost.
"Let's go to counseling." Ed would say when Gretchen was in a rare good mood.
"I have a different angle for you,” she would bark back, lighting a cigarette. “Why don't you and your counselor eat my circumference.”
"Please don’t make such violently geometric remarks in front of the kids," Ed would object.
"Toots, you don't need to worry your pretty little head over such matters. Just go to the kitchen and make me a greasy burger with all the fixin’s. Better yet, stay in there because that's how I like you: barefoot, ready to impregnate and in the kitchen. Other than that, I have no use for you."
Ed would run crying to the bedroom.
Gretchen had stopped becoming intimate with Ed, unlike during their engagement when she just could not keep her damn dirty paws off him despite the objections of Charlton Heston. But now they would just lay in bed and exchange very few words. Ed would check his TV Guide for the upcoming episode of the “Desperate House Husbands” while Gretchen flipped through news networks, like Comedy Central, and other networks that only had pretend news, like Fox News and CNBC, making comments about topics that Ed had no interest in, such as "how about that Tiger Woods" or "how about that Serena Williams" or "how about that Doctor Sanjay Gupta?" The only thing she ever said to him that did not start with "how about that..." was "how about more beer?"
"Don't you find me attractive anymore?" Ed would ask sobbing.
"Ed, I swear... Don't start with me again or so help me God..." For her lack of interest she would come up with convincing excuses such as "your forearms are too muscular" or "your six pack is too chiseled" or "your foreplay takes too long" or “you talk to me after we are done.” If no other excuse worked she would say: “Not tonight… You have a headache,” before punching his head.
Luckily, Ed's persistence finally paid off and Gretchen agreed to go to a center for abusive wives. Unluckily, there she learned new ways of abusing Ed.
One day Ed came home from shopping for a garage at a garage sale and found Gretchen in bed with Howard, his best man, closest friend, and his golf buddy. Ed was shocked to see her with four men like that. First Gretchen tried to explain that it wasn't what it appeared to be, that they were not really sleeping together but merely having sex, but Ed found that hard to believe. Gretchen then said she had looked it up in the dictionary and it didn’t mean anything. Ed still didn’t buy it. Then Gretchen denied everything. She denied the Big Bang, the dinosaurs, Donald Trump's hair, the thing about Richard Gere and gerbils, everything. Ed was inconsolable. He grabbed Gretchen's gun, pointed it at Gretchen and her lovers, and threatened to shoot them all before turning the gun on himself. Gretchen agreed with Ed's general approach but not necessarily in that order. "Why don’t you shoot yourself first since the gun barrel is closer to you," she casually suggested.
Ed had to compromise because Gretchen was in a compromising position. So he shot himself first. Lucky for him, the bullet bounced off his tooth and hit the wall. Unlucky for him, the wall was made of concrete and the bullet ricocheted, entering his brain through the back of his head and stirring up memories of the worst movies of all time such as "Not Without My Daughter" and its sequels "Not Without My Dowry", "Not Without My Ticket Stub", "Not Without My China”, “Are You Going to Eat That?”, "Who Am I Kidding I’m Not Leaving", and the conclusion, “I Can’t Believe They Paid Me To Write Xenophobic Rubbish And Call It A Memoire”.
Gretchen rushed him to the emergency room, but only after she and her lovers had tried to finish their business but failed miserably, because right away Howard, the best man and the best friend had to rush off to a symposium on fidelity, leaving only the golfer, and what can one expect from a golfer without a caddy.
By the time they got Ed to the hospital it was two days later and Ed had slipped into something more uncomfortable, a coma. The coma was so deep that the operating doctor also had to go into a coma in order to operate and take the bullet out. Unfortunately, the doctor only sported the title "doctor" without having a real medical degree, just like Doctor Condoleezza Rice, Doctor Henry Kissinger and Doctor Sanjay Gupta. He took out half of Ed's brain instead but not the bullet. Ed came out of his coma but sadly the doctor did not make it. Ed was mentally empty and dentally shattered by the amalgamation of the events. From then on every time he sneezed the bullet blew his mind.
As he was leaving the hospital a man who was lost stopped and asked him for directions to an easy address, which Ed kindly provided. The man happened to be none other than Glenn Beck who while searching for eternal damnation had found it in the hot air and windbag industries.
Ed arrived home with no hope for the future but much hope for the past, because deep down he was hoping that one day George Bush would come back to power to butcher the English language all oval again. A high-flying elderly couple next door who ran a delivery business took Ed under their wings because they were storks. The husband was legally blind and his wife illegally deaf. They had to communicate in sign language, pluses and minuses, which cancelled each other out. So there was never any verifiable communication between them, just like between Fox News and viewers capable of original thought. Sadly, a few days later, while watching “The O’Reilly Factor” Ed fell back into a permanent vegetative state and stopped eating meat, cold turkey.
After crashing several cars and losing the wrecks, Gretchen's wrecklessness finally caught up with her. One day, while at the gentlemen’s club and shooting a heated pool Gretchen got into a heated argument with a much smaller foreign woman, Luna, over how to politically deal with belligerent third world countries. Unlike Luna, Gretchen wanted preemptive strikes and bombings. After Luna made a sexist remark at the boy honey Gretchen was with, Gretchen decided she wasn’t going to be pushed around by a weaker foreign opponent and she had to do something before it was too late. So she preemptively struck Luna. But Gretchen had picked on the wrong woman. She had struck the much bigger and more vicious woman behind Luna, Gracie, who had broken a few engagements in her day by killing the fiancés. Gracie pummeled Gretchen, took her wallet and fled on foot to her car. There laid Gretchen, defeated, broke, profusely bleeding double entendres and fatally out of puns.
As final thoughts raced through her mind, Gretchen had a rush of epiphanies, such as fights are easier to get into than to get out of, that domestic violence may lead to foreign conflicts, that those who shout breathlessly for glory in wars abroad are usually failures in bed, that some people fall back into a coma after watching Bill O’Reilly, and that a man with half a brain knew more than Glenn Beck. She also realized that acting all macho, espousing attacks and promoting bombings had not turned her into a man, just as the same hadn't turned other women like Ann Coulter, Laura Ingraham and Rush Limbaugh into men.
Just before she took her last breaths, Doctor Sanjay Gupta arrived, promising her to save her life only if she would read his book, “How To Live Longer By Doctor Sanjay Gupta”. Gretchen chose to die with honor, instead of being bored to death, by Doctor Sanjay Gupta.
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Nice episode!Thank you for
by roony on Thu Apr 22, 2010 06:23 AM PDTNice episode!Thank you for posting :)
<a href="//www.pokercalculator-free.com/">poker odds calculator</a>
......
by yolanda on Mon Nov 16, 2009 07:41 PM PSTHi Dr. Hamid,
I visited the ROM already. That is the one with Chinese Ming tomb:
//www.omnitv.ca/ontario/tv/signatureseries/episodes/romreduxchina/
I visited Casa Loma also, it is walking distance from my folks' home..... I could see CN Tower from my folks' balcony. I have to say that I prefer Southern Cal's weather over Canada. Canada's winter is freezing cold, I visited there twice during X-mas. Canada's weather reminds me of the weather in my hometown I was a little kid. My hometown has very distinct 4 seasons: you can skate in winter (it snows in winter) and swim in summer, but I got bronchitis every winter, which was no fun at all......In Southern Cal, the weather is perfect and priceless....I agree with you that Canada is closer to US in terms of Culture and language, but Queen's picture is still on every postage stamp...Thank you so much for translating my name!!
Delaram Banafsheh (Yolanda)
"Cactus in the Desert"
.....
by yolanda on Mon Nov 16, 2009 07:15 PM PSTDr. Esther,
Here is Mississauga's Chinatown, you should visit there once:
//www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4zvibzr3NA
Delaram Banafsheh (Yolanda)
"Cactus in the Desert"
Canada
by Esther on Mon Nov 16, 2009 01:05 PM PSTDB(Y)/CitD, I can only hope to be as funny as Dr. Hamid. Also, Dr. Hamid is both wise and clever, whereas I am only clever.
And yes, I am Canadian (it's nice to see something positive on this site about my country as opposed to the usual "Sucks to Canada" ;). Canada is only cold in winter (and only parts of it, although if you are from the southern US, you may choose to differ).
Dr. Hamid, Setareh (QoDs) says, how could Canada not be a jewel when it has diamonds in spades, both royal and arctic? She thinks Quebec City has a thing with France, although neither are known for their marriages ("anniversaire" should be translated as "birthday", but sometimes it is mistranslated as "anniversary").
And yes, we Canadians try to be nice. I am very fond of my hometown, Vancouver, and Montreal. My favorite garden is actually Dr. Sun Yat-Sen (you have to pay to enter the garden part, but the equally nice park part is free). It's in Vancouver's Chinatown, which I must on principle prefer to Mississauga's (I have never been to Mississauga's).
As for our culture (or lack thereof), peacekeeping (let's not talk about Somalia or Afghanistan), and Olympics (I like figure-skating, just not in Vancouver), we will have to save those subjects for another time. But thank you both for your generous impressions of my country!
Delaram Banafsheh Cactus in the Desert
by Hamid Taghavi on Mon Nov 16, 2009 12:45 PM PSTCanada is a lot closer in culture and accent to the U.S. than Britain because of proximity. You'll notice many major Canadian cities lined up exactly against the U.S. border, perhaps a defensive measure from way back during the war of independence. The U.S. was this close to capturing both major cities of Canada at that time, at which point the British foothold would have all but vanished and Canada would have been part of an even more gigantic U.S.. Driving along the fantastically long highways, there is this unique feeling of being outside of the U.S. and yet not too far away because every couple of hundred miles you see signs pointing to a U.S. border crossing. C.N. tower is definitely worth seeing because the spectacular view goes on uninterrupted. The view of the water is especially exhilarating. If you get a chance do visit Royal Ontario Museum and Casa Loma also.
........
by yolanda on Mon Nov 16, 2009 11:11 AM PSTHi! Hamid,
My folks took me to Niagara Falls, it was super cold that day plus wind-chill factor....I visited Mississauga, there is a Chinatown there, very pretty.....I also visited a Hockey museum in Toronto, some historical homes, and regular museums, this one museum has a huge Chinese Ming Tomb, it is huge....it must be smuggled out of China by ship 'cause it could be transported by plane.....the funny thing is that right after I walked off the plane, I heard American country music by "lone Star".....the night time TV show was "Jeopardy"......Canadians seem to speak American English even though it is part of British Commonwealth.....Another good thing about Canada is that it has not invaded any countries......I am excited about Olympic Winter Games, 2010, in Vancouver, 'cause I am a figure skating fan.....Last time I went to Canada I missed CN tower......hopefully I can do it next time....
Thank you for everything!
Delaram Banafsheh (Yolanda)
My American Indian name is "Cactus in the desert"
Disclaimer: I am not Indian, only look like one!
Canada
by Hamid Taghavi on Mon Nov 16, 2009 10:43 AM PSTCanada is a jewel of modern travel. It's the type of place you can lose yourself in without feeling lost. But don't worry if you get lost. They'll give you directions. The directions might be wrong but they'll do it so nicely you won't mind. Its empty vastness can be daunting but Canadians make up for it with their gentle souls. Yolanda, once you have had enough of the usual suspects of Toronto and Niagara, there are tons of other cities and sites to amaze you. Quebec City just had its 400th anniversary (though I don't know who the husband is). Between Q City, Montreal's old town and Ottawa you'll feel like you have already seen Europe. And once you have graced that side you'll be ready to spend a month of relaxation in Vancouver, Victoria and Whistler. If you seen nothing else you'll have to see the most amazing garden on the planet, Butchart Gardens on Victoria.
......
by yolanda on Mon Nov 16, 2009 06:41 AM PSTHi! Dr. Esther,
You are equally funny! Thank you for your kind-ness and great sense of humor. Are you Canadian?
I forgot to tell you that I visited Toronto twice, I have relatives there. My impression of Canada is that the weather is freezing cold (when I was there), but the Canadians are super-warm people. My favorite Canadians are Peter Jennings (sorry, he passed away), Shania Twain, and Celine Dion. I have the 2 singers' CD's, concerts on DVD's , and You-tube videos.
take care!
Delaram Banafsheh (Yolanda)
......
by yolanda on Mon Nov 16, 2009 05:05 AM PSTHi! Hamid,
LOL! Please stop saying that your Farsi has limits. I don't believe a word you said!!! Your English and Farsi are great....it is why IC placed your articles on the "center stage", I am the one who can't do a thing when it comes to writing!!!!! I deeply appreciate that you have come up with the suggestion "Delaram" and "Banafsheh"......I know it is not easy to find a word that means "easy-going and tolerant", my native language is full of homonyns, so my 1st name indicates 2 attributes, I guess that is my parents' intention and they want me to get along with people, be nice to everyone! LOL!
Thank you sooo much for going the extra mile to help out IC's non-farsi readers. May God bless you!!!!
Delaram Babafsheh (yolanda)
Yolanda & Dr. Hamid
by Esther on Mon Nov 16, 2009 05:04 AM PSTYolanda, you certainly live up to your first name! I'm happy the Greek roots of your violet have been transplanted and your Persian alteregos are multiplying, too. :)
Dr. Hamid, your title is actually more courtesy of Setareh, thanks only to you and your humbling favors, your long shadow, and of course your heavenly presence. ;)
Yolanda
by Hamid Taghavi on Mon Nov 16, 2009 01:04 AM PSTNow you're testing the limits of my Farsi knowledge. The closest one that comes to mind is "Delaram" (pronounced del aa-raam), literally meaning quiet-hearted. I'm sure others who read this will have better suggestions. The necklace would be a natural ice breaker and a great tool to spread a message of peace, something that you seem to be quite good at.
You have to be careful asking for such suggestions though. People are known to have taught cuss words to unsuspecting non-Farsi speakers as a joke, or sending them off to tell some lady in Farsi how pretty their dress is, when in reality what the other lady heard them say was "in what garage sale did you buy your dress and why didn't you wash it first?" I have never done anything like that even though I once got into trouble when my cousin's kid asked me to put a fake tattoo on her little arm, on her birthday no less, and I drew a heart with an arrow through it, and the word "Jorge" below it. It would have helped if I hadn't rolled up her short sleeve to look like a truck driver. Fortunately it erased easily and no pictures had been taken.
......
by yolanda on Mon Nov 16, 2009 12:10 AM PSTHi Hamid,
Sorry to bother you again. Yolanda is my middle name. My 1st name in my native language means "easy-going and tolerant". Is there a word or name in Farsi, that has the meaning of "easy-going and tolerant"?
I am thinking of making a bilingual name tag necklace.
//cgi.ebay.com/Name-Necklace-Any-Name-in-Arabic-or-Farsi-Sterling_W0QQitemZ360201582200QQcmdZViewItemQQptZLH_DefaultDomain_0?hash=item53ddaff678
I have a blingual necklace with the word "Peace" in English and Farsi, it was made in India.
thanks,
yolanda
Please ignore my question if you are busy.
Yolanda
by Hamid Taghavi on Sun Nov 15, 2009 11:49 PM PSTNice! Yes. Enjoy your new nom de guerre. I squeezed the title Dr. from Esther. Maybe you can do the same and combine it with your chosen name for a completely customized alterego.
......
by yolanda on Sun Nov 15, 2009 01:25 PM PSTHi Hamid,
I got excited about making a Persian name, I want to have a real Persian name also, not just the anglicized one, so is the following the Farsi version for violet?
noun
- بنفشه (گ.ش.)
adjectiveThank you so much for everything!
yolanda
Dr. Hamid & Yolanda
by Esther on Sun Nov 15, 2009 01:24 PM PSTDr. Hamid, thank you for humoring your non-Iranian patients (you do seem to have some sort of specialty in humor and patience). I can diagnose but I can't treat, so I'm grateful for the wisdom of those who have better learned to understand and live with their affliction. It's good to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel!
......
by yolanda on Sun Nov 15, 2009 10:50 AM PSTThank you, Hamid, for the recommendation. I will figure out how to pronounce it later!
Thank you!!!!
yolanda
Yolanda
by Hamid Taghavi on Sun Nov 15, 2009 09:45 AM PSTSince Esther mentioned it, if your alterego searches for an Iranian name, "banafsh" is the color violet, and "Banafsheh" is the flower violet, as well as a common female name.
Esther and Iranzadegi
by Hamid Taghavi on Sun Nov 15, 2009 09:39 AM PSTDoctor Esther correctly diagnoses Iranzadegi as a serious affliction. Some people are born with it and some are afflicted later in life, either through direct contact or through adventurous curiosity. Highly contagious, there is no known cure for it as the affliction irreversibly transforms the mind. Indeed, those who spent only the first few years of their lives there can never shake off the affliction. Their entire lives are consumed with rediscovery and examination of their memories of a mythical land and people far away whose DNA embodies a vast journey through a cauldron of extreme opposite forces. Those afflicted later enjoy a lifetime of discovering and nurturing their inner Iranian. But that DNA also encodes a recurring message, that though man is the definition of the eternal battle of light and dark, at the end light is victorious, and perhaps that is why we all cherish the affliction.
Yolanda & Médecins Sans Frontières
by Hamid Taghavi on Sun Nov 15, 2009 09:09 AM PSTNo good story (and most bad ones) would leave a half-brain in charge of Médecins Sans Frontières. although in real life some countries choose leaders with even smaller portions. These may be reactionary, regressive times, but those periods generally give birth to progressive times and so some day all organizations may be without borders. Thanks for the nice comment! Your always positive outlook is quite refreshing.
....
by yolanda on Sat Nov 14, 2009 08:57 PM PSTHi Esther,
You are soooooo smart! I love that word! Thank you! I have a corresponding word for you, Persophile,
//en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Persophilia
Thank you so much for being my friend!
take care!
yolanda (a Pesian trapped in an non-Persian body) :O)))
Yolanda
by Esther on Sun Nov 15, 2009 03:38 AM PSTFortunately or unfortunately, I am not a doctor (with or without borders, or camels). Nor do I have any connection to the illustrious Dr. Sanjay Gupta. However, I would self-diagnose us both with a terminal case of iranzadegi. (Iranzadegi is a corruption of gharbzadegi, which you can read about at //en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gharbzadegi.)
....
by yolanda on Sat Nov 14, 2009 05:22 PM PSTHi! Esther,
I am sorry, I can't stop laughing when I see funny stuff on IC. If you know any anti-giggling shots or prescriptions, please let me know, only medications can stop me from laughing , nothing else! I am having too much fun here!
take care!
P.S. I am 100% non-Persian. I have no luck, it is sooo sad! :O))))
Here is the short version
by professorgoat on Sat Nov 14, 2009 02:31 PM PSTThere was a young man called Ed
Who's woman was fucked in the head
She thought she was tough
And tried to play rough
and now she's unfunnily dead
Mordecai said ...
by Esther on Sat Nov 14, 2009 01:13 PM PST"Hadassah, dear, I'm becoming rather alarmed. If your Persian alteregos keep multiplying at such a disturbing rate, I'm going to have to send you to the asylum with MPD (and Creator of MPD)." I told him, "Wake up! I'm already at i.com, which is variously a madhouse, a funhouse, and sometimes even a refuge. Don't worry, Esther promises to beware Haman. And Setareh, queen of diamonds promises to beware the kings of clubs, the jacks of spades, and hams of all sorts (not to mention green eggs and licorice ;)."
Yolanda, you should get a Persian alterego, too! There must be Persian names related to violet (either the flower or the color). Or maybe eggs or ice, since you are always cracking up. ;)
.....
by yolanda on Fri Nov 13, 2009 09:15 PM PSTThank you for the good laugh! I am glad that Ed did not work for Médecins Sans Frontières, which received Nobel Peace Prize in 1999. I admire people working for Médecins Sans Frontières very much. I think it is the coolest to work for them 'cause you can help people and make a difference.......
Esther, your post cracked me up..
Azarin
by Hamid Taghavi on Wed Nov 11, 2009 08:12 AM PSTSo you're the one leaving coffee stains on all those books, smearing my mustard stains... I know I'm not a genius but I'll take your bigger compliment, that you laughed. I look forward to your story when it comes out. Thank you for your generously kind words.
Ari
by Hamid Taghavi on Wed Nov 11, 2009 08:11 AM PSTClever pun. And very flattering. The only place to get one of those rocks is to unravel a pyramid. I appreciate the kind words and the rocky present.
Esther
by Hamid Taghavi on Wed Nov 11, 2009 08:08 AM PSTI followed both links. The Persian root of the name is definitely plausible. You'll notice that "star" in natural Iranian accent is pronounced "estar". If that were the case then today's equivalent name for Esther/star would be "setareh", a common and beautiful name. As for diamonds and queens and titles, Queen of Persia these days can only be found in movies but we can get you the title of queen of diamonds. And keep away from that evil Haman.
As always, thank you for your encouraging words.
You are a genius! Did you know it?
by Azarin Sadegh on Wed Nov 11, 2009 08:08 AM PSTI am sitting at Barnes and Nobles coffee shop, trying to focus on my depressing story...but just can't! I have already read your story and can't stop laughing (but only in my head though, so poeple around me wouldn't take me for a crazy or dangerous woman).
Amazing writing! Thank you so much for sharing your work with us! A true pleasure to read...I hope you already know that you are a real genius!
Azarin, your fan
You're smokin'
by Ari Siletz on Wed Nov 11, 2009 08:06 AM PSTA milestone in IC humor. Where did you find a stone this long?