POETRY

Also Excited

Dear
Mehraban,

I
am also very excited reading your analysis of my work. You are an extremely
amazing critique who can make writers/poets excited about their own work. I am
not saying this only because of what you wrote on my poem, but because of all
encouraging texts and analysis I have seen from you on many other authors.
Thank you very much for spending your precious time and commenting so
extensively on this poem. I really really appreciate and respect your writing.
I wish I knew you in person and would ask you to kindly write a blurb for my
second poetry book in English. Many regards. Warmly, Nilofar 

Great

I love this poem!!

Excitement

I think my reaction to your work is also excitement.  Similar to what I can imagine people felt when they first read Nima or saw their first Bunuel movie at the time.  When one has this feeling that something new and worthwhile is happening.  And that after this, things will not be the same in Persian poetry, that an event, a game changer has occurred.  I like, appreciate, understand this poem in many different levels.  Its content is just one of them.  

Foremost, the content, the structure and the manipulation of the language go hand in hand, this rarely (in my experience) happens in Persian poetry. For example, band band of the mother’s fingers (a dominant theme in the content) is repeated in the band band organization of the poem. In each (band) of the poem the mother executes  different skills (honar) which drip from the (bands) of her fingers. The content and the structure are infused in this poem much like the sisters are.

The poem’s structure and its narrative are reminiscent of a production line; that step by step process which produces that ideal product (the beauty queen……..).  The poet’s structure is as determined as the mother’s process.  What product at the end of the production process is not inspected and who more qualified than a legal judge for such a job.   The choice of a legal judge for the profession of the father in the poem is almost necessary to convincingly support the narrative of the story; he is the judge (invested with the highest authority to examine the product and put his stamp of approval).  The fact that this judge is the father at the same time is the same perverse twist that one is faced with at the first three verses of the poem with the mother’s feeling towards her daughters.  First we are told that she loves her daughters but in the next two verses realize that she loves to just (?) make them beautiful. This maneuver in the first three verses of the poem would be impossible in the English language for example.  The poet’s intimate understanding of Persian’s structural capabilities affords her this play at the beginning of the poem. In this poem nothing is what it seems (or should be).  No wonder it made me think of Bunuel. 

There are also brilliant word plays for example the use of the world Kameleh, when the mother is mixing her two (imperfect) daughters to make one perfect one -  kameleh -the word- is mimicking the actual action of the mother. Kameleh -to me - sounds like a composite of hameleh and kamel.  The sisters being infused, one carrying the other  (Hameleh), to make a perfect (Kamel)entity.  There is much more but I stop here.  

In short there is a serious and capable poet/writer at work here she will move this art form and culture in directions I have seldom seen, I am glad I am here to read the work.  

Ps. (Band) in Persian means segment it could also mean captivity or what keeps one captive.  Depending on the context (Band) could also have other meanings.

Very Nice!

بنظر من این شعر تقریبا همون حرفی‌ رو میزنه، برداشت من، که آقای فرهادی در مورد جامعه جمهوری اسلامی گفته، یعنی‌ تضاد ها!  ایران جامعه تضاد هاست. 

Everything is sacred

khanom jon, aslan be-khial

if you can't take the critics, don't publish your work.
Good luck.

To Souri

Lovely,
what do you want me to say? You are the queen of Iranian.com. I do not dare talkin back to her majesty, especially when she orders: do not ... . I can only say:

به خانومی خودت
ببخش

Now,
on a more serious note: I understand that you think my poetry is bad, that I am
a freak and have psychological issues, and that you cannot take this garbage
anymore. And I empathy with you. But as you are such a balanced and composed
person of high literary taste and  my shit bothers you, why do you read
it? Why do you torture yourself? In your view, I might be sick, but I do not
read things I do not enjoy. There are other poetry available
on this website which might appeal to your taste:

اهل کتاب / رد پای
خودی / به آغوش دراز نی 

Help
yourself with them. So far 511 other souls beside you read my work. Some might have liked it. You are one not all: "I, Sorou, not we 512 readers. 

The rule of thumb in reading a literary text: distinguish between the narrator/voice of characters/the lyrical speaker of the poem and the writer/author/poet.  

Have
a wonderful night,

Nilofar 

Niloofar

Thanks for the remark.

I've change the "we" to "I" now.

To all who have left a comment

To Anahid: Thanks dear Anahid for your comment. As you know, at least in English literature, people distinguish between the poet and the speaker of the poem. This also applies to Forough's poetry. Art and reality are never the same. Even if some details in this poem or my other poetry fit the reality, this is irrelevant to the poetry itself. For example, I wrote this particular poem first in English and in English version the name of the mother is Maheen. The other thing is that this poem might to some degree represent the condition of some Iranian women; yet, art is always particular, never general. As Asghar Farhadi said in one of his interviews, my film is not about Iranian society and how it works; my film is about two families from Iranian society which face difficult and specific circumstances. If you can reduce my poem to some statement about general Iranian woman, it means that my poem is worth nothing as a piece of arts. I hope this is not the case. Souri's reaction confirms my idea, because she as an Iranian woman does not identify with the speaker and some specific details of the poem get on her nerves.

To Mehraban: Every time, you put a comment on my work you make me extremely happy, because I believe you have a very fine, cultivated, and deep sense of literature. Please do not be apologetic. Actually, my MFA supervisor Professor George McWhirter, a fine poet and translator, told about my poetry that its voice is brutally honest. I paid attention to what he said and tried to employ my brutality and hones voice towards enhancement of my work. I was also many times told by my Canadian colleagues that my poetry is stark in a good sense. Again, I tried to understand what that means and how I can develop it. An interesting story is that last time a Drift Collective--a meeting of a few Vancouverite poets and writers--had a workshop, I said about one of my colleagues' poetry that her poems are a bit sentimental. Sonnet L'Abbe, another member who is a great poet and critique of poetry for who I have huge respect, said, but Nilofar, one can say your poetry is very sentimental too. I was surprised. Is it, I asked. Yes, it is full of flowers and butterflies. She was particularly referring to one of my last poems with the title Parvaneh in three Movements. This was very interesting to me to find out how much I carry the spirit and elements of Persian poetry in my work. More interesting thing is that Iranians find my work harsh and non-sentimental, while some non-Iranians find my work a bit sentimental and in tune with Classical love poetry. e.g. someone who wrote a review on Shirin and Salt Man. ! It seems that for some Iranians, the yardstick for how far you can go is Forough.

Sorry Mehraban for rambling. I just wanted to share this interesting story with you. To tell you the truth, myself as an Iranian, I would find my own poetry harsh. Please do not hesitate communicating further and let me know what you think.

Dear Souri: Thanks for your comment. I value all sorts of comments. But just respond to those who talk with a first person sigular pronoun of "I", not plural pronoun of "we".

Not so amazing

I didn't find anything interesting in this poem.

and why do you mentione in every poem, that your father was a Judge?

Leave him alone. who  care about that?
You seem to be the only person who cares about that and maybe deep in you, there's something you must search and resolve it.

Nice poem Niloofar

Reminds me of a Foroogh poem in which she writes about her sister and rest of family. However, I believe that you are not necessarily talking about your mother and sister but the condition of many women in Iran.  Conditions in which much effort is done in beautifying oneself while they can stay quiet in face of being secnd class citizen. Yes, we do have women like Nasrin Setoodeh and Bahareh Hedayat but considering all the injustice to women, you would think less effort woud be towards beauty and more towards obtaining freedom.  In a way, this is rather expected in a society in which religion and the theocracy thinks of women as men's possessions and many women buy into it too and make sure they get to the point that they can become someone's property.

Your work is really amazing

Amazingly harsh in a way that makes all our poetry and pretenses of butterflies and candles and roses irrelevant. I know you would balk at "amazing" at its meaningless lightness so maybe I will come back later and say something worthwhile. 

I generally have this reaction to your work, I am generally speechless.   

Excellent

Revealing... Thank you for sharing.