Anahid Hojjati

Morteza: "Don't call me Alien, Mike. Man,  you are talking like a redneck, white trash."

Mike: "But don't you guys stone women for sleeping with someone, don't you guys rape girls before execution"

 Morteza:"Our Islamic rulers are those who give the orders to stone women. They are the ones in charge."

 Mike:"So Ahmadinejad and Khamenei are the ones who stone wome, and they are also the ones who rape women and then they shoot them or hang them?"

Morteza:"Not quite like that bro, but they are our leaders and it is their faults and we are not aliens.  Also, it is Persian Gulf not Arabian Gulf. My dad and grandaddy also told me that Cyrus the Great was the greatest, the best of all kings ever. We also have thousands of years of civilization, best carpets in the world, cute cats and awesome looking women, and ..."

Mike:" So it was your several thousand year civilization that advanced you to the point that now you stone women, you worry about their hair cover but you don't care if the prostitution has increased. You guys have huge problem with corruption and last time, I was in Tehran, the air was so polluted, and the traffic was horrible, and ..."

Morteza:" But you guys start wars and you have a homeless problem, and look at the housing crisis.  So many things about your society are just a bubble. Take the dotcom for instance.  My dad lost everything in dotcom crash, just like your dad did."

Mike:”But our civilization is only few hundred years old. So far we got rid of slavery. Women and blacks have more rights. Our recent wars have been with dictators or countries like Afghanistan that have had barbaric regime which treated the women worse than we treat animals here. We will…”

Morteza:" velesh kon baba. Beeya bereem ye chelokabob bezaneem, khodam va khodet. Badan ham mamaan joon meeyad, lebaasamo ke shosteh beeyareh. Aslan don't worry Mike, chakeretam. Eenghadr geer nade."