Ari Siletz

Putting wheels on men

benross, 

"The issue is not for men not to be pigs. The issue is accepting who we are, then change in attitude will come gradually."

That's a constructive approach. Thinking in terms of a design  metaphor, some sofas have wheels, which doesn't mean they are in the wrong place and need to be  moved. It just measn they could be easily moved if it becomes necessary. Or all cars have a place for a jack, which doesn't mean there's something wrong with the car, but just in case. Similiary the well designed Iranian male should have some sort of wheel, or handle or... on his cultural attitudes so that he is accessible to change. More than anything, Shadi Sadr's seemingly insensitive statement is a call for better designing our psychologies  so that cultural transformations and rearrangements towards modernity becomes easier. We shouldn't be stubborn about  not needing such an access point, claiming we are fine as we are and where we are. It's not too much to ask really!

Perfect design

Actually I really think men's washroom sign should be exactly that. It's ingenious. It is instantly recognizable what it means and I should add, I won't hesitate entering that room if needed.

My mother once said "when I was a child, I travelled on a donkey. In middle age, on a jumbo jet."

This is the brief history of social transformation in Iran. It's just too much, too fast, yet unavoidable. In the west, the ideas of some 200 years ago led to women rights to vote some fifty years ago. But we have to swallow the modernity all at once. I'm viscerally opposed to those who think that in adopting modern values, we can be selective and adopt it in our traditional culture. I deeply believe that our modern culture can be truly Iranian, only if it is completely modern. No mascara. This selective approach was what got us to this situation in the first place.

But it doesn't mean that the task is easy.

The issue is not for men not to be pigs. The issue is accepting who we are, then change in attitude will come gradually. We can never ever be selective in modern values. We have to take it as a whole. If we can't handle it, it's not a big deal. Because we know it's our own shortcoming. We don't blame it on others, we don't hide behind reactionary thoughts, we just do our best to handle it.

This is how, not only on women's rights issues, but in any modern issue, we can reach a social peace. We are not selective. We know it's hard to swallow. We know we can't handle it. But we also know it's the only way out. So we know it's nobody's fault. We just keep trying to do our best. That's all.

VPK, practically speaking

Anonymouse

But you can't say now is not the time for women's rights and we have bigger fish to fry. 

I never said that. I am absolutely for women's rights. In fact I am for an equal rights "amendment" in an Iranian constitution. Giving all people: women and men exactly the same right and responsibilities.

But women's rights require getting rid of IRI. We will not have equality or even a major step toward it with IRI in place. 

The issue is this:

• While in the West Iranian women enjoy a pretty reasonable set of rights. Vastly greater than those in Iran. So this is not the main issue to me.
• Women in Iran have very few right so that is the main issue. While IRI remains we can talk all we want but women in Iran will suffer. To give them rights we need to get rid of IRI and Islamists power.

Meanwhile we could discuss whatever we want but it lacks any power. Not until the government changes.

VPK

LOL, Divaneh!

Damn

I have to go and piss behind the wall again.

Why women aren't in charge

 Video:

//www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/06/04/mark-haines-makes-sexist_n_600487.html

Esther - yes, porky pig is fine - ALL male chauvinistic pig; NOT

.

Not "cute"

MM, as a woman, I would not say this is a "cute" cartoon (I am also rather rather annoyed with that word at the moment for unrelated reasons).  However, I would say it is a "clever" cartoon.  If you read "Animal Farm" or think about synonyms for "stubborness" (there may be more that I missed), you will see that "pigs", unlike "b*t*h*s or w*or*s", is not simply offensive.

No Joke!

Everything is sacred.

Thanks Anonymouse and this better be no joke :)

thanks. I have "guts", you have "guts", we all have "guts".

Anahid jaan you have "guts" as Azadeh said ;-)

Everything is sacred.

Dear Anonymouse, when I said ALL

Dear Anonymouse, you have shed plenty of your male chauvinistic hair.  I agree with Azadeh Azad where she says that women can also have male chauvinistic attitude. I need myself to shed some more hair.

Iranian men needed this chauvinistic boost like Iran needs IRI

With all the negative image that IRI has given us, all we needed was another booster shot??????

As VPK said, the problem is IRI and its 7th century laws.  Once IRI goes away and gender equality is the law of the land, this talk about chauvinism becomes an after-thought.

As much as I love Shadi Sadr's work and respect her, I for one is disappointed in her for making this a male vs. female Iranian problem rather than IRI vs. real Iranian problem.  The love and respect of the ancient Iranian men towards women is well documented:

WOMEN IN ANCIENT IRAN

//www.cais-soas.com/CAIS/Women/women_ancient_iran.htm

Persian Women in Power

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5umNyfYgCs&feature=player_embedded

.....

Hi! Anahid,

     You are soooooo funny! LOOOOOL! 

Anahid jaan that was a joke!

I know I have made statements that can be construed as chauvinistic.  But that's ok, we live in America and I'm a cyber character and mean no harm except for the vagina nuts who think Islamic Republic is god's gift to Iranians!

Do you really think I'd give credit to myself like that?  I meant that comment when you and others said that there are many good Iranian men around and I thought to include myself in that category! 

Of course there are many good Iranian men (millions) but that's not the issue.  Good men can be chauvinists.  Right? If a woman finds a man who is good in all categories but somewhat chauvinistic would he be automatically dismissed?  Don't we have family members who we love but know them to be chauvinists?

Everything is sacred.

VPK so now is not the time?

Joining forces yes.  But you can't say now is not the time for women's rights and we have bigger fish to fry.  And don't say fight for women's rights is not different than fighting against the regime.

As Mr. Bagherzadeh wrote in his article regime is looking at silencing women as the low hanging fruit and by focusing on them they can silence a large population of green movement.

So we can do the same and we can pick the women's rights fight as the lower hanging fruit.  Although not any easier but it can be used and as we have seen women have actually been the leaders in the fights against the regime.

The bolder the statement the more it'll get attention.  Shadi Sadr's statement has made it's impact and the more people hear about it the more impact it'll have.  Of course half bearded analysts will try to dissuade people by sticking to the ALL definition but the "damage" is done and in my opinion her statement came at the best opportune time with the best message.  I recommend reading it again to realize the ALL is a smoke screen. 

Everything is sacred.

some like myself...have shed all our chauvinistic hair,not true

Dear Anonymouse, I don't believe you have shed all your chauvinistic hair.  Do you think just because you are holding the flag today on IC, your statement is true? Do you think because you have become "kase daghtar az ash" with regards to this issue in the past few days, all of a sudden we agree with your statement?

As much as I like your blogs and generally see you as a positive writer on IC, I can give you specific example of your online IC behavior that shows that you still have some hair to shed :).

Anonymouse

Women's rights = killing 2 birds (regime & injustice) w/ 1 stone

Everything is sacred.

right VPK - IRI & its 7th century chauvinistic laws IS d problem

.

ALL = 100%

Look I honestly believe 100% of Iranian men have done something chauvinistic in their life time.  So in this regard 100% = 100%.

Now once you get passed this ALL issue, you can accept 95%, 90%, 80% certainly more than 50% of Iranian men are chauvinistic a little more or a little less, some like myself or (Ali P :-) have shed all our chauvinistic hair!  Althouth Ali P sometimes makes some negative comments but that is another story ;-()

Chauvinism is not a crime, it is neither a felony nor a misdemeanor.  It is just annoying.  In countries like Iran it makes it's citizens (like me and Ali P and you ;-) be more than annoying.

So this is it.  If we can ALL acknowledge this problem it is a step forward.  Iranian men need a wake up call and a slap in the face to wake up (not me or Ali P of course ;-).  So let's beat the drums and let them hear what Shadi Sadr said.  The pampering and trying other approaches have all failed.  It's time to be more blunt.   

Everything is sacred.

Ari is

right once again as he usually is. The fight here is not between men and women. I *love* my mother; my daughter my other family members. There is no fight between us. This whole female vs male thing is frankly idiotic. 

The real enemy is IRI and its hatred of all Iranians Women AND Men. Most of all IRI hates children. We must work together to fight the Islamists. No society is whole when its two halves fight one another.

HG/Anonymouse/Anahid

HG/A.,

Perhaps you would have understood reverse chauvinism if you were the victim of reverse racial discrimination, as I was.  enough said there.

But, I am glad that you agree that ALL was a poor choice to describe chauvinism in Iranian men.  Nonetheless, we are adults here and could have understood that there is a problem with chauvinism and discussed with without drama and name-calling.  As I said to Ari before, he would have gotten a ton of hate-mail from women if he had men vs. b*t*h*s or w*or*s depicted in the cartoon above to make a point, no matter how valid his point was.

Anahid,

Thank you my friend.

anon, real mc coy

anon, the word 'all' has a certain definition unless you're claiming that 'all' has different definitions such as 'amost all' or '99.99%.'  if you want people to stay 'focused' on the message, you shouldn't deride them for being focused on the words within the message.  while your statement that 'all blacks have experienced racism sometime in their life' may be true, it is not necessarily true.  it is possible that some blacks believe that they have not experienced racism.  unless, you would reply to them "you're just in denial, you wouldn't know racism if it hit you on the head."  at the same time, neither blacks nor whites who oppose racism would argue with your statement to begin with.

i'm not criticizing anyone's belief.  i'm experssing my opinion on what i believe is a more effective approach to dialogue.

and by you guys, who do you mean if i may ask.  will i be labeled defensive and insecure if i ask such innocuous question?  do you think that someone who is against gender inequality will stop being against gender inequality if they're rubbed the wrong way in an argument?  then, i too would question that person's intentions.

real mc coy, someone should tell k.d. lang that the veil is put on the head not on the shoulders. :)

Hamsade is right, there is no such reverse chauvinism or racism

You guys are TOO focused on the word ALL and again it is not correct or right to say ALL blacks are lazy but you can say ALL blacks have felt some sort of discrimination in their lives at one point or another.  Or as I said in another blog ALL men eat or drink.

If you want more meaning than what the ALL already says, put it in context of women "asking" men to stand up and distance themselves from this inequality.  In return all you can say is ALL doesn't mean me or some other men so I won't let you turn this into a fight against men?  What fight against men?!  Are men somehow shortchanged in this equation?! 

Everything is sacred.

Some ladies, please sing along your role model...

ari, mm, anon

ari, funny cartoon.  images evoking social issues are more thought-provoking to me.  when dogmatic statements are made in addition to the visuals, then my analytical mind gets pre-occupied with logic, veracity, .... for example, if i make the statement "all blacks are lazy," i may get attention and then claim that "i was just trying to make the blacks think," but i don't think that's the most conducive approach to dialogue and cooperation.  but visually, one can draw people with transparent skulls showing a black's empty head in a street scene being while idle while 'brained' people of different colors going to work.  while the message may be the same, it is more effective to get the message across. but, that's just me.

mm, in my opinion, there's no such thing as reverse chauvinism just as i don't believe there's reverse racism.  both male chauvanism and racism define the sentiments of oppressors toward the oppressed (i belive this was mentioned in another blog).  what people call reverse [fill in the blank] is actually the reaction of oppressed to the oppressor and quite does not have the same meaning as [fill in the blank].

anonymouse, the link that you provided seems a bit unislamic, at least risque islamic.  look how short the woman's skirt is!

Yes, Iranian women in Diaspora need healthy communities

I am with MM.  He has an excellent point where he writes:"I do not know where our dear Iranian women have been hanging out in the west to have so much hatred towards Iranian men, but please get out of where you are and seek healthy communities to restore your faith. "

Between Iranian men in Diaspora, I have seen many who have good attitude regarding women, so maybe part of the problem is with the choices that some Iranian women in Diaspora make.  They are simply not with the right crowd.

Ari khaan - ur signs are arbitary - u just gotta know d rules

//www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/adamandjoe/toilet-riding.jpg

Cute cartoon though..... if you are a woman.  I call this reverse chauvinism, since you would have gotten a ton of hate-mail if you had men vs. b*t*h*s or w*or*s in your cartoon.

While I agree that there is lots of gender prejudices in Iran, maily due to the disrespect of IRI for women (worth 1/2 men legally), as my cartoon shows, the rules are the same for both sexes in the west, no matter which door you choose.  You just need to know the rules and respect them.

I do not know where our dear Iranian women have been hanging out in the west to have so much hatred towards Iranian men, but please get out of where you are and seek healthy communities to restore your faith.

enough said.