Yesterday JJ gave his sincere apology for the US army advertisements in the IC. I think there was no need for such apology as it seems that those advertisements have raised a good deal of interests between IC members as revealed by the latest release of the confidential cables by the wikileaks that contain parts of the US Army interviews. Let me know if you come across any other leaks.
Here are the leaks:
* * * * *
- Let me get my head round this JJ. You have come for the interview but you say that you do not want the position.
- Yes, it was my assistant who sent the application.
- But here is the covering letter. It has your signature.
- Yes, I signed it, but I didn’t send it. My assistant sent it.
- Does it mean you are going to refund us the travel expenses paid for you to travel from Budapest to New Mexico?
- Could do, but I need to discuss it with a few friends in Thailand. I just need some travel assistance to get there.
* * * * *
- So Mahmoudg, what did get you interested in this position?
- Bombing Iran.
- Anything else?
- Bombing it again?
* * * * *
- Thanks for coming Samsam. Let me start by introducing myself. My name is Omar.
- You arabophile omati tokhm ghades. You shaikhaks want to attack the kiani land again. The sons of Ariobarzan will show you camel herders. You were just lucky in Nahavand because Constantin had tired us out.
* * * * *
- Thanks for your heartfelt CV Azarin. I, ... I, ..., I am so emotional now.
* * * * *
- Q, I ask for the sixteenth time. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
- YAWN. Palestinians are suffering in the hand of Zionists.
- That is not the answer to my question.
- BORING. More of the same. So according to you Lebanese should not defend themselves.
* * * * *
- So Souri, has there been a situation where you have left something to others to sort out?
- Yes, plenty, but I just tried to guide them first.
* * * * *
- That torch is dazzling my eyes VPK. Do you mind if you take it of your face. Ah, that’s better. Why do you dress like the angel of death?
* * * * *
- I had a bit of problem reading your CV to the end Dr Saadat Noury. It’s about 80 pages which is a little over the top. I have read the six pages of poems by different poets about education under the EDUCATION heading. There are also 14 pages of poems about skills and another 24 pages about experience. Do you think you can summarise it a little bit?
- Yes, perhaps we can take out that Ghaside by Farokhi Sistani.
* * * * *
- I have been very surprised to receive your application No Fear. I thought you supported the regime.
- Yes, but one can only progress by changing jobs.
* * * * *
- This is the end of the interview Faryarm, and I am sorry you have not been successful in this instance. It seems that your main purpose of coming here was to change my religion.
* * * * *
- Tell me Mr Kadivar, has there been an instance that you reached compromise with someone else?
- Yes, I once had a difference of opinion with someone who thought RP was king (shah) and I insisted that he was king of kings (Shahanshah) and we continued debating it for 16 hours.
- Did you reach an agreement?
- Yes, we agreed to disagree.
* * * * *
- I have now described the position Yolanda. Do you think it’s for you?
- OMG, you described it so beautifully.
- What is omg?
* * * * *
- That is the end of the interview Ms Rusta. Do you have any question for me?
- Yes, who killed Razmara?
* * * * *
- I am sorry Virgin Goth, I don’t find any relevant skills in your CV.
- knw. # ^ my bf saz go 4 it . <
* * * * *
- Now Sargord Pirouz, tell me about a situation where you helped a friend.
- A friend? ..a,.. a friend? ..friend? .. Yeh, once my mom was carrying the shopping....
* * * * *
- I am sorry Fussygorilla, you can’t keep applying with different names. And you have a poor taste in choosing names if I may say so.
* * * * *
- Yes, that’s ok Maziar, you can carry Oregano as a US soldier.
* * * * *
- Ok Sahameddin, let me start with the page of the supporting information that you have provided. You have written “ Why don’t we all form one army and work together, our earth is big enough for all of us, let’s forget the differences and help each other to make a better world”. Well that’s the title.
* * * * *
- - - - - - - - - - -
I apologise in advance if these leaks have annoyed anyone. I am just on a roll to make more friends recently.
Recently by divaneh | Comments | Date |
---|---|---|
زنده باد عربهای ایران | 42 | Oct 18, 2012 |
Iran’s new search engine Askali | 10 | Oct 13, 2012 |
ما را چه به ورزش و المپیک | 24 | Jul 28, 2012 |
Person | About | Day |
---|---|---|
نسرین ستوده: زندانی روز | Dec 04 | |
Saeed Malekpour: Prisoner of the day | Lawyer says death sentence suspended | Dec 03 |
Majid Tavakoli: Prisoner of the day | Iterview with mother | Dec 02 |
احسان نراقی: جامعه شناس و نویسنده ۱۳۰۵-۱۳۹۱ | Dec 02 | |
Nasrin Sotoudeh: Prisoner of the day | 46 days on hunger strike | Dec 01 |
Nasrin Sotoudeh: Graffiti | In Barcelona | Nov 30 |
گوهر عشقی: مادر ستار بهشتی | Nov 30 | |
Abdollah Momeni: Prisoner of the day | Activist denied leave and family visits for 1.5 years | Nov 30 |
محمد کلالی: یکی از حمله کنندگان به سفارت ایران در برلین | Nov 29 | |
Habibollah Golparipour: Prisoner of the day | Kurdish Activist on Death Row | Nov 28 |
re; What is KFRI?
by SamSamIIII on Mon Dec 27, 2010 09:13 AM PSTKFRI is short for Kiaani Federal republic of Iran based in Anarctica where Omaru motorcyclists are fed to Polar bears in Dome of Argus fire temple. & yes there shall be a Radio station named KFRI 641AD to play the offering music ::)).
Cheers!!!
Path of Kiaan Resurrection of True Iran Hoisting Drafshe Kaviaan //iranianidentity.blogspot.com //www.youtube.com/user/samsamsia
Dear Friends
by divaneh on Mon Dec 27, 2010 09:04 AM PSTDr Saadat Noury Aziz,
Thanks for your kind comment. I just had to pull a few friends legs including those that I view as the best bloggers in the IC such as yourself.
Faramarz Jaan,
I don't think that job is for you anyway. No swimming pool, no sex and no sandwich. Secretary's desk however is a different story.
Dear Maziar,
Thanks for the leaks; I think I am now heading to the South of Iran before Faramarz gets there.
Divaneh Jaan
by ebi amirhosseini on Mon Dec 27, 2010 08:57 AM PSTPriceless satire!.Will you honor us with part II please !!??
Sepaas
Happy New Year.
Ebi aka Haaji
funny
by maziar 58 on Mon Dec 27, 2010 08:49 AM PSTThank you Divaneh for our (eeidi) with your funny blog.
on a seriouse side let leak some report from that front(the secret mission).
in the northern part(gilan ) the soldiers & interperters are being so entertained that they refuse to go further south.!
And in the south (khuzestan) every blond with green eyes are so welcomed that they all abandon their stuffs saying F**# to America.! Happy new year Maziar
Samsam Jaan
by divaneh on Mon Dec 27, 2010 08:49 AM PSTThanks for reading and for your feedback. These are only caricatures of some of IC members and in no way how I perceive these people (with exception of a few). Would have been a fool if I did. I have just taken one dimension (and in some instances created one) and magnified it as a caricaturist do. Now to use a little more of your vocabulary, thanks pal.
Funny Leaks
by Faramarz on Mon Dec 27, 2010 08:46 AM PSTVery funny and creative Divaneh!
I couldn't get passed the secretary's desk for my interview. It is the new US Army policy "Do Ask and Do Tell!" So I spilled the beans as usual!
I liked Yolanda's the best.
Thanks for your excellent blog
by M. Saadat Noury on Mon Dec 27, 2010 08:44 AM PSTThere is an objective reality out there, but we view it through the spectacles of our beliefs, attitudes, and values. ~David G. Myers, Social Psychology
All the Best & Wishing You a Very Happy New Year!
?
by Sargord Pirouz on Mon Dec 27, 2010 08:34 AM PSTKerala Forest Research Institute?
Korea Food Research Institute?
Radio station KFRI 88.1FM?
KFRI Airport?
I admit to my own ignorance. What is KFRI?
:) A good, funny & somewhat factual satirical sketch
by SamSamIIII on Mon Dec 27, 2010 08:16 AM PSTof one's perception of another. After all, we are defined as who we're percieved to be in the eyes of the others. & just so you know the only time I would ever apply for a translator job would be not for US Army but KFRI and not from English to Farsi but Farsi to Parsi .
& Divaneh geramii;, In cyber space I enjoy the luxury of letting you see only the dimension I want you to see which is a kiaanophil;:)) & at that you fared well in your reportage.
btw*you missed a few adabiati cultists from the list but nevertheless funny enough.
Cheers!!!
Path of Kiaan Resurrection of True Iran Hoisting Drafshe Kaviaan //iranianidentity.blogspot.com //www.youtube.com/user/samsamsia
Thanks Sargord
by divaneh on Mon Dec 27, 2010 07:54 AM PSTFor reading and for taking it as what it was intended to be, light-hearted humour.
Dear Souri
by divaneh on Mon Dec 27, 2010 07:48 AM PSTI am sorry but it seems whatever I say will be interpreted wrong. With the comment that you have asked me to remove, it is already in your comment and if I remove it other people may think it was something offensive. I asked me and I explained it and I leave it at that.
This was pretty funny. My
by Sargord Pirouz on Mon Dec 27, 2010 07:47 AM PSTThis was pretty funny. My favorite one was No Fear. lol
And yeah, when I visit mom, I usually do some shopping for her at her local supermarket. She is getting up there in years.
You know, I did visit a local recruiter twice in my life. The first time was at my university. (I still have a 1980 USMC officer brochure). The second time was in the early 80s. My American cousin was a US Army recruiter at the time and was interested in having me apply as a helicopter pilot. My Iranian dad was very much against it. And I was having too much fun racing motorcycles and driving around in my Corvette to slow down for such a severe lifestyle change.
Those were different days back then, back when we had the second-best tank, the second-best rifle, the second-best APC...and civilians really looked down on the military back then. That's not the case anymore. Pay's a little better than it used to be, too.
no I didn't just waken up
by Souri on Mon Dec 27, 2010 07:39 AM PSTActually I have read a few articles and blogs before reading yours.
But your blog made me posting my view, as I found it not impartial at all.
You still didn't remove that part.
The good behavior of the people, warms our heart and make us thankful..... And the bad ones, just make us to recognize and appreciate the good ones!
Divaneh, this was one of most hilarious blogs in a while on IC
by Anahid Hojjati on Mon Dec 27, 2010 07:39 AM PSTDear Divaneh, this was so funny. Thanks for sharing.
Dear Souri
by divaneh on Mon Dec 27, 2010 07:35 AM PSTYou got this wrong. I have just reminded you that you can add your own leaks as I explained at the top of the blog. "Not being contraversial" also means the opposite in the spirit of this blog. Have you just waken up?
Divaneh
by Souri on Mon Dec 27, 2010 07:30 AM PSTI wish you removed the last phrase (PS) in your comment.
First of all, this is a free space and if I, wish to post a comment, I wouldn't need your permission.
Secondly, again by the same token, you shouldn't add the condition "as long as they are not controversial". This is only an implication that I (Souri) am able and supposed to do such thing.
Not nice!
PS_ Yes I think our views are very close, most of the time. Generally I appreciate you a lot.
The good behavior of the people, warms our heart and make us thankful..... And the bad ones, just make us to recognize and appreciate the good ones!
Dear Souri
by divaneh on Mon Dec 27, 2010 07:23 AM PSTI think of everyone as a friend. If you refer to people whose views are closer to mine or with whom I have more exchanges then plenty of them are amongst interviewees including yourself. I am pleased you found it funny.
p.s. You can add your own leaks as long as they are not contraversial.
That was very funny
by Souri on Mon Dec 27, 2010 07:13 AM PSTBut I didn't see any interview with your own IC friends.
You mean, they didn't apply?
The good behavior of the people, warms our heart and make us thankful..... And the bad ones, just make us to recognize and appreciate the good ones!
Glad you liked it Shazde
by divaneh on Mon Dec 27, 2010 07:07 AM PSTWish you a happy year too.
Absolutely funny ... can't stop laughing ... thanks brother
by Shazde Asdola Mirza on Mon Dec 27, 2010 06:49 AM PSTYou made my day, and I wish you a great year!
Bad Stories for Bad Kids