Advice: spank me azizam!


Advice: spank me azizam!
by eyeranian

This is my advice column. You can submit your questions about relationship, sex, marriage, society or any other topic you want and I will answer from my (Iranian, male, 40's, too few hairs on the head, few too many pounds on the body) most candid but often unique perspective. 

“Leather & Spank” (real name withheld by request) asks: In your today’s response to Kobra Khanoom (July 11) you mentioned S&M and that made me ask this question. While I am a bit on the more adventurous side of things sexually, my boyfriend of six months is straight as an arrow. He is the suit and tie type even in the bedroom while I prefer leather and an occasional spank. I am also wondering if I will be able to find such a relationship with an Iranian man as I have only dated khareji men so far. Is my current relationship doomed? What should I do? 

Dear “Leather & Spank”; Let’s be brief about the current BF. At six months I don’t see the two of you too involved to be able to overlook the obvious sexual incompatibility. You also haven’t included other reasons that are holding you two together. So, without knowing all the details and also reading between the lines when you seem to be already looking at the possibly of future relationships (possibly with an eyeranian dude,) I’d say its time to send him packing.

As for the second part of your question, Iranian men are indeed into S&M. They are also into a lot of other things, as long as you find the right one. There will also be many Iranian men that are going to be more of an “arrow” than your current BF and if you get into a relationship with one of those, you’ll be right where you are in six months.

There are advantages and disadvantages to everything and the general question of dating an Iranian versus a khareji is certainly no exception. Besides, what works for one may not work for another. I have - dated and - married both (not at the same time!) and have my own opinion, but since you didn’t ask, I will leave that for another time.

For now, get out there and find a man into leather, spanking will probably come as a natural bonus.

If you wish to contact me with your own questions or comments, please write to


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Eyeranian. I'm beginning to

by AnonymousTheMrs (not verified) on

Eyeranian. I'm beginning to wonder if this is a sex advice column. Is it? Or do you respond to other questions too, such as, how to I get my mother in law to be less snoopy or how do I get my co worker to eat less garlic. Please let me know, I have some things I need advice on.
But as to what applies to this blog, I have a question. If a woman is in a sexual situation with an Iranian man, should he say "who's your daddy" or "babat kieh". This has always been an issue and I've told my lover to stay away from it. When we say's so unsexy. It makes me think of my dad watching Price is Right and giving me apple slices. But "who's your daddy", at the right time, can drive me over the edge. What about, things like "are you gonna be my b*ich?" or other things we can say when we pull hair and all of that fun stuff. Are there any Farsi equivalents? This is a very serious question, thanks to anonymity maybe we can all learn a thing or 2.
Please advise.


aucontrarie (sorry about spelling)

by Alborzi (not verified) on

You guys are taking it very wrong. You are making it a moral issue. Its kind of like taking medicine all year to avoid a cold in the winter. Some issues are better dealt with symptomatically. If you have allergies to pollen take some antihistamine in the season. Its not a moral issue. Anyway be more with times and stop acting hezbullahi.


To eyeranian

by Ali1234 (not verified) on

Well, there was a time when Iranian men felt uncomfortable by the idea of strangers hanging around their neighborhood (mahaleh) and checking out the girls. Nowadays, Iranian women are asking them about being "spanked" by kharejis!! and some of them are replying to her that she should keep her Iranian bf/husband on one hand AND find another man to spank her!!

Way to go for gheyrat! (which is of course now a taboo word)


Love It!

by eyeranian on

LOL, I wish I had thought of the term "shapalakh"!


My advice, The chick

by TheMrs on

My advice, The chick perspective.

Honey, if you have to ask about this, it's time you leave poindexter and move on. Most Iranian men, from what I've gathered on this site alone, like porn. Which means, they have NOOO problem with a shapalakh now and again.


A Few Replies!

by eyeranian on

Ali1234: I don't see L&S boasting in her question. If anything, she only asked the question after seeing the topic raised and requested her name to be kept off, both of which suggests to me an element of discretion. Also, maybe the other writer was correct in suggesting that I have been out of Iran for too long, as I also don't see how our "pride and gheyrat" is suddenly under question when an Iranian female asks a frank question about her intimate life but not when millions of them have their every right stumped upon at home.

Alborzi: I believe you wrote that as a justification for yourself and for something you are doing or would like to, as L&S never said anything to make us conclude she "needs both."

Arash5: You are assuming L&S is is in a monogomous and exclusive relationship, when in reality we don't really know that.

Mani321: I don't think I understood much of your note. L&S is not married to anyone and certainly not to an Iranian nerd. Maybe you just needed an excuse to tell us about sex with your ex, or hoped L&S follows up with a note to hook up? Whichever it was, hope things work out!


Proof that Iranians do it

by Mani321 (not verified) on

Dear “Leather & Spank”,

I am a middle aged Iranian man. My ex-girlfriend was into spanking, hand cuffs and other minor S&M type thrills. Thrills that I was more than happy to oblige. We are both, outwardly, very conservative individuals. But we did whatever turn us on when we were alone.

Just wanted to share this with you so you don't give up on all Iranian men. I hate to tell you this, but, it seems, you've married an Iranian nerd. There ARE other kinds. In love (& lust) and war, all is fair.

I suggest you open up this dude's eyes. Unless he is a total geek, I bet he'll eventually see the light and drop his middle aged middle eastern hangups.

Good luck


To Alborzi

by Arash5 (not verified) on

Stop spreading this kind of sick mentality. Staying into relationship with someone and satisfying perversions with other?!! I am just sorry for you....


You need to be more open

by Alborzi (not verified) on

You see the way of finding some person who spanks you, might leave you with a person that is too domineering and bossy. Maybe even too psycho, this would not be a pleasant relation at all. The better way to go is to continue with the current boy friend or even some one who is better and at times relieve that urge by finding some one who is into s&m. In fact you get better
pleasure from a taboo and secret relation that the straight arrow. But you need both.


It's so sad to see that we

by Ali1234 (not verified) on

It's so sad to see that we have reached a point where Iranian girls are boasting about being "spanked" by "khajeri" men...

Not a shred of pride and gheyrat is left in us.