The 12th Imam Announces Major Reorganization!

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The 12th Imam Announces Major Reorganization!
by Faramarz
11-May-2011
 

A Fictional Tale about the Recent Claims by Rahim Mashaei, the Father of Ahmadinejad’s Daughter-in-law that the Hidden Imam is in Direct Contact with Them!

The 12th Imam had been feeling isolated lately! He had not attended any of the board meetings or conference calls and the employees and the customers have not had heard from him for quite a while! The new CEO, Rahbar Faghih, had taken the reins of the organization and had become the single conduit between him and the stockholders!

As the acting Chairman of the Board of Shia Islam he had set the vision for the organization a long time ago and had delegated the operational activities to his senior management team. But to his dismay, Rahber has been assuming more and more operational responsibilities and had created a bottle neck at the top. Rahbar had claimed that he had seen the Hidden One at the company gym and they even played a few rounds of racquetball! Mashaei countered that claim and said that he and Ahmadi have brown bag lunches with Mehdi regularly! So to set the record straight, the 12th Imam drafted a memo and sent it out to the management team and employees!

“As many of you know, our company has faced some difficult times lately. Our stock prices have been depressed, our retail marketing efforts in the emerging markets have not produced the expected results and, we are witnessing the emergence of competitors in key Middle Eastern markets. As such, I am putting in place the following steps to ensure the future success of our organization.

1. Starting immediately, I will remove layers of management and flatten our organization. I will be communicating directly with all of my management team and our key customers. I will listen to their prayers and will provide guidance as necessary.

2. We will cease operations and discontinue our retail marketing efforts in places where our messages are not resonating like Tunis, Egypt, Libya and Yemen.

3. We will accelerate our operations in markets where we have a strong foothold and we will increase our investment in R&D and marketing in Lebanon, Syria, Iraq, and Afghanistan.

4. Finally, we will become more opportunistic in emerging markets of Bahrain and UAE and will try to take advantage of opportunities as they present themselves.

We have much to be proud of and much to look forward to.”

Rahbar and Fox News immediately rejected the memo out-of-hand and questioned its authenticity.

They also demanded to see 12th Imam’s birth certificate!

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more from Faramarz
 
Faramarz

Thank You Comments!

by Faramarz on Thu May 12, 2011 01:04 PM PDT

Most Useful Information!

I am surprised that Donald doesn't use a blow dryer!


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comments

Faramarz

by comments on Thu May 12, 2011 12:00 PM PDT

I remember your point of interests, and I am just using your blog to transfer some important information:

//ca.news.yahoo.com/blogs/dailybrew/donald-trump-finally-explains-unique-hairstyle-201309946.html


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Faramarz

Thanks Roozbeh

by Faramarz on Thu May 12, 2011 06:58 AM PDT

Ahmadi and the Village People!

Perfect act for the man of the masses!


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Faramarz

A Picture Worth a Thousand Words!

by Faramarz on Thu May 12, 2011 06:56 AM PDT

Thanks Azadeh.

I am glad that the Hidden Imam made you laugh!

Ari,


Quite an impressive analysis!

And I thought that Mashaei was only saying, "Don't move! My zipper is stuck in the back of your jacket!"


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Azadeh Azad

LOL, Faramarz

by Azadeh Azad on Wed May 11, 2011 08:32 PM PDT

I like this part:

Rahbar had claimed that he had seen the Hidden One at the company gym and they even played a few rounds of racquetball!

Thanks for the laugh :-)

Azadeh


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Roozbeh_Gilani

"Loss of innocense", "Feminine complexity"

by Roozbeh_Gilani on Wed May 11, 2011 08:08 PM PDT

Ari's comments, based on his brilliant observation of the body language between the two men, made me think a little  about Doctor's  "we dont have Gays in Iran" comment at columbia, and all of a sudden the truth dawned upon me ........

"Personal business must yield to collective interest."


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Ari Siletz

Agree with Rea

by Ari Siletz on Wed May 11, 2011 07:00 PM PDT

Mashaei clearly looks like he's whispering something naughty in Ahmadimejad's ear. Ahamadinejad's repsone has a feminine complexity. He seems tempted by the proposal as suggested by the generous lean of the head into Mashaei, but reflected in his face is a worry about the long term consequences of surrendering to temptation. Open top  button on Ahmadinejad's shirt communicates restrained willingness. The sneak-up-from-behind dynamic creates a no-good-will-come-of-this tension and Mashaei's dark clothing against Ahmadinejad's light outfit says that loss of innocence is the issue. Great photo!


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Faramarz

More Reorg!

by Faramarz on Wed May 11, 2011 05:12 PM PDT

All-Iranians,

Thanks for reading and the supporting material.
It is so rich! Jen, Pari, the whole works!

MM,

iPhone has an App for that! It is for real!


If Ahmadi is smart, he would move to Florida and start a mega church/mosque and preach doomsday! There are enough dummies here who will buy into it!

Rea,

You are obsessed with the tall, dark and handsome boys from the old neighborhood! And you know, I admire you for that!

Here is Man Neveshtam Baroon by Simin Ghadiri!


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Rea

Kinky ;o)

by Rea on Wed May 11, 2011 05:06 PM PDT

Against my best judgement I find the foto sexy, Mashaei in particular.

PS. Faramarz, forgive the old pervert. ;o)


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MM

I wonder if the iphone4 made the contacts possible?

by MM on Wed May 11, 2011 03:49 PM PDT

I am just waiting for a televangelist to claim that he represents the 12th imam too.  So, we may think about ways we can differentiate here (remember the old commercial: is it live or is it memorex?)!

great read Faramaz.


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All-Iranians

Great read, Framarz

by All-Iranians on Wed May 11, 2011 02:36 PM PDT

 

سایت محافظه‌کار «ندای انقلاب» از نفوذ گسترده علی یعقوبی یکی از جن‌گیران محمود احمدی‌نژاد در سازمان صدا و سیما٬ برنامه‌ها و سریال‌های ساخته شده در این سازمان پرده برداشت.

علی یعقوبی یکی از دو جن‌گیر دولت احمدی‌نژاد است که چندی پیش در شهر قم از سوی نیرو‌های سپاه دستگیر شده است.

سایت «ندای انقلاب» روز سه‌شنبه (۲۰ اردیبهشت) در یادداشتی که در آن به زندگی و اعتقادات یعقوبی پرداخته٬ به نفوذ این جن‌گیر در میان برخی مدیران و برنامه‌سازان صدا و سیما اشاره کرده است.

این سایت نوشته که نتیجه ارتباط نزدیک برخی از برنامه‌سازان و مدیران سازمان صدا و سیما با علی یعقوبی٬ ساخت و پخش سریال‌هایی همچون «او یک فرشته است» و «اغما» است.

//digarban.com/node/1037


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Faramarz

Never a Dull Moment Here!

by Faramarz on Wed May 11, 2011 01:28 PM PDT

As always, I really enjoyed reading your comments and thanks for all the kind words!

Anahid,

I tried very hard to incorporate some romantic scenes into this blog, but couldn’t come up with one! BTW, you definitely qualify for a “Frequent Reader Program” which qualifies you for a free upgrade on the next blog!

Thank You Vildemose!

Red Wine Jaan,

I humbly accept to be a Knight in your court, the Great King Arthur of Paris!

Please call me Sir Lunch-a lot!

Mash Ghasem,

There will never be another Beatles. Thank you for the clip!

San Pellegrino and lime does the magic for me!

Roozbeh Aziz,

Thanks for the news item. One just can’t make these things up! These clowns are genuinely funny!

I am beginning to become a fan of this duo! Mashaei and Ahmadi are kind of like Laurel and Hardy, or Abbott and Costello of Iran!

Ari,

Ahmadi hosting SNL, what a great idea!

I bet you if they approach him in September when he comes to New York, he will accept it!

That little guy loves the spotlight!


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Ari Siletz

Fictional tale?

by Ari Siletz on Wed May 11, 2011 11:35 AM PDT

"Rahbar and Fox News immediately rejected the memo out-of-hand and questioned its authenticity." Faramarz has inside info on the suspected connection between Rahbar and Fox. Faramarz, can you confirm that Hannity has been writing Rahbar's speeches? How about rumors that SNL staff have been writing Ahamadinejad's. Any chance of seeing Tina Fey as Mashaei?


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Roozbeh_Gilani

تاخیر ۲۰ ساله در ظهور در صورت «شهادت» احمدی‌نژاد

Roozbeh_Gilani
Wed May 11, 2011 11:02 AM PDT

سایت «دولت‌یار» هشدار داد چنانچه اقدامات «ناجوانمردانه» حامیان علی خامنه‌ای علیه احمدی‌نژاد ادامه یابد، احتمال دارد وی از خدا طلب مرگ کرده و ظهور امام دوازدهم شیعیان را ۲۰ سال به تاخیر بیندازد.

این سایت با تاکید بر شعیب‌ابن صالح بودن محمود احمدی‌نژاد نوشته که نگران جان رئیس دولت دهم است و در صورتی که «دکتر از این همه ناجوانمردی برادران، آهی بکشد و مزد مظلومیت و استقامت خود را که‌‌ همان هنر مردان خدا (شهادت) است دریافت کند و ما بمانیم و خشم خدا و ۲۰ سالی تاخیر در ظهور.»

این سایت به طور مشخص از حسین شریعتمداری٬ علیرضا زاکانی٬ احمد توکلی٬ حسین طائب و مداحان با عنوان «برادران غیوری» نام برده که در حق احمدی‌نژاد «نا‌جوانمردی» می‌کنند.

یادداشت «دولت‌یار» پس از افزایش فشار‌ محافظه‌کاران حامی خامنه‌ای به تیم احمدی‌نژاد که از دو هفته گذشته آغاز شده٬ منتشر شده است.

با آغاز رسمی فعالیت‌های انتخاباتی تیم احمدی‌نژاد٬ محافظه‌کاران منتقد دولت وی نیز تلاش‌های دوباره خود برای برکناری برخی از نزدیکان رئیس دولت دهم از بدنه دولت را آغاز کرده‌اند.

همزمان با افزایش این فشار‌ها حامیان احمدی‌نژاد هم حملات تندی متوجه منتقدان و مخالفان خود می‌کنند

 

//digarban.com/node/887


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Mash Ghasem

...

by Mash Ghasem on Wed May 11, 2011 10:56 AM PDT

Getting better and better. What do you eat? or is it in your drink? must be the air...Me though Mehdi plays squash. Loved the ending, and what happend with the music. You have a demanding readership in here young man. As a token for all the smiles you bring us, from way back

 

Getting Better

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jk0dBZ1meio

 


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Red Wine

...

by Red Wine on Wed May 11, 2011 10:55 AM PDT

Sir,You are the Knight of Knights all the world of literature in this site.

 I made ​​a photo shop on these two ugly persons. next time i send it to you for using it in your blog.

 God bless the Grand Knight... Faramarz Khan .


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vildemose

Excellent...

by vildemose on Wed May 11, 2011 10:43 AM PDT

Excellent...


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Anahid Hojjati

Faramarz jan, how brilliant

by Anahid Hojjati on Wed May 11, 2011 10:11 AM PDT

Loved it. One of your best blogs.


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