The Final Walkthrough at Iranian.com!

Balatarin
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The Final Walkthrough at Iranian.com!
by Faramarz
01-May-2012
 

A Fictional Story about JJ Turning Iranian.com over to the New Owner

JJ had a meeting with the new Iranian.com’s owner to turn over all the critical documents and go through the final checklist, very similar to when you buy a house or a car.

“Saïd Jaan, we have been good friends for a while and you don’t know how much I appreciate you stepping in and taking over the operations. I have done this for 17 years and I think that I have gone as far as I could have with Iranian.com.” JJ seemed happy and relieved!

“Here are the spare keys, backup servers, system configs and service contracts with contact information. They are all here in this packet. But let me tell you a thing or two about the bloggers on the site and what I believe will be the key to your success.” Saïd was all ears.

“I have made a list of all the regular bloggers, with their interest areas, their hours of operation, their multiple id’s and I have put an asterisk next to their names if they have been banned before. The majority of them seem to have a life so they come and go. But there are a few who hang around the site at all hours of the day or night. So watch out for them.” Saïd seemed interested but not concerned.

“Let me give you a brief summary. The least trouble of the bloggers are the ones who solely blog about poetry, literature or cooking recipes. They are your A+ students, never cause trouble, sit in the front row and don’t chew gums in the class; model citizens! On the other hand, the trouble makers are some of the social and political bloggers. They bring in the hits and the endless comments, but you have to play them smart. Once in a while you have to ban them, but they come back under another user name. Just pretend that you don’t know anything about it.” JJ paused for a second and saw the concerned look on Saïd’s face.

“There is also the “Dear JJ Blog” which is something like a “Dear John Letter!” You will get that here and there from people who threaten to leave if things are not done their way. But don’t worry, they come back after a while pretending that nothing has happened!”

“What a scene!” Saïd murmured to himself.

“Now, the blogs are like the basic food types. You got the protein, the carbohydrates and the vegetables. Do you follow me so far?” Saïd looked puzzled.

“The blogs about the imminent war, Israeli airstrikes and related topic are your protein. You get them daily and most topics somehow end there. That’s your Golden Goose! Cherish them with your life. Every day there is new one by somebody and the bloggers will be all over them. Then there is Shah/Mosaddegh blogs. That’s your carbohydrate. There is nothing new there but the hits will be in the thousands and the comments last for more than a month. Keep an eye on this one. Put it on the front page immediately and watch the hits come home to Papa! Finally there is NIAC/MEK stuff. That’s your vegetables. Once a week you will get something from Trita or Rajavi. Again lots of hits and lots of comments. This one is like watching Esteghlal vs. Perspolis or Barcelona vs. Real Madrid. There is no right or wrong, it is all about the color of the jersey. Just stand back and watch the car crash!” Saïd definitely looked concerned.

“But there are the fun ones too like the Regime military might, all the Islamic teachings by the clergy and the speeches by the high ranking members of the Regime. But the most fun are the clips about half-naked Iranian model-wannabes, dancers or singers. Those get a lot of attention and comments. But the beauty of it is that nobody will blame you for posting them, they blame each other for commenting about them!”

“You look worried Saïd. Are you sure that you still want to do this?

Tell you what. What don’t you give it a shot for 30 days and let’s have a talk then.”

Here is Roya-ye-Shabaneh by Saeed Shayesteh

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=su5c6f4ePQU

Balatarin
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more from Faramarz
 
Dr. Mohandes

AO aziz

by Dr. Mohandes on Wed May 02, 2012 08:46 PM PDT

That is good actually. You are giving him something to focus on, and kinda keeping in on his toes...in a good way...so those toes can never feel any stress!

I am sure VPK has been having a lot on his mind..

Through an official agreement signed between Faramarz and VPK, which i bore witness to, The author of this blog will perform the official duties of making bad and unwelcomed comments on your future blogs.

P.S. i don't know what it is , but i am already getting feeling that Mr. AMIN shows more receptivity to Faramarz's ideas than the rest. Hmm...don't know...weird...ya know...

Faramarz pepsi gerefteh?...:)


  •  
عموجان

WTF is this picture

by عموجان on Wed May 02, 2012 05:16 PM PDT

This remind me of this morning, while shaving I cut myself. 

we hope that dosen't happend to Amin when he is shaving in mornings before checking what people saying on Iranian.com

already miss JJ 

but Change always is good. 


  •  
Hafez for Beginners

interesting

by Hafez for Beginners on Wed May 02, 2012 02:29 PM PDT

Faramarz: Interesting analogy, with the fine China etc. Thanks.


  •  
Anonymous Observer

TS-9 Gerami

by Anonymous Observer on Wed May 02, 2012 01:58 PM PDT

That artcile is fascinating.  I have always thought (my personal opinion) that hats and that sort of thing create a cocoon like environment that provide a sense of security for those who wear them.  The same goes for chador and headscarfves (don't mean that forcing them upon people is a good thing), and also the other variation of the hat: the hoodie.   


  •  
Anonymous Observer

DM jaan

by Anonymous Observer on Wed May 02, 2012 03:32 PM PDT

I think that said's first order of business when he takes over will be to block me.

Hey, it'll make VPK happy.  He'll finally be able to get a good night's rest.  Poor guy loses sleep every time I write a blog.  He was up at 3:53 am commenting on my last blog.  


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Faramarz

Afsaneh

by Faramarz on Wed May 02, 2012 11:53 AM PDT

The arts and culture bloggers are like the fine china and silverware that sit quietly and patiently on the table and make the three food types more appealing, no matter who the chef is!


  •  
Hafez for Beginners

ARTS vs. 3 Food Types

by Hafez for Beginners on Wed May 02, 2012 10:00 AM PDT

One moment Faramarz was mentioning the Arts Bloggers (Poetry, Cooking, Literature in general) as trouble-free model students - the next, he leaves them out completely from the  clever "protein, carbohydrates, vegetables" analogy.


Remember Faramarz jan: the Arts Bloggers aren't just passive goody-two-shoes getting A+. Think of it this way 700 years later, are people talking about "HAFEZ" or the politician-de-jour of  his day, say, "Shah Shoja"?  It's a very subtle reality of human history. Do we talk of Michaelangelo or the Pope or leader in power in his day? Choosing to put your energy into enduring realities of human history is a conscious, elected choice ... just thought to mention.

I was disappointed the Arts Bloggers were left out of the 3 staple foods - "where did the Arts go" as I read  the funny food analogies -  otherwise, pretty funny stuff! 

 

 


  •  
Dr. Mohandes

LOL!

by Dr. Mohandes on Wed May 02, 2012 09:16 AM PDT

AO fires the first shot :)

dude. You wasted no time in "welcoming" the Guy in stuyle.

Saeed:

Like you have been told before many times, you are in for the wildest ride of your life. So saddle up that baby and prepare to raaayyyyd. Heeeehaaaa!

 


  •  
Truthseeker9

Au contraire my dear AO

by Truthseeker9 on Wed May 02, 2012 07:30 AM PDT

//news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/8074663.stm

Mr Swan says it is partly about personal style, but also "there's an element of a psychological safety blanket as well, the more you cover your head the more of a wall you build up from the rest of society".


  •  
Anonymous Observer

So....what's with the hat Said?

by Anonymous Observer on Wed May 02, 2012 07:08 AM PDT

You would assume that the site's new owner would introduce himself wearing a more appropriate attire.  

Sorry dude, but you look just like the guy who was trying to sell me fake Prada handbags on W. 77th Street a couple of days ago.

Or perhaps that was in fact you.  Perhaps that's IC's new fundraising technique?!! 


  •  
Faramarz

And the Band Plays on!

by Faramarz on Wed May 02, 2012 06:30 AM PDT

Dear valued friends,

As always, your wit and humor brightens my day.

 

Dear Said,

Welcome aboard and hang on to your hat!


  •  
Soosan Khanoom

Said

by Soosan Khanoom on Wed May 02, 2012 06:03 AM PDT

It's good to see that you have a sense of humor.  That is a great thing...  an A plus... 

Welcome abroad and I wish you the best of luck in whichever goal you have for the iranian.com. 

: ) 


  •  
مآمور

facebook just got sold

by مآمور on Tue May 01, 2012 10:43 PM PDT

how many of u guys give a hod if that happened??

this is a social networking site, which actually has been around longer than fb, the owner's name, nationality, personal and political interests, life style,,,,, dont have any effect on the users!! his/her management does, making the site more vibrant and easy to use! tools for better writing.......do affect the users.

I have no clue who Mr Amin is and I dont need to have one unless I decide to buy some shares in his social network site!!

I wear an Omega watch


  •  
yolanda

.............

by yolanda on Tue May 01, 2012 10:09 PM PDT

Great observation and funny realistic fiction!

The kids in your blog photo look Indonesian to me!


  •  
Saïd Amin

*LOL*

by Saïd Amin on Tue May 01, 2012 09:25 PM PDT

Too funny Faramarz. True story here. Only a few short hours after Jahanshah's "googbye" blog, I received a very aggressive email from a stranger. He offered to give me IDC related business advice, while at the same time threatning me and telling me to go f*** myself. Grrrrrreat.

"You look worried Saïd. Are you sure that you still want to do this?"

You're on to something Faramarz. Hmmm... =)


  •  
Shazde Asdola Mirza

100% safe and secure

by Shazde Asdola Mirza on Tue May 01, 2012 06:43 PM PDT

Jenab All-Iranian:

Last time someone said that I was 100% safe and secure ... I lost 10 grams of foreskin and a whole lot of blood.


  •  
All-Iranians

Friendly Reminders

by All-Iranians on Tue May 01, 2012 06:38 PM PDT

Jenab Faramarz  Your conclusion is "Here is Roya-ye-Shabaneh by Saeed Shayesteh" . Is that a hint how Mr Amin correctly edit his first name as Saeed?

Jenab Shazde  Please do not worry. You are 100% safe and secure!


  •  
aynak

فرامرز با با هنوز نیومده فراریش نده

aynak
Wed May 02, 2012 06:59 AM PDT

 

لااقل بگذار ماه  عسل  بگذره بعد.  من خودم متنظر بودم که
بلاگ خداحافظی جهان شاه از صفه اول بیرون بیاد بعد.  ولی برخی از اهالی از
قرار معلوم خواسنتد گربه هرو دم حجله بکشند و تو همون بلاگ خداحافظی از
جناب امین هم انتظارات مشروع و نامشروع خودشون مطرح کردند ...  بابا به 
احترام J.J هم که شده لااقل بزارید خداحافظی اول تموم بشه.   یاد یک تاتر
افتادم که هنوز طرف نمرده بود داشتند سر میراث دعوا میکردند. (دور از جون )

در ضمن خودمنویم عجب نمک نشناس هایی بودند هم این این
جناب Fred و هم جناب Trita .  اولی هر روز quota'sh بر قرار بود نگفت یک
بگم دستت درد نکنه.   دومی هم که هرچه نوشت یک راست رفت در مقالات.   او هم
فکر نمی کند تشکر کنه.   به اینها می گن قدر شناس.

در ضمن شخصا یکی دو هفته آینده به یاد کلاس دوم  دبستان که معلم جدید وسط
سال اومد و ما چند روزی دست بسینه رو نیمکت می نشستیم و خودمون رو مودب
جلوه میدادیم سعی بر این داریم که امین خان رو نهراسونیم --فعلا. :)

 

 

 

 


  •  
divaneh

Thanks for the round up Faramarz

by divaneh on Tue May 01, 2012 06:08 PM PDT

Very true specially the Shah-Mosadegh eternal quarrel that seems to go round the circle more orderly than the earth rotates round the sun (now don't tell me earth's path is not circular).


  •  
Soosan Khanoom

love your funny senses Faramrz !!

by Soosan Khanoom on Tue May 01, 2012 05:58 PM PDT

I told you before and I am telling you again ;  you should become an standup comedian.  The sky's the limit !

: ) 


  •  
Anahid Hojjati

Very Funny Faramarz

by Anahid Hojjati on Tue May 01, 2012 05:59 PM PDT

My impression of Mr. Amin is that he is one of my favorite bloggers already. Actually, this is just a guess and it is good to say something nice about new guy any way.


  •  
Soosan Khanoom

سعید خان مگه مغز خر خوردی که این سایت را خریدی ؟

Soosan Khanoom
Tue May 01, 2012 05:55 PM PDT

Shazdeh is right 

#4  He is not as smart as he thinks he is, because he is now stuck with us!  

haha ....  

 


  •  
Shazde Asdola Mirza

Jenab All-Iranian: I was scared to come to your Khatneh blog ...

by Shazde Asdola Mirza on Tue May 01, 2012 05:55 PM PDT

... because you never know what happens at a place where there is so much cutting going on!


  •  
All-Iranians

Thanks

by All-Iranians on Tue May 01, 2012 05:42 PM PDT

Jenab Faramarz  Thank you for the blog, which is all true.

Jenab Shazde Thank you for the headline of your comment referring to Khatneh blog!


  •  
Shazde Asdola Mirza

Faramarz jan: did you switch the picture with the Khatneh blog?

by Shazde Asdola Mirza on Tue May 01, 2012 05:37 PM PDT

Well, to tell you the truth, my impression of this new Mr. Said Amin, so far is that:

1. He is a very smart guy, because he finds value in marginal ethnic websites and builds them up;

2. He is a very smart guy, because he has been a member of IC for two years, but hasn't posted a blog nor a comment;

3. He is a very smart guy, and knows that sex sells, and bored guys are ready to spend money to get hitched, through the Dating sites.

4. He is not as smart as he thinks he is, because he is now stuck with us!


  •