Faramarz
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A Gathering of Men
27-Apr-2012
A short story about a reunion of five college friends; me and my buddies.
Warning: This story like my other blogs may not be suitable for everyone’s taste, so please out of respect for the freedom of speech and your moral values read something else instead. This way we will not get into back and forths and psychobabble in the comments section.
My college friends and I have been talking about a reunion for many years but for one reason or another we were not able to do it until a year ago when we finally got together for 2 days in Vegas. We had to do it during the week because Khosro needed to tell his wife that he was on a business trip! We got a 2-bedroom suite at a hotel and spent most of the time talking, hanging out by the pool and going to the buffets. What was really interesting about our conversations was the state of our romances and relationships with women. Here is a summary.
Sina was a graduate student when the rest of us landed on the campus in the great US of A. He took us under his wings and told us what courses to take and which professors to avoid. He used to pack us in his ’66 Mustang and take us to the billiard hall to play snookers. He was married to a beautiful blond from the Midwest. He had taught her how to speak Farsi, make Tahdig and serve tea properly. He was not political or anti-Shah by conviction but out of necessity. He used to have meetings at his house where the Marxists would gather and read books and strategize. He gave us the protection that we needed from the leftists and the Islamist who wanted to convert everyone to their way of thinking and as the result we were able to live our college lives the way the Americans did.
Sina and his wife got a divorce as soon as their kids left the house and went to college. She really didn’t give a good reason why she wanted to leave him. She just wanted to explore life on her own. She got into exercise and in a matter of months became an instructor of one of these trendy stuff. They had a friendly separation and split everything down the middle. Their kids are cool with it and try to spend the holidays equally with them. Sina is now having an affair with one of his neighbors!
Then there is Khosro. He was the odd one in college. He is a shy and quiet guy from one of the small towns in Iran and to this day still speaks English with a distinct accent. He got married for the Green Card and got a divorce after his drunken wife punched him in public! He married another blond and is still married to her. He doesn’t have a relationship with his wife and they try to stay out of each other’s way until their kid is grown and out of the house. He is into oral sex and giving pleasure to women anyway he can.
While we were in Vegas he showed us the pictures and the text messages from these lovely, church-going, god-loving married women from the heartlands of America that wanted to mix food and sex! Talk about asking him to do things with his tongue! I didn’t know that people in Kansas were like that!
Bobak is the one who married the Brazilian. He was the most handsome of our group. Right after school, he got a high profile job in New York and moved there. He met a beautiful Brazilian and married her when everybody was doing the Lambada. His motto in life was that he was going to marry a woman who was going to give everyone a hard on! Well she was exactly that; a high-maintenance, attention seeking, gorgeous and sexy Latina that thought that she was entitled to everything in life. She also refused to ever drive a Japanese car!
She never worked a day in her life and still wanted to go to clubs on Saturday nights and dance the night away. Bobak finally left her after the kids went away. He gave her the house and they agreed to a reasonable financial arrangement. He said that even his kids were surprised at how he tolerated her. Bobak is now dating his secretary.
Then there is Behzad who I have written about before. He is the one who after kicking the tires for many years finally went to Iran and married the trophy wife from north of Tehran; the kind with highlighted hair, pulled-back scarf and tight monteau. He has been kicked out of the master bedroom and sleeps in the guest room, takes showers at work, is both a mom and a dad to their daughter, has not had sex in the 21st century, and is now an accomplished outdoors cook because his wife doesn’t let him mess up the kitchen!
He was laid off last year after many years of loyal work at Corporate America but got a nice package and is ok for the time being. The biggest surprise is that his wife finally got a job as a pharmaceutical drug rep. and is making good money, but so far she has not made any contributions to the household finances. Her money is hers, his money is theirs! After all, it’s a man’s job to provide for his family!
And then there is me!
Here is Mesl-e-Goli by Ali Danial
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Thank you too Faramarz
by Dr. Mohandes on Sat Apr 28, 2012 12:06 PM PDTWe would have preferred the individual, one-on-one approach...but i guess you are righ, we should save the breats...i mean the trees.
you guys will have to do it without me, for obvious reasons. But if i were there and if i had to pick a mask, i would pick the Q mask:)
A Collective Thank You and a Group Hug!
by Faramarz on Sat Apr 28, 2012 11:49 AM PDTThank you dear friends for your support and good attitude.
I was going to thank you individually and say a word or two, but let's save some trees and reduce our carbon footprint.
The reunion is an idea whose time has come. May I suggest that we treat it like the Halloween and come in masks and dressed as our avatars.
Fanoos,
Women like you give women a good name! Please keep it up. Your chin that is!
mr mohamad ala: i'd love to come to your re union.
by mousa67 on Sat Apr 28, 2012 11:12 AM PDTi'll bring some home made felafel, made by my aunti golda herself. just email me the address and date.
Breast Maintenance You say?...
by Dr. Mohandes on Sat Apr 28, 2012 10:36 AM PDTMadam Iron Breast...I mean Dearest fanoos:)
I sure would like to pay you and your "honarjoos" or joojoos a visit someday. I would really appreciate it if you can give me and faramarz one of your, ehem, special deals:)
Thank you for that vivid and matter-of-factly description of one of the most functionally crucial organs in a female's body! made my night...maybe even my rest of the week.
Maybe,hopefully i will be at the receivieng end of one those friendly slaps that you are so famous for! that is of course if faramarz would not beat me to it. Perhaps for now i can just settle for eating a piece of those watermelons that you so kindly too the time to dismantle?
Nothing beats the real thing! bring'em right on big mama!
Dr. M., the good news is that ...
by fanoos on Sat Apr 28, 2012 10:16 AM PDTI have a belly dancing studio right in Atlanta, with many young and beautiful international students who can dance the night away on you and Faramarz, the rest of your friends here. I should also remind you that I have kept my good figures over the years. My breasts have gone on and off saggy several times but I have always done lifting and enactments, etc. I could probably slap anybody silly with them! I have smashed watermelons with them before and won prizes! Oh yeah baby!
Fanoos
by Dr. Mohandes on Sat Apr 28, 2012 10:05 AM PDTIs there a newer version of you who can belly dance us into the night?:)
I always wondered when those guys died rather young...just keeeedeeeeng:)
Why can't women join this gathering of yours?
by fanoos on Sat Apr 28, 2012 09:48 AM PDTWhat are we? Chopped livers! I want to attend your reunion in Vegas. I want to show you where I used to perform belly dancing in the 60's when Frank, Dean, and Sammy performed. The good old days!
Dr.Ala
by Dr. Mohandes on Sat Apr 28, 2012 09:36 AM PDTAre you coming to town? Please call me when you get here. It is gonna be my treat this time.
Farfromheaven2002
Yeah...well. That is how it goes i guess. Look man, read some comic books or something, get these relationshippy thoughts out of your head.
Reunions are great.
by Mohammad Ala on Sat Apr 28, 2012 09:00 AM PDTI agree with one poster that there should be IC members’ reunion(s). I have met several IC members and even travelled 1000s of miles to meet them. I will have Iranian buffet lunch soon with three IC members in Tehran.
Today's quote
by Farfromheaven2002 on Sat Apr 28, 2012 07:33 AM PDTSomeone who lives with another person through a social union or legal contract has only two options: He/she wants to stay in a relationship or he/she does not...
Today’s quote:
“My favorite short and easy-to-read book: The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz, starting from page 25.”
Beer Bottle Breaking IC user!
by Dr. Mohandes on Sat Apr 28, 2012 05:29 AM PDTI am so sorry but i am not following you.
You want to live with a person or you do not. If you like then feeding an extra mouth should be totally fine considering there are only limited unemployed Iranian house wife/husband exist outside Iran. There are lots in people's mind and I honestly believe an additional expense can be ignored easily.
Please write in Farsi becaus i really have no idea what you are getting at.
The idea of starting a Daily column fits your vision and opinions on relationships and all the related issues perfectly. So you are the right man/woman for the job.
You can talk to Faramarz about it. He is the Blog manager on this site:))
Funny you.
by Farfromheaven2002 on Sat Apr 28, 2012 04:52 AM PDTI really don't think such a thing exists: "Mikhad mofti mano bebareh...lalalalaly lalalaly lay"
You want to live with a person or you do not. If you like then feeding an extra mouth should be totally fine considering there are only limited unemployed Iranian house wife/husband exist outside Iran. There are lots in people's mind and I honestly believe an additional expense can be ignored easily.
I think you should generate a Dr. Phill.. based on your philosophy on the selection of your user name. I tried to stay modest and not laugh at "breaking and getting mad..", but I couldn't. Even though it reminded me the things that I broke so far in my life including beer bottles, chairs, human skulls, legs, noses and a finger.
"Everyone will give more when they feel appreciated."
No Safe Place, Deborah Ellis
Farfromheaven2002
by Dr. Mohandes on Sat Apr 28, 2012 02:26 AM PDTHave you heard that new song by Shila...
Mikhad mofti mano bebareh...lalalalaly lalalaly lay?
can you find an mp3 file somewhere online for me? the song have been stuck in my head all day long. I just did not get the connection. I was there at the Toobkhooneh square and i kept hearing this song in my head.
Oh. i enjoyed reading your comment by the way. Without getting mad and breaking anything, would you please start a Dr.Philiranian column here on this site?
Conclusions like a movie?
by Farfromheaven2002 on Fri Apr 27, 2012 08:16 PM PDTYou couldn’t have survived if you didn’t have that tongue considering your English is above perfect.
I didn’t get the final message. I assume it was like a movie that everyone has to finalize a message. OK. This is mine:
There are lots of men and women who get along, and they have to sacrifice. Sex is not always a priority for all. Also, one’s life to her wife or his husband does not always stay romantic. They stay as long as they can live with each other “happily”. What’s wrong to have a nice housemate that you can tell everything her/him everything you have in your mind to ease mental pressure? Lots of people prefer to play handball these days because they are not mentally capable of handling to risk someone’s life (maybe an infant) in danger to HIV.
On the other hand, I really think there are only limited numbers of men or women (outside Iran) who can tolerate a cheating partner. An ordinary wife or husband can discover a cheating partner simply by looking at his/her eyes. Most cheaters show abnormality in their own behavior because they feel guilty or not at ease; as a result, they become too nice or too ugly.
Good luck to lucky bastards who can handle cheating! Divorce is totally recommended to those who are able to handle and has a great sense of prediction of a happier life. People's priorities depend on many factors especially age.
I think everyone deserves to stay happy, and do whatever to keep him permanently happy.
You don't have to try Faramarz. There is always a smile in someone's life who is able to make other to smile.
"Everyone will give more when they feel appreciated."
No Safe Place, Deborah Ellis
Faramarz
by Oon Yaroo on Fri Apr 27, 2012 07:36 PM PDTWhy don't you set up an IC reunion in Vegas? I'll go!
Common problems
by divaneh on Fri Apr 27, 2012 05:24 PM PDTIt seems like the wife problem is very common. A year ago I went to visit a friend in another city and in the morning found him sleeping on the floor of the master bedroom. When I asked him it came clear that his wife did not want my friend to sleep on the bed.
By the way I used to have a friend who did the same stuff as Khosro with Mars bars, dipping them before eating them.
Thanks for the good read Faramarz. I agree with DM and think you should become a marriage consultant. I mean pre-marriage consultant.
mothers, wives and daughters
by Shazde Asdola Mirza on Fri Apr 27, 2012 05:30 PM PDTMothers, wives and daughters are bunched up with the children, and collectively called "Bache ha", in rural Iran.
So, if you ever get to revisit the villiage of Abargho, or the hamlet of Sedeh ... dear Faramarz ... and someone asks: (how are your "Bache ha" = kids?); they really mean to politely inquire as how all the "weak" members of your family doing.
Now, the real problem of the past 50 years, in terms of family life, is the so called: "artificial power inversion", or API (not be mixed up with the American Petroleum Institute).
API is like trying to make water float over oil, or ice stay under water, or women and children take over the family. It is unnatural, it is unhealthy, and it is doomed to fail.
The 50,000 year old tradition of human culture has been for 99.9% of its duration, based on the supremecy of penis (aka Phallocracy). The recent artificially induced supremecy of pussy (aka Pussyocracy) is just about destroying the entire order and strenght of Western civilization ... LOL
Shazde Jaan
by Faramarz on Fri Apr 27, 2012 03:31 PM PDTI am trying to keep this rated PG but since you asked.
1. Khosro is walking a fine line to make sure that his wife does not do what he is doing. So he is careful not to get caught in a lie.
2. Sina’s neighbor is married and likes to play tennis!
3. Removing a chocolate-coated almond with your tongue is a fetish, I suppose!
4. Bobak was always proud of his accomplishments and would challenge you no matter what. This was his way of saying I am secure and confidant.
5. Behzad is a classic zan-zaleel. I didn’t know that until saw him around his mother.
Thanks Faramarz jan: I am already feeling much better ;-)
by Shazde Asdola Mirza on Fri Apr 27, 2012 03:01 PM PDTCan you please provide a couple of clarifications?
1. "We had to do it during the week because Khosro needed to tell his wife that he was on a business trip!"
Isn't that contradictory to your description of Khosro's current marriage: "He doesn’t have a relationship with his wife and they try to stay out of each other’s way"
2. "Sina is now having an affair with one of his neighbors!"
Would that be female neighbor or a male one? Is s/he married?
3. "Khosro ... is into oral sex and giving pleasure to women anyway he can. While we were in Vegas he showed us the pictures ... to mix food and sex!"
Technically, that ain't oral ... more like food fetish - no?
4. "Bobak is the one who ... was going to marry a woman who was going to give everyone a hard on!"
Good bless his soul ... but why?
5. "Behzad ... has been kicked out of the master bedroom and sleeps in the guest room, takes showers at work, is both a mom and a dad to their daughter, has not had sex in the 21st century ..."
That's too general ... you have to be more specific!
PS: sorry, just killing some time till my "girl friend like experience" arrives!
el Doctor
by Faramarz on Fri Apr 27, 2012 12:35 PM PDTI haven't been saddled yet!
Do you think that Raul is trying to come out of "Commode!"
Becareful Now!
by Dr. Mohandes on Fri Apr 27, 2012 12:23 PM PDTThe lady who hates it when men start talking about women like this, to the point that she gets out of control starts writing "articles" till the cows come home, is around...i can seeeee her...helloooo...
On a second thought, should we take them out for drink and then start the show?
Raul
by Faramarz on Fri Apr 27, 2012 11:59 AM PDTShe is not bad at all.
I can definitely see some possibility for some possybility! If you get my drift.
Yeah! Right.
by Dr. Mohandes on Fri Apr 27, 2012 10:45 AM PDTLet me introduce you to Marry and Angela.
That is as far as my ideas go. Right and Left:))))))))))))))))
Faramarz:
by Raoul1955 on Fri Apr 27, 2012 08:38 AM PDTAre we to believe that you are one of those dancing women in the video?
Next Reunion in Dubai!
by Faramarz on Fri Apr 27, 2012 08:19 AM PDTDoctor Jaan,
I think that I will add you to our reunion list. You have some very good ideas and can fit right in with the boys!
Get Married!
by Dr. Mohandes on Fri Apr 27, 2012 07:31 AM PDTWhat a subtle and efffective way to encourage men to ger married. If there ever was an Oscar award for this, I would have definitely nominate you.
Hey. speaking of not having sex in the 21st century...Can you and I join behzad for a drink in dubai or istanbul sometime and come up with possible solutions?:)