Faramarz

Parthianshot91:

"Virgins? 72 virgins? What orifice was determined and with what will and what was behind it*? "

Ferferezi, why would I need a saddle? Hmmm?

"Stuff happens and some, one way or another, get stuffed"

*reference of inspiration - Parthianshot91's signature line:

"They are not afraid of the ideology alone, but of the detemination and will of the men behind it" 

Prof. Ferry: back home around Dallaho

we actually might still have a few horses left. How to get them to the ranch? Tis, the question.

I,  out of goodness of my heart and lungs also volunteer for the Cannabis duty, I could help with Quality Control. btw, we shouldn't accept Mel Gibson, he's a closet Nazi, or Nazi Lite , whatever you want to call it.

On the "serious"side, there should be some kind of Grant money, somewhere for internet based multi-cultural non-profits. All you need is a group of people with experinece in Grant writing for non-profit work. 

Dear Oktaby

شما درست می فرمایید ولی انتظار داشتی با انگشت کمکش کنه؟

handler

of the horse is helping the rider properly and without any unnecessary contact or TSA style groping, while the other seems to be on the guard for any mishaps. It seems even the cameraman is careful with the viewing angle. Do ranch employees (including Marcom personnel) go through various sensitivity & customer service trainings?

Oktaby

Rea, Therapeutic Cannibals at the Ranch!

هدف ما جالب رضایت شماست!

There are naked cannibals running around with sharp spears to heal the wounds

Will there be a cannabis plantation on that ranch ?

Therapeutic use strictly. ;o)

If yes, I volunteer to take care of it.

Anonymous jaan

چی‌ میگی‌ بابا، این سرگرد به اسب‌های من جفتک نزنه شانس آوردیم

نمیشناسیش مگه؟

Mehrdad

باوفا جان این اسب‌های شما جفتک هم میندازن؟

اگه جفتک خوب میزنن شاید دوباره به این سرمایه‌دار فلک زده پیشنهاد بدیم سرگرد رو سوار اسب شما کنیم و همینطور اتفاقی یک جفتک بزنه پرتش کنه پایین بعدش هم که افتاد ۲ سه تا جفتک دیگه همچین بزنه که فک و دندون هاش پاک خورد و خاک شیر شن!

جهانشاه جان رو هم باید خودت راضی‌ کنی‌ و الاه دوباره آبرو ریزی می‌کنه و این دفعه دیگه میرن از دستش شکایت میکنند! 

Everything is sacred

No matter what you say Anahid

I am still against your investment in IC because I want to see naked women getting on donkeys and horses and god willing on Bavafa and me hopefully. I also would like to read blogs about all types of breasts including the Banana shape ones. And no, I do not wish to see more videos of dancing men in IC, in fact there should be reduction in such awful and offensive videos.

Divaneh, why are you against my investment in IC?

That is not nice to say that IC should not accept my investment. Is something wrong with my money besides that it will be borrowed?

Anonymouse Jaan, thanks for your informative response

Dear Anonymouse, as always, I could depend on you. You showed your open ways by providing  good information. It will be exciting to see the new IC. I agree with you about the Canada part but maybe this has operational reasons, like software would have to be too complex in order to delete individual comments. Maybe IC can address this issue at a later date. 

Dear cousin Farmarz: I ditched the horses

تو به من نگفتی مشتریها مون اینها خواهند بود!!!  با این جور مشتریها خودم، چشمم کور دندم نرم، پاهام شل، خودم سواری میدم

Love your stories, keep them coming 

Mehrdad

Too Early in the Day to Laugh so Hard!

Parthian,
I am sorry that I left you on the bench. Start warming up man. You'll be starting the next match my friend!

Monda,
Thank you. I hope you feel better. Have someone else cook for you! That's the medicine!

Anonymouse Jaan,
Pushing Sargord off the plane in the middle of Pacific is a great idea. But Sargord has already addressed that!

Here is what he said, "When I applied to become a US Marine in 1980, they took me to Camp Pendleton, miles from the shore and after water boarding me 10 times, left me by myself! However, I swam back to safety by grabbing the fins of a white Australian shark!"

Anahid,
Great funny ideas!

JJ is looking for silent partners and you are everything but that. But changes are on the way!
Thanks for supporting my cheesy stuff! The only pictures of naked men on horses that I have are those of Geronimo fighting the cowboys!

Divaneh Jaan,
Your US Army Interview Blog triggered this business idea in my head. I am glad that you enjoyed it.

I'll be the first customer myself

If that picture is an example of the quality of wives in this resort then I will be the first customer myself. What a fantastic idea you genius entrepreneurial star. Would you mind if you post a pic of my other two wives as I would like to know them better before marriage.

With circumcision there is no need to worry. They have now found a missing page of the Quran in Syria that says circumcision is not necessary if the owner of the prick can pay the dieh to the Akhonds. That means we need an Akhond but I think we have a Khamenei in the site. We also have a Samad Agha that can help the ladies in the same way as that lucky bastard.

Thanks for the good laughs genius and Happy New Year.

p.s. Please do not accept Anahid's investment.

Anahid jaan i.com is a labor o love & investments r funny money!

If i.com were to be offered publicly I'd estimate it to be about $1/share and I'd invest too but that "option" is not yet available!  I'd buy about 500 shares and I think on average each person would buy about 100 shares.

The "options" that will be available are given in a cloak of secrecy in this interview! I think the major changes will be to allow us to post our own photo essays or at least allow us to post the photos and link them to our own blogs which will be really good.  The other major change may be to allow us to control comments in our own blogs, but I think for starters JJJ will allow only "yes" or "no" to allow comments in our blogs.  So we can either have or not have comments but not the ability to control individual comments which is really SUCKS to Canada!

As for cheezy poems and pictures and erotica-ish blogs and articles, well they are here to stay.  Where else can you get such ideas?!  All of these ideas are in our heads and the only place we can post them is here!  So we should be happy about them otherwise this would be a dull place.

Everything is sacred

Anonymouse jan, maybe you can tell us

JJ is not telling us much but being the azadeh and open person that you are, maybe you can tell us the story. I read in one comment that IC management is changing and then I read about new investors. Can you tell us more? And also when you talk about investors in i.com, what is the level of investment. If it is not much, maybe I can use some money from home equity and invest in i.com if the level is low enough. Obviously, my investment will come with many conditions such as need for regular videos of dancing men and no more yuck, pff blogs, no more naked women getting on donkeys and no more stupid poems from losers like Louie Louie and no more stupid comment about banana shaped breast and no more featuring people' s poems and stories and then complaining about their command of language and..OMG, the list is getting too long. How much investment do I have to make for all the above issues to be resolved?

Faramarz jaan the Dude Ranch can't advertise on i.com!

Just like military (has there been any other Military other than US wanting to advertise on i.com? :-) can't advertise but can blog for free, the massage parlors and spas can't advertise either!  Maybe the solution would be to have a separate tab for "Military" ads and blogs and another tab for "Experimental" ads and blogs!  The main page will continue to have only generic ads!

The problems are not due to lack of "investments", they are due to JJJ dismissing them left and right!  I've not only seen the books I've also seen the investors!

Just this week JJJ dismissed an investor who was willing to not only invest a lot of money in i.com but also pay a lot of bonus and benefits to JJJ if he'd agree to allow Bavafa to take Sargord for a ride in his plane and accidentally dislodge him mid-air into the ocean about a mile off the coast so he can swim back to the beach!

Unfortunately JJJ is still living in his head the dot com boom of the 90s and thinking i.com website will make him rich one day no matter what he does!  I for one am grateful and just hope the website remains and improves over time for all of us to enjoy and communicate, with or without the ads!  

Everything is sacred

Very Funny Faramarz!

Namiri elaahi : )

(my daughter doesn't know why i'm visiting funny blogs today when hysterically laughing causes my nonstop coughs!)

Great, but you left me out

  Lots of accounts on IC are fake and obviously made for trolling, like dirty angel and virgin goth.

 --------------------------------------------------------------

"They are not afraid of the ideology alone, but of the detemination and will of the men behind it"

On the First Day of Christmas

On the First Day of Christmas My Dear Friends Said to Me!

Thanks dear friends for reading the blog and support the concept of a Ranch and a Resort to make IC financially independent from the advertisers!

In my next blog, I will go back to writing about the usual lustful encounter with another independently-minded beauty with all the details!

با اجازه فرامرز خان عزیز

قابل توجه اعضای محترم حزب خران:

مصاحبه شماره 2:

 : من شوهر با اين شرايط ميخوام

یه روز یه پیرزن بیوه‌ی 70 ساله تصمیم میگیره که دوباره ازدواج کنه، واسه
همین یه آگهی ازدواج می‌زنه توی روزنامه و توش مینویسه که: “به یک شوهر با
ویژگیهای زیر نیازمندیم: هم سن و سال خودم باشه، کتکم نزنه، زیاد دور و برِ
من چرخ نزنه، و این که بتونه توی.... من رو ارضا کنه!”

2 روزبعد صدای زنگ در خونه‌ی پیرزنه بلند میشه، پیرزن میره و در رو باز میکنه و
پشت در، یه مرد با موهای خاکستری رو میبینه که رو ویلچر نشسته و دست و پا
نداره! پیرزن می‌پرسه: “واسه آگهی من تشریف آوردید؟ واقعآ از من انتظار
ندارید که قبولتون کنم، دارید؟” پیرمرد میگه: “آره واسه آگهی اومدم” پیرزن
یا پوزخند جواب میده: “خودت رو نگاه کن، تو پا نداری!” پیرمرد جواب میده:
“بنابراین نمی‌تونم دور و برت چرخ بزنم!” پیرزن میگه: “تو
دست هم نداری!” پیرمرد دوباره لبخند میزنه و میگه: “بنابراین هیچ وقت نمی
تونم کتکت بزنم!” پیرزن ابرویی
بالا میندازه و میگه: “ببینم می‌تونی من رو ارضا کنی؟” پیرمرد پشت میزنه
به ویلچر و یه لبخند بزرگ میاد روی لباش و میگه: “من زنگ در خونه‌ات رو
زدم، نزدم؟!”

تاریخ عروسی: شنبه‌ی هفته‌ی آینده…!

سپاس

Ebi aka Haaji

merci

faramarz khan thanks for the blond joke !! 

But I'll still can make y'all a good martini.        

you're real good at making a good satire.   Maziar

This is much better now!

I was worried that you may have missed us "friends" from the list of Khars! I am happy happy now ... merry merry.

Now a serious question. Which one of the plays did you like better? Which one of the parts would you have liked to play? I know that you used to write semi-professionally and even performed. So your opinion is valued here.

Lol, Shazdeh

I like it when you play the polite one! Actually now that you are into writing plays, it is becoming one of your most cherished hobby, to play the acts!

But in the spirit of Christams !!!! I like it and congrats you.

I don't know if you tried to be vicious by deleting the last part before the paranthesis ((va doustan shoma) or it was really my mistake in writing in that way.

The "agar mesl shoma khar bashand" was referred to the "friends" which came right before the paranthesis. You as a so called writer, must know the rules better than this.

Plus, when someone introduces himself as donkey, I don't see what is offensive to him if we call his family, donkey too?

Although this was not my intention at all and I was only talking about his friends, but honestly, find me one logic in what you just picked up here? If someone says he is a donkey then it means his family is,,,,,,

I mean, at least this is what they want us to understand, isn't it?

The good behavior of the people, warms our heart and make us thankful.....  And the bad ones, just make us to recognize and appreciate the good ones!

قابل نداره عزیز

آب انار هم چشم، جور می‌کنم. ولی‌ شما درست نبود به خانواده این آقا توهین کنید:

"خر، تبریک میگم! شما بدون هیچ شکی بهترین پرسنل این ارتش محسوب میشین ... و همه افراد فامیلتان همچنین (اگر به همین اندازه شما خر باشند) ..."

I loved that one!

Very funny clip. I liked it a lot. What a bright character is that lady.

I don't know if this is just the Ghajar women character or all the Iranian women? But nevertheless I like it so much!

BTW, did you take that aab anaar which Redwine recommended you take? This will stop your diarrhea about the Ghajars.

Meanwhile, wish you a happy new year (without the diarrhea) 

The good behavior of the people, warms our heart and make us thankful.....  And the bad ones, just make us to recognize and appreciate the good ones!

ماشالله به زن ترک قاجار!

As per the request ;-)

پرایس لس جان چرا میری زیر دامن مادرت قایم میشی‌؟

خوب پس حالا که اون زیر هستی‌ یکی‌ دو تا از اون فیلم‌های قمر
خانمی رو ازش قرض کن که برای صد و بیست هزارمین بار بذارین، بلکه خندتون
بگیره، یک کم ترست بریزه.

آخه مامان جونت میگه کریستمسه! باید  با حماقت خودتون  کنار بیاین.

The good behavior of the people, warms our heart and make us thankful.....  And the bad ones, just make us to recognize and appreciate the good ones!

Faramarz jan, just few points

1. You must not have been in Abjeez concert, since you write as if JJ was there.

2. To be fair to women, you should have chosen a picture for your blog in which men would have been naked too.

3. Baba, if JJJ has told you that Iranian.com needs more revenue, then you or your cousin Bavaf should start a fundraiser and in the spirit of holiday season; as exhibited by today's blogs, readers will be generous.

my comments were off record!

PS, But, I am glad you censored the colorful metaphors that I said.